A Fredrick’s Fancy Job Offer.

I was lounging on my couch, going through my phone, checking my email for the day. I was expecting to hear back from the Wrap Happy establishment in the next few days about my new job. I doubted after my mishap at the interview before that I would get the job but still held a shred of hope.

Wow, I have a lot of spam messages today. No, I don’t want some credit card promotion; I am not a gullible fool.

As I deleted the last promotional email, I noticed something strange. I had an email that was marked To Sarah Collinsworth, a Business Proposition.  The email didn’t say who had sent it, only FF incorporated. I scratched at my head, wondering who would be sending me mail. Maybe it was yet another scam trying to take my hard-earned money.

Still, my curiosity won over in the end, and I opened the mail.

Dear Ms. Colliosnworth.

I am a representative for Fredrick of the Fredrick’s Fancy Company, and we would like to hire you for a few in-person promotional campaigns around the United States. You will be compensated for your time, travels, and any size-changing issues. You can give us your answer at 468-723-8891.

We will not be responsible for any injuries you will face or accidents you cause while under our products' influence as a forewarning.

I took in a deep breath.  Fredrick has some audacity if he thinks he can just hire me to be his promotional size-changing lady for him. I have better things to do to earn money; I am not desperate to lower myself to his level just yet.

My phone vibrated as I received a new email. I took a deep breath and checked it.  Wrap Happy Interview Status.

I gulped. I finally had in my hands the news I had been dreading for a week. Sweat dripped down the back of my neck as I opened the message.

Dear Sarah.

We regret to inform you that you have failed to meet our requirements for Wrap Happy's position. If the position opens again, you are free to reapply. Have a nice day.

Andrew.

I threw the phone to the side. I didn’t get the job and was stuck working with Gregory at Jenny Downs; that is just great. I was hoping to escape from that horrible boss sooner than later.

I tapped my fingers on my knees, thinking.  What other places can I try to get a job at? There are not many people hiring that don’t require a college degree at the moment, and it isn’t like I went to college. I was going to eventually when I could afford to pay for it and found what I wanted to do with my life.

I looked back at my phone, remembering the offer that Fredrick’s employee had sent me. Although I didn’t want to lower myself to working for that jerk, it was a way to earn some money. That and I wouldn’t be working directly with Fredrick, and it could be better than working with Gregory.

I wrote down the number from the message. This wasn’t a decision I wanted to make right now while I was still emotional from losing the Wrap Happy job. Take some time. Go for a walk and think about this before you call them.

I stood up and headed for the door. It was November, and the first snow had already hit my area. Thankfully the temperature had risen today and melted the snowy nightmare before I had to worry about shoveling. Still, it was a brisk fifty-four degrees outside, so I grabbed my puffy white jacket before heading out for my run.

I stepped out of the door into a cold breeze, causing me to shiver. “Good, this will help me to get my blood pumping.” I walked out to the back of my house, where there was a trail leading into the woods. I had carved out the path over the years as a place where I could go for my own personal peace when I needed to think.

I jogged down the path, watching the last few leaves fall down from the trees around me. The beauty of fall had passed long ago, and the world looked like a ghost of itself in preparation for the winter. Even though the snow brought with it the pain of carving my way out of my home and driveway, it did make the world seem livelier this time of year.

I sighed and continued down the path. Could I really take the job offer from Fredrick’s Fancy? It just like I would be lowering myself on some level to work for that creep. But on the other hand, I would be able to enjoy his products for work. I couldn’t explain it but my body growing and shrinking was a fun experience. I just couldn’t find an excuse to go through with the fun. Gregory, my current boss, had a love-hate relationship with the whole thing. He wanted to use me for money but hated it when I tried to use Fredrick’s Fancy products on my own terms.

On my own time, Carien was the only person who enjoyed them, and if I actually shrank. Otherwise, the whole thing freaked her out. I didn’t like doing the changes at home after I almost broke apart my house. I needed a safe place to just have fun, and this job would give me that if I could stomach working for a person, I despised.

Well, I guess I would be trading one crazy boss that wants to exploit my size changing for another, so that wouldn’t change. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to call to find out if I even work with Fredrick or not as well. If I don’t have to see him, the job might be bearable as well.

I turned around and jogged for home. I should have brought my phone with me, but I forgot it on my couch. Still, I had more time to enjoy the nature around me, even if it was a bit eerie and in the right lighting would have been out of a horror movie. Nice old gnarled trees.

In about five minutes, I returned home, rushing inside. I didn’t even take off my jacket as I rushed to the living room and looked for the paper I had written the phone number on. I didn’t find the scrap on the couch and, after a few moments, found the small piece of paper lying on the floor. I sighed and picked it up, and then reached for my phone.  Let's get this ordeal over with.

I slowly tapped the numbers on my phone, my fingers feeling like lead. I then waited for the phone to ring.  Pick up, pick up, pick up.

On the fourth ring, a raspy male voice answered. “Yes?”

“This is Sarah. I am calling about the email you sent me.”

“Ah, yes. Glad you decided to take us up on our business proposition, Ms. Collingsworth.”

“I just want more information right now.”

“Of course. A trial run is perfectly in order.”

“That isn’t what I was saying.”

“Meet my associates and me at 27 Lovers Cross Lane in two hours, and we will show you exactly what we expect from you.” The line went dead. I sighed. I had questions I had wanted to ask, not set up an appointment in two hours for a trial run.

Well, things could be worse. At least I don’t have to work at Jenny Downs today, or I would have to come up with an excuse as to why I would be sneaking off to this meeting instead of going to my official job.

I decided I would just relax in the meantime. 27 Lovers Cross Lane wasn’t that far from my house. I had a good hour and a half to burn before I had to get in the car and leave. I should have asked where along the road he wanted to meet me, though.  I can call him before I go and find out, I guess.

I found an old movie to watch to pass the time, I had already gone for my run. After about fifteen minutes, my eyes began to droop. Before I knew it, I fell asleep.

***

I awoke to the sound of a blaring foot cream commercial. I twisted my head, looking for the digital clock on the table beside the couch. 3:45, and I had to be at 27 Lovers Cross Lane at the top of the hour.  I fell asleep and overslept. Great.

I jumped up and rushed for the door, grabbing my coat and keys on the way out. This was a great way to make a first impression. The cold breeze outside had died down, but the temperature had dipped down as well. I shivered as I made my way to my vehicle, unlocking the door. Once inside my vehicle, I started the machine up and sped out of the driveway.

I drove as fast as I could without going over the speed limit. I had to make sure I arrived there but didn’t want to ruin yet another vehicle. I still remember what happened when I had a growing incident inside my old car, causing myself to speed out of control. Even though it wasn’t my fault after that day, I made sure not to go over the speed limit ever again, afraid I might flip yet another vehicle.

Eighteen minutes later, I turned onto 27 Lovers Cross Lane. I slowed down, looking for where I should turn for this job opportunity. I didn’t get a chance to call back, so now I just had to find the place on my own. As it was, I was already six minutes late. I passed a gas station and deserted playground.  Nothing yet. As I continued down the street, there was nothing but endless woods on both sides. I started to wonder if the Fredrick’s Fancy official wanted to meet me at the gas station on the corner, as there is no way they would want to meet at that deserted playground.  That would just be creepy.

Near the end of the street, I saw a Fredrick’s Fancy van parked at the end of the driveway for an old deserted hunting lodge. I put my turn signal on and pulled into the driveway, parking my vehicle next to the van. I didn’t see anyone as I stepped out of my vehicle, so I started walking towards the lodge. As I neared, a young man smoking from a pipe stepped out from the broken down lodge, waving at me. “Sarah Collingsworth, I presume.”

I nodded. “Yes. Sorry that I am late.”

The man brushed his hands through his wavy black hair. “It’s fine. We are still waiting for the others to arrive.”

“Others?”

“Yes. They have to bring the cameras and audio equipment for this.”

I blinked, staring at his jean jacket and dress pants. “Just what are we doing? I thought you said this is going to be a trial run.”

“Yes, it is. Think of it like an audition, but you don’t have to compete with anyone else.

The only thing is we have to make sure that everything will work out. I mean, producing commercials and personal appearances across the country where you show off our product’s more ahem unique features will take us some practice dealing with.”

I crossed my arms. “I don’t want to make any more commercials. I guess I don’t mind personal appearances, but I am against my face on television right now. It’s just weird.”

“What is the difference?”

“I. . .” I looked around. I hadn’t really thought of that; I had just been so focused on the fact that I hadn’t wanted my face on the news to avoid further embarrassment. Maybe doing a comical wouldn’t be that bad after all if I didn’t mind growing and shrinking in public for this job. “I guess I don’t mind doing the commercials. But I refrain from anything embarrassing.”

“Of course. If you want, you can wait inside. I have some homemade cookies waiting inside. Just don’t eat the props yet. It is Fredrick’s Fancy chocolate, and well, we want in the frame. We won’t be filming today but still want to practice trying to keep your size changing all in one shot so when we do film, we don’t have to ask anything excessive from you.”

“That sounds nice, I guess. Wait, what is your name?”

“Callen. I am the one running this project for Mr. Fredrick.”

“Oh does he. . .”

Callen’s phone rang, and he picked it up. “Hello? Where are you?” He put the phone to his chest and looked at me. “Go inside and just wait; this will take a bit.” He returned to his phone conversation and walked off. “Now I gave you perfect directions to this place. How the hell are you lost?”

I sighed and walked inside. The lodge was beaten down and broken, no one using the place for the last fifty years. It seemed Calen had brought some furniture of his own as the table in the center of the room was new with a plate of cookies on it. Besides the cookies was a chocolate bar with a label of Fredrick’s Fancy. Our products will grow on you.

I walked over to the table and picked up a cookie. “They will never stop with the cheesy lines, will they?” The cookie tasted sweet, though I wished there were some chocolate chips in it. As I looked around the room, I wished that Callen could have brought in some more furniture. The rest of the dusty room only held broken tables, chairs, and a locked cabinet with a dented door. I also saw a trapdoor above me that led to the lodge's attic, but the lock looked rusted.

I sighed and sat down on the floor next to the table, taking another bite out of the cookie. Hopefully, I didn’t have to wait that much longer. Staying in this creepy lodge isn’t what I wanted to do on a Saturday evening. I had hoped to meet up with Carien later this evening.  Maybe next week.

The door suddenly swung open, and Callen and a crew of people carrying equipment entered the room. “Get everything set up. We won’t be recording anything today, but we need to practice, practice. The name of the game today is practice. Keep the star in the frame as she changes size, or you are fired.”

The others looked annoyed as they went about their jobs. I stood up and asked, “What do I do now?”

Callen looked at me. “Just wait until we have everything set up and all you do today is eat a bit of that bar. As it is practice for us, you don’t have to do anything special. But further down the line, you will have to act out a bit. Do special things when you grow and such.”

I crossed my arms. “You do know that I don’t exactly control what happens to me, right.”

Callen started yelling at the others as if he hadn’t heard me. “Don’t put that over there. Put it here. I said here.”

Well, this is going to be interesting. Callen only seems to hear what he wants to hear.

After a few minutes of Callen yelling at his employees, the stage was set. Callen turned to me and said, “Ok, we are ready for you. Take the chocolate and grow for us.”

I picked up the bar and unwrapped it. “I said before, I can’t control what happens to me. It is a toss-up if I shrink or grow.”

“Just do it already. If you shrink, we will deal with it.”

I rolled my eyes and took a few bites out of the chocolate. But before I could set the bar down, Callen looked at me and said, “Eat the whole thing.”

“What does it matter?”

“So we know we will get results.”

I sighed.  Like you know how this works.  Still, I did like I was told and ate the entire bar if for nothing else to teach him a lesson. I then just leaned against the table and waited. Minutes passed, and I didn’t feel anything.

Callen tapped his foot on the floor. “What is taking so long?”

“This isn’t an instant process. The first time I had a reaction, it took hours afterward to take effect.”

“We don’t have that long to wait. Nor can we wait that long if we do a public appearance in the future.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. Get another person.”

“We can’t. No one else is experiencing your, ahem, changes from what we know. And if they are, they are being quiet about it.”

I rolled my eyes as I started to feel my body start to quiver. Callen looked at me and asked, “Are you alright? Your skin is literally crawling.”

“Ya, this is what happens right before I change in size.”

I suddenly felt my body explode, growing at an alarming rate. In just a few moments, I hit my head on the ceiling and had to duck as I continued to grow.  This isn’t good at all.

“Oh, wow. Keep her in the frame.”

I wasn’t’ going to fit in the room for long at the rate I was growing, so I tried to make it for the door. When I reached the door, I had grown too large to fit through the frame. I moved to my hands and knees, trying to find space for my growing girth.  Please slow down. At this rate, I am going to bring the lodge down.

But I didn’t slow down. The next thing I knew, my body became cramped against the sides of the room. I pulled myself into a tighter and tighter ball, unwilling to destroy the lodge I was in.  I won’t do it. I won’t do it.

But my body kept growing. I couldn’t hold my position any longer, and my growing limbs shot out in all directions like rockets. My legs pushed through the front wall of the lodge so quickly they became stuck. My arms burst through the sides of the building, my torso made its way into the attic, and my head through the roof. I shook my head as I tried to get the debris and timber out of my hair.

I grew a few more feet, the lodge becoming tight around my body. It felt like a weird piece of clothing as the building tightened around the body. Once the growth had stopped, I took a deep sigh and looked around. I had to be close to forty or fifty feet tall, and it hadn’t even been two minutes. That has to be a new record for me growing.

I looked down at the lodge that covered me like a bad mini skirt. I tried to push it off, but the damn thing held firm. “This isn’t any good.” I slammed a fist down, causing the trees around me to shake. “What am I supposed to do rooted to the ground like this?”

“That was a great job, everyone. Even though we had to get out of that building fast, we kept her in the frame.”

I looked down at Callen. “Hey. I hurt myself here.” I looked at my bruised limbs from growing too fast. “Are you going to pay me back for this?”

Callen shook his head. “Injures while growing are your issue.”

I took a deep breath. “Excuse me.” I made my way to my feet, pulling the house up with me.

“Hey, calm down. It is in the contract.”

“I didn’t sign any contract yet.”

“Umm. Can we discuss this when you are a more appropriate height and not wearing a building?”

“I am not going to hurt you. Ugh, never mind.”

Callen turned to the others. “Ok, we have our mission here for today done. Pack everything up and head back.”

I bent down, the lodge creaking with my movement. “Hey, what about me? You made me grow to this height, and you are just going to leave me out here?”

Callen turned to look at me. “Well, all we were going to do was test our equipment and see if we could capture you growing. . .” and in a hushed tone, “or shrinking, ahem, in front of us. We don’t have any further business for the day. I suggest you go home and get some rest.”

“I am large enough to use my home as a stool. There has to be something else. You can’t just leave me hanging like this.”

He was already walking away. “Sorry, but there isn’t. We will call you when we need you again.” He rushed off for the van and drove away.

I crossed my arms.  What am I supposed to do now? It isn’t like there is much I can do when I am this size. Well, there is one thing I could get back at Matt for ruining my chance at my job at Wrap Happy.  I had wanted to just move on, but the jerk had decided to get me back for leaving him in the middle of nowhere by slipping a Fredrick’s Fancy product into my car right before my interview that caused me to blow up like a literal balloon. I still wasn’t happy with him running my chance at what could have been a decent job that wouldn’t involve people exploiting me for my unusual abilities.

Callen’s van sped back down the driveway.  Hmm, wonder why he is back.

He drove the van up to my right leg before stepping out. “Hey, you almost ran over my foot. Watch where you are driving.”

Callen started yelling at me. “Hey, I need your help. One of my idiot co-workers already ran their vehicles off the road, and we need a helping hand pulling the merchandise out of the ditch.”

I narrowed my eyes. “If I do this, I want some sort of payment. You did make me grow to an immense height and have a building stuck to my body. I deserve something.”

“We don’t have time to discuss this. We need to. . .”

I reached down and picked up Callen’s van. “If you don’t want to walk back to where your co-worker went off the road, you will pay me for today’s work.”

Callen started jumping and swatting in the air as if he could pull the van from my grasp. “Hey, give me my vehicle back. That is company property. Hey. Ok, ok. We will give you some payment now; just put the van down.”

I gently set the vehicle down. “Ok, now show me where they went off the road, and we can settle this matter.”

Callen jumped back into the van and drove off. I followed him. At my size, I easily kept up even when he was going at fifty miles an hour. Callen drove around the corner, and I saw a small white car in a ditch, spinning its tires. Callen pulled along the side of the road, stepped out, and yelled at me, “Ok giant lady, do your job, and I will see about getting you some cash.”

I rolled my eyes and reached down to pull the car out of the rut. In seconds I pulled the toy out of the ditch and back onto the road. The man still inside looked at me with a terrified look the entire time and once he was on the road sped off.

I then looked at Callen. “Happy?”

“Yes. I will call you tomorrow about your payment.”

I placed my foot between him and his van. “I want to talk about getting paid now.”

Callen took a deep breath. “Fine. I have to get my wallet out of my van first.”

I gently put my foot on the roof of his vehicle. “Go ahead, but if you start the vehicle up, I am going to turn your van into one of those bug cars.”

Callen reached inside the van and pulled out his wallet. “I don’t have any cash on me, but I can write you a check, assuming you can carry it.”

I bent down, so my head was closer to him. “There was a mailbox back at the lodge entrance. Put the check there, and I will get it when I shrink back down. I am too large right now to grab it, and if I have it when I shrink, there is a chance the check will just shrink with me later. That won’t do me any good.”

“Fine. I will drive back.”

I took my heel off of his van and let him drive back to the lodge’s entrance. He then put the check into the mailbox before rushing off. I crossed my arms and sat down next to the mailbox. All I could do now was wait.

As the minutes passed, I realized that the lodge that was stuck to my skin would be a problem when I started to shrink back down. I hoped that the lodge would shrink down with me now that it was attached to my body, but I couldn’t take that risk. If it didn’t, I could end up having the debris crush me.

I wasn’t going to take the chance; I stood up and tried to rip the wooden frame from my body. But as I started, my body trembled. I was beginning to shrink.  I need to work fast and get this thing off of me.

Using my fading strength, I ripped the wooden lodge off of my body as I started to shrink. The logs fell to the side, growing as they fell to the earth. I held up my shrinking arms to try and defend myself as the debris fell around me.

In moments I returned to my own size with the ruined lodge surrounding me. My clothing was tattered but still intact. I took a deep breath in before walking over to where the mailbox was to grab my check. I had been fortunate today. I had grown large enough to have a house as a clothing piece and managed not to get hurt when I shrank back down. I also managed to earn some money from a trial run with the Fredrick’s Fancy company trial run. I didn’t see a problem working with them in the future, as long as I didn’t have to work with Fredrick. I still didn’t like him.

I slipped the check into my pocket. It was time to head home. Another crazy day of being a giant had come and gone.  Time for me to take a nice long shower and see what Carien is up to; I am due for some pleasant relaxation.