After the chaos of another protoplasm swap, it was decided to limit the number of people researching the strange relic. At the moment, Lysithea in Hilda’s body and Professor Byleth took charge in going into further research into said relic by staring at it.

“Thanks for helping my research, Professor. I’ve managed to use an enchantment to prevent the relic’s magic, but only in a more isolated environment.” Lysithea said.

“I see. It’s definitely something unusual - I can feel a strange aura from it. I wonder where it came from… and how to undo its effects.” Byleth said.

“I hope we find a solution soon. The others are getting a bit restless with this entire situation.” Lysithea said.

“Especially Rhea… the less said about her… you know. The better.” Byleth said in disgust.

“I never expected the Archbishop to go that far. Even Claude is more mature in the entire situation with a contingency plan if he ever swapped bodies.” Lysithea said.

“He has a contingency plan for everything. Even a list of jokes to tease you with.” Byleth said in a deadpanned voice.

“I still wish to burn that list and hit him in the head so hard that he forgets all of them.” Lysithea said.

“And let’s not forget what the others are doing. Raphael’s diet in Marianne’s body, Hilda being a pervert with Ignatz of all people, Rhea… you know what she tried to do with me, and Claude is trying to end racism. Okay, Claude is actually doing something good with all of this.” Byleth said.

“I expected worse from Claude but everyone else… argh.” Lysithea said.

“Well that’s something!” said a voice. “Hmm…mmm… this is a quite peculiar relic. I’ve never encountered anything like this before.”

Byleth then noticed the voice as she squeaked. “Sothis…?! Is that you?!”

“I’m clearly Rhea… who the hell do you think, imbecile?!” Sothis asked. “Gods, I thought you wised up since Smash! I saw everything when I was gone!”

“Uh…” Byleth said.

“Professor?” Lysithea asked.

“Having my mind issues again.” Byleth said.

“Mmm…this relic…*yawn*...seems to have allowed my soul to temporarily reawaken. How strange…” Sothis said.

“I… see. It’s nice to speak with you again.” Byleth said.

“Hmph! I should certainly say it is! Tell me, how are you faring witho-”

“PROFESSOR!” Lorentz screamed as he barged into the room. “I’m afraid we have some trouble.”

“What is it now, Lorentz?” Lysithea asked.

“Some Imperial Forces have managed to breach the monastery - they seem to want that old artifact! We must…” Lorentz continued before being interrupted.

“We’re already here!” Dorothea said along with the other invading Black Eagles consisting of herself, Caspar, Hubert, and Bernadetta. Mostly appearing out of nowhere.

“Oh gods!” Lorentz said.

“Apologies for such an abrupt entrance. Her highness requires a certain object of interest in your possession.” Hubert explained.

“Could you at least settle this outside?” Lysithea asked.

“No.” Hubert said.

“This isn’t good, Professor. The enchantment won’t hold with so many people around.” Lysithea said.

“The pink girl is right. At this rate, the relic wi-” Sothis continued.

Suddenly, everyone stopped and felt their minds emptying with something coming out of their mouths. Their perspective changed as their protoplasm heads rushed out of their mouths and were surprised by their new disembodied state. Well, except for Lysithea who seemed more annoyed by going through this again.

“Not again!” Lysithea’s protoplasm screamed.

Another surprise was that at Byleth’s end, two protoplasms exited out of their mouth. One belonged to them and the other was Sothis of all people with her protoplasm looking exactly like her except blue, without her accessories, and just a floating head.

“What are you doing out here?” Byleth asked.

“That relic takes out all souls, you dolt!” Sothis insulted.

“At least you get to be out!” Byleth said.

“Not like this!” Sothis cried.

“Ghaaaah!!” Hubert screamed.

“Haaah?!” Caspar screamed.

The protoplasms were flying around in shock as they paced around with haste. The only form of destination was each other’s bodies. Obviously not of their own as the souls came face to face with bodies not of their own. Coming in with an abrupt push into the mouth of each body.

When Byleth came through, she woke up and realized that she was wearing more armor than usual. Looking at her arms, it was clearly different from her own and she guessed that she now had the body of Caspar. Besides that one moment of being distracted, she was more concerned with everyone else caught in the mess.

“... is everyone alright?” Byleth asked.

“Certainly not! Professor, they’re going to steal the relic!” Lysithea said in Lorentz’s body.

“H-wha-?! Oh nonono, wh-why do I feel so drab and gaunt?” Dorothea cried as she felt her chest missing something important. But the clothing, she recognized very well as belonging to Hubert.

“It appears that we have swapped bodies.” Hubert said in Byleth’s body.

“My goodness - I’m seeing myself! And my armor is filthy!” Lorentz cried in Bernadetta’s body. “So is this body! I thought Bernadetta was a noble! She should take more consideration in hygiene.”

“Is that really what you are most concerned about?” Lysithea asked.

“You’d be very surprised how important it is to stay clean! I even offer free sanitation services to commoners!” Lorentz said.

“H-hey Hubert, what’s going on?! You said this mission would be a breeze!” Caspar asked while cupping Dorothea’s breast and clearly enjoying his new body while being shocked.

“I am not Hubert, and- do not touch those!” Dorothea exclaimed.

“I… must admit, I hadn’t foreseen this complication. Her Majesty didn’t inform me of this aspect  of the relic’s nature.” Hubert said. “Regardless, this chaos will allow for an easier success. We shall retreat with our spoils immediately.”

“W-wait, Hubert, we can’t just leave like this! Now way am I—” Dorothea said before the Black Eagle Strike Force suddenly vanished in a “Phwish!”

The cloud slowly cleared up as the enemy made their escape. To make matters worse, the relic vanished along with them in the process.

“Argh, it’s gone! Without that, we’re stuck like this! And who knows what they’re going to do with it!” Lysithea groaned.

“This could be bad… any advice, Sothis?” Byleth said silently to herself only to hear nothing. Only to look at what appeared to be “Hilda” sort of. “Sothis?”

“My my! I hadn’t realized how much I missed having a physical form! And this vessel is perfectly suited to my standards!” said a voice from Hilda’s body.

“Ah… might I ask who is currently in Hilda’s body?” Lorentz asked.

Before Byleth could explain, she was interrupted by a timid but loud squeak from the chandelier. Everyone looking at Byleth’s direction saw what appeared to be Bernadetta’s protoplasm! Her blue floating head was stuck on the chandelier by her blue wispy tail.

“Um… s-sorry to interrupt, um… could anyone help me…? Please?!” Bernadetta asked.

“So that’s what our souls looked like?” Lysithea asked. “I vaguely saw it as we swapped bodies but to see it more clearly seems strange.”

“You think? Get me out of here!” Bernadetta cried. “I already miss having arms and legs and a body for that matter!”

“Jar her.” Sothis suggested. “She needs to be contained.”

“If you insist.” Byleth sighed.

“What does that mean? What does Hilda mean?!” Bernadetta asked.

…

Meanwhile, with the Black Eagles Strike Force, the group minus Bernadetta gathered together to report on their recent findings with the addition of Ferdinand and Petra. With the unswapped members looking curious and confused to their fellow comrades.

“I-I see. You all really have become one another…” Ferdinand said.

“Yes, unfortunately. It seems like that relic was more unstable than we thought.” Dorothea said, crossing her arms. “Ugh, why did I get stuck as Hubert?”

“Yeah, this is all super weird. No offense, Dorothea. I kinda hope I don’t have to stay in your body too long.” Caspar said while scratching his head.

In an instant, Caspar received a death glare from Dorothea. Coming from Hubert’s reaper looking eyes only made things worse as Caspar was surprised. Though his new boobs made him bend a little when trying to stand back up straight.

“I mean, I’m used to wearing armor and stuff, but seriously! These things are so heavy!” Caspar said.

“Caspar!!! Really, have some respect!” Dorothea scolded. “Oh, this is a nightmare - when will we be able to switch back?”

“Not too long with any luck.” Hubert interrupted as he came into the group meeting.

While most would be disturbed or annoyed with how Hubert would have this creepy and demanding aura, they were surprised to see his appearance this time. Not just due to having the body of Professor Byleth but also due to what he was wearing.

“Lady Edelgard and Linhardt have been researching the relic extensively.” Hubert continued. Despite his serious demeanor, he was currently wearing a maid outfit with black clothing covered by white frills.

“Er, Hubert… might I ask why you’re wearing… that?” Ferdinand asked.

Hubert gave Ferdinand a death glare and said. “Her Majesty has assured me that this garb is essential to her goals.”

“Oh yes, I’m sure Edie has excellent reasons for having the Professor wear such a thing.” Dorothea said.

“Contingency Plan, Possession or Swap. If Lady Edelgard gets her hands on the Professor’s body, this outfit must be worn.” Hubert explained.

“Wait, that was real? Along with Contingency Plan, BedTime or Dominance?” Dorothea wondered.

“There’s more to it than Contingency Plan, Art Reference?” Ferdinand asked.

“What are you all on about?” Caspar asked.

“How did you know any of this?” Hubert asked with a more malicious tone in his voice.

“I don’t mean to interrupt… but um… we also have some pressing concerns.” Petra said.

“What can be more important than her Majesty’s secrets being out in the open?” Hubert asked.

“I am wondering, however, where is Bernadetta? I am not fully understanding this, but she is not here, is she?” Petra asked.

“Yes, it appears in my haste to retreat, somehow Bernadetta was left at the Monastery.” Hubert said with his voice calmed down. “Her Majesty has deemed it too unsafe to return to rescue her at this moment. I can only hope she is alright.”

“Really?” Dorothea asked.

“No. She creeps me out.” Hubert said.

“Huh.” Dorothea said.

Strong footsteps echoed to the ears of the Black Eagles as they saw their Empress appearing before them. “Ah, here you all are. I’ve sent Linhardt to the library in search of more information but I believe we understand the relic some more now.”

“Lady Edelgard, welcome!” Hubert said, following it up with a bow.

“Hey Edie!” Dorothea said.

“Dorothea, no offense but I may need you to refrain from speaking in Hubert’s body until we get you back to normal.” Edelgard said while struggling to keep a straight face. It was weird seeing Hubert being as lax as her dear friend.

“Pfft.” Caspar chuckled.

“Anyways. We’re not certain as to its intended use, but it seems to have been created with the intention of manipulating souls - a useful ability in any war of course.” Edelgard explained. “Thankfully, we seem to have neutralized its effect for now, and so…”

Before Edelgard could explain further, her throat felt like it was preparing a big burp. As the Empress of the Adrestian Empire, she must refrain from acting crass as much as possible. However, she saw everyone felt the same way with strange blue mist emitting from their mouths.

“Hmmph?!” Edelgard muttered.

“Hwoah!”

“Fwaah!”

The Black Eagles Strike Force were shocked as their protoplasms exited through their mouths once more. Fluttering around at high speeds around their former bodies. With Edelgard, Ferdinand, and Petra joining the fray, it only got more messy as the three were shocked in their first time being involved in the soul swap.

Though all hope was not lost as they eventually inserted themselves into some bodies once more. With one of the first being Dorothea who ended up in Byleth’s body. When the singer adjusted to her new body, she grinned with some delight despite the circumstances.

“Ah! Much better! It isn’t my own body, but I’ll certainly take this as a temporary replacement.” Dorothea said.

“O-oh my! This… Petra? This certainly is bizarre.” Ferdinand said in Petra’s body. Just feeling the jiggling of boobs for the first time.

“What?! I am wearing the dress of Dorothea? Wait, no, this is not only her dress.” Petra in Dorothea’s body said.

“Welp. Now you know how we felt.” Caspar in Hubert’s body said as he stretched his hip. “Aw man, Hubert, you feel all stiff! Seriously, you need to start doing some stretches or something!”

“Crap…” Edelgard in Ferdinand’s body thought before saying. “This was unexpected… Hubert, do you have any idea why the relic reactivated?”

“I… couldn’t say, Lady Edelgard. Perhaps being surrounded by a number of souls in incorrect bodies…” Hubert in Edelgard’s body. Blushing and standing more stiff than a tree.

“Why, Hubert, you’re so tense suddenly.” Dorothea chuckled. “You seemed fine in the Professor’s body.”

“I… am not tense, merely disoriented from the sensation of changing forms so suddenly.” Hubert said.

“So are we and yet our faces are not as red as your dress.” Dorothea said.

“If it were to satisfy you, I admit to feeling honored having Edelgard’s body.” Hubert said.

“Hubert, don’t treat my body like that. It’s preserved for the Pro… um… it’s preserved!” Edelgard said. “Even if you do see beauty in my body.”

“My apologies, Lady Edelgard.” Hubert said.

“Regardless, I cannot simply remain in another body while I work toward our aims - especially not this one.” Edelgard said angrily.

“Hey…!” Ferdinand cried.

“You know it’s true!” Edelgard said with the rest of the Black Eagles nodding in agreement.

“Excuse my transgressions but I am offended by that comment.” Ferdinand said.

“Which was the point!” Edelgard said before eyeing on the relic once more. “I believe contact with the relic in a certain way will cause it to react once more.”

“Ah… Lady Edelgard…” Hubert said with a concerned look.

“Not a word about how my body is a gem!” Edelgard said while touching the relic.

“Perhaps we should not…” Hubert begged.

It was too late as their protoplasms left their bodies once again. Though they seemed to be moving faster than usual. Perhaps the settings of the relic heightened up when it finally got physical contact to activate. Or it was due to being used immediately after one swap with no breaks.

“Uwooah!” they cried.

Due to the increased speed, the lack of control and direction made things worse for how they traverse. “Bump!” They began bumping into each other but that only increased the speed. Their flight used to be around their bodies but they bumped towards the walls or flew at a further radius away from their bodies.

“Waaah?!”

After constant flying, they sped towards a nearby body. Aiming towards the mouth and dashed in like a rocket. Adjusting to their new bodies again, the group took the opportunity to look at themselves before giving off a reaction as usual.

“What is this?” Ferdinand in Edelgard’s body asked. “To think fate finally gave me a chance!”

“Oh gods no.” Caspar in Byleth’s body said.

“Haha! Well, if nothing else this is a perfect opportunity to prove that I could play the role of ‘Lady Edelgard’ better even than herself!” Ferdinand said.

“...well, it seems this relic is going to continue to confound us despite our understanding of it.” Hubert in Petra’s body said. Clearly, ignoring Ferdinand and potential treason right in front of him.

“A-aren’t you going to dispute me?!” Ferdinand said.

“What, I am now Hubert?” Petra in Hubert’s body asked. “This is being very strange… ugh, and discomfortable. Sorry Hubert.”

“Why does everyone have a problem with my body?” Hubert asked.

“Stop ignoring me!” Ferdinand said.

“Good grief… well, we must use the relic again unless we wish to remain like this.” Edelgard in Dorothea’s body said as she had her eye on Byleth’s body.

“What? Is my body so unbearable?” Dorothea in Ferdinand’s body said.

“Okay, you can stop mocking me now.” Ferdinand said.

“Come on Edie, are you sure you’re not just trying your luck to get… particularly close to a certain someone with this body-switching business?” Dorothea asked.

Edelgard cleared her throat and said. “Don’t be absurd. I’m simply trying to return everyone to normal - or as close as possible. Why would I even want to be in anyone’s body besides my ow-”

“Ugh, seriously? Do all girls feel like that?!” Caspar in Byleth’s body interrupted. “I’m starting to have a lot of respect for your guys!”

“C-Caspar! Please treat the Professor’s body with more respect!” Edelgard ordered as she started to get closer to the relic. “Oh, why is this infuriating thing so uncooperative?!”

“Edie! Don’t you dare!” Dorothea insisted.

Edelgard could not resist as she kept on pressing and bonking onto the relic hastily. Trying to get it to work while ignoring Dorothea’s warnings. As expected, their protoplasms exited out of their mouths once more. Though unlike before, they were more annoyed and surprised. Especially having to do this for the third time as they flew around. Though Edelgard and Dorothea’s protoplasms were at a close distance for some reason.

“Eheh…” Edelgard nervously chuckled.

“Ugh…” Dorothea said. “You just can’t resist.”

“My apologies…” Edelgard said. “I… have my… reasons.”

“I get it… you wanted the professor’s body.” Dorothea said.

“Dorothea?!” Edelgard cried.

With what little control Edelgard had, she bumped into Dorothea out of pure embarrassment. Though the songstress’ protoplasm ended up crashing into the relic screaming “Wha-?!” and somehow entered into it like a door. Following it up was a bouncing sound and a protoplasm exited it out and entered Edelgard’s mouth. With the other protoplasms following suit in entering a body.

“What on Earth… am I free? But where…” “Edelgard” said. “What-! This-! No, this cannot be happening-! Am I that-that woman?!”

“That voice.” Edelgard said in Hubert’s body. “It can’t be- DIMITRI?!”

Dimitri in Edelgard’s body glared at the empress and shouted. “EDELGARD!”

…

Inside the relic, it was surprisingly spacious but there was too much mist. Similar to the tails of a protoplasm except it’s all over the place. Giving a blue color to the place.

Dorothea’s protoplasm traversed in this realm as she somehow had some control on where she could “swim”. It was a bit difficult at first since she was just a floating head and she spent most of her time as a protoplasm floating around uncontrollably. As she got used to her bodiless form, she just learned how to stop and had time to wonder.

“Wh-where am I?!” Dorothea asked.

Two round figures approached her which surprised the floating head. As they got closer, the figures' features gained more detail until it was revealed that they were protoplasms like Dorothea. Not just that, they were familiar faces as well!

“Dorothea?! Is that you?” Annette asked.

“Annie? Mercie?!” Dorothea asked.

“Oh dear… So they captured you as well?” Mercedes asked.

“They?” Dorothea asked.

“We have a lot to explain.” Mercedes said.

“And some catching up! We missed you so much!” Annette said.

“I guess if we can kill some time while being trapped here.” Dorothea sighed.