“WAKEY WAKEY EVERYONE! I HAD TO RELY ON PART TIMERS OVER MY SHOP FOR YOU ALL!” Rei shouted in a megaphone. The magician was still in her pajamas of a shirt and checkerboard pants with her hair being a mess. “JUST GET UP RIGHT NOW! NO NEED TO CHANGE!”
The heads of Killer and Jeanne woke up suddenly from their shelves as they were the closest to the shouting magician. The two wanted to get off the shelf but suddenly found themselves floating off and attached back to their bodies.
“Wow, she wasn’t wrong that we can come and go with this shelf,” Jeanne said.
Down the hall, we see Rosa popping out of her toy house, still in her pink fluffy pajamas and her hair let down. The woman crashed onto the wall as she thought that she needed to keep on sprint. To make matters worse, the door to Noel’s room opened and ended up hitting Rosa.
“Ouch!” Rosa said.
Noel was out of her room as she struggled to put on her uniform quickly as she dropped a bunch of magical tools. The young witch was fumbling over the mess that she made as she tried to make herself presentable.
As for Eriza, she came out of her room stomping. Her stomps were a wake up call on its own as the terrible dragon fumes smoke out of her nose. The oddest part was that she was naked and the producers censored it despite how the private parts are not shown in detail due to her scales acting as covers to begin with.
“I know I kind of rushed you all in your PJs, but you sleep naked?” Rei asked.
“Of course. I am part dragon and I do let my animalistic side act up sometimes,” Eriza said. “It also makes [censored] easier for me.”
“TMI!” Rei said.
“What does that mean?” Eriza asked.
“Too much information,” Noel stated.
“Not now!” Rei said as she threw the megaphone to the side. “Look, Eriza, baby. Just cover up.”
Eriza breathed black fire onto herself as she got her clothes on, at the very least. The dragonic queen approached Rei and glared at her menacingly before threatening her with a close up before meeting with the others.
“So I made rehearsal schedules for when any of you will work with me personally. They will be two hour sessions per person and two people per day. The rest of you will practice your gig on your own in the meantime or gain advice from my first assistant,” Rei said. “The first person to practice with me will be… Rosa. Then Eriza, Noel, Jeanne, and Killer.”
“Okey dokey!” Rosa said.
“Practice? Just hope you can handle me,” Eriza said.
“I kind of picked based on who did well in my test. For Rosa, her method of a room was a nice change of pace which was why I personally think she did the best,” Rei explained.
“All I did was ask a friend a favor,” Rosa said.
“A magical one at that with that toy house thing!” Rei said. “Don’t you dare advertise it right now please.”
“That little trinket is better than my magic?” Eriza said.
“You only came second only because you did more than Noel. I assumed that you created a gateway between your room to this house. It is pretty okay and average, but your edge was that you had a bigger room with some other forms of magic involved,” Rei explained. “Noel though only created a small pocket dimension that is an equivalent of a big tent.”
“Oh…” Noel said disappointedly.
“Average will not cut it here nor does the lack of effort! If I had it my way, Noel would have gotten second place for effort due to the complications of what she attempted. But objectively, Eriza produced better results with little effort,” Rei said. “Any of you might be a master of something, but I demand you all to put in all that you got or just give me your head.”
“I always put in my all at my work,” Killer said.
“Just not against me, please,” Rei said.
“If only I can be as good as the other three,” Jeanne said.
“While I am disappointed that you two can’t create your own rooms, it gave me some idea on the type of magic you two might be capable of doing,” Rei said. “Jeanne only got the technical fourth place due to how I don’t want to be in a room alone with Killer immediately.”
Jeanne covered her face with her hoodie and knelt down while Killer’s face remained emotionless. Rei looked unamused at the bounty hunter who somehow was not affected by Rei’s harsh criticisms towards her.
“After you girls get ready with some breakfast, I’ll give you time to think of ideas of your gig with a little help from a little friend,” Rei said.
“Ooo, a friend of Rei got to be a friend of mine,” Rosa said.
“What is for breakfast anyways?” Eriza asked. “Dinner was okay but cheap. Breakfast better be of higher quality.”
“Um… I kind of lacked groceries so…” Rei said.
“Very well! I shall have my servants prepare breakfast and they have it done now,” Eriza said.
A bunch of lizard men marched out of Eriza’s room with plates of assorted meat from beef to chicken to pork to humans! Some were raw while others were cooked. All of the plates stacked on the dinner table to reach the ceiling. Some plates were left near the floor because they could not fit on the table.
“What’s on the floor is simply too little for you all,” Eriza said. “Bring in more!”
“Hold on! This is way too much,” Rosa said. “Isn’t what you got on the table too much for you if you eat by yourself?”
“Actually, it is rather small. My draconic heritage made me have such a big appetite,” Eriza said as she went to the table and grabbed a slab of meat with her hands.
“Eriza, I’m not one to judge but don’t you use utensils?” Rei said. “I kind of not mentioned it last night since we were all too busy eating and all.”
“Not that I need any,” Eriza said. “I know how to use them because I assault those that did when I tried attacking them during their meals.”
“Okay…” Rei said as she got a fork and went for a slice of beef.
“Oh boy! Can I have some?” Jerome said from his camera.
“Sure?” Rei said. “Just avoid what appears to be human meat.”
“More for me I suppose,” Eriza said.
“You eat human?” Rosa asked. “This is so wrong!”
“Who are you to judge?” Eriza said as she had a bite of a cooked arm.
“You’re scary, you know that,” Noel said.
Killer stared at Eriza with an empty look and looked down at a slab of meat. Eating it slowly as she stared at Eriza eating the human arm.
Footage sort of stopped as Jerome was joining the girls to eat. Anything involving the meal was not shown to the public as a result. Especially with the hint of human meat involved.
…
After breakfast, everyone got changed in their rooms except for Jeanne and Killer who didn’t really have rooms. When Eriza, Noel, and Rosa were done changing, they saw Jeanne and Killer staring at what appeared to be a disembodied head of a woman.
The head appeared with curly and messy blond hair. She had a mole on the right side close to her lips. She casually looked at the five contestants as if she was testing them.
“She’ll mold you all soon,” the head said.
“You must be Shirley! Rei’s original assistant!” Noel said. “At least in a professional sense.”
“You got that right!” the head said. “I hope y'all ready for my girl to go all Gordon Ramsey up your asses. Working with her back then was only easy because I’m me. Got some dumb idea and Rei just eats it up. Now I just work as a side partner for the shop while sitting on the shelf. I would be an assistant again, but I would rather not steal any bodies to do so.”
“May I ask what kind of crazy things?” Jeanne asked.
“There was this one time we did an act where she made herself stretchy and created loops for me to jump through with my motorcycle. All ending with me crashing into her and flung me back,” Shirley said. “And that was according to plan.”
“We need to be that extreme?” Rosa asked. “I don’t want to hurt Rei!”
“That’s how her gig works,” Shirley said. “She always wants to do insane stuff to herself and I just so happen to be a bit of a daredevil myself. If you don’t have the balls to hurt that girl, she will hurt you back. Besides, she’s tough enough to deal with life threatening situations all the time.”
“Didn’t take her as that threatening,” Eriza said.
“Looks like I do need to take her seriously,” Killer said. “She’s not like how my benefactors described her.”
“And whatever you don’t, don’t f*** with us heads! She cares so much over us that it’s adorable,” Shirley said. “God it feels so embarrassing to be reduced to this but I got used to it thanks to her.”
“So um… was the example you gave us the best we need to do?” Noel asked.
“Oh no, that's the average. Go beyond, kid,” Shirley said. “Of course, I’m here to help you girls brainstorm.”
“Man, so much pressure,” Noel said.
“Oh don’t worry about it. Just don’t make obvious mistakes, put all of your effort to it, and have confidence. Showing none of those will piss Rei off the most,” Shirley said. “Especially since you are working with a life and death situation.”
“I’ll do my best then!” Noel said.
“Alright. Really take some time to think about it girls,” Shirley said. “You got to make a good impression on performance magic.”
“I got an idea! I was thinking of doing a dance routine based on my old days as a hero of love and peace!” Rosa said.
“And?” Shirley asked.
“Well, there’s some lights and spells and glitter and…”
“Alright, slow down there. Just think about some of the details slowly and you can get a good picture,” Shirley said.
“I’ll obviously try to kill Rei Shinkozaki,” Killer said. “Maybe in the form of performative magic combat. I’ll need time to think about some techniques or methods of killing.”
“Ah ha… ha… haaaa,” Shirley said nervously. “I know I said to be extreme but this is insane.”
“Quiet! I’m thinking of a masterpiece of a performance,” Eriza said.
“Hmm… tennis ball, no. Juggling, too basic. Something that stands out…” Noel said to herself.
“I guess I can try to do what I did in my introduction video but with Rei. Just need a specific song to play or spell,” Jeanne said.
“I guess these girls are trying,” Shirley said to herself.
…
Day 1: Rosa.
“You want me to do what?” Rei asked in an alley.
“We will do a recreation of Magical Rondo!” Rosa suggested. “I asked my cat Belladonna for a dress for you and she was thinking between gold or silver.”
“Silver!” Rei said. “Gold may look too tacky based on your dress.”
“I was also thinking of including some brooms to fly on with an entire area change,” Rosa said.
“Hmm, I can see how this works and we’ll need to put up some of our circus skills,” Rei said. “Alright. There’s potential to the idea. More spells or unique stuff happening and we can make it work. All while the dancing is the most important part.”
“I got the dance memorized and the song provided,” Rosa said. “Sorry if this seems like a lot of work but I know we can make it happen.”
“I was gonna sell out with a dance at some point anyways,” Rei chuckled. “Now then, show me the steps and I’ll record it. Then we can get started on practicing.”
“Sure!” Rosa said.
“Now don’t be afraid when it comes to ideas. I was the one who told you to come up with anything. Unless I say so, the sky's the limit on what you want to do with me. Just make sure it works,” Rei said. “And it would be nice if you were also not pretentious about it. Not saying you are, but I’ve seen contestants being like that.”
“Of course. As long as you are okay with it,” Rosa said as she saluted to her.
“Now then, let’s begin!” Rei said.
…
Day 2: Eliza
Eliza looked around the alleyway and was disappointed that this was where she will practice her act with Rei. There was no one around to bother them and the only sounds were of cars coming by with random chattering. Eriza’s tail swiped a nearby trash can in frustration which shocked Rei.
“This is the best place you got?” Eriza asked.
“Yeah, I don’t have a studio and this is the most space we have,” Rei said.
“Anyways, I was influenced by our meals and decided to give you the skewer treatment,” Eriza said.
“Pardon?” Rei asked.
“Don’t worry, I intend that you will live unlike most of my victims. It will rely on the survivability skills that I heard you have,” Eriza said.
“I do have these skills but I can still feel pain,” Rei said nervously.
“All I’m going to do is burn you while I shove a stick up your butt. You would be delicious skewer meat, glazed by my flames, and shown off to the public. Alive no less,” Eriza said.
“We could try something less painful,” Rei suggested.
“Hmm… I like my idea better,” Eriza said as she got a stick to appear at hand. “Now then, let’s begin!”
“Oh f***!” Rei said as Eriza began breathing fire.
“Oh boy!” Jerome said as he was still filming this.
…
Day 2: Intermission
Rei needed an hour break between personal rehearsals. Though for today, she might be a little late for the second one due to an unexpected event. At least, the later fact was told by Eriza who seemed annoyed.
“Honestly, I really thought that woman can take the heat,” Eriza said.
“Great… she might end up cutting my hours or I have to wait a bit longer,” Noel said.
Noel was practicing having a couch waddle around while guiding it while controlling it with her wand. The news ended up distracting her as the couch ended up ramming into the wall.
“You’ll be up regardless but I doubt it will matter,” Eriza said.
“Not interested in your negative thoughts if you want to distract me,” Noel said. “And now I’m distracted with some low self esteem.”
“Wow! I did not know you were that weak,” Eriza said.
“Quiet you!” Noel said.
“In my opinion, you are being a bother,” Killer said as she was suddenly behind Eriza. “I also suggest that you spend more time practicing your act than antagonizing Noel Isobel Brandy Pastel Pasteur Livington.”
“The hell!” Eriza said. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”
“Just Noel is fine,” Noel said. “And thank you.”
“Very well, Noel,” Killer said.
“I don’t need you to judge me!” Eriza said as she went off to do her thing.
“So what’s your act?” Noel asked. “Besides just killing Rei.”
“If I am going to make it performative, it will be a ballet of death,” Killer said as she got some knives ready. “Rei Shinozaki will dodge my blades but these are magical homing blades. She would need to think of creative ways of dodging them.”
“That’s rather unique,” Noel said nervously.
“Fear not. I have no intentions in hurting you unless it’s for self defense,” Killer said. “Let us hope that you don’t become someone that needed to be killed.”
“I hope so too,” Noel said. “Maybe we could get along.”
“Of course,” Killer said. “I have no intentions in antagonizing you anyways nor any reason too. It would benefit me more if we did get along.”
“That’s good,” Noel said. “For a moment there, I thought you would be a lone wolf type of person.”
“Sometimes the best hunters need friends,” Killer said. “I may look like an emotionless person, but I had them removed after a traumatic incident.”
“Do you mind telling me?” Noel asked. “Even if Jerome is recording us at this minute.”
“I don’t mind. It’s not something that can be used against me, I think,” Killer said. “When I was young, I attended a magic show that scarred me. The magician accidentally killed his assistant and I forgot the details besides the fact that there was a death.”
“That’s awful,” Noel said. “I think I know which show that was.”
“Right after, I bumped into Rei Shinozaki. Much younger than she was today. Probably still in school but my memory is hazy,” Killer said. “She claimed to try to cheer me up by taking my nose. That also scarred me and forced her to give it back. After some therapy and treatment, I decided to be a magical bounty hunter to rid the world of dangerous magic users. Rei Shinozaki being one of them.”
“All because she made a ‘took your nose’ joke?” Noel asked.
“Mostly the show before that but the so called ‘joke’ was uncalled for,” Killer said.
“That fact alone killed the mood,” Noel said. “Sorry if that sounds rude.”
“Everyone felt the same thing,” Killer said. “I've gotten over the fear of losing my nose at least.”
“That’s good but this is a bit overkill,” Noel said.
“I think it's necessary,” Killer said.
…
Day 2: Noel
“Hmm hmm… I guess we can work with that,” Rei said as she was rubbing her butt. “I’ll have to notify the cops and the person who gave us permission to perform about that. We also have to be sure that we can prevent property damage.”
“Thank you Rei,” Noel said. “I hope you really don’t mind lending your magic for this.”
“I insist!” Rei said. “We will need some stuff to practice with, plan the act, and somehow mess me up.”
“Oh no! I forgot about that part,” Noel said.
“We can brainstorm that idea together,” Rei said. “Your idea can shake things up but I can help improve it.”
“Hmm, I guess I can turn you into a wand or an object that all the street stuff will follow?” Noel said.
“Put a pin in that, I guess that can work,” Rei said. “Maybe the later as the former will make you be the lead magician instead of assistant.”
“Of course,” Noel said. “Anything you say.”
“Let’s start off with that trash can,” Rei suggested. “It’s best to focus but not so much that you ended up worrying a lot. Try to relax a bit.”
Noel pointed at the trash can and said an incantation, causing the trash can to wobble side to side. The trash can started hopping while it’s contents began spilling out.
“Good but breathe in. Just think of what you want it to do and how funny it will be,” Rei said.
The trash can started hopping more in one place as Noel began to smile. It stopped for a bit as Noel tried to focus some more. It kept on moving as Noel looked more relaxed but pretty tense at the same time.
“Imagine it being like riding a broom,” Rei said. “Good! Good!”
“Ah phew!” Noel said as she wiped the sweat off of her forehead before the trash can fell onto its side.
“Now we just need you to get used to that feeling consistently,” Rei said.
“I forgot to ask,” Noel said. “Are you feeling alright? You have been touching your butt earlier.”
“Oh just Eriza,” Rei said. “You’ll see later as to why.”
…
Day 2: Night time.
“Come on, come on!” Noel said as she was sweating while having the couch do a freestyle dance.
Jeanne was beside her as she was playing her guitar. Figuring out what type of notes to play or checking out the dancing couch for inspiration. After looking over Noel, she looked bored.
“Well, I got some ideas from that,” Jeanne said.
“Phew!” Noel said. “I got to keep going.”
“Really?” Jeanne asked. “I thought I was the vampire. Or heck, I thought Rosa was the pumped up girl!”
“I just got to keep at it until I feel ready,” Noel said. “Otherwise I won’t be able to sleep.”
“Good luck with that then. I’m just gonna jam casually instead for practice,” Jeanne said. “You do you.”
“Magic and Pixies with Glitter everywhere!” Rei and Rosa sang as they suddenly bursted into the living room and were dancing to a really upbeat song. Both women had headphones on while wearing their pajamas.
“Yiyah!” Jeanne cried.
“Eep!” Noel said.
Rei took her headphones off and said. “Oh sorry girls. Rosa and I were practicing here instead of Belladonna’s house. Mostly because her little kittens need to sleep now.”
“Oh. We don’t mind,” Noel said. “We’re just practicing as well.”
“Well not really for me,” Jeanne said.
“Let’s just continue where we left off,” Rosa said.
Both Rei and Rosa then continued singing. “Just like that, we’ll be there!”
…
Day 3: Jeanne
“It needs more than that!” Rei said. “You can’t just repeat what you did in your introduction.”
“I know. I’m struggling to find out besides a concert,” Jeanne said. “I know magic but I’m more of a musician.”
“Well, do you have a singer?” Rei asked.
“Not really,” Jeanne said. “But I know how to write lyrics.”
“I guess we can add singing,” Rei said.
“Combine with my hypnosis magic to make everything more surreal than it looks,” Jeanne said.
“A more f***** up version of changing the environment,” Rei said. “You probably got yourself an act that may impress me.”
“Thanks,” Jeanne said. “I’ll play the song and you can sing. Anyone who hears your voice and my song will trip out and see their reality warp when it’s only an illusion.”
“Maybe transform my into whatever to make it look more trippy while altering the place with your light show,” Rei said.
“The neon lights will probably pop out more for the audience and…” Jeanne said.
“Bring out the pretty colors!” Both Jeanne and Rei said.
“Jinx!” Rei said. “Alright, just get writing to the song and maybe you can sing parts of it.”
“Why me?” Jeanne asked. “I rather if you sing.”
“I’m not good at singing and you got a good voice,” Rei said as she got close to Jeanne. “Listen, we need to put all of our work together in this one act. Like this is a teamwork thing. When you are with me, we do lots of teamwork things! None of that avoiding or doing things solo in acts most of the time. I’m here to get screwed over and you help me get screwed over and not die. Get it?”
“I’m kind of nervous about that,” Jeanne said. “Especially with you this close.”
“Oh sorry,” Rei said as she backed off. “Of course there are boundaries. Just got the mood over my head.”
“Okay,” Jeanne said.
“But seriously, you work for me and we got to work with each other,” Rei said. “The job position is calling for assistants for a reason. Besides, your voice seems nice enough for singing unlike me.”
“I expected it as much,” Jeanne said. “I’m still kind of nervous about that though.”
“I’ll try to ease you into working in a team,” Rei said. “Maybe help you gain the confidence to be singing.”
“Thank you for understanding,” Jeanne said. “I’ll try. But your singing can’t be that bad. Right?”
“Got earphones in case?” Rei asked.
“Oh oh, I feel that I may regret asking,” Jeanne said.
“Damn straight!” Rei said.
…
Day 3: Killer
“I heard about your plan,” Rei said. “Let’s go.”
Killer looked at her knives and looked disappointed. “These aren’t really the main plan but I must keep that a secret from you or else you will anticipate them.”
“I’m going to guess that if we train with those knives, I would focus on them more for that other plan then. Are you sure you are the best? You keep giving away information unintentionally and you have had small dumb moments,” Rei said. “Okay, not that dumb but a bit unexpected by someone of your skills.”
“I assure you, I do have a 100% success rate on any job given to me,” Killer said. “You are the most formidable foe I have ever encountered.”
“Maybe the people you hunted down were morons,” Rei assumed.
“Nonsense. I have faced the biggest of threats in the magic world such as Bobo the Flying Clown. Scaring kids while planning on eating him,” Killer said.
“It’s those internet memes that made him scary! They were probably joking when they hired you,” Rei said. “In fact, who the hell would spend so much to do so?”
“Classified,” Killer said. “Then there was Sir Magic Person the 19th. He cursed my client and I was sent to kill him before he made any more contracts with others.”
“Okay, that guy is an asshole but death is going too far. He just does friendly tricks at best,” Rei said. “Besides, he only goes after other assholes worse than him. At least that’s what the legends say about him.”
“What if I told you that his wife hired me due to his abusive nature?” Killer asked.
“Isn’t there a magic jail? I kept being threatened by wizards and regular cops when I started my head shop or was it when I started being a magician,” Rei said. “They didn’t like me being some mortal kid knowing advanced magic.”
“Either way, I find you to be a threat to the world like those two,” Killer said.
“WHY?!!!” Rei cried.
“My benefactors said that you stole their property and have scammed them,” Killer said. “That’s enough for me.”
“Wait, I’m going to assume that they are assholes that stole heads of girls and I kind of nabbed them! I returned the heads of course,” Rei said.
“If they were evil as you say, I would have gone after them. However, my vendetta against you also fuels my rage and contempt. All for when you took my nose,” Killer said.
“Oh right, you were that girl that was traumatized from that show,” Rei said as she remembered. “Wait, you want to kill me over that?!”
“Yes,” Killer said.
“I don’t… just… are we gonna practice for the recital or not?” Rei asked.
“Of course,” Killer said. “Engarde.”
The bounty hunter had her knives ready as she threw them anywhere away from Rei. The knives though were moving in multiple directions around Rei as they striked at the magician in the back.
“Ah f***! We're doing two hours of this?!” Rei said as she kept on moving.
“Not exactly, Rei Shinozaki. I got more methods to kill you with,” Killer said. “At best, we will do this for 10 to 20 minutes.”
“[Censored]!” Rei said in a long rant.
…
By the end of the day, the contestants had their heads on a table in front of the camera. Though this time, Rei’s head got to join them. The girls were rather annoyed that they have to appear like this, except for Killer who showed no form of distress in being a head.
“You saw how these girls tried to practice with me and we would start the order again for the next day, but this three part episode will come to a close!” Rei said. “Next time on NSA, we will see these girls in action and see what they are made of!”
“Why are we heads this time?” Eriza asked.
“I’m glad you asked,” Rei said. “It’s the time when we answer any questions our viewers may or may not offer to us. Starting next episode, we will start answering questions!”
“Oh no, I doubt I can answer them well,” Jeanne said.
“Oh ho, ask away simpletons. I am very happy to oblige,” Eriza said.
“I will keep some information private, thank you very much,” Killer said.
“Of course there is a privacy policy,” Rei said. “I’m not an asshole.”
“I did some readings and there is so much wrong with this show. Like…” Killer said.
“Anywho! Get ready for next time!” Rei said. “Bye everyone.”
“Bye!” everyone else said out of sync.
...