"C'mon, who all wants to come up and sing a duet with me? I don't bite, I promise. I'll even buy ya a drink...

"Seriously? Nobody? Man, you people are no fun at all. Not like I'm asking y'all to come home with me. I mean okay maybe you, down the end of the bar...yeah I'm talkin' to you...

"Okay, whatever. Just to spite all y'all, I'm gonna sing American Pie and waste half your night so nobody else can get up here. And next time it'll be Alice's Restaurant. Alright, hit it..."