I’m sorry to burst into your office unannounced Humphrey, but something really urgent has come up at the cab-in-net meeeet…

 

Good afternoon Prime Minister. Some urgent matter of state has arisen?

 

What, err, yes indeed. Very urgent. But never mind that, who is this? My word you are a dark horse Humphrey. I know we’ve made some wonderful reforms lately but do you think the hallowed offices of Whitehall are the place for, err, young mistress entertainment.

 

Young mistresses in Whitehall Prime Minister? An intriguing but still unwise concept. You know how the press are always looking for any whiff of scandal. But surely it is perfectly acceptable for me to have my wife join me in my office now and again.

 

Your wife? You mean this is, err, Mrs Humphrey?

 

Indeed it is Prime Minister. And does she not look beautiful as she goes about her wifely duty of brightening up my day in the office?

 

Well of course she does Humphrey. But how did you transform her into… I mean, not that I wish to be unkind to Mrs Humphrey’s appearance and age, but…

 

She’s only fifty four Prime Minister.

 

Fifty four? But so beautiful and shapely. And her proportions…

 

Well Prime Minister I have been working tirelessly on her since our reforms gave me the legal authority to begin. It is amazing what can be achieved if the subject is sufficiently motivated, or in this case not given a choice.

 

It certainly is Humphrey. I wonder. Could I make Mary look like this?

 

I would imagine so Prime Minister. Indeed, if I might be so bold, I would guess that you could achieve even more startling results, your wife being at a somewhat better starting point.

 

Oh tell me how Humphrey. Tell me how.

 

Well of course it all begins with her shape Prime Minister. And to achieve the perfect shape all we need is a perfectly shaped corset, and perhaps a hydraulic lacer if the lucky lady’s own shape is far from the ideal. The corset I have used here encases her body from chest to thigh and forces her into the beautiful, feminine hourglass you see before you. It has padding in certain frontal areas that need to stick out more and of course it mercilessly squeezes in those areas that need to stick out less. It is rigid enough to control her posture too. There’s absolutely no slouching possible in this corset. And by being laced tightly around her thighs it keeps her limited to delicate feminine steps while accentuating the curve of her bottom which protrudes, and indeed gets rather squeezed out through a cut-out at the rear of the corset. The cut-out also allows enough movement for her to bend over which is useful if I feel the need to remove the locking shield and enjoy my husbandly pleasures. Once the corset is correctly fitted, a nice, snug-fitting dress such as the one you see here Prime Minister provides an image of the ideal female form.

 

Oh, indeed it does Humphrey. What you have come up with here, women will rejoice in and hail you as a god.

 

You think so Prime Minister?

 

Oh I know so Humphrey. It is so unfortunate for the fair sex that they have such a short window in life in which they can be naturally beautiful. There they are in their early twenties, all fresh and lovely, and then boom! Before they know it, they’re wrinkly, saggy, shapeless and unhappy. What you’ve got here will keep them beautiful for many, many more years. They will love you for it.

 

Hmmm. Well I hadn’t really thought of it that way Prime Minister.

 

I can see you now, on the cover of Vogue Humphrey. ‘The man who defeated the ageing process’.

 

Well I think it takes a little more than a corset to defeat ageing completely Prime Minister, even if it is a rather comprehensive corset such as this.

 

And I can see that you’ve used a little more than just a corset on Mrs Humphrey. The boots for instance. I’m guessing those laces are very tight to squeeze the legs into being a little thinner.

 

Indeed Prime Minister. And of course heels of the proper height are essential do you not think?

 

And you’ve got them spot on Humphrey. I’m guessing five inches?

 

Five and a quarter Prime Minister. I believe that to be the optimum for my wife’s size feet. Any more and the toes tuck under the foot too much and look less elegant. And of course any less is a wasted opportunity for beautifulness.

 

Mrs Humphrey’s feet are indeed beautiful Humphrey. But I think I can see that your real genius is a little higher up perhaps?

 

You mean her arms Prime Minister? Well of course an armbinder keeps her out of so much trouble and has the added bonus that if it is a correctly tight fitting one that keeps the elbows pressed together then it has the most pleasing effect on her posture, keeping the shoulders back and the chest forward, almost as if she’s presenting her assets for inspection don’t you think?

 

Well indeed Humphrey. But I was thinking a little higher up still.

 

Ah, you mean her head Prime Minister.

 

I do.

 

Yes, well if we are to keep the picture of youth and vitality going, we can’t very well keep an old, wrinkly face on show can we.

 

Indeed not. And I think it was the hood that made it so hard for me to recognise Mrs Humphrey when I came in.

 

Well I think you simply needed a little more time to make out her facial features Prime Minister. The hood is very tight and the shape of her face is quite visible, it’s just that all the wrinkles are covered up. And I have found an added bonus in that the hood also covers her eyes and that seems to make her extremely docile and compliant.

 

And I see now that you’ve been very considerate in giving her two little holes under her nose to breathe through.

 

Indeed Prime Minister. I think they could be a little smaller though. That would look nicer and also aid a compliant attitude I would think. And of course another added bonus of the hood is it makes it much more comfortable for her to wear her penetration-preventing bridle. The leather keeps the harsh metal insulated from her face.

 

And the two look truly marvellous together. Leather and metal, a winning combination Humphrey. Just between you and me though, that penetration barrier, it’s more of a penetration enforcer isn’t it?

 

Well I took a leaf out of your book Prime Minister and there is a replica of myself filling my lucky wife’s mouth. And there’s a thick foam rubber seal to prevent all that unsightly dribbling. I do have a little confession to make though Prime Minister. I have cheated a little.

 

Cheated Humphrey?

 

Well the impressive blonde ponytail you see erupting from the top of the hood, it’s not actually hers. I had it done by a wig maker.

 

Ah Humphrey, that would be why I didn’t recognise Mrs Humphrey when I came in.

 

An easy thing to be caught out by Prime Minister.

 

And how has Mrs Humphrey taken to her new look?

 

Well she is agreeable now that we have an arrangement Prime Minister.

 

An arrangement?

 

Yes, I have arranged that she only leaves her new basement residence when she is ‘correctly attired’ as she is now. And since I have installed some interesting new equipment in her basement residence, anything that allows her out for a while is agreeable.

 

Oh, very clever Humphrey.

 

I’m thinking of having a treadmill installed in my office to give her something to do. I think she does get a little bored just standing all day and the exercise will do her good while also providing me with a little entertainment. Now, was there some urgent cabinet matter Prime Minister?

 

Err, yes I think there was, but in all the excitement I seem to have forgotten what it was.