I had been in a relationship of sorts with this headless girl for two months now. I wouldn’t be able to keep her a secret forever. I suppose it was time to own up to it and introduce her to my friends. She was already well known online, but most people still thought it was a special effect or some optical illusion. I invited my friend James over to see what would happen. He messaged me back. “Hey man, you’ve kinda vanished the last couple months, where have you been? What have you been doing all this time?” I replied, “Come over to my place and I’ll explain everything.”

Around 6pm, the doorbell rang and we greeted each other. James eyeballed a figure on the couch. It was a gorgeous woman wearing a very tight, low-cut red dress with a miniskirt and heels. James was stunned at her incredible natural curves. She sat with her long legs crossed and leaning forward, exposing her amazing cleavage. Very oddly… her head was covered by a paper bag.

“Woah… uh… who is that?” James stammered. “Oh, that’s just my girlfriend.” I replied. “You have a… that’s your girlfriend?!” He leaned over and whispered into my ear. “She isn’t an escort, is she? She kind of looks like one.” I laughed. “No, no! Here, let me introduce you.” We walked over and I tapped her on the shoulder. She waved and stood up with her hand on the paper bag, carefully making sure it didn’t fall off. She offered to shake his hand and he took it, all while eyeballing her up and down. “Uh… hi. I’m James. Uh… what’s up with the paper bag?” I put my hand on James’s shoulder. “You’re going to want to be sitting down for this.” He looked confused and sat in an adjacent chair.

“So... uh… the bag…” now I was getting nervous. “Have you heard about this headless girl who has been making the rounds online?” James rubbed his chin. “That instagram model who photoshops her head out of all her pictures? I guess. Sounds like a weirdo.” I gulped. “Well, what if I told you that she was right here, and she really doesn’t have a head?” James shook his head. “I’d tell you you’re full of shit.” “Well…” I replied hesitantly, walked over to her and removed the bag.

James did a double take, screamed and fell backwards in his chair. The girl must have felt the vibrations though her body and threw up her hands in panic as well. “Dude, relax! Relax! Take a deep breath. She isn’t going to bite you.” I said trying to call him down. “No shit she isn’t going to bite me. What kind of unholy abomination is this? This has to be some mirror trick, right?” I shook my head. “Nope, she’s real. Don’t worry… she isn’t like… a ghost or a zombie or anything. She’s harmless.” James started to calm his breath but he was still shaking like a leaf. “I can’t believe what I’m seeing.”

James stared at her intently. He mustered up his courage and walked back over to her. He glanced at the flat, empty spot atop her neck where her head should be. Instead it was covered in skin and had two holes in the middle.  “She… looks like a department store mannequin. But… alive. What the hell?” He touched the top of her neck stump, she squirmed and he jumped back. “She’s a little ticklish there.” I told him. James shook his head. “Jesus Christ…”

James took a deep breath. “I’m uh… sorry for the way I reacted. Let’s try this again. Hi, I’m James.” He waved. He waited for a response but got none. He turned to me. “She can’t talk, can she?” I shook my head. “Nope.” “Lucky…” he remarked. “So… what’s her name?” I scratched the back of my neck sheepishly. “Well… this is kind of awkward but… I don’t actually know her name.” James took a deep breath. “Okay, so let me get this straight. You have been dating a woman who has no goddamn head for a couple months.” “Uh huh.” I nodded. “Have you been sleeping with her?” he continued. “Hey now, that’s private! But, I mean, yes, of course. Just look at her. That’s basically all she wants to do.” James’s eyeball began twitching. “And you have never seen her face.” “Nope, can’t say I have. I don’t know if she even ever had one to begin with.” “So you have been doing all this… AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HER GODDAMN NAME?!” I shrugged. He sighed. “Good lord man, what the hell is wrong with you?” My face turned bright red with embarrassment. “Well… I guess I’m only attracted to women from the neck down?”

The headless girl stretched her arms and legs and arched her back. James put his hand on my shoulder. “Well man… when she has a body like that, I can’t blame you. I think I’m starting to see the appeal.” I had sigh of relief and we laughed a bit.