TF … actually, no TF
When Science And Magic Meet Ennui
or
The Bowling Point of No Return
(with apologies to Grapehyacinth)
The two women - one blonde, the other dark-haired - sat staring at the bottle of Ultimate Potion before them. Just one sip and they could transform themselves into anything in the universe.
There was just one problem.
The dark-haired woman sighed. “So, what do you want to do tonight, Caroline?”
The blonde sighed too. “I dunno. What do you want to do, Lexi?”
They stared at the bottle some more.
“We could transform ourselves into fruit girls … becoming girls made up of fruit, then piles of fruit …”
“We’ve done that. Lots of times.”
“Well, what about fruit pies? I could be the filling, you could be the crust this time.”
“Bah. We’ve done that too.”
“Or how about we become bubble bath?”
“Done that too.” Lexi sighed again.
“We could become something really big!” Caroline said, brightening. “Like, a jet or something!”
“Please, no,” Lexi blanched. “I’ve just had the ceiling repaired.”
“Oh yeah. Sorry about that.”
“You should be.”
Silence.
“Ice-cream …”
“Done it.”
“Puddles of goo …”
“Done it.”
“Blobs of mercury merging with each other …”
“Done it.”
“Sex toys …”
“Done it. And remember, don’t tell Gena and Jim.”
“Or our boyfriends.”
“Shhhh. Right.”
More silence.
“Sand art …”
“Done it.”
“Trees …”
“Done it.”
“Oh sure, I know, but there’s never enough plant transformations.”
“Some other time. I really want to do something new.”
“Okay, how about turning into a record player and playing some Ravel LPs?”
Another woman stuck her head into the room. “Don’t you dare! That’s something Roman and I do!” Then she left.
“Okay, then … a house?”
“Done it.”
“Popsicles?”
“Done it.”
“Oh! I know! Space heaters!”
Lexi simply glared.
“Popcorn …”
“Done it.”
“Snow fort …”
“Done it.”
“Postcards …”
“Done it, and I still have the stamp.”
“Islands?”
“Done it.”
“Plates of spaghetti?”
“Done it.”
Lexi threw herself back in her chair. “Let’s face it, Caroline, we’ve transformed into everything we’ve ever wanted to.”
“I know,” Caroline nodded. “It’s so hard to come up with anything new.”
They sat together, deep in thought.
Caroline leapt to her feet. “I know! We could go bowling!”
Lexi frowned. “Done that. Remember? I almost dropped you on my foot? I had to knock down Gena with you?”
“No, no, no!” Caroline waved her hands madly. “I mean, we could go bowling! We’ve never done that before! Like, without any potion. Just go and have fun!”
Lexi caught on. “Just two girls out for the night!”
“In really terrible bowling shoes!”
“And maybe some cocktails after!”
“That’d be great! Oh, but we need to watch out for those two drunk girls - you know the ones.”
“Don’t worry, Space Heater, I think they’re on their honeymoon.”
“Well, let’s get going then!”
And arm in arm, Lexi and Caroline - true friends forever - walked out into the night.
And somewhere else …
“What did you want to do tonight, Lance?”
“I dunno, Barbara. What did you want to do?”