“I just don’t know how we’re going to manage this year.  They cut my hours at the hospital again.  After SARS-3, about the only patients we get are kids.  Everyone else...”  The woman speaking sighed mournfully.  “I shouldn’t be mad, they’re healthy.  That’s good...”

Her husband hugged her gently.  “I know.  Mom and Dad are doing so much better now that they’ve venned themselves younger.  They’d be willing to help out with Christmas.  You know they’ll have lots of gifts for the kids, we don’t need to go crazy like usual.”

“Yeah, I just...  It feels like such a failure.  I don’t want to ask them.”

“Me either.  But if it’s that or punt on getting a Christmas tree...”

“There is another alternative,” said a twenty-something guy leaning in the doorway of the kitchen.

“What do you mean, Dave?” asked his stepmother.

“Venn me into a tree for the month.  You’d save on food for me, and the cost of a tree.  Win-win.”

“How is that a win for you?” asked his father.

Dave shrugged.  “Curiosity?  That, and if you venn CeeCee into decorations, I’d get to spend a whole month with her...”

“Dave, you know what I think about that woman.  She’s too old for you.”

Dave chuckled softly.  “You said it yourself.   We can be whatever age we want.  Doesn’t matter.  What does matter is that home care is doing even worse than Verna’s nursing job.  She’s going to lose her apartment at the end of the month.”

“So how does turning her into a garland help?” asked Verna.

“And could you call my wife Mom, just once?” asked Dave’s father.

Dave smirked.  “If you agree to my deal, sure.”

“What exactly are your terms?”

“A month as the tree, with CeeCee as a garland... then she gets to stay on as whatever I turn her into, without the ‘under my roof’ ranting.”

“We might not be able to feed two more mouths.  Jim and Steve are growing up, and eating more...”

“I’ll make sure she’s inanimate enough not to need food.  And I suspect she’ll be happy enough to venn me similarly.”

His father thought it over.  “Will you keep looking for work, once you’re... not a tree?”

“If you’re okay with me taking up a job that would see me venned into something not human.”

“Dave...”

“Come on.  Grandma and Grandpa are venned all the time now.”

“Yeah, into slightly younger versions of themselves.”

Dave smirked.  “They haven’t told you?”

“Told us what?”

“Nope, not my place.  Sorry I said anything.”

His father narrowed his eyes.  “Spill.”

Dave held his hands up defensively.  “I don’t know all  the details, but last weekend when I drove the kids to their place?  We went to the mall, and the four of them spent time in the play-space there.  All as little kids.  They got really talkative after they had their juice boxes, and let slip that it wasn’t their first recreational venn, not by miles.”

“And that means it should be OK for you to be a thing for a year?”

“It pays well enough,” argued Dave.  “Once you consider you don’t have expenses.”

“Is there any room for promotion, or do you figure on being an object indefinitely?”

“Some places, yeah.  There’s a store in the mall where they only use Venned mannequins, and they leave them able to talk.  So they can chat up the customers and help make sales.  Get enough commissions, and they hire you on as sales staff... though usually that means one of the staff gets demoted to mannequin duty.  I’ve heard some of them make a game of it, and others play to ‘lose’.”

Verna shook her head.  “Why would they do that?”

“Because they get a kick out of being a mannequin?  Some people find being other things fun.”

“Like being a tree with your girlfriend wrapped around you?” asked Dave’s father.

“Exactly so.  Never tried it, thought... well, it solves a bunch of problems.  And the idea of a month-long hug is appealing.”

His father sighed.  “Fine.  It means a proper Christmas for the little ones, and in that spirit I accept.”

One handshake later, Dave was grinning.  “If you venn us tonight, we’ll change back on Three Kings day.”

Before either parent knew it, they had the most beautiful Christmas tree they’d ever seen standing in their living room, wrapped gaily in a golden garland.  They weren’t quite sure where CeeCee had come from, but Dave’s father had transformed her as agreed.

“Well.  Merry Christmas to us, I suppose.  I’ll go get the lights.”

The new tree was the centerpiece of their celebrations, and only lightly assaulted by the two year old Steve.  Jim was curious as to where his big brother had vanished to, and found the idea that he was the tree hilarious... but he also took to heart that the tree was watching him, and was better behaved than he had been in months.

Once the boys were abed, and the house was warm and quiet, the exhausted parents sat on the couch and enjoyed the glow of the tree.  “I hope he’s happy,” murmured Verna.

“I’m sure.  He wanted this.  I hope it was a good Christmas for him as well.  It has been weird not having him around.”

“Tiring, too,” admitted Verna.  “If I hadn’t had my hours cut further, I don’t know if I could have kept up with the boys.  I didn’t realize how much he helped.”

“Tell him that.  Though if I understand right, he probably heard you just now.”

“Merry Christmas, son,” said Verna, raising a toast to the tree.  “It was a good one.”

Twelve days later, the tree’s decorations had been removed, all but one last chain of lights and the garland.  Dave’s parents were once again sitting on the couch, watching an app on his father’s phone.  “Should be back in a minute.”

“Have you ever met CeeCee before?”

“Nope.  I hope she’s nice.”

“Dave likes her, that should be good enough.  He’s a good kid,” said his father.

“True.  Though right now he’s a good tree.”  Verna sighed.  “I kind of wish we could keep them like this.  He didn’t lose a needle, and looks fresh as the day we brought him home.”

“Okay,” said Dave, standing where the tree had been.  He gave a little shake to get the last of the lights off his arms, though he held on tight to the garland until it too reverted.

The woman standing beside him cuddled up against him.  “It was nice being snuggled around you for a month.  I could do that again.  How long?”

“A year?” asked Dave.  “We’d change back next Three Kings day...”

“Are you serious?” asked Verna.  “Because I’d totally do that, despite missing my helper with the boys.”

“Verna!”

“He offered.”

“And he’s not in his right mind.  What are you thinking, son?  You want to miss a year of your life just to be a pretty tree in our living room?”

“CeeCee put little sparkles in the branches, and I could see through them.  I saw and heard everything.  It was a very special month, and... yes, I would totally do it again.  But... perhaps you’d have more use for a maid-bot?”

CeeCee giggled.  “And the maid bot would need a uniform.  Dibs on the uniform.”

Verna looked torn.  “Can I...  That would be amazing.  But I thought you were going to look for a job.”

“Helping with the boys is a full time job, Mom.”

Verna smiled at Dave.  “Oh!  You...  Okay.”

“Cool!” exclaimed Dave and CeeCee together.  “Can we go now?” added Dave.

“Someone has to stay with the kids.”

CeeCee gestured to Verna.  “Can you drive us?  I’m sure you’d appreciate a little time away from the kids.”

“Sure.  You don’t mind, do you honey?”

“They’re asleep.  I think I can manage,” he chuckled.  “No sneaky turning my wife into a tree, hmm?”

“Wouldn’t dream of so radical a change,” giggled CeeCee.  “How about minor upgrades?”

Verna licked her lips nervously.  “How minor?”

CeeCee’s grin grew wider.  “Nothing that you’d see walking down the street.”

“Honey...”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.  Dave will keep an eye on me.  Right?”

“CeeCee won’t do anything you won’t like.  We need you to drive us home, remember?”

“Oh.  Right.  Okay.”

At the mall, Verna hesitated in front of the Venn Machine.  “How long should I set it for?”

“As long as you feel comfortable with.  Or maybe a little longer.  This is my Christmas gift for the two of you, so I’ll make it good,” promised CeeCee.  “If you hate it, you can change back.  If you really like it, you and your husband can come here and extend it.”

Verna tapped out a two month change after her son-in-law instructed her in how to do it.  She skittered into the machine, and shifted her weight from foot to foot as CeeCee worked.  “What are you doing?”

CeeCee giggled.  “Dave has some kinky ideas.  I’m sharing one of the better ones, and adding a little twist of my own.  Let’s go with the Mark 8, artificial, but not wild...”  She murmured a few more things.  “End exploded view.  There, my masterpiece is ready.  Did you want to change me into anything while we’re here?  Free shot, I’ll stay as whatever for the two months if you like.”

“Did you like being a garland?”

CeeCee’s eyes went distant as she smiled at the memory.  “Definitely.  It was so cozy, and the month-long hug was the best.  Still, I’d have liked to move around a little more.  Maybe a shawl or scarf?”

“I could wear a scarf, I guess.  But you’d rather something Dave can use, yes?”

“Of course.”

“Oooh, how about a feather duster?”

CeeCee giggled.  “Yeah!  That’d be a total classic.  Go for it.  Get used to turning people into things.”

Verna hesitated.  “Is... is that a good thing?  It’s crazy.”

“Yeah.  But your husband turned me into a garland easily enough.  I like being stuff, and with work the way it is... that might be my career going forward.”

“Is that really what you want?”

“It’s lovely and peaceful.  You can just turn your mind off and drift.  No pressure, nothing to worry about.”

Verna chuckled softly.  “Trying to sell me on it?  Because after the chaos of the last month, I could use a few days off.”

“Not two months, though,” CeeCee replied with a knowing smirk.  “Best to start small, get your husband to bring you here one night and have fun.”

“Do you really think he would, if I asked?”

“He turned me into a pretty garland.  I’m sure he’d be willing to change you into anything you asked nicely, and made it sound fun for him as well.”

“Fun for him?”

CeeCee giggled and tapped the button.  “You’ll see.  Forty-five seconds left to decide.”

Verna frowned in puzzlement.  “I don’t feel any different.”

“Yet.  Thirty seconds.”

“Featherduster!  And I just touch it?”

“Yep. Then the green...”  CeeCee’s voice was cut off by her transformation into a classic wooden-handled ostrich feather duster.

Dave stepped in to pick his sweetie up, then swished her through the air a few times.  “Nice.  I could use one of these.  Give me a moment to put it in the locker, and I guess you’re turning me into a maidbot.  There’s a good one in my history, you won’t need to do any design work.”

“Um, okay?  You’re taking this well.  I just turned your sweetie into an object.”

“And I’d have done the same in a bit.  I’m glad to see you getting into the spirit of this.”

“Which is?”

“Venn Machines can be used for fun.”  Dave swished the duster about once more before he deposited it in a locker and closed it.  “Swishy and flexible forms all feel lovely.”

“God, you’re going to get me turning into things too, saying stuff like that.”

Dave chuckled warmly, and returned to the Venn Machine.  He set it for a year.  “Maidbot time.  All you need to do is say ‘history’, and pick out the obvious maidbot you’ll see.”

When Verna did so, she was presented with a broad array of forms.  “You’ve been all these things?  That one looks like...”  She blushed, and didn’t continue.

“Given the colour your cheeks are turning, I can guess.  CeeCee really liked that one.  That was a great night, for both of us.”

“I should have guessed people use this for sex.  Ugh... I feel...”

“Mom?”

Verna smiled at her stepson thankfully.  “Just... warm.  I need to get home.”

“Oh, she did that one... we’d talked about it, but it would have been too inconvenient.”

“What did she do?” fretted Verna, twisting her hips back and forth.

“Arousal ramping.  You’re going to need Dad’s attention before long.  Gift for him, too.”

Verna managed a lopsided smirk.  “For him only.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll like the other half.”

“Other half?  What other half?” demanded Verna frantically.

“Do you want to keep asking questions, or change me quickly and go home?”  Dave replied with a broad grin.

He was transformed into curvy silver metal a moment later, and in her hurry Verna didn’t think to question why the doors opened so soon after.  They nearly forgot the duster in their rush.

When they got home, Verna immediately dragged her husband to the bedroom.

“Well,” murmured Dave to herself, grinning at her synthetic voice.  “Time to get my programming set up for this place.”

Soon the shimmering maid bot was working away at years of accumulated mess.

In the morning, Maid bot greeted her parents with a cheerful if synthetic, “Hello mother and father.  Did you sleep well?”

“Did I ever,” sighed Verna happily.  “Thank CeeCee for me.”

Maid bot held up her featherduster.  “You have already done so.  Coffee is nearly ready, what would you like for breakfast?”

“You can cook?” wondered Verna.

“The more important question is... why are you a girl robot?” demanded her husband.

“All MaidForYou maids are feminie robots.  And my skills are limited, but if I wake Dave he can handle complex recipes.”

“MaidForYou... isn’t that the outfit you were going to hire on to?”

“Waking Dave...”  Dave’s voice acquired a more natural cadence.  “Sorry, could you repeat the... right.  Yes, I spent a weekend as a MaidForYou robot as a trial run, but you opposed the idea of object work.  Now I’m doing it for free.”

“And you’re okay with being a sex object in the process?”

Dave snickered mechanically at Verna’s coughing fit and blush.  “I’ve been a rather more explicit one.  It’s fun.  As I’m sure Mother can attest.”

“What?”

Verna’s blush got much hotter.  “Have you looked at me down there?  I’m part toy.  You didn’t complain last night...”

“That was...  Er...  What am I supposed to say?”

“Say ‘Thank you...’ what would you like to be called like this?”

“Maid bot is my programmed designation,” said the robot in its artificial cadence.  “Dave can reprogram me if you ask.  He has already customized me for your household.  I can handle most routine tasks independently.”

“And what is my son doing while you do that?”

“Sleeping, mostly.  When I am done with my tasks he can take control and play computer games just like before.”

His father snorted.  “Nice deal, what do you get out of it?”

“I don’t understand,” replied Maid bot, tilting her head in puzzlement.

“You sound like a separate person.  What do you want?”

“I am not a person, I am a synthetic construct with limited speech emulation.”

“You don’t sound all that limited to me.”

“Dave feeds me lines for the complicated stuff.  Like now.”

“Ah.  Are you happy like this?”

“Dave is.”

A long sigh.  “Fine.  Just let me talk to Dave.”

The maid bot’s posture changed slightly.  “Sorry, Dad.  It’s fun to let her talk, and see your puzzlement.  She’s not much of a conversationalist.”

“Yeah, I get that.  Why do you like this?”

“Being a sexy robot?  Why wouldn’t I?  This body feels nice, and it’s at least as strong as I was before.  And it’s so shiny...”

“But you’re a boy.”

Dave shrugged metallic shoulders, then made a show of adjusting her uniform and flouncing its skirt.  “No.  I’m not.  I’m currently a feminine robot, with maid programming to make all the chores a breeze.  Haven’t you ever had a task where you just wanted to zone out and wake up when it was done?  Like this, I can do that.  Folding laundry, cleaning, it’s all on autopilot.”

“But you’re a boy.”

Dave snapped her fingers metallically in front of her father’s face.  “Wake up, Dad.  With the Venn Machines, we can be anything we want to be.  I could become a woman, get pregnant, and become a mother if I wanted to.”

“Are you serious?”

Dave shrugged.  “I don’t want to.  But it’s... liberating to know the option exists.  You should try it sometime, so you can walk a mile in her shoes.  Doesn’t have to be for long.  Eight hours, or less if you go back to the machine to change back.”

“I bet you’d make a pretty woman,” cooed Verna.  “But right now I need a man.”

Dave’s father chuckled at Verna indulgently.  Then he saw the intensity of her look.  “Again?  Already?”

“I get the feeling this body needs it at least three times a day.”

“Give me strength...”

“The Venn Machine can help with that, too!” called Dave as her parents headed toward the bedroom.

“Might just take you up on that,” agreed Dave’s father, just before the door closed.

Dave picked up her featherduster, gave it a few playful swishes, then started in on the dusting.  “You were right, CeeCee.  All they needed was the right kind of nudge.  This is going to be such fun...”