A wife and mother with no religious background senses God has been putting her in situations to do his work and is drawing her to herself. When her friend wants to talk to her about God and salvation and eternal life, she’s ready to listen.
But God Pursued Her, Part 4 consists of the following chapters:
Chapter 11 – Saved
Victor went home and filled Jazmyn in on his discussion with Pastor Jack and Bruce, including the part about agreeing to have Bruce disciple him. Jazmyn was pleased to hear it went so well, and that Victor was willing to get more involved. Then he said, “I told them both that you could do a lot worse than to join their church. If you want to do it, you have my blessing.”
At the time, Jazmyn was sitting on the sofa, and Victor was in a chair facing her. But when he said that, her face lit up, and she immediately got down from the sofa, walked briskly on her hands across the room, climbed up in his lap, and began kissing him passionately. When they came up for air, she said to him, “Thank you for that! You have no idea how happy that makes me! That church feels like where I’m meant to be, and the people there feel like family. More than family, really, because we have a spiritual connection as well as an emotional one.”
“It’s feeling right to me, too,” Victor replied, “even after only one time there.”
“I have a request, my Lover,” Jazmyn said to her husband. His facial expression indicated that she should proceed with making her request. “One evening this week, I’d like to have some extended, uninterrupted time alone to talk to God. To do that, I’ll need you to take responsibility for the kids and keep them from disturbing me. Would you please do that for me?”
Victor knew what she was planning to do, and he was fine with it. “Of course, my Beloved, it’ll be my pleasure,” he replied. “Let’s plan on tomorrow evening.”
The next day, the kids were on Jazmyn’s nerves like never before. Both of the boys were fussy and wanted to be held, and they each vomited a couple of times, managing to get it on Jazmyn each time. Valeria was clingy and she wanted to be held all day as well. Jazmyn tried to get some work done and make a few phone calls for the charity, but it was an exercise in futility due to the constant interruptions. Also because of the distractions, the casserole she’d made for dinner was overcooked, something that almost never happened.
Victor immediately knew it had been a difficult day when he walked in the door. All three kids were crying, and Jazmyn looked like she hadn’t had a minute to herself to even take a shower. She was in the kitchen trying to make gravy to moisten up their dried-out dinner, but it smelled like she’d managed to scorch it. The clothes dryer was running, even though she never did laundry on a Tuesday, as she’d had to wash all of the vomit-covered clothing. The faint smell of vomit still permeated the house.
Victor came up behind Jazmyn and kissed her on the cheek and said, “Rough day, huh?”
“You could say that, yeah,” Jazmyn replied, turning to reciprocate the kiss. “It’s okay, though,” she continued. “I know exactly what’s going on. Satan’s trying to keep me from doing what I have planned this evening, but it won’t work. You know me; I never let anything stop me from doing what I have my mind set on. You might have your work cut out for you more than you anticipated this evening, though. I hope you’re up for it.”
“Bring it on!” he replied enthusiastically, but in his mind he wondered what he was in for.
Victor ate his dried-out meal topped with scorched gravy without complaint as he listened to Jazmyn recount her day. He was impressed that she did so in a manner-of-fact way, without any hint of frustration or other negative emotion. “I’m surprised you don’t seem bothered by all of that,” he said in response.
“Frankly, I am, too,” Jazmyn replied. “I can’t explain it; I just have an inner peace that’s letting me take everything in stride today.”
After dinner, Victor took over, putting away the food and cleaning up and doing his best to keep the kids quiet. Jazmyn retreated to their bedroom and shut and locked the door. She got a pair of noise-cancelling headphones and sat on the bed, put on the headphones, and closed her eyes. She then tried to purge her mind of any distracting thoughts and completely focus on God. At first, she considered how good God is, how much he loved her unconditionally, how he had seemed to take a special interest in her, and how he had arranged events in her life to do his work and to draw her to him, even before she realized it was him. Jazmyn didn’t pray verbally as she contemplated these things, rather she just thought about them as she worked on developing an attitude of gratitude.
Next she considered her own condition. She knew she was born a sinner, incapable of refraining from sinning against God and others despite her best efforts. She knew God’s standard wasn’t for one’s good to outweigh their bad, but rather it was complete sinlessness from cradle to grave. Even if she somehow could stop sinning, she couldn’t do anything about the countless sins she’d already committed. It was impossible to live up to God’s standard.
She tried to recall some of her most significant sins, as well as some of her most recent sins, as tears streamed down her face. She could literally feel God’s deep disappointment at the same time she could feel his limitless, unconditional love. It grieved her to think about how she had so utterly failed God, and she fell prostrate on the bed as she sobbed. The only possible thing she could do was to beg for the mercy she didn’t deserve.
Jazmyn then shifted to thinking about God’s provision for her sins to be forgiven once and for all. She considered how he knew from the beginning he’d have to send his Son to save his creation from themselves by taking their sins upon himself and suffering and dying in their place. She made it real by making it personal – God sent his Son to save her by taking her sins upon himself and suffering and dying in her place so that she could be in fellowship with him. She considered what she had learned about how utterly barbaric Jesus’ executioners were to him, and how crucifixion was perhaps the most inhumane method of execution ever devised.
Even worse, while Jesus hung dying on the cross, bearing the sins of mankind, God the Father turned his back on him and cut him off from his presence. This was worse than all of the physical torture, and it was also the eternal fate of sinners who never received forgiveness. The thought of all of this caused her to continue to sob uncontrollably because he had endured all of this for her.
After all of that, Jazmyn felt that she was finally ready to believe in Jesus. Not just believe that he existed or that he had done all of that for her, but believe in the meaning of the original Greek word. Completely and without reservation put her full trust in him to take her sins upon himself and forgive her so that she could be blameless in the eyes of the Father, as he had promised. Completely and without reservation submit herself to him.
Jazmyn tried to replicate the way she completely and fully submitted her entire being to Victor when she was approaching subspace, completely yielding her will to his, completely and unconditionally trusting him with her very life, freeing herself from any ability to control her own destiny and placing her fate entirely in his hands. Jazmyn figured she had to submit to Jesus at least as much as she did Victor, if not more so.
It was different, though. First, there was no subspace involved, and second, when she did this with Victor, it was temporary, only for the duration of the altered state of consciousness called subspace. With Jesus, she knew she owed him nothing less than to submit to him this way permanently.
Without subspace looming, Jazmyn had no point of reference to know when she had sufficiently submitted, so she just concentrated on staying in this state of complete submission to Jesus for what seemed like a long time. And then, finally, she knew. She couldn’t explain it, but somehow she just knew that all of her sins, past, present, and future, had been completely and irreversibly forgiven.
The emotions associated with that realization were completely overwhelming, and all she could do was to wail “Thank you, Jesus!” over and over again as she smiled and laughed and sobbed all at once.
Jazmyn was loud enough to be heard from the living room, and Valeria made eye contact with her father with a look of alarm on her face. “Is Mommy okay?” she asked him.
Victor, though, was beaming with pride for his wife. He held out his arms indicating that Valeria should come to him so he could hold her on his lap. Once she was there, he said to her, “Don’t worry, honey. Mommy’s more than okay. She’s better than she’s ever been in her entire life.”
“It sounds like she’s crying,” Valeria observed.
“She is, but it’s the happy kind of crying,” Victor explained.
Valeria was still concerned and confused. “Why is she so happy, and why is she thanking Jesus?” the little girl asked.
“Do you know what sin is, Valeria?”
She nodded her head to indicate she did. “It’s when you do something bad.”
“Do you know what it means to forgive someone, or to be forgiven?”
“It’s when you say you’re sorry, and the other person says ‘That’s okay.’”
“Very good,” Victor replied. It was a pretty articulate explanation for someone her age.
“Mommy’s been in there praying to Jesus to ask him to forgive her sins. All of the sins she’s ever done in her entire life. Even the sins she’ll do in the future,” Victor explained.
“Did he forgive her?” Valeria asked.
“He must have, for her to be saying ‘Thank you, Jesus!’ and happy crying like that.” A tear started running down Victor’s cheek.
“Why are you crying, Daddy?” his daughter asked him.
“I’m happy crying, too, honey. I’m very happy that Jesus forgave Mommy’s sins.”
“Did Jesus forgive your sins, too, Daddy?” Valeria asked.
“Not yet, honey,” he replied.
“Why not?” she asked.
“Because I haven’t asked him yet,” Victor responded frankly.
This made no sense to Valeria. Why hadn’t he asked him? “Well, you should,” she said with wisdom beyond her years.
“I know I should. I will someday, when I’m ready.”
“Does Jesus forgive kids’ sins if they ask him?” Valeria then asked. “Or just grownups?”
“He’ll forgive kids’ sins, too,” her father answered.
“I want him to forgive my sins,” she responded sincerely.
This started Victor crying openly, and he hugged his little daughter tightly. His ears had never heard any words so sweet. “Someday, my little one,” Victor managed to choke out, “I’m sure he will.”
When Jazmyn got her emotions sufficiently under control, still in the locked bedroom, she called her Christian mentor Hope and shared the good news that she was now saved. Hope wanted to hear all the details, so Jazmyn walked her through her experience, though minimizing her history of deeply submitting to Victor and not mentioning subspace at all. Hope was thrilled for Jazmyn, and offered her her sincere congratulations.
Then Hope asked, “Are you going to go forward on Sunday?”
“What’s going forward?” Jazmyn asked in reply.
“You know, at the end of the service when Pastor Jack invites anyone who’s accepted the Lord or wants to join the church to come to the front and talk to him?” Hope responded.
“Oh, yeah. I suppose I should, then, since both are true,” said Jazmyn.
“You’ll want to let Pastor Jack know, then. I wouldn’t put it off, because I’m sure he’ll want to see you in person and talk to you about how you got saved. It’ll be less awkward if you go forward when he’s expecting you and has already talked to you about it.”
“Why, what would happen if he weren’t expecting me?” Jazmyn asked.
“If he’s heard your salvation testimony and is satisfied it’s real, he’ll say so and recommend you for church membership, contingent on you being baptized, and he’ll have the congregation vote on it right then. The vote is always unanimously in favor. If you blindside him, he’ll announce that you’re claiming you’re saved and desire membership, but that he needs to talk to you about it first.”
“Okay, then, I’ll send him a text right after I get off the phone with you. Do you have his number?” Hope provided it and Jazmyn sent the text.
Jazmyn: Hi, Pastor Jack, this is Jazmyn Alvarez. I’m Hope’s friend in the wheelchair. I became a believer tonight. Hope said you’d want to know.
Jack: That’s wonderful news, Jazmyn! Congratulations! I met Victor last night and he said you were close to doing that. I’d like to meet with you both. Are you free Thursday evening?
Jazmyn: I think so, but let me check with Victor.
Jazmyn hopped down off the bed and opened the bedroom door. “Victor, are you doing anything Thursday evening?” she asked like nothing had happened.
Victor was surprised that was the first thing she had to say after an obviously intense and life-changing experience. “No, why?” he asked.
“Pastor Jack wants to meet with us then. I’m going to tell him that’s fine, okay?”
“Sure,” Victor replied, now even more puzzled. Jazmyn closed the door and continued her text conversation with Pastor Jack.
Jazmyn: Thursday evening will work for us.
Jack: Is 7 pm at your place okay?
Jazmyn: Yes, if you don’t mind our three kids being a distraction.
Jack: When’s their bedtime?
Jazmyn: We put the babies down at 7:30 and our almost 4 year old down at about 8.
Jack: How about 8:30 pm then? Is that too late?
Jazmyn: No, 8:30 is fine. Do you have our address?
Jack: Probably, but please send it just in case. See you at 8:30 on Thursday.
Jazmyn texted him their address, and then headed for the living room. By this time, Valeria was already asleep. “Hi,” she said to Victor as she joined him on the sofa.
“Hi yourself,” he replied. “Valeria and I heard you in there. I assume you’re saved now?” he said, more as a question that a statement.
“Yes, I’m saved, beyond the shadow of a doubt,” she said with a big smile.
“Congratulations, then.” Victor said.
“Everyone keeps saying that, but I didn’t do anything except believe. God did all the work,” Jazmyn replied.
“Who’s everyone?” Victor asked, wondering who she talked to about it before him.
“Hope and Pastor Jack. I called Hope to tell her since she’s been mentoring me all these months. She said I needed to tell Pastor Jack, too, so I texted him. He’s coming over at 8:30 pm on Thursday.
“What did Valeria hear?” Jazmyn asked.
“She heard you saying ‘Thank you Jesus’ over and over while you were happy crying. We talked about it, and I explained that Jesus had just forgiven your sins, since I was pretty sure that’s what happened. She said that she wanted Jesus to forgive her sins, too.” Victor suddenly got very emotional and could barely speak. “It was the cutest thing. She was so earnest,” he managed to choke out. “I was so proud of her!” he added.
Jazmyn wished she could have witnessed that conversation. The thought of it made her emotional, too.
Chapter 12 – Pastor Jack
The doorbell rang at precisely 8:30 pm on Thursday evening. Victor answered it, and he and Pastor Jack exchanged wisecracks about seeing each other again so soon. Victor took his coat, invited him to find a seat in the living room, and offered him a beverage. Pastor Jack declined the beverage and the two men went into the living room and sat down, Victor on the sofa and the clergyman in a chair. Victor explained that Jazmyn was still putting Valeria to bed and would be out momentarily.
A minute or two later, Jazmyn came into the living room on her skateboard, went up to Pastor Jack, greeted him, thanked him for coming and shook his hand, and then hoisted herself up onto the sofa next to her husband, and snuggled close to him. Seeing this surprised Pastor Jack; he’d only ever seen Jazmyn in her wheelchair. “What happened to your wheelchair, Jazmyn?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she replied. “It’s just easier to get around like this at home, especially with littles.”
“So, you said you became a believer the other night. Why don’t you share with me what happened? Actually, start earlier, and first share with me what led you to that point.”
“Okay,” Jazmyn replied. She gave the highlights about saving the life of the man on the beach in Puerto Rico, meeting Hope’s sister Faith in the Miami airport, and then visiting Hope and leading her out of the pit of despair she was in due to her own recent amputations. She then spoke of becoming good friends with Hope and the two of them starting a charity along with Victor, and about how Hope began talking to her about God. She explained that Hope had been discipling her for about the past year.
“What is your religious background, Jazmyn?” Pastor Jack asked.
“I had no religious background whatsoever,” she replied, “except that my family celebrated Christmas. But we were entirely focused on the Santa and Rudolph and Grinch aspects of the holiday, and barely anything about Baby Jesus. Hope had to really start from scratch with me, because I knew practically nothing.
“So, do you want to hear about Tuesday evening now?” Jazmyn asked.
“By all means,” Pastor Jack replied.
“Well, I knew what I needed to do; it was just a matter of finding the right time to do it. I knew that once I became saved I would want to get baptized and join a church right away, and I wanted to join a church that Victor was okay with, in hopes that he would someday join me. I really wanted him to visit your church, because I was already very comfortable there. So this past Sunday he did, and Monday evening after he met with you he told me he approved of me joining.
“So Tuesday evening, Victor took care of the kids and I locked myself in our bedroom.” Jazmyn then recalled her experience that evening, again, avoiding taking about the way she deeply submitted to Victor in order to visit subspace. “And then I suddenly just knew I was saved. I could feel it in my bones. It was extremely emotional for me. I couldn’t stop crying and thanking Jesus over and over. Then I called Hope to tell her, and she said I should tell you as well. And so here we are.”
“Well, welcome to God’s family, Jazmyn,” Pastor Jack said in reply. “Hope has obviously done a good job discipling you. I can’t find any reason not to call you my sister in Christ.
“Now if I may, I’d like to ask you some personal questions, both of you, partly to get to know you better, and partly to be prepared for any concerns anyone might have about you. Let’s start out with some easy ones. What do each of you do for a living, now and previously?”
“I’m a certified financial planner and a Marine Corps veteran,” Victor offered.
“Thank you for your service, Victor,” Pastor Jack replied. “How about you, Jazmyn?”
“I worked in a coffee shop for nine years before the twins came along, first as a barista, and later as the assistant manager. Now I draw a part-time salary running our charity and I’m a full-time mommy.”
“Victor, what is your ethnicity? I know you’re Hispanic, but from where?” Pastor Jack asked.
“My family comes from Puerto Rico, but I was born and raised on Long Island, New York.”
“How long have you two been married?”
“Four plus years. Five years in April.”
“How old are your kids?”
“Valeria will turn four in January; our twin boys Ben and Dan are five months old.”
Pastor Jack then asked, “How and when did you lose your legs, Jazmyn?”
She replied, “Do you remember that tornado that hit the shopping center on Kennedy Boulevard about four and half years ago?” Pastor Jack nodded. Memories of that day were seared in his brain. “Well, I was in one of the stores at the time. The roof collapsed, and a beam landed on my legs, crushing them beyond any hope of repair.”
“That must have been horrific,” Pastor Jack replied. “How did you get through that without God to lean on?”
“I don’t know, honestly,” Jazmyn replied. “I had this peace about it, that it was somehow my destiny. Only later did I realize that God wanted me to be this way, because he had things he needed a girl with no legs to do, but even then, I never once blamed God for doing this to me. I was completely okay with it, because I could see him working through me, and I trusted him. This was still well before I really knew much of anything about him. So when Hope wanted to talk to me about God, I was pretty receptive.”
“Remarkable,” Pastor Jack said in reply.
“If I understand correctly, you got married, got pregnant, and lost your legs all at about the same time,” he noted.
“That’s right. We’d been married a little over two months, and I was six weeks pregnant when that tornado hit. I was actually in the drug store buying a home pregnancy test at the time,” Jazmyn explained.
“And your daughter also lost her legs? Is that right?”
“Not quite. She was born with no legs.”
“How on earth did that happen?”
“It’s a mystery. But the doctor told us that a baby’s limbs begin to develop right at about six weeks. He thinks that something related to the trauma of the injury or the combination of drugs I was given caused that process to not happen as it should.”
“So it’s possible that you both lost your legs from the same accident?” Pastor Jack asked incredulously.
“Probably so, except that I wouldn’t call it an accident,” Jazmyn replied. “Nor do we call what happened to Valeria a birth defect. I’m convinced that it was God’s will for both of us, and that he made her perfectly for whatever purpose he has in mind. I’ve seen how he’s used me since then. I can’t wait to see how he uses Valeria!” she said with excitement in her voice.
“Remarkable!” Pastor Jack exclaimed.
Jazmyn suggested, “Sometime when you see her, ask Valeria why she has no legs, and then ask her follow-up questions. She knows she was made that way for a reason.”
“I’ll be sure to do that,” he replied.
Then he asked, “Victor, what’s your take on all of this? Your bride of two months losing both her legs… That must have been hard for you to accept. And then your baby girl, too.”
Victor replied, “I didn’t marry Jazmyn for her legs, although they were quite nice to look at.” All three of them smiled as he said that. “I married her for who she is. But after this happened, to my amazement, she became a better version of herself. I call her Jazmyn 2.0. She came out of this much stronger and determined and confident. She now has something to prove, to herself and to everyone else. And I fell even more in love with her than ever. When we found out about Valeria, I knew we, and she, would be okay, because of Jazmyn’s positive attitude about her own circumstances.”
“Remarkable!” Pastor Jack exclaimed again. “So, Jazmyn, is there some significance to that gold band you always wear around your neck?” he asked. “It’s most unusual.”
Jazmyn immediately looked very uncomfortable, and she had no idea what or how much she should say. She looked to her husband to rescue her, and said to him, “Victor, do you want to take this one?”
Victor said, “Sure,” and he replied to Pastor Jack’s question. “Remember the other day when I said there’s group of secular people who’ve discovered that biblical-style relationships work best for them? It’s not an organized group in any way, but more of a culture, I guess. Well, in that culture, a neck band like this symbolizes a lifetime commitment to be submissive to one’s partner. It’s called an eternity collar, and like it sounds, it’s intended to be worn for life. It carries the same significance that a wedding ring carries for a married person. Of course, we’re also married, so we wear those, too.
“Only the submissive partner can ask for an eternity collar, and only the dominant partner can decide whether to give it and put it on. Both have to be completely happy with the nature of the relationship and want it to become permanent. It’s a high honor for both partners for the submissive partner, or sub, to wear such a collar. It shows that she is completely happy with the way I take the lead role in our relationship, and I’m completely happy with the way she willingly submits to my leading.”
“I’ve never heard of such a thing before,” Pastor Jack admitted.
“I’m sure the overwhelming majority of people in this culture are unchurched, so you probably wouldn’t have encountered them much in your line of work,” Victor suggested.
“I suppose not,” the pastor agreed.
“I told you that my brother and his wife introduced us to this lifestyle, and my sister-in-law also wears such a collar,” Victor added.
“So tell me more about how your relationship works, if you would,” requested Pastor Jack. “It’s been my experience that when a couple talks openly about the wife being submissive, it’s an abusive relationship where the man demands that the woman submit to him, and she only does so out of fear and lack of options. Either that, or the woman is so completely lacking in self-esteem that she takes on the role of a servant, which the man does nothing to discourage.
“In your case, Bruce Rogers assures me that you fit neither of those stereotypes, and yours is actually a healthy marriage the way the Bible intended it to be. That’s also the vibe I’m getting seeing the two of you interact. Victor, you were talking about how strong Jazmyn is and how proud of her you are for being that way. Those are not the things a man with a submissive wife would ordinarily say. So I’m at a loss to understand your marriage dynamic.”
Victor explained. “This culture completely rejects abusive or co-dependent relationships. It stresses that the submissive partner must choose to be that way completely willingly and from a position of strength, not weakness. I hold the power only because she entrusts me with it and relinquishes it. For her to be willing to do that, a sub must implicitly trust her partner to always do what’s in her best interest. He must have both the desire and the competence to do that in the most loving way possible. That trust can only be earned over time though experience.
“Actually, both partners always try to build each other up and willingly serve each other and always seek what’s best for the other. The only difference is that the dominant partner has the right to tell the submissive partner what to do, but the reverse is not true. The submissive partner willingly accepts that, and doesn’t push back, even if it’s not what she would have chosen to do, because she trusts her partner that much.
“On the other hand, if she feels that he doesn’t have all the facts or is making a bad decision, she’s obligated to respectfully tell him that, and he’s obligated to respectfully hear what she has to say. A smart dominant will seek and value the input of his submissive proactively so he can make the best choices possible. The final decision is always his, though, but so is all of the responsibility. If things go badly because of a poor decision on his part, the blame is always entirely his, never hers.”
Pastor Jack asked, “Jazmyn, is Victor accurately portraying your relationship?”
She replied confidently, “Every word he said is completely true,” as she looked up at him and smiled contentedly.
“Utterly remarkable!” he exclaimed. I don’t know any Christian who has a marriage as close to the biblical standard as that, including myself.”
“So what is this lifestyle or culture called? I want to read more about it.” Pastor Jack said.
“I haven’t told you that intentionally,” Victor replied. “It’s actually a subset of a larger movement that has a stigma and negative connotations associated with it, and there are other aspects to it that you would probably find abhorrent. We personally don’t subscribe to those parts of it, but most people would probably assume it’s either all or nothing.”
“Hmmm….” Pastor Jack said, now not knowing what to think. “Does Bruce know about this?” he asked.
Victor replied, “We actually asked him about it some time ago, wondering if some of the things we practice would be considered sins. We didn’t go into any detail beyond telling him a shorter version of what we told you about our relationship dynamic. We also said that we were into what might be considered ‘kinky bedroom stuff’. He didn’t want to know the details, but he did ask us some questions, and he was satisfied with our answers and concluded there was likely no sin involved.”
“What were the questions, and what were your answers?” Pastor Jack asked.
“Let me try to recall,” Victor said. “He asked if what we did involved anyone besides the two of us, and we told him no. He asked if we took photos or videos of what we did, and again the answer was no. He asked if there was any occultism or witchcraft or the like involved, and again we said no. He asked if everything was completely consensual and done in love, and we told him yes. He then told us God was not as much of a prude as he’s made out to be, and concluded that, based on our answers, he couldn’t see how it would be sinful.”
“I would concur with that conclusion,” Pastor Jack offered. “It’s probably best if you didn’t tell me any more. Thank you for protecting me from being exposed to it. So that eternity collar… what do you say when people ask about it if you don’t think they can handle the full answer? Children, for example.”
Jazmyn replied, “I just simply say that Victor gave it to me as a gift, and that I like it, which are both true, and don’t offer any more information about it.”
“That’s a good response,” agreed Pastor Jack. “You should probably say something to that effect if anyone from church asks about it, unless you know them well enough to know they could handle more.”
“Is there anything else I should know about you that we haven’t discussed?” Pastor Jack asked.
“Probably this,” Jazmyn offered. “I have a brother who’s gay and married to another man. Between when Valeria and the twins were born, I was a surrogate mother and carried another set of twins for them. I enjoy being pregnant, and may want to be a surrogate mother again in the future.”
“Hmmm… Were the twins you carried for them biologically yours?” the pastor asked.
“No,” Jazmyn replied.
“I don’t see a problem, but it might be wise to only be a surrogate for infertile straight couples in the future, and refrain from donating your own eggs to the cause. I’m not saying to do otherwise is a sin, but there are people who think it is.”
“That’s pretty much what I was planning,” Jazmyn offered. “It doesn’t look like my brother and his husband want any more kids anyway.”
Then Pastor Jack said, “Here’s what I’d like to do. Jazmyn, I would like you to meet one-on-one with my wife. Maybe you can do that sometime on Saturday. Assuming that goes well, which I have no doubts it will, then at the end of the service on Sunday, during the last song, I’d like you to join me at the front of the sanctuary. I will then introduce you to the congregation, explain that you’ve informed me you’ve become a believer, and that we’ve talked and I’m satisfied that you are. I’ll then tell them that you are requesting believer’s baptism and church membership. I’ll then ask the congregation to vote on whether to accept you as a member, contingent on that baptism. That’s just a formality; the vote is always unanimous. Then I’ll invite you, Victor, to join your wife, and ask everyone to come up and greet and welcome you.
“Within the next several weeks, I’ll baptize you during one of our services. We’ll choose a date that works for both of us and anyone else who’s also being baptized. I would encourage you to invite your family and friends to attend that, especially if they’re unchurched. It’s a great way to get them to start asking questions about God and salvation.”
Chapter 13 – Trish
Jazmyn met with Pastor Jack’s wife Trish on Saturday morning at their home. When she pulled up, she immediately saw that she couldn’t use her wheelchair, as there were several steps leading to their front door. She left her wheelchair in the car, walked to the front door on her hands, and rang the doorbell. Trish opened the door and was mortified to see that Jazmyn was the young woman with no legs she’d seen at church. “I am so sorry, Jazmyn! Jack told me your name but I couldn’t put a face with it and he didn’t mention you were disabled. Come in, please! We could have met at the church or somewhere else had I known. We still can if you’d prefer.”
“It’s not a problem, Trish,” Jazmyn replied. “I’m used to this sort of thing, and I’m not disabled anyway; I’m differently-abled, so I don’t need a wheelchair to get around. Where are we going to meet?”
“I was thinking in Jack’s study, if that’s okay,” Trish replied. “Will you need help getting up into a chair?” she asked.
“I shouldn’t, unless it’s a flimsy folding chair,” said Jazmyn. Trish said it wasn’t, and led her to the study. Jazmyn pulled herself up into one of the chairs facing the desk. Trish sat behind the desk.
Trish was still extremely embarrassed and started apologizing again. Jazmyn told her, “Trish, please let it go. I’m not offended or upset. It’s just one of those things that happens sometimes. This isn’t the first time I’ve been in a home that isn’t wheelchair accessible, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. Now, Pastor Jack didn’t explain to me the purpose of this meeting, so why don’t you fill me in?”
Trish tried to gather her composure. “Okay,” she said, and then paused while she collected her thoughts. “Jack said that you’re in a submissive relationship with your husband, and that’s kind of a red flag. Many such relationships are abusive or co-dependent. I’m not saying yours is, but he wanted to give you a chance away from your husband to talk candidly with another woman in case it is.”
Jazmyn laughed. “I can assure you, Victor is the most loving man I know. He does an exemplary job as husband and head of the family, and I gladly submit to his leading.” Trish looked skeptical. Jazmyn then educated her pastor’s wife on the Ephesians 5 passage, patiently explaining and giving examples of how Victor fulfilled his biblical responsibilities and how fortunate she was to have a husband worthy of being submitted to, and how submitting to him was so satisfying for her.
Trish said, “But I thought you were a brand-new Christian, and your husband wasn’t saved at all.”
“That’s right,” Jazmyn replied.
“How could you possibly have such a biblical marriage, then? Even my marriage isn’t anything like the Ephesians 5 description, and I’m a pastor’s wife,” Trish said, somewhat wistfully.
Jazmyn then repeated much of what she and Victor had explained to Pastor Jack two nights earlier. Like then, she kept it very vague about how a group of secular people ignorant of the Bible had somehow discovered the biblical model for marriage worked best for them, and that she and Victor had been introduced to and had embraced this lifestyle well before they realized it was biblical.
Jazmyn summed things up. “If both husband and wife truly make the effort to live like Ephesians 5 calls them to, in my experience, they’ll have a marriage they never thought possible.”
Trish just looked at her very sadly, and quietly said, “I want a marriage like yours.” Then she started crying. "We of all people should know how to have a biblical marriage, and I guess we do know, but we just can’t seem to put it into practice.”
Jazmyn said to her, “Trish, come around from behind the desk, push the other chair next to mine, and sit down.” Trish complied without questioning why. Then Jazmyn said, “I thought you could use a good hug,” and Trish nodded as she cried louder. The two women wrapped their arms around each other and held on for dear life as Trish cried her heart out.
Once she finished, Trish said to Jazmyn, “Please don’t breathe a word of this to anyone. If word got out that our marriage wasn’t all it was supposed to be, it could really hurt Jack’s career. We would lose the respect of the congregation. They might even ask him to leave.”
“Don’t worry; I won’t open my mouth without your okay,” Jazmyn said. She thought for a minute. “I’ve been doing peer counseling for other amputees for about a year and a half now, starting with Hope Rogers. Maybe it’s time I expanded my repertoire and began doing peer counseling for other wives, too.”
Trish observed, “But marriage involves two people. In my experience, both spouses have to be committed to fixing a troubled marriage or it’ll never happen. You can counsel the wives all you want, but if no one’s counseling their husbands, it’ll be for naught.”
“Do you think Pastor Jack would be receptive to counseling? I bet Victor would be willing,” Jazmyn suggested.
“I don’t know. I can certainly ask him,” Trish replied.
“In the meantime, if you want, you can do what I started doing. I learned about the benefits of a submissive relationship before Victor did. I decided to experiment, and tried to be submissive to him before he was worthy of my submission, just to see if he’d notice and start stepping up himself.”
“How did that go?” asked Trish.
“He noticed more than he stepped up. But then he wanted to know what was going on, why I was acting differently, and so I told him. He decided that he could try to change too, and he started learning how to be a good Dom. Once he consciously made the effort, things got better fast, for both of us.”
“Wait, what’s a Dom?” Trish asked.
“I’m sorry,” Jazmyn said. “In this culture we’re part of, the two partners aren’t necessarily married, and the submissive partner isn’t even necessarily the woman. So we refer to them by their roles rather than by their titles or genders. The submissive partner is called just that, or the ‘sub’ for short. The non-submissive partner is called the Dominant, or the ‘Dom’ for short. So I’m the sub and Victor is the Dom in our relationship.”
“That sounds a lot like BDSM,” observed Trish.
“What do you know about BDSM?” Jazmyn asked, surprised.
“I know some things. I wasn’t always a pastor’s wife, you know,” Trish said with a knowing smile. “But I thought that was just for the bedroom, or for the dungeon,” she then said.
“Okay, this is officially getting weird now,” replied Jazmyn.
“The question is”, Trish countered, “What do you know about BDSM, Jazmyn? More than you’re letting on, I think. I get that you think it’s weird. Close your eyes and forget that I’m your pastor’s wife. Forget that I’m old enough to be your mother. Please just think of me as your friend who’s asking you for advice, because that’s what I am. Is this Dominant/submissive lifestyle you have with Victor related to BDSM, and if so, how?” Trish asked directly.
Jazmyn took Trish’s hand and closed her eyes. “Victor and I met through a BDSM dating site because we were both into bondage. We really hit it off and began a relationship. We evolved into the Dom/sub roles as a natural extension of the bondage experience, and we thought that was all there was to it. Then I learned that Victor’s brother and sister-in-law had a full-time, 24/7 Dom/sub relationship, and she, the sub, highly recommended it.
“That’s when I started being deliberately submissive to Victor even when we weren’t in bondage sessions. He noticed, and wanted to know what was going on, and I told him. He didn’t know his own brother was a full-time Dom. But Victor figured if I could try being a sub outside the bedroom, he could try being a Dom, and we could decide whether it worked for us. He talked to his brother to learn what to do. We concluded that when we were both putting forth the effort, we both found it to be highly satisfying, and our already good relationship just got better and better.
“Over time, I learned I could completely trust Victor to always have my best interests in mind. He always respected me, treated me with kindness, and loved me deeply. He made my life easier. He often knew what was best for me more than I did myself. And so it became increasingly easier to submit to his leading. It was a pleasure to submit to him. It took the pressure off of me. I didn’t have to figure out my own choices, I didn’t have to second-guess whether my choices were the right ones, and I didn’t have to feel guilty about my choices being selfish. If he tells me to do something, I just do it, and it almost always ends up being good.
“But don’t think that he just orders me around. He almost never makes it seem like an order. We freely communicate. He values and seeks my input and perspective, and he takes it into consideration. He puts my interests and well-being above his own. He takes care of me like no one has ever done before. He loves me sacrificially. And I’ll gladly submit to that for as long as I draw breath.”
Jazmyn opened her eyes and looked at her new friend. Tears were running down both of her cheeks. Trish said, “That’s the happiest story I’ve heard in my entire life! I must talk to Jack about this!” Then Trish looked serious. “We don’t have to do the bondage stuff to do the full-time Dom/sub stuff, do we? I can’t imagine he’d go for that. He’s very straight-laced.”
“No, of course not,” Jazmyn replied. “That’s just how we got into it, but you’re free to pick and choose what works for you.”
At that, they both heard the sound of Pastor Jack returning home from wherever he had been. He fully expected Trish and Jazmyn would be finished by now. When he realized they were still in the study talking, he apologized and offered to leave again.
“It’s okay, Jack, we were just finishing,” said his wife. “Come here, would you, please?” Jack entered the study. “Have a seat,” she said, and he took the open chair behind the desk.
Trish put her arm around her new friend, and then spoke. “After talking to Jazmyn, I’m convinced that she and Victor have the happiest, most successful, most biblical marriage of any couple I’ve ever heard of. She’s been the one educating me this morning. We could learn a lot from these two, and so could every couple in our congregation.”
Pastor Jack considered what Trish had said. He addressed Jazmyn. “What is it about you and Victor? The more I learn about you both, the more impressed I become.”
“I don’t know what to say, Pastor Jack,” she replied. “We’ve just been lucky, I guess.”
“No, you’re not lucky. You’re blessed. There’s a huge difference,” Pastor Jack said in response. “Somehow, God has looked down on you and decided to make you his special project. You’ve sensed that and followed his leading, and he’s blessed you accordingly. I think you’ll be much more aware of it now that you’re one of his. I couldn’t be more pleased that he led you to fellowship with us. I’m excited to see how he’s going to bless us through you, and bless others through us.”
“Again, I don’t know what to say,” Jazmyn said, now clearly embarrassed.
“Just say that you’ll be in church tomorrow and will come forward at the end of the service like we discussed,” Pastor Jack replied.
“I will,” she confirmed.
Jazmyn decided against providing any details to Victor about her conversation with Trish. She just told him the original purpose of the meeting, that it went really well and Trish was very impressed, and that she enjoyed getting to know her.