Trust Machines - Morning After
The smell of coffee and cooking pancakes wafted on the air. A cute twentysomething guy was cooking breakfast for two and keeping an eye on the bedroom door.
The figure that emerged was not what he was expecting. A broad-shouldered man opened the door, then continued buttoning his shirt. “Morning, Carl. Thanks for a lovely night.”
“What, you’re G... a guy?”
“I know, I know. I’ve insulted your masculinity, yadda yadda yadda. I’ll be going.”
“Just like that? You don’t want pancakes?” Carl asked, with the very faintest hint of a grin.
The broad-shouldered man stopped and stared at Carl in puzzlement. Then he sniffed at the air. “Those smell really good.”
“That’s the maple syrup.”
“I love maple syrup...”
“I know... I mean, who doesn’t?” Carl served up two plates, and they sat down at the kitchen table, facing each other.
“So I’m guessing your name’s not actually Gloria.”
The other guy ducked his head. “Nope. I’m Gary.”
“You made a really convincing girl.”
“Thanks. I’ve had some practice.”
Carl’s eyes widened just a touch. “Really? You turn into a girl and pick up guys in bars on a regular basis?”
“Well, a few times. The reaction I got the first time I did this was just so damned funny that I can’t help myself. I deliberately look for guys trying to play all macho to puff themselves up.”
Carl snickered, drawing an odd look from Gary. “Was I really that bad?”
Gary looked Carl over. “All a put on? You don’t seem at all like that swaggering guy from the bar.”
“Yeah, that’s not really me,” Carl said with a grin. “So what got you started on this crazy idea, anyway?”
“My best friend, Chloe. I was whining to her about how hard it is to pick up girls, and we got to arguing about who had it worse. She said if I thought it was so easy, I should just get Venned and go to a bar as a girl, to see what it was like.”
“I re... right. She sounds like a firecracker. Why don’t you date her?”
Gary smiled fondly as he looked into the distance, reminiscing. “I’ve thought about it. I want to, but... I’m kind of afraid to ask. We’ve been best friends since grade school, I’d hate to ruin that.”
“Ah.” Carl looked taken aback. “Is she cute?”
“Yeah. She’s a total tomboy, even at 23, but you should have seen her at prom... It was like a fairy godmother had put a spell on her. She could be a real looker if she just tried.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know... a little makeup, some cute dresses. It wouldn’t take much.”
“Hmf.”
“What? It’s not like I haven’t done it myself. You saw how I looked last night, that wasn’t all the Venn Machine. If you don’t put at least a little effort in, the guys don’t look at you.”
“Oh,” said Carl softly. “Kinda wish someone had told me that about five years ago.”
“What?”
Carl looked up at the kitchen clock and sighed. “You’ll find out in about three... two... one... Huh, the clock must be fast.”
Suddenly Carl wasn’t sitting in front of Gary any more. He was replaced by a shorter, slim woman wearing the same robe. She had the same rumpled brown hair, too, and the same chocolate-coloured eyes, except hers were brimming with tears.
“Chloe?”
“Surprise.” She couldn’t look Gary in the eyes. “I didn’t ... I mean how could I have known?”
Gary rushed around the table and gave her a hug. “Oh, Chloe. I... Why are you crying?”
“Because I’ve gone and made a mess of everything,” she said through her tears. “I don’t want to lose you as a friend over... all this.”
“And why would you?”
“You said it.” Chloe sniffed, and leaned against her old friend. “Sex gets in the way of being friends. And we kinda had sex last night.”
“We more than kinda had sex. We had glorious, wonderful sex. You were amazing.”
“But I’ve never done any of that before!” protested Chloe. “I just tried to... yknow, do stuff I liked when I play with myself.”
“Wait... you’re a virgin? But... I thought...”
“I could never get the guys to look at me. Took a guy turned girl to tell me how. Go figure. I fail as a woman.”
Gary cracked half a grin. “You made a pretty fine guy. What do you think, Carl... would you like to see Gloria again?”
Chloe’s smile was answer enough, then she started to look uncertain again. “You’d... really do that? I thought guys hated the idea of being a woman, or especially... you know, being seen as liking that stuff.”
Gary shrugged. “Insecure guys, maybe. But I’ll tell you a deep, dark secret.” He leaned in close to whisper. “I really liked being Gloria.”
“Good,” said Chloe. “‘Cause even though he got shot down all the time, I liked being Carl.” She looked up at Gary, and smiled uncertainly. “This is going to be a weird relationship, isn’t it.”
“Yep.”
“Then why are you smiling?”
“You remember what we used to say in high school, right?”
Together they said, “Normal is boring,” and broke down in giggles.