"...so for a last proof that this turkey is indeed our friend Josh, he'll answer my questions. Josh-" Sean looked at the turkey, "-if that's really you, gobble three times and flap your wings." 

Cheerfully, Josh gobbled three times and flapped his wings. Sean nodded and then took a deep breath. "Okay. After we have clarified this, we'll come to business. By now, you have probably deduced that the turkey you have just eaten was, in fact, our friend Josh. That's right, he has volunteered to become our Thanksgiving meal. Which means that now you will see me butchering him so that Danielle can later on conjure the hopefully delicious dinner you have been enjoying. And don't worry, I'm not sure if you're aware of the fact or not, but a Venned person can't die. So while Josh will soon be roasting in Danielle's oven, he'll be back alive in eight hours." 

Josh acknowledged this exclamation with another happy gobble, but deep inside he suddenly felt a little bit anxious. Actually, that's really crazy... he thought a bit shaken. He had been so focused on the later stages of his prank that he had totally displaced the necessity which would precede these. He was actually a turkey, standing in a slaughterhouse, an animal to be killed and then eviscerated for further consumption, to become simple food. It somehow felt... degrading. And scary. Suddenly he had an image of himself lying in a supermarket's fridge in front of his mental eye, a whole turkey without head and legs, just one of dozens of other slaughtered turkeys, to be bought and consumed by a customer. 

Don't chicken out now. Josh thought and grinned inwardly at the wordplay. It'll only be a few more minutes of unpleasantness and then you won't feel anything anyway. Come on, you've been so looking forward to your friends' faces. 

He looked up and met Sean's gaze. His friend's gaze was practically a beg for him to abort his plan, and that tipped the balance. Ha, you bet I have never chickened out of one of my pranks before! Josh snorted and flapped his wings, catapulting himself on the worktop, his feet's talons scraping and sliding over the smooth metal. It took him a few seconds to obtain a secure stand. Then he ruffled his feathers and looked around, taking in all the tools Sean had already readied for eviscerating him later on this table. 

The sight of the sharp knifes which would be used by his friend in a few moments to first end his (current) life and then remove his head, feet, intestines and so on caused a plummeting feeling in his stomach, but nonetheless, he mustered his courage and picked at one of the knifes with his beak, emitting inviting gobbles.

His friend sighed first and then gulped. "Okay, friends." he said towards the camera. "We have demonstrated to you that this turkey is indeed Josh, changed into the shape of a bird by the Venn Machine. But since he's a turkey and since today's Thanksgiving, he'll become our Thanksgiving dinner. As you can see, he's already looking forward to being slaughtered like a normal turkey by me shortly. Isn't that right, Josh?" Josh forced himself to acknowledge with a loud purr. He'd asked Sean to say these sentences before he'd get to work, since he'd imagined that this would leave an outstanding impression with his friends who would watch the video. 

Now though he realized that it was, in fact, leaving an outstanding impression on him, in the form of fear bubbling up deep in his mind. But he'd come so far already, he'd pull the whole thing through, and therefore he forced himself to stand still and wait for Sean to begin. 

His friend took a cable fixer with one hand and grabbed both his avian feet with another. In the next moment, Josh was hanging upside down from Sean's hands and felt how the cable fixer tied his feet together. Sean had explained to him the exact steps of butchering a turkey, so he had expected this, but now that he was dangling upside down in the air, he suddenly felt really helpless. 

Sean carried him through the barn and then suspended him from a hook in the ceiling. Josh was still upside down, and below him, he could see a large canister which exuded an overpowering smell of blood. His turkey instincts wanted him to panic, but he battled them down firmly. Nonetheless, his eyes were fixated on the knife which Sean had in his hand now. 

The certainty, that in a few minutes he would be 'dead' (although only for a few hours) had something very unsettling and had he still been able to swallow like a human, he'd have done this. Instead, he simply forced himself to stay motionless. That's actually... mind-boggling... he thought numbly while he hung from ceiling. He was suddenly hyper-aware of his surroundings, of his body, felt every feather and every wisp of wind. I'm really just an ordinary animal short of being slaughtered now...

Sean stepped closer and bowed down to him. "You don't have to do this." he whispered, probably to prevent from his sentence being recorded. "Simply gobble once and I'll let you down and change you back." 

A surprisingly large part of Josh wanted to do exactly this, but he kept himself under control. No. he thought, That will be my biggest prank and I will NOT abort it on the finishing line. Therefore he kept quiet. He knew what would be coming next. Sean would use his knife to slice his jugular vein and carotid artery, and he'd bleed to death in a matter of minutes. 

Sean waited for another twenty seconds and then sighed. "Okay." he said. "Then I'll start now. We'll see each other in a little more than seven hours then." 

Despite hanging upside down, Josh managed a nod, and Sean's hand came forward, firmly fixating his head. His friend seemed to hesitate for a few seconds, the delay doing nothing at all to suppress Josh's qualms, and then he pressed the knife against his neck. Josh braced himself for the pain, but surprisingly, there was none. Instead he felt a chilling coldness all over his throat. Then Sean's hand released him and he stepped away. 

Josh just wondered if something had gone wrong when he felt something warm dripping down his neck. In a matter of seconds, the leakage became a steady stream and as some of the liquid flowed over his beak, he tasted blood. His blood. Josh's gaze swerved down into the canister, where it dabbled into a large puddle. Then he looked up again towards Sean who was staring at him with wide eyes. Josh wanted to give his friend a gobble of encouragement, to show him that he was still okay with this, but instead he only managed a faint gurgle. 

His vision was becoming narrower and he felt dizzy, lighter. So this is what dying feels like...? a part of his mind reflected numbly and now, finally, his instincts took over. Sean had warned him that this could happen, but it nonetheless surprised Josh. His turkey instincts felt that he was in mortal danger, and the panicked bird took over, flapping his wings violently. 

Josh wanted to battle his body into submission again but then felt how his flaps were already becoming weaker and weaker. Shortly, he didn't even have the power to raise his head anymore and stared unfocused down into his blood. Somehow, he felt really calm suddenly. That's interesting... he contemplated while sleepiness started to cloud his mind, a few seconds before I was panicking, but now I'm feeling so... detached. I wouldn't have thought that dying feels so... light... it's almost like... 

He didn't finish the thought. Everything became moot, his injury, the prank, everything. There was only peace. His breathing became shallower and his heartbeat weaker. And then, both stopped altogether.   


As Sean saw Josh starting to flap violently, like all the other turkeys he had slaughtered during his life, he wanted to abort the whole thing. But of course it was already too late, no matter what he did now, Josh's temporary turkey body would be dead in a few minutes. And therefore he simply forced himself to wait. It had cost Sean tremendous efforts to inflict the life-ending injury on Josh. He had butchered many turkeys in his life. But those had been dumb animals. He had never butchered one which had stared back at him out of intelligent eyes, fully aware of what would soon happen to it. That this specific turkey actually was his friend had made it even harder. 

Josh's death struggle, though, had been exactly the same like that of any other turkey whose life had been ended in this barn. After the cut had been placed, he'd looked back at him out of surprised, avian eyes while his life was flowing out of his body and pouring in the canister below him. And after some time, the flapping had started, the turkey's last, desperate struggle to avert the inevitable. 

It didn't take long until the flapping became weaker and after a couple of minutes, Josh hung limply from the hook. Sean waited again that time before he went slowly forwards, taking in the sight of his friend. The bird in front of him was clearly dead, hanging motionless and without breathing in the air, only a tiny trickle of blood flowing from the large gash in its neck. 


Slowly, Josh realized that 'dying' while being Venned had a catch. He'd expected to simply lose consciousness and regain it when he'd change back. Instead he hadn't. His turkey body had become numb, and there had been some kind of 'transfer' - suddenly, he wasn't feeling like a living being anymore. Which wasn't surprising, after all he couldn't move a single inch of his body and he was neither breathing nor was his heart beating. 

No, he definitely didn't feel being alive anymore, but different. As compensation for Danielle's help with some of his Venn-based pranks, she'd changed him into her dress for a couple of nights out in the town. And this was feeling exactly the same like being her dress had felt. With the distinction that he was still able to see. Somehow, his eyes had stayed open as he'd 'died', and now he saw his friend Sean stepping closer, taking in his dead shape. 

Oookay... Josh thought incredulously, So now I'm a dead, conscious turkey. Not quite what I had planned for... 

Out of the corner of one eye, he saw Sean shaking his head and then he felt how he was taken off the hook. In the next moment, his whole body was submerged in a waiting bucket of hot water and for the next few minutes, Josh didn't see anything anymore. 

Well... according to Sean, the water should be 140° F hot... he contemplated. I'm feeling it on my body, but it doesn't hurt. Apparently, dead turkey's can still feel but don't have pain receptors. he had to grin inwardly at the thought, although it was a nervous grin. That's quite reassuring when I'm thinking about what's going to follow...

This time, Josh didn't get a sinking feeling in his stomach at the prospect of being butchered. He was dead, after all, and dead turkeys apparently don't have control over their stomachs anymore. But when he'd devised his plan, he hadn't factored in that he'd practically be fully conscious when he'd be eviscerated, cooked and eaten. It was a good thing that he wasn't feeling any pain, but he still didn't look forward to the experience.

Then he felt himself being taken out of the bucket and deposited upon the table, his neck dangling down over the edge so that he couldn't see anything besides the floor. 

Plucking time I guess... he thought glumly. 

**************************************************

That Josh wasn't able to feel pain was a blessing, but it was still far from being enjoyable getting his feathers being plucked out one after the other. And lying directly on the cold metal, without his feathers to warm him, made him feel... naked. But then, Sean was grabbing his neck and for the second time this day, there was cold metal pressed against Josh's throat. 

Uh, oh... Josh thought as he felt a sawing motion penetrating deep into his body. It took some time during which his vision was madly swaying back and forth, and silently, Josh thanked that he couldn't get dizzy in his current state anymore. Still, the sensation of the saw rasping through his spine was very disturbing to say the least. The vibrations traveled through his whole body until, finally, something snapped and he 'saw' himself being moved. Or not. His body was still lying on the table. Motionlessly. His head, with his eyes, on the other hand, was in Sean's hands - and definitely further away from his body than his neck should have allowed. 

So that's how it feels to be beheaded... he gulped inwardly at the entirely unnatural movements his head suddenly made. 

Sean stared into Josh's dead eyes for a few seconds, and Josh wished that he could somehow tell his friend that he was still conscious. But since he was only a carcass now, and a beheaded one to boot, he couldn't - and therefore had to wait for the perils to come. Sean seemed to ponder for a moment, eventually sighed, shook his head and then, Josh suddenly felt himself flying through the air. Or rather, his head was flying through the air. His body was still safely on the table. In the next moment, his head impacted against a large barrel's metal and then tumbled to its bottom.

I can't believe it... Josh thought numbly while one one of his eyes looked at the ceiling and the other at the ground. He has cut off my head and thrown me into the garbage bin like any normal turkey leftovers! Somehow, I've imagined the whole thing differently... 

**************************************************

Still a bit incredulous, Sean looked at the garbage bin into which he had just deposited Josh's head. It was the natural thing to do with a slaughtered turkey, but barely an hour ago, he had looked into this turkey's intelligent, alive eyes, listening to its beak happily gobbling confirmation that it did indeed house his friend's Josh's mind. For all intents and purposes, it was Josh's head. It had been a living, sentient being which was his friend less than an hour ago and now he was eviscerating it like it was another dumb animal to be consumed by humans. It simply felt wrong that he was treating it like any normal turkey's head. 

Drop it! he ordered himself while fighting down nausea, It's only temporary and he wanted this. So simply treat him... it now like any of the other turkeys you've slaughtered over the years!

Doggedly, he forced himself to continue working on the turkey, proceeding with cutting off its feet.


Sean contemplated the turkey which was submerged in the boiling water. It looked exactly like all those other turkeys he had prepared or seen in the supermarket, and in fact, its rich, fat meat looked downright delicious. 

That this turkey was, or rather had been his best friend Josh was absolutely unthinkable. And yet it was true. Slowly, he raised the cooking-ready turkey up after the final rinsing and presented it to the camera. "As you can see, I've finished slaughtering and eviscerating Josh." he said hoarsely. "Right now I'm cooking him to make sure that his meat will stay tender. And after that, I'll deliver him to Danielle where he will be roasted and then served to dinner." 

Then he boxed the camera and started collecting his stuff. Once Josh would be cooked, he'd put him into a plastic bag and then drive to Danielle, delivering her the fresh turkey. Afterwards, he'd go home and edit the video for Josh's great gig this evening.