Story 3 - The Severing

I hung in my cage in darkness for several years waiting for death to ingest me and cast me atom by atom into the void.

I then awoke in my apartment to the day after the Doll Monsters had arrived, sprawled halfway out the open door of my cage. I unlocked my wrists, unbuckled my gag, and fell off my dinner table onto the floor where I lay, too sore and tired to move. My head was on fire, my tongue swollen and parched.

Chapter 1:

"Call in sick, my love," Lisianski whispered.

I made the phone call, then stumbled to my closet and pulled out a special box from my closet.

I was so tired. My soul was consumed with blackness. My thoughts were limp and dragging. They stole Laysan! I was ready to die. I would gladly die. I pulled a blindfold from the special box. It is the kind that you might wear in order to sleep on an overnight flight. I wearily crawled back to the cage on the table and tenderly shoved myself back inside, gagging and cuffing myself as I did. But not until I had wrapped the blindfold over my eyes and locked the door closed.

I did not want to see the world anymore. I wanted to hang in darkness again for as many years as it would take to render me invisible and scattered.

"Sleep, my poor little girl," Lisianski whispered.

<>--+-

I called in sick the next day too, and welcomed the weekend, content to never leave the cage again. Lisianski made me get out occasionally to clean the cage; to clean myself. Otherwise I slept.

Finally early on Sunday morning, I dreamed clearly and crisply for the first time in days. I was in a room with a large bed. Laysan lay, clothed in her chains. I called her name and climbed up next to her. She barely raised her head, seemingly as groggy as I had been - her flesh sporting a variety of cuts and bruises.

"You're alive! Are you ok?"

She did not move. So, I lay next to her and wrapped her body and chains in my arms. "My love! I am so sorry!"

I saw the briefest hint of a smile cross her lips and she exhaled a silent sigh. I snuggled as closely as I could and held her tired body. We lay together for several minutes until she conjured the energy to move her arm. She lightly gripped my wrist and pushed it down towards her crotch. Tears sprung to my eyes as I felt her weakness, her trembling effort. She pushed my fingers to her crotch until I realized that I was touching something cold and hard.

I sat up quickly and saw what she wanted me to see. A heavy chain trailed from her vagina and extended across the sheets and over the edge of the bed. Her chain was not attached to her lips or anything; it was pushed up inside her somehow. My first reaction was to yank it from her, but as I reached for the cold links, I thought better of it. I didn't want to injure her. Instead, I climbed across the bed following the links down the side, and under the bed where they disappeared into the darkness.

Oh, my poor Laysan! I'm so sorry!

<>--+-

"There never were any secret codes or patterns, right Lisianski? This task to substitute emojis is just bullshit. Why don't you tell me the truth?" I cried.

"I have been telling you the truth the whole time, subGrrl. You just refuse to listen," Lisianski replied.

"No! You are still lying to me!" I cried. "How can I possibly find the key to saving the people of the world by staring at screens full of BDSM emojis? That's just bullshit and you know it! I'm just a lonely, sad, lesbian lost along life's highway. There is nothing that I can do to save the world! This is all bullshit! Go away! Fuck off and leave me alone! My miserable life was so much more bearable before you came around again."

"Now, now, subGrrl. Let it out," Lisianski said quietly.

"You wanted me for some evil purpose, but I didn't even live up to your standards. Surprise, surprise! Then you wreck my world and steal Laysan, the one thing that is all mine! The one thing that I love! I hate you, Lisianski! You're a parasite! You will suck me dry until I die and, truthfully, I can't wait! Cause when I go, so will you!"

"My poor child," Lisianski whispered.

"Don't you care that I will kill you by dying!" I cried.

"You have the biggest heart, subGrrl. But you have forgotten that it is inside you. Instead you think that it is something that you have to cart around like a heavy car fender or an old soggy, leafless oak limb. Useless. Hopeless," Lisianski paused for a moment. "But instead, your heart is a fast, sturdy bicycle with holes in the tires. Find some patches, subGrrl. Fill the tires with love. Ride like the wind. Wear your heart. Let it take you where you choose."

"Ride like the wind? You won't even let me out of this fucking cage!" I screamed.

"Put your feet on the pedals, subGrrl. Learn to balance. When you start to fall too far one way, you need to learn to lean towards the other. When you start to hate too much, seek a little love. When you find yourself overtaken by infatuation, temper it with action. Choose, subGrrl. Know yourself and choose."

"I DO know myself, Lisianski!" I cried. "I'm a certifiable basket case."

"Now, it is you who is lying, subGrrl"

"So, then tell me about these secret codes! Tell me why you need to steal Laysan from me!"

"The secret codes," Lisianski explained, "are your feelings. The world needs someone who can show people their feelings. I failed you subGrrl. I do not have the power to make you feel again. But where I failed Laysan has succeeded. The world needs Laysan."

Lisianski is right. Laysan is love. But she is mine, and I need her at the moment. I slumped against the wall of the cage, my blindfold heavy with salty tears, exhausted.

"We're having a bit of trouble with Laysan, though..." Lisianski whispered. "We're having trouble communicating with her."

I don't know why, but I felt a smile creep across my face. I tried to turn it to a frown as quickly as possible.

"You've got to help us, subGrrl," Lisianski continued. "You need to get her to tell you a story. Something that you can post and expose to the world. Something that we can use to evaluate whether she is really the one that we are looking for..."

"Why should I help you?"

"Because she is strips of rubber and she is air and she is cement and grease. ...And you want to ride."

I lay quietly for a while.

"Rest, subGrrl. Rest and dream," Lisianski whispered.

After a moment Lisianski began to sing.

Her shadow creeps along the wall.

Her shadow stretches thin and tall.

Her blade raised high above her head.

And from this world, those things you'd shed.

I couldn't help myself. I began to sing the lullaby along with Lisianski.

Sleep well my love in your bed chains.

Your wooden altar is so darkly stained.

Your limbs pulled and lightly strained.

She'll take away your worldly pain.

I settled further into the curve of my cage and let my muscles relax, letting Lisianski's voice flow through my brain.

Her blade is sharp. Her cut is sure.

She is the way, she is the cure.

So, lay down upon the altar frame

Bleed away your worldly pain...

Chapter 2:

I returned to work the next week, but I was steeped in melancholy. NemesisGirl seemed to be able to feel it. She eyed me occasionally with concern as I complied with our typical routine silently and unenthusiastically. Even when I did not have the ball in my mouth, I did not speak. And one morning, when I asked to go to the bathroom, NemesisGirl simply said to go ahead. I had not even realized that we had forgotten to lock my leash to the chair when I had arrived.

"My pet?" NemesisGirl asked one afternoon.

"Yes, Mistress," I responded.

"I need your help tomorrow night. Can you stay after work?" She was leaning over her desk, iteratively pressing each of her fingers to her thumb individually in a calm and orderly manner.

"Um... I think so. Let me check."

I picked up my desk phone and called my apartment. "Hello, Lisianski?" I said when the answering machine picked up. "I need to work late tomorrow. Can we reschedule that thing... you know... that we had planned?"

NemesisGirl watched with a single eyebrow raised slightly.

"I command you to stay late at work, silly Slave," Lisianski said in my head, laughing.

"Okay..." I hung up the phone, turned to NemesisGirl and faked a quick smile. "No problem."

"I didn't mean to break up your plans, pet..."

"Oh!" I interrupted. "That was just an acquaintance and it was just this thing... that we had planned... Easy to reschedule... No problem."

"No, subGrrl, I don't want to break up any plans you have with a special friend... I mean, if this Lisianski person is a special friend..."

"No! No! She's not a special friend... more like a cousin..." I stammered.

"Okay! So, this acquaintance cousin of yours won't mind."

"Um..." I looked at the floor. "No... I can stay..."

"Good!" NemesisGirl said, smiling broadly.

<>--+-

The next evening, I stayed at my desk as the other day workers shuffled off to their normal lives. NemesisGirl had promised that she would be back shortly and left me locked to my seat, barefoot. But now an hour had passed. Had she forgotten me? Shortly after the cleaning crew came through, I heard NemesisGirl shuffling down the aisle.

"Pizza pocket?" she asked, sniffing a plastic package covered in ice crystals.

"No, thank you," I said meekly.

"Yeah? Me neither! Hate those things! Reflux city." She knelt by my chair and unlocked the leash chain. "Can I see the leash?" she asked.

I began to pull the chain up through the collar of my sweater, feeling the links drag across my stomach.

"Why are you so sad, my pet?" she asked.

I stopped pulling on the chain for a second, mildly shocked that she would ask. I shrugged my shoulders and pulled the rest of the chain out. I presented NemesisGirl with the tangled handful of links. She shook the chain out, letting the links dangle down until they tickled the floor and ran her thumb along the chain over each small link seemingly looking for blemishes in the metal.

"Do you like being on my leash?" she asked.

I shrugged again and looked down at my lap. I wanted to scream, "No!" but I couldn't for some reason.

"I'm surprised that you have put up with it for so long," she said softly. "I thought that you'd revolt somehow."

"I didn't know that the leash was optional," I whispered.

NemesisGirl pulled on the leash and as one end was still locked to my collar I was forced to follow her fist until our faces were only inches apart. I could smell her breath, minty fresh. As for my own, I dared not breathe at all.

She leaned forward and brushed my lips with hers. Air whistled in through my nose as my body jerked involuntarily. She brushed my lips again and I closed my eyes. Her lips were so soft, so smooth, so simple and light. I wanted more of them, but they were gone.

I opened my eyes again and found NemesisGirl sitting back, still firmly holding my leash, smiling, studying my reaction. My face flushed with blood and I was swept up in a moment of embarrassment which forced me to look back down at the ground.

I felt a tug on my neck. NemesisGirl stood up and beckoned me to follow her. We left the safety of our cube and navigated the maze of corridors of the darkened office. I felt so small as I was pulled along behind her, furtively looking around for any late workers, praying no one would see me barefoot and chained like this. We came to a supply room door, and NemesisGirl pulled out a heavily keyed ring. She unlocked the door and led me inside.

Chapter 3:

We often refer to the room as a closet, but it is actually fairly large, with two rows of tall freestanding shelves laden with parts and papers and pens and other things. The light was off, so the room was only illuminated by an emergency bulb that automatically turned on in the absence of other light. As I looked down before me, I saw a mat of some sort folded neatly on the floor.

My heart was pounding with fear. I had no idea what NemesisGirl might want from me, but it did not seem work related. I was having trouble breathing and I gasped audibly when I could between tremors.

"Are you afraid?" NemesisGirl asked.

I looked up to see her face. She was watching me very closely. Her eyes seemed kinder than I had remembered. They were wide and hopeful and dark. I nodded slowly once or twice. Her mouth spread in a smile.

"Don't be. I won't hurt you. I promise."

I was about to try to ask what she wanted, but jumped suddenly when I heard a sound back in the darkness of the room beyond where NemesisGirl stood - a shuffling of feet perhaps, a tinkling of metal.

"Is there someone else here?" I asked straining to look into the shadows.

She wrinkled her brow for a second. "No. It's just you and me."

"I thought I heard..."

"Take off your clothes."

I looked at NemesisGirl, shocked. My heart was really beginning to pound. We stood looking at each other for an eternity. I gripped the bottom of my sweater in my right hand, but then let it go. I couldn't believe she wanted me to take off my clothes.

"I promise I won't even touch you, subGrrl. Take off your clothes for me."

Apparently on its own volition my hand had grasped the bottom of my sweater again and began to pull up. I jumped and yanked my hand away quickly though when I heard another shuffle in the darkness of the room.

"I heard someone!" I said.

"No, subGrrl, no one's here. I promise." To comfort me, she turned to look around the storage closet herself.

Fear grabbed my heart and a scream tried to erupt from within. For as she turned I saw a shadow behind her, short, but decidedly human. NemesisGirl stepped around the figure looking into the dark recesses of the room. Meanwhile the figure took another step towards me into the cone of light.

Laysan! It was Laysan! She stood smiling at me, wearing only her collar and chains and the vulgar tether that descended from her sex.

NemesisGirl stepped around between us. "See? There's nobody here but you and me, subGrrl. I promise. It's okay to be scared, but I want you to try to follow my commands. So, subGrrl, take off your clothes."

I looked over NemesisGirl's shoulder at Laysan, my lovely waking dream. She was nodding her head and motioning with her fists as though pulling open a coat. Trembling, I grabbed my sweater again and pulled it up over my head, the leash rattled through the neck as I pulled the garment away from me. NemesisGirl was smiling as she took it from my hand.

I reached behind me and unclasped my bra, letting the shoulder straps fall down my arms and my breasts drop free.

"Pet?" NemesisGirl prompted. I realized that I had frozen. I tucked my thumbs around the waistband of my skirt. I looked up at Laysan who continued to nod, smiling. I had already given NemesisGirl my panties earlier in the day, so this was it. I would be completely exposed. I pushed down and felt the cloth pool around my ankles.

NemesisGirl knelt down and picked up my skirt as I stepped out of it. Laysan stood still, smiling. The cool air of the office seemed to swirl about my naked skin. We go through our days with barely a thought about the caress of clothing - only really noticing their absence.

"Kneel on the mat," NemesisGirl commanded softly. Laysan nodded and pointed at the mat on the floor by glancing several times. I slowly dropped down onto my knees and sat back on my ankles.

NemesisGirl knelt before me, grabbing my leash as she did. She wrapped the end around the foot of a shelf and snicked a padlock closed. I would not be able to stand up until the padlock was reopened. I bent my head down, shivering with my hands covering my breasts.

NemesisGirl stepped around behind me and gently pulled at my arms. I looked up at Laysan who smiled and encouraged me with more nodding. Laysan quickly moved her own manacled arms around behind her back with a rattle. Indeed, there was a rattle behind me as well, and I felt cold metal wrap tightly around my wrists. When I pulled at them, I found that they were held together by a particularly short connector. Laysan continued to smile and comfort me by keeping my attention.

"These bells are so delicate," NemesisGirl said. I had no idea what she meant so I shot a look up at her as she danced around me again. I heard a gentle tinkling sound. She had two small bells in her hand. It took less than a second to realize that she meant to clamp the bells to my nipples.

"No!" I breathed, but it was such a whisper that I don't think that NemesisGirl even heard it. Laysan, meanwhile, had a finger extended across her lips beckoning me to keep silent.

My nipples hardly needed any stimulation. They were already hard and tight and the clamps fit on them with no problem. With each application I sucked in a bit of air, though truthfully, the gasp's source was more from the cold than the pinch. I've worn much tighter, much heavier.

On the other hand, as I sat trembling, the tiny bells tinkled and rang. Every breath, every adjustment, every shiver was broadcast into the room. I tried hard not to move and silence the damn things, but I needed air so badly, and my struggles to control my breathing only increased the bells' sway and displacement.

Laysan held her hands cupped over her heart. I looked at her audibly whimpering. She opened her hands and spread her arms dispersing her heart into the room. "Open your heart," she was telling me. But then she pulled her hands to her face and covered her eyes. Close my eyes?

I saw a flash of black cloth pass in front of my face. NemesisGirl knelt behind me and she brought a blindfold up to my eyes. With a ringing and jerking I dodged for a moment to see Laysan. She was blowing me a kiss as the cloth settled over my eyes. "Laysan!" I whimpered.

"Lights on? Don't worry, silly pet," NemesisGirl said as she tightened the blindfold behind my head. "I'll leave the lights on if you want me to."

I heard NemesisGirl stand. "Are you ok?"

Even my nodding made the bells ring.

"I need to take care of some business, pet. You'll be safe here. I promise. I'll be back. I'm going to give you an assignment to work on while I'm gone. Something to think about. You can give me an answer when I come back. Tell me, subGrrl. What does love mean? To you? What does love mean to you? Think about it..."

I heard the door to the supply room open, then close. I heard a key slide in the door knob and a bolt engaging locking me inside.

Chapter 4:

I sat trembling in the darkness of my blindfold, my wrists pulling involuntarily against their restraint, the bells hanging from my nipples ringing. How did I get here? My stomach was churning; my nerves somersaulting and twisting.

I was dying to know if Laysan was still in the room with me. I opened my mouth to call out to her, but stopped before the words fully formed. How would she answer me, voiceless as she was? Maybe she would place her hand on my head or brush her eyelashes against my cheek. But what if her tether prevented her from reaching me. Maybe she could rattle her chains and comfort me with a tinkling sound of her own. But would that be proof enough?

How did I know that I was alone in the room? Would a sound comfort me or upset me?

I pulled in a big breath and clamped my mouth shut causing a cacophony of tinkling bells. My entire body was jerking under stress. My head rising and dipping as I tried to calm myself.

Endless seconds stretched to minutes as I waited for NemesisGirl to return. How could she leave me here? I tried to create a rhythm in the report of the bells and then slow the rhythm as much as possible. It took a lot of concentration and a steady intake of air through my nose and out my mouth.

Why did I allow NemesisGirl to do this to me? Our wing of the office is quiet at night, but I work for a news-gathering organization. There were other people in the building. What if someone came looking for office supplies and found me here naked, handcuffed, chained to the floor? Sure, Laysan, my love, encouraged me to allow NemesisGirl to do this, but what does she know about the real world? After all, she thought that my dream world would keep her safe.

I couldn't think about getting caught here. I was so scared and stressed that I was shaking and certain that I would fall over on my side any second.

"Lisianski!" I whispered as quietly as I could. I didn't really want to talk to her, but I needed a familiar voice to calm me. "Lisianski?"

"Yes, subGrrl?" Lisianski replied.

"I'm scared," I admitted to her.

"I know, my love, but you will be fine. Relax..." she said.

"How do you know?" I asked.

Lisianski did not answer. I felt my anxiety growing again. I heard my anxiety growing as the bells began tinkling in earnest once again.

"Mistress?" I called out again to Lisianski.

"Yes, my love," she replied.

I was hyperventilating at this point. I thought that I would pass out. "Will you sing to me?" I asked between deep breaths. Lisianski started by humming a verse in her sweetest voice, but then began to sing.

"Don't waste your time with screaming, love

Don't waste your time with tears.

Gravity now stands between your soul

And the blade with which it'll be sheared."

I couldn't help myself but begin to sing quietly along with Lisianski as I trembled in my bonds waiting for NemesisGirl to return.

"Don't waste your time with dreaming, love

Cast them out into the air.

Gravity now stands above you, love

But Gravity does not care."

My blindfold, which had been collecting my tears, could carry no more and a small trickle slid down my cheek and onto my upper lip.

"The bone is the hardest, and then muscle.

By far, the easiest is the skin.

She'll help you open up your heart.

And then she will climb in."

I heard a key slide into the door's lock. My breath caught again and the bells descended again into chaos. I turned my head, listening as best I could. Please say something so that I know it is you, NemesisGirl... Mistress...

Chapter 5:

"Have you been working on your assignment, subGrrl?" NemesisGirl asked as soon as she had locked the supply room door. I assumed that she was sitting somewhere on the floor in front of me as I shook and the bells I wore tinkled.

"Tell me, my pet, what love means to you," she said softly.

Truthfully, I had completely forgotten about her little assignment. I did not have any kind of answer ready, so I sat, as quietly as I could as I struggled to calm my breathing again and tried to think up a valid answer.

"Do you know what love is, my pet?" NemesisGirl asked after an eternity.

What is love? What is love? I thought of my mother. That's love. But, I don't think that would be a good answer. My mother never made me sit blindfolded and naked. I had to think of something else. NemesisGirl calls me 'pet'. Pets are supposed to love their owners unconditionally. Actually, that seems true for dogs, but who knows about cats? Cats love you when they feel like loving you and that's it. That would be classified as conditional, I think.

"subGrrl?" NemesisGirl whispered.

Damn those fucking bells! How was I supposed to concentrate with them ringing so loudly? She put them there simply to prove how scared and nervous I was. Think! Think! What was the question? Love?

"subGrrl? Are you there?" NemesisGirl whispered again.

Oh, my god! She thinks I'm an idiot! If she only knew, she would realize that idiocy is the least of my problems. I wonder what she would feel like if she heard voices who actively stole her dream lovers.

"You seem to be proving a theory I have about you, my pet," NemesisGirl said. "There is something about you that completely prevents you from acting or doing or engaging. I can see why you were never able to become a journalist on your own. You freeze. Totally. Isn't that true, subGrrl?"

What does this have to do with journalism? You don't go to interview people bound naked on the floor with accursed bells dangling from your nipples!

"You can't even answer a simple question, can you?"

I can answer simple questions. I really can.

"Can you nod your head, pet?"

I struggled to get my neck to bend and when at last it did, the bells went into a schism of clattering that made my muscles freeze. What would someone think if they were walking outside the supply room door? I wonder if they would be able to hear all the ringing. Please let me go, NemesisGirl!

"Ok, but only barely..." NemesisGirl sighed. "I've got an idea, little pet. I'm going to give you a sentence to say. All you have to do is say it, ok? I want you to say these words... 'I love you'."

Chapter 6:

I love you!?! No fucking way am I going to say those words. No way!

"You don't have to mean it, subGrrl. I just want to hear you say those words...."

Oh, god!

The air in the room was thick and hard to inhale. The bells. Maybe they were sprinkling density into the gases of the room. Oh, god!

"Say it. Come on. I'll help. Say 'I'..."

I tried to open my mouth. No. I did open my mouth. But every time that I tried to make my vocal cords work, they froze up tighter. I knew that my voice would tremble. What would she think of me if my voice was trembling so much? I had forgotten to breathe.

"Just one word, subGrrl... Say 'I'..."

I kept trying to say 'I'. I kept opening my mouth to say it but each time fear would overwhelm me and my mouth would close again.

"Say 'I'..."

With my mouth opening and closing, I probably looked like a fish. Fish probably don't love their owners unconditionally. They are probably not even aware that they have owners - mindlessly swimming around in circles praying that a fickle and indifferent deity will throw out some nibblets. We're all fish.

"Life must be so hard for you, subGrrl," NemesisGirl said. Frankly, I was completely surprised by the tone of her voice. She wasn't being snarky or condescending. She seemed to express compassion. My tears began in full again and my nose began to run. My life is hard. I had to sniff and the bells went wild.

"Poor pet..." NemesisGirl said. I felt a tissue dab gently at my nose. Her fingers held my chin. "You really DO need an owner, don't you, pet."

I tugged at my wrists, manacled behind my back and slumped a little crying all the harder. I do...

"Alright, subGrrl. I understand that you are frozen. You need time to thaw. I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I have a magic gag. I am going to lock this magic gag on you." I sucked in some air and stiffened a bit, shaking even more.

"Let me tell you how this gag works," NemesisGirl continued. "My magic gag is invisible, but it will prevent you from making any sound at all. I'm going to lock it on you now." I felt a finger press very lightly against my lips. "You will never utter a single sound at work to anybody. Not me. Not BossWoman. Nobody. Not even if someone asks you a direct question. Don't worry. I will make up a reason why you can't talk. You will never utter a single sound. Never."

I had to open my mouth in order to breathe because my nose was so stuffed. When I did, NemesisGirl pushed her finger into my mouth. I closed my lips around her finger and tasted her flesh.

"Do you understand?" NemesisGirl then used her finger to force my head up and down as though I were nodding slightly. She pulled her finger out. "Very good, my little pet."

I suddenly realized that I was still nodding even without her prompting and so I froze again. Was I agreeing to play her little game? The idea of not talking... Did I actually feel a sense of relief?

"My magic gag, that I have allowed you to wear, pet, only has one key," NemesisGirl whispered. "And I am going to give that key to you. You can use it any time that you want."

This is kind of a stupid, stupid game then, isn't it?

"The key is four simple words that you have to say to me," NemesisGirl whispered. "You have to say 'I love you, NemesisGirl' and then you will magically be able to speak again. All you want... Until then... Not a sound."

Her arm snaked around behind me and rested lightly on my naked shoulder. Her lips were right next to my ear. Her breath made my hair rustle slightly. "This way, my pet, you can go home and plan how you will say those four words. You can practice. Write them down like a script to read to me, maybe. You don't have to mean it, pet. Please don't take too long... You just have to say them... 'I love you... NemesisGirl'."

I felt her hand on my wrist. A key slid into one of the manacles and it popped open. NemesisGirl then put several keys into my hand. "These keys will unlock everything. Your clothes and shoes are sitting next to you. Keep the cuffs and blindfold. Keep the bells. Wear them when you want and think about me. Now, don't move until I have left the room."

Lips grazed my head lightly. Then there was a movement of air. The door unlocked, opened and closed again and I was alone in the room.