Trust Machines - Debbie Does Whatever #150A

The video flicks on at an usual time.  The second surprise is that Jenny is in front of the computer.  The third is that she’s actually human for once.

“Hey guys.  I hope some of you find this.”  She lifts a professional looking video camera.  “Let’s go see what Debbie gets up to on her days off.”

The video swaps to the feed from the camera, and Jenny walks it out of the bedroom and down the hall.  Faint giggling can be heard in the distance.  “Shh, be very, very quiet.  We’re hunting...”

The bathroom door opens, and the camera swoops in to hover over the claw-foot bathtub that dominates the room.  It’s full of water, and racing around inside of it are two mermaids that look to be about four inches long.  One has a purple tail, the other has a bright green one.  There’s an island floating in the middle of the tub, it looks like a children’s toy that’s been augmented with some real sand and tiny beach umbrellas.

Lurking under the island is a grey form that suddenly darts out toward one of the mermaids.  With a mock shriek, she darts away from the enormous shark that chases after her.  The mermaids giggle and dart this way and that, flitting in to tag the shark then racing away once more.  Acrobatic leaps through the air keep them far from its snapping jaws.

In the middle of one of those jumps, the purple-tailed mermaid’s eyes go wide as she finally spots Jenny and the camera.  She bobs back up to the surface, shaking a fist up at her.  “Jenny!  No cameras in the bathroom!  You know the rules!”  She’s shouting, but her tiny voice makes her sound cute and silly, rather than angry.

Jenny chuckles.  “Aw, c’mon.  This is way too cute to miss.”

“You better not be filming!  Jenny!”

“Better yet.  This is live.  Say hi to your fans!”

“Jenny!  You...”  Whatever Debbie was going to say is cut off as the great white comes up behind her and swallows her whole.

“Elliot!” shouts Jenny.  “No fair using me as a distraction.”  She reaches into the tub and picks the shark up by the tail.  A few shakes later, Debbie goes flying out of the shark’s mouth and makes a perfect dive into the water.  

The shark twists around in Jenny’s hand to face the camera.  “Sorry about that, mate,” he says in a cheesy Aussie accent.  “Mermaids are friends, not food?”

“Right.”  Jenny drops him back into the water.

By this point, Debbie’s up on the island, sitting on a tiny little towel.  “What’s the big idea, anyway?”

“Oh come on, you three were just so damn cute I had to go get the camera.  Then I saw there were people in chat, so I figured...”

“What?  But it’s between shows.  Chat’s usually dead off nights.”

“Yeah, but tonight’s your one year anniversary for the show.”

“Oh!  Is it really?”  Debbie takes a bit to think about it.  “Crud, you’re right.  We should do something special, but after last night, I’m kinda burned out.  Are they up for more mermaid acrobatics?”

Jenny takes a moment to reply.  “Seems so.  Oh, I do have something special from the in-box, too.”

Debbie grins, and shrugs.  “Sure, why not.  Gina should be here for it, too.  Hey, Gina!”

Jenny sighs, and picks up the shark by it’s tail again.  A green mermaid tail is sticking out of its mouth.  “What?” the shark asks, muffledly.

“Spit her out.”

“Wheeee!” Gina goes flying, and races around the tub once more before joining Debbie on the beach.

“Oh, before we get to the mail, there were a bunch of questions for you, Gina.”

Gina shrugs, flapping her tailfin as well.  “Sure.  What’s on everyone’s mind?”

“Mostly they want to know what it was like to be the city Debbie was rampaging through.”

Gina grins hugely.  “OH!  Yeah, that was a total blast, especially the ending.”

Debbie rolls her eyes.  “You would focus on that.”

Gina whaps her with her tail.  “Come on!  I barely ever get to shtup you properly any more, it’s all girl on girl.  Not that I’m complaining, but...  That rocked.”

Jenny persists with the question.  “But what was the rest like?”

“Being walked on was... eh, mostly special ‘cause I knew who it was walking on me.  Otherwise I couldn’t feel much.  The stomping of the buildings, though... that was cool.  Hard to describe, though.  Crunchy and crumbly and... oh, I know.  Imagine you’re eating the biggest, crunchiest, loudest potato chip ever.  And imagine that you’re the chip.  That’s close.”

Jenny chuckles.  “So if you’ve been eaten, you’ll have some idea.”

“Yeah!  Definitely worth a try, by the way.”

“OK.  Time for the mail,” says Jenny.  A large purple cylinder comes into the camera’s view.  It has a long string attached to one end, and a ring on the end of the string.

Debbie looks up at it.  “The colour’s promising.  Who is it?”

“It’s ‘Hyacinth’,” says Jenny.  “She arrived early, and wouldn’t fit you guys, so I popped over to the Venn Machine and we came up with a special surprise.  Pull!”  Jenny wiggles the cylinder, sending the ring toward Debbie.

Debbie grabs the ring, and throws all her weight against it. “Oof.  This is hard work!”  She tries again, and suddenly the cylinder bursts open.  Purple confetti sprays everywhere, and starts to slowly drift down on the air currents.  Debbie giggles, and holds out her arms to embrace the flakes landing on her.

Where the confetti hits the water, it melts into streamers of purple, fizzing away.  Before long, the water is full of small bubbles, growing quickly into larger ones.

“Bubble bath?” asks Debbie incredulously.

“Yup.  Have fun!”

Debbie whoops, and dives into the water.  Gina follows shortly thereafter.  Soon, both mermaids and the shark are churning through the water, making even more bubbles.  The bubbles hide them when they dive under the surface, and make plumes of spray as they leap out again.

The video of bubble-dancing mermaids carries on for some time.