TF (multiple, animal, inanimate, clothing)

For me, the best music is the old music. I guess it's got a lot to do with how old you were when the bug hit, but rock back in the 1960s and '70s wasn't just entertainment. It had meaning. It was plugged into the youth gestalt. It was sexy and thoughtful all in one package. Fuelled by free love, revolution and transformation potions.

Leading the way were, of course, the Beatles. I remember watching Magical Mystery Tour back in 1968. Seeing John Lennon sing I Am The Walrus while transforming into an actual walrus blew my tiny mind.

Of course, where the Beatles went, others followed. I got into the Rolling Stones through their album Beggars Banquet, where they'd transformed into items of food. Honky Tonk Women, which brought transgender potions into the mix, was also fantastic. Mick made a lovely woman. I wasn't surprised when he and Keith Richards got married.

(Not a fan of Sticky Fingers, though. Never got into the goo thing.)

My first concert was seeing the Who in 1970. What a night! They were doing Tommy, although Roger Daltrey had stopped becoming an actual deaf, dumb and blind boy between songs after that unfortunate incident in Amsterdam when he'd fallen off the stage. Still, seeing the band smash all their instruments at the end, and then dismember each other, was amazing.

As the '70s wore on, I made a point of seeing all of the big bands. What memories I have! The members of Led Zeppelin floating out over the audience. Pink Floyd becoming very pink, and very floyd. The chameleon-like David Bowie as an actual chameleon.

I eventually ended up following the Grateful Dead on tour. Seeing those six skeletons jam was fantastic. Funny how it was always really
easy to tell which one was Jerry.

As the '70s wore on, though, it seemed like bands were running out of ideas. I don't care how good the Eagles' songs are, seeing five bald eagles trying to play their instruments wasn't fun.

I remember seeing Hall and Oates. Daryl Hall transforming from a skinny white guy into a big black guy struck me as being racially
problematic even back in 1978. What really annoyed me was seeing the other one, John something (can't remember his last name, sorry), just transform into a boulder and sit on the side of the stage all night. He did nothing!

Watching Eric Clapton turn into a guitar and play himself all night just seemed really masturbatory. And as for Meat Loaf ... yech ...

I can't remember the last concert I went to. Oh yeah, wait, it was back in the early 1990s. My wife wanted to see Madonna. Yeah, it was
pretty fun to see a singing pointy bra being passed from dancer to dancer, but let's face it, she just doesn't have the songs.

I guess I knew I was officially past-it when I took my daughter to see the Spice Girls' movie back in 1998 or so. I got so confused, I turned to her about halfway through and said "Aren't there five members of the Spice Girls?"

I could hear the eye-rolling. "There are, dad. That's what this whole scene is about. The other four are arguing about who gets to wear
Victoria Beckham next."