Sure the house had some weird rumours associated with it ever since the police arrested that "mad scientist" a few years back, but it was structurally sound, in a nice area, and had been on the market long enough that I was able to get it for a really good price. The day after I took possession of the place I went in and did a thorough clean-up, and ended up finding a secret hatch in the basement that led to a room full of all kinds of weird stuff. I snapped a few pictures, figuring I might show some friends of mine as proof of my claim, then went back upstairs. It was then that I came across my ex-girlfriend standing half-naked in a door-frame, with a pole up her ass. On the platform the pole was attached to was a note that read "Tell no-one about the basement and this girl is yours to keep. Continue your predecessors research though, and there will be more to come." I took one look at my new toy and made the only decision that made sense.<br /><br />(Comments, criticisms, or even any captions that you all come up with are much appreciated. Enjoy!)