(Man to Living Saint (Female Angel))
(Man to Greater Daemon (Likewise, Female))

“Jesus Christ, it says right here in the rules! Psychic powers are dependent on the mastery level of the psyker!” Ryan shouted, pointing at the Warhammer 40,000 rulebook.

“And where does it define that, hm?” Jared flipped to the corresponding page. “Nowhere on this page does it state that my Mastery Level One psyker is bound to just one power. It says that the number of powers he can cast are dependent on his mastery level, but how? Is it a function? A factorial? A polynomial? What if I can cast 10 to the N powers, where N is my mastery level?”

“Now you’re just being obtuse.” Ryan glared, crossing his arms and shaking his bangs from his face.

“Now I’m just being right. This edition is full of bugs, and right now we’ve run into one of them.” Jared chuckled. “And I think you know that there’s only one way to settle this.” He smiled at his friend.

“Venn it?”

“Venn it.”

 

Sometimes, when a game’s rules are being disputed, the players need to enact house rules to solve it. Sometimes it’s a coin flip. Sometimes it’s a roll-off. The Vennmura University Wargaming Club settled things with a fight between Venned club members.

It was Thunderdome-inspired, transformation-based combat. Two Venned people enter; one person leaves. The victor wins the dispute, and life goes on as normal… Well, after the loser is sponged off of the Vennmura court.

Ryan—now Rina—had chosen a Living Saint as her new form. She’d been playing Sisters of Battle a moment ago, and the angel felt that her visage fit her perfectly. Better yet, the Volunteer Venntendant had a thing for angels, and he’d designed her exquisitely well.

Rina beat her wings again proudly, loving the feeling of the six appendages extending from her shoulder blades. Every one of her feathers was laced a with golden filigree and sharpened to a fine point. Yet somehow they still remained strong enough to bear the woman aloft.

She had no idea how the volunteer was able to work that while still keeping her in full plate armor. Apparently, it was something to do with the fact that she needed three pairs to keep her aloft; coupled with how large and muscled they were.

Either way, Rina wasn’t going to complain. Her new form was as beautiful as it was deadly. Standing at twice the height of a man with fine-etched armor and a two-handed longsword, she was a force to be reckoned with.

The only complaint she had was that her… assets weren’t as large as she’d have liked. But the volunteer was quite adamant that she needed to lose as much weight as possible in order to fly. A small price to pay, the woman thought with an arrogant smile.

Right now, all she had to do was wait for Jared to enter as some Chaos Champion—he’d been playing as the Ruinous Powers, after all. She’d kill him easily, then play the rest of the game like this just for giggles.

As if on time with her thoughts, the door across her opened. Rina settled in a low crouch, holding her blade expertly… And she nearly dropped it on her foot as she saw what had become of Jared.

Her opponent was now a… Well, it was rather hard to describe. Like Rina, Jared had chosen a female form… But that was where the similarities ended. Jared’s new body was a livid purple, the color of a bruise. A trio of massive breasts hung from his—her chest, and her arms ended in sharp talons.

Well, her first pair of arms did. Jared’s new body came with four; the bottom two ending in the telltale crab-pincers of a Slaaneshi daemon. The talons were obviously viciously Khornate, as was the spiked club of a tail that swayed predatorily from side to side. There was no sign of Nurgle, the god of plague; or of Tzeentch, changer of ways.

Rina readied her sword again, reminding herself to keep an eye out for those. That is, if she could keep her eyes off of Jared’s new goods.

Jared grinned at the ‘Living Saint’’s reaction to her new form. That had made it worth all of the painstaken detail she’d put into describing what she wanted to become. Still, she did need to come up with a good name…

“Behold, child of the corpse-god! Before you stands J’Rsshd’Kaal-I-Ma! We have arrived to this mortal plane to do combat with you!” She smiled, extending her claws wide and letting out a fearsome roar.

“Um… What?” The angel looked positively stumped, her sword faltering an inch.

“You may refer to us as Resh, in your primitive man-tongue.” Resh growled lowly, stalking closer to Ryan’s transformed body. God, it was so easy to get into character like this! She flexed all of her arms and worked her tail, loving how it offset her balance just perfectly.

“Um… Okay…” The angel cleared her throat nervously. “Then you shall meet your end at the hands of Rina, Archangel Ascendant; Living Saint of the Order of the Castellan’s Inferno!” Rina called loudly, her sword flashing. “Face me if you dare to bear witness to your own death!”

Resh’s response was to charge at the Venned angel, her claws flashing out. She let out a loud snarl, her claws gouging through Rina’s armor as the angel barely dodged aside from the oncoming blow.

Rina’s eyes widened as Resh continued her relentless assault. The daemon was fast! The angel spun again, her six wings slicing thin gouges from her opponent’s body as she twirled. It was enough to buy her a second’s chance to catch her footing. And that second was all it took.

Rina flicked out her sword expertly, lopping off Resh’s left hand with a triumphant cry. To her surprise, the daemon didn’t so much as flinch. Instead, Resh angled her stump towards Rina’s face, jetting a hot stream of pus at the girl’s eyes.

Rina groaned with disgust, shaking her head to try and clear the blood from her eyes.

“What’s the matter?” Her opponent called tauntingly. “Blinded? You’re just lucky Venn Machines don’t let our body be as toxic as it should be.” The daemon continued to swing her arms at Rina, her pincers clacking menacingly.

Rina hissed through her teeth. She should have expected this from Nurgle. Dulled nerves and a body that wounds you as much as you wound it… Luckily, Rina had some tricks of her own. The angel beat her wings hard, taking to the air and releasing a hand from her blade to wipe her eyes clean.

Resh hissed with anger at that, though inwardly she was impressed. Whoever had Venned Rina had skills—Resh would need to get his contact info so she could copy his technique. Resh hissed again lowly, her claws clacking loudly in impotence.

“What’s the matter? You know that if you cut us again, you’ll only blind yourself once more!” Resh howled tauntingly, arching her back as she howled again.

Above her, Rina smiled. “Actually, you’re mistaken.”

Resh narrowed her eyes as Rina ran a hand along her sword. The daemon hissed quietly, bracing herself for treachery.

“Emperor above, guide my blade! Let my strikes ring true; my aim be just; my blade burn with your glory!”

With that proclamation, Rina’s sword caught alight, and she dove from the sky to slam a hammer blow into Resh.

Too stunned to counter, Resh could only dodge as Rina’s full form slammed into the ground. How in the hell was Rina able to pull that off?

The daemon cursed under her breath, swinging her tail around in a low circle to buy her some space. For good measure, Resh triggered a muscle in her tail to fire off the spikes, causing Rina to take a few steps back in alarm.

“What sorcery is this?” Resh hissed lowly, dropping to a crouch to pounce at the angel.

“Can’t give away all my secrets.” Rina winked, twirling the blade in her hands expertly.

The move was showy, overconfident, and a complete mistake. Rina realized this a moment too late as Resh whipped her lower arms forward, the pincers flying from her body. Caught off-guard, Rina had no defense for them pinching around her burning blade; tearing it from her grasp.

Rina only had to ponder how this was possible for a moment—Resh’s pincers were connected to her body via thin tentacles. The angel scowled, her bladed wings snipping them from the daemon’s wrists. Still, the damage had been done, and Resh advanced on the hapless angel.

“What’s the matter? You can’t possibly hope to defeat us with wings alone, pitiful man-thing. Surrender and we may spare your form yet.” Resh hissed as she forced a pair of scythes to slide out from the stumps of her lower arms. She’d planned for losing her pincers, and these would give her a definitive edge over the angel.

Sure enough, Rina looked to quail before Resh, and the daemon hissed again with laughter. Evidently, surrender wasn’t an option to the woman. In that case, no mercy would be given. Resh swept forward, both of her arms spread wide to be brought down on the angel and slice her in three.

Only Rina wasn’t as timid as Resh had thought. Instead of dying like a weakling, Rina ducked low, her wings flaring out to cut at the scythes. Resh smiled and simply unlocked some of the extra joints in her arms, letting the scythes drop lower and cut the feathered appendages from Rina’s body.

Resh could have aimed for a fatal blow, but this was a good deal more fun. The daemon planned to play with her food, after all. “What’s the matter? Unarmed; no wings! Who do you call on now?” She hissed arrogantly.

Rina’s response was a savage punch to Resh’s head, followed by a low sweep to her legs. Time seemed to slow, allowing Resh to remember her mistake: Rina’s original form was a mixed martial artist. Then Rina’s elbow slammed into Resh’s gut, a loud crack marking the end of several of the daemon’s ribs.

Rina grinned mercilessly as she followed that blow with a pair of hammer strikes to Resh’s arms, breaking them with ease. Extra joints might have seemed like a good idea, but against an opponent whose normal punches were bolstered by heavy armor...

Another crunch marked the shattering of Resh’s throat, and the daemon could only gurgle as Rina finally stomped her boot through her opponent’s head, ending her life. Rina smiled with satisfaction, turning to pick up her sword and sever Resh’s head from her body for good measure.

But before she could fully turn, Resh’s remaining taloned hand swept out, pulling her low. “You didn’t think we’d really keep our brain in our head, did you?” The daemon hissed through broken teeth, rolling her body atop Rina’s.

“Victory is ours.” Resh wetly chuckled, swiping her talons to open Rina’s throat. The demon hissed as her quarry died, the victory a little soured by needing to use deceit. Then again, that was the Tzeentchi aspect of her body... A body that was in need of some serious repair.

 

Ryan scowled as he came out from the Venn machine, his eyes narrowing at the healed daemon before him. “All right, you win.” He said sourly, crossing his arms as he looked at Resh.

“Oh?” Resh chuckled, her talons hands crossed under her ample bosom. Then she blinked. “Um… What was it we won again? We might have forgotten…” If such a fearsome beast could look sheepish, she certainly did.

Ryan’s jaw fell slack and he looked at the creature in disbelief. “Are you serious?”

“A little.” Resh tapped a finger against her jaw. “We occasionally find it hard to separate Venned life from real life.”

“Psychic Mastery Levels!” Ryan exclaimed, tossing his hands in the air.

“Oh!” Resh clicked her pincers. “Yes, we were just trolling.”

Ryan opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. When no retort escaped them, he settled on the next thing that came to his mind. “Get another Volunteer Venntendant. We’re going in for another round.”