"Hey, I haven't seen you in a while." Anna told me with that same old smile.
"Yeah. I guess you could say that."

Anna sat in her box, which I left in the back of my closet. For old times sake, I had to see her again.

"Did you miss me?"
"I must admit, I have."
"But you've moved on." She whispered.
"Yeah."

I took Anna out of her box, and set her on my desk.

"Oooh, cold."

I brushed her hair away, letting the flat bottom of her neck stump make contact with my table. Still beautiful as I remember. Her eyes large, and a face that still looked pleasant when all of her muscles were relaxed.

"Why did you take me out?" She asked me fetchingly.
"I wanted to confirm your face, I forgot the lines."
"You deleted all of our pictures?"
"I did. It hurt too much."
"Was I your first?"
"Yes. If only I had told you."
"I would have understood. It's not a big deal."

I broke eye contact for a moment.

"I remember a few months in, you said 'I could never be with a virgin' in casual conversation. I actually wondered how you could never tell."
"I guess the first two times were a little weird."
"Haha. I told you that I hated condoms."

She looked up at me again.

"Move closer, boy."

I lowered my chair, bringing me face to face.

"I feel that when we parted, I lost a piece of me." Her expression was empathetic, her face tilted.
"I felt the same."
"Brush my hair, boy."

I slowly brought my hand through her hair, she always took good care of herself.

"Ohhhh I miss that." She whispered. "I wish I could return the favour right now."
"You already did."
"No, let me. Lay your head down."

I trusted her. I still trusted her. In our heads we carried each others burdens.

I heard her move herself. I felt her breath on my scalp, my hair was short, cut a few days prior. She kissed me, slowly. Her nose traced lines in my hair, causing my skin to rise.

"Turn over, boy."

I faced her, my head still tilted.

"Pull me closer."

I did, and she leaned forwards, and kissed me where my jaw and ear connected, exhaling a warm breath to prepare the skin. There was a somber expression on her face.

"Have you been getting along well?"
"Yes. I learned a lot from you."
"Well, for a virgin, you had me fooled."
"I read a few books. I couldn't get you to orgasm the first few times."
"But once you solved me... Oh, you made me crazy, boy."
"Have you gotten on?"
"I'm happy now. It's a different sort of happiness, but still nice."
"That's good."

Her expression changed slightly, more inquisitive.

"You've matured, boy."
"Of course, it has been a few years."
"You're not possessive like before."
"I had a lot of time to figure out what I did wrong."
"I screwed up too. I gave you so much trouble."
"You wanted trouble, so you made it up."
"You, I..."

She looked away.

"I have some issues."
"You told me, have you sorted them out?"
"A bit. I haven't told my new boy about it."
"How long have you been together?"
"Only a few months."
"You opened up to me quickly."
"You... You didn't judge me, ever. I will always remember that about you."
"And I'll always remember you. It was nice catching up with you, Anna."

I lifted her up, cradling her by her crown and neck, and kissed her on the forehead.

"Don't forget." She smiled, and turned her head one way. I kissed her where she kissed me before, near the ear and jaw. She turned the other way where I did the same again.

I put her back in the box, and set her down, in the back of my closet.

"Hmmmm."

Marlene. She was interesting.

I took out another box from the back and sat down on the bed.

"How are you, Marlene?"
"Hey."

I set her down, her neck resting in the curve of my leg.

"So, did you go back to... Her?" She asked me.
"No, I didn't. You were very jealous."
"No I wasn't. I had reasons."
"Haha. You tried to start shit with me continuously."
"You... You never flinched. You were like some sort of monk freak."
"I always told you to fuck off. I would put up with you for a few hours, then leave. You always called me back."
"You..." She looked away. "Take your shrit off. I want to see you again."

I set her down sideways, and did what she asked.

"Let me on your chest again."

I set her there. It was strange like this, the weight of her body was gone.

"Ohh. I missed this." I felt her neck stump moving, doing her best approximation of a caress.
"I enjoyed this as well. I always wondered how we got from a fight, to this."
"Oh, they weren't fights. I would yell a bunch, and you'd just hug me after a while."
"Well, I learned not to let my emotions be too affected."

She exhaled.

"I couldn't find a guy like you after this."
"Really? I'm not so unique, Marlene."
"It turns out you are."
"Impossible. There are a few billion men on this planet, one of them must be a better choice than I."

She sighed, her warm breath on my chest.

"After you they were either... They resolved problems by... Apologizing to me. They never did anything."

She squirmed her neck a bit, bringing her eyes to meet mine.

"Or they struck me."
"That's terrible." I whispered, palming the side of her face.

She held eye contact for several moments.

"Take your pants off."

I stood up and undid my belt, throwing it aside. I saw her biting her lower lip, I knew what she wanted. My pants were quickly discarded. My briefs were left on.

"Oh, you remembered how much I enjoyed that."

I set the flat of her neck stump on my bedside table, and stood with my pelvis at her level. She kissed me, between my navel and waistband. Inch by inch, she brought them down, moving the left part down a bit, then the right, over and over again. Very gently, she pulled me out by the foreskin.

Her expression wasn't one of anticipation like usual, it was similar to the one she wore when she painted.

Her lips brought me out, exposing my glans, which she gave a slow, short lick.

"Fuck." I was so simple.
"This was it. The only way I could bend you."

I brought my underwear the rest of the way down. She kissed my tip, and brought me in again. She knew how to make me shake. She continued for a few more moments before I stopped her.

"Did I remind you of your father?" This question stopped her immediately.
"You... No. My father was an asshole."
"You always had something bad to say about him."
"And you always told me that everything would be okay... You just told me what I wanted to hear."
"If I had told you anything else, you wouldn't have had any of it. Girls don't want actual advice."
"I did."

I put my pants back on. Marlene was still melancholy.

"You didn't need any. I would have just told you what you already knew."

A tear materialized, and rolled down her face. She held eye contact.

"Why did you leave me?"
"You were more negative than positive. You were like a yo-yo, you'd be mad at me one moment, and grabbing my knob the next."

She sobbed slightly.

"Will you... Will you call me? Please?"

I held her in my hands, and looked into her eyes.

"Tonight? Why not."
"Thank you." She smiled, at last.

Back in the box.

There was one more I wanted to look at. The newest box in the closet. I told myself I wouldn't bother with it ever, but maybe now would have been a good time.

I brought it out and set it on the chair, and knelt in front of it before opening.

"Hey, Julia."
"Oh, long time no see." She smiled. "I miss you."
"No, you don't. You've moved on already."
"I didn't want to." Her expression inverted. "If only I could have come with you."
"Or if I could have stayed." I said. "It's too hard."
"I know." She said with a pained expression. "It was so nice. You made me feel safe."
"You didn't like it when I hugged you from behind in bed."
"You!" She giggled. "C'mon!"
"Haha. You said it felt dirty when my feet were against yours."
"Please." She smiled. "You dealt with my hangups so well."

I let the air settle.

"I miss your smell. There was a guy with you cologne on the bus the other day... I followed him trying to smell it for a few minutes. I didn't know how to explain to my new boyfriend why I was late."

I just smiled.

"It's because we're different." I said. "The more genetically different you are from your partner, the better you'll smell to them. It's natures way of making sure we expand the gene pool."
"Oh, you smelt so nice. Even without the cologne."

I lifted her off of the chair and kissed her. She forced her tongue in my mouth, and we slowed our pace. She explored every inch.

"Turn me around." She said during a pause.

I did, and we dragged our tongues against each others. It made a different bell ring in our brains.

"I always loved that." She said. "You're the only man who wanted to kiss me upside down." She smiled.
"I'm still crazy for you. I wish I didn't have to go back."
"We... We went back to the way we were in our own countries."
"I know what it was." I brought my fingers through her hair. "We didn't feel the need to conform to our cultures' expectations. We could be honest in a new place."
"I miss that."

I backed up.

'You taught me so, so much. I didn't know I could find anyone like you."
"You're... So different. You're not like other guys."
"You should have seen the younger me, you wouldn't have wanted anything to do with him."
"What matters is who you are now. We change, we mature. Maybe the future me would have been worse than the me you dated."

I sighed.

"I had the time of my life with you."
"Ohh." She sighed. "Kiss me. One last time."

I lifted her up, and kissed her deeply and slowly. After a moment, she was back in her box.

"Don't regret it." She said with empathy and peace in her voice.
"I never have."

We both smiled.

The box was closed, and back in the closet.

When I look at them like this, I can see the context clearer. Every time a new box arrived, it felt like the worst pain in the world. Each new one did, but each one was better than the last one, at least I would believe in the moment.

The next box will be the best box, as will the one after that. Each one comes with a lesson and a flaw.

My phone vibrated in my pocket.

"hey <3 where r u???"