A young woman with a most unusual family discovers the joys of bondage, submission, and subspace as she contemplates her future.
As its title implies, Deeply Submissive has a heavy BDSM emphasis, especially focusing on domination and submission, subspace, and bondage.
Part 4 consists of the following chapters:
Chapter 14 – Eternally yours
Jazmyn’s recollection of what exactly she experienced leading up to, during, and following subspace was quite hazy. She had no memory of submitting herself to Victor in her head, let alone to what extent. But her unconscious mind knew. That’s why she practically begged to be his slave following her first experience. Now, following her second experience, it was again telling her she needed to be more fully submissive to him in real life.
By Sunday evening, Jazmyn was mostly recovered, but still in a vulnerable state where she would have agreed to do almost anything Victor asked her to. Victor understood this and was careful about what he asked or suggested or even hinted at. But once again, Jazmyn badly wanted to be deeply submissive to him. At dinner, she said to him, “My Lover, I know it’s not my place to ask you for anything, so this is hard for me to do, even though it’s the one exception to the rule. I most respectfully request that you accept me as your permanent submissive, and acknowledge that status by placing an eternity collar around my neck. I will take great pride that it signifies I am all yours and only yours, and will gratefully wear it for the rest of my life. I would willingly die before I would ever remove it or let anyone remove it.”
Just two days earlier, Victor had made a wish to hear those words from Jazmyn, and now his wish had come true. But he knew that she was still under the influence of subspace, so he couldn’t treat this as a legitimate request, as heartfelt as it may be. “Jazmyn, my beloved, as much as it pleases me to hear you say those words, I can’t accept them as a valid request. Not today. You’re still recovering from being in subspace, and you’re still very vulnerable and highly impressionable. In other words, you’re still not thinking completely clearly. So I ask that you give it a week and see if you still feel the same way then. If you do, then by all means, please ask again. If you don’t, or if you’re not sure, then you must not ask again until you do and you are. Please understand that I’m not saying this because I don’t think you’re worthy. I’m saying it in order to protect you from yourself. You’re not capable of objectively making any important decisions or commitments when you’re in this state. Okay?”
Tears were streaming down Jazmyn’s checks as she heard his response. It felt like a crushing rejection to her. But she still managed to say, “I submit to your authority and wisdom and accept your decision, my Lover. I will wait a week and then reconsider my request.” Knowing how emotionally fragile she was, he led her to the sofa, had her sit on his lap, and he held her tight. Then she couldn’t hold it in any longer and began sobbing.
The following Sunday evening, Jazmyn knew she was free to try again. She’d been thinking about the eternity collar request all week, and she still wanted it just as badly, perhaps more so, because now it wasn’t just an emotional reaction to the subspace experience; she had actually given it some rational thought and had weighted the pros and cons. She was having second thoughts about pledging to die before allowing the collar to be removed, though. There were legitimate reasons why it might be necessary to remove it in order to save her life, but allowing that would enable her to continue to serve and submit to her Lover, either with the collar put back on or not.
So, after dinner, Jazmyn joined Victor on the sofa and brought up the subject a second time. “My Lover, it’s been a week now since I asked for an eternity collar. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it all week. I believe I’m quite clear-headed now, as opposed to then, but I want to wear your collar even more now than I did a week ago. Then, my heart wanted it in the worst way, but my brain wasn’t capable of thinking it through. Now, my heart and my brain are both fully engaged and are in complete agreement.
Jazmyn moved to the floor and kneeled directly in front of and facing Victor. She looked him in the eyes as she restated her request, leaving out the dying part this time. But Victor didn’t immediately respond, and Jazmyn felt her throat constricting as she assumed the worst, that he was going to reject her again. Then he asked her to sit back up on the sofa next to him.
Victor held her hand, and looked lovingly into her eyes. He said to her, “Beloved, before I give you an answer, I have a request of my own, which will need an answer from you. I need you to know that this is not a request where I expect compliance on your part. I’m giving you complete freedom to respond how you want, including not giving an answer if you need time to think it over. In fact, I insist that you respond however you want, and not how you think I want.”
It was now Victor who moved to a kneeling position on the floor in front of Jazmyn. “Jazmyn, my beloved, will you marry me?” Jazmyn practically should “Yes!” as she launched herself from the sofa to embrace him. In doing so, she knocked him over and fell on top of him on the floor, but she then began kissing him all over his face as she held it between her hands, again saying “Yes!” between each kiss. Victor was in a painful position, on his back with his legs bent back under him and Jazmyn on top of him. He struggled to get his legs out from under him, and had to push her off of him to do so. “Jaz, you’re breaking my legs! Let me up!” he said as he did so. “Oh, sorry!” Jazmyn said, now understanding why he was pushing her away.
Victor got his legs free, and, still on his back, pulled Jazmyn back on top of him again. “In that case, my answer to your question is also ‘yes’. I would be honored for you to wear both my collar and my ring. I just couldn’t see us doing one without the other,” he explained. Jazmyn began repeatedly kissing him again, this time saying “Thank you!” between each kiss.
“Okay, babe, that’s enough,” he finally had to tell her. He still needed to ask her something. “Now I want you to think about this, and give me you honest opinion. I have both the collar and the engagement ring already. I want to know when and how you’d like me to give each of them to you, especially the collar relative to the wedding ceremony. I can put the ring on your finger now, or I can do it in front of a crowd if you’d rather. The collaring ceremony is always done privately, and we need to exchange vows as part of it, so now’s not the right time for that. I can give you your ring and collar at the same time, or separately. Also, I can collar you either before or after the wedding, depending on whether or not you want to wear the collar during the wedding. Any of those options are okay with me. My question is, what is your preference?”
“Those are some big decisions for a sub who’s gotten used to just doing what she’s told,” Jazmyn said to him, only half kidding. She was quiet for a few minutes as she considered her choices. Finally she said, “I want to already have the collar on at the wedding. I want it to be seen by all of the guests and in all of the photos. That’s how proudly I will wear it for the rest of my life. In fact, the sooner I can feel it around my neck, the better.
“I don’t want to re-enact you popping the question and me having to act surprised in front of an audience, though. The question has already been asked and answered, and there’s no reason it has to be done in front of witnesses. As far as the timing of the engagement ring vs. the collar goes, I don’t really care. I'll let you decide.”
“In that case,” Victor said, “how about getting off of me and sitting back down on the sofa?” She complied, and he got back into the kneeling position he was in before she knocked him over. “Now, where were we? Oh yeah, you had just said ‘yes’. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, and opened it towards her so she could see the ring. “Oh, Victor, it’s beautiful!” she exclaimed. He then took the ring and slipped it onto her finger. “It’s even more beautiful on your finger where it belongs,” he replied. Tears started running down Jazmyn’s face. Victor got up and sat next to her on the sofa, and they shared a long, passionate kiss.
“How soon do you think you can have your collaring vows ready?” he asked her. “By this coming weekend, maybe? If the weather cooperates, we can find a secluded place to hold the ceremony.” “I think I can have them ready by then,” she replied. “But the place doesn’t matter to me. Anyplace where you are will be special enough.”
Then Jazmyn said, “Now, if you don’t need me for anything, I have a few calls to make so I can share the happy news.” Victor motioned for her to proceed. First she video called Natalie to show her the ring as well as to tell her that Victor had agreed to her request for him to collar her. Then she video called her two moms and dad, but decided to just tell them about the engagement and show off her ring for now. Of course, everyone was very happy for her as well as Victor.
That next weekend, the weather was forecast to be just raw and nasty. Heavy rain and strong winds and barely warm enough to not freeze, all weekend long. Few people who didn’t absolutely have to be somewhere would be venturing out, including Victor and Jazmyn. They both had their collaring vows ready, but Victor was bummed that the weather was going to keep them from having the ceremony at a special but secluded place he had picked out. He wanted to postpone the ceremony so they could do it there when the weather was more cooperative. Jazmyn wanted to do it ASAP and didn’t care about the location. Her challenge was to bring Victor around to her way of thinking while remaining fully respectful and submissive.
“Victor, my Lover, there’s nothing I want more than to wear your permanent collar, and it can’t happen soon enough for me. I know you want the ceremony to be in a special place, but if you’re wanting that for my sake, please know I do appreciate it, but the setting doesn’t matter in the least to me. We can do it right here at home and it’ll be just as special. But of course, I will gladly defer to your decision, as always.”
Victor considered what Jazmyn said. She’d been consistent about this, that it was more important to her to receive the collar sooner rather than it be done in some memorable location. This weekend was out of the question for holding the ceremony where he had planned, and of course, there was no telling whether next weekend’s weather would be suitable. He relented. “Okay, Jazmyn, you’ve convinced me. We’ll do it this evening.”
“Thank you, my Lover,” Jazmyn replied. “How shall I dress for the occasion? Or perhaps ‘wear’ is a better word than ‘dress’, since it doesn’t necessarily mean clothes.” Victor said, “I want this to be classy, so please dress up. Wear your favorite dress, heels, make-up, the works.” “What about under my dress?” she asked. “That’s up to you,” he answered, “as long as it doesn’t detract from the classy look.”
That evening, Jazmyn dressed up as Victor had requested, though she would have preferred to do the ceremony while nude and bound, to further demonstrate her submission. Victor wanted Jazmyn to declare her submission to him completely of her own free will, and thought that anything demeaning would imply otherwise. Victor was similarly dressed up, wearing a suit and tie.
When the time came, Victor thought they should say their vows to each other while standing and facing each other, just like they would say their wedding vows. Jazmyn would go first, since she initiated the whole thing by requesting a collar. He would accept her vows to him, then he’d say his to her, and she would accept them. Then Victor would put the collar around her neck and lock it closed.
Jazmyn said her vows from memory. “Victor, my Lover, you have earned my absolute and complete trust in all things, even with my very life. I, your beloved Jazmyn, of my own free will, therefore pledge to you my undying love, utmost respect, and complete submission to your authority over every aspect of my life, for as long as we both live. From this moment forward, my sole purposes in life are to obey you in all matters and to please you in every way possible, and to do so with every ounce of energy until either my dying breath or yours. To demonstrate this commitment to you, I ask for the privilege of wearing your collar, never to be removed during the remainder of our time on earth together.”
Victor replied, “I accept your vows and will hold you accountable to keep them.”
He then said his vows to her. “Jazmyn, my beloved, it has been my great privilege to love you, care for you, protect you, and guide you. I am honored to have earned your trust, love, respect, and submission. You have proven yourself to be worthy, and now I commit to continue to do all of this and more to the best of my ability for the rest of our lives. I accept the responsibilities of providing for all of your needs, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and leading you to become the best possible version of yourself. To demonstrate this commitment to you, and in response to your request, I grant you the privilege of wearing my collar, never to be removed during the remainder of our time on earth together.”
Jazmyn replied, “I accept your vows and will help you to keep them in any way I can.”
Victor said to her, “You may now remove the training collar in preparation to receive this permanent collar of submission.” Jazmyn did so. Victor then placed a gold colored, platinum eternity collar around her neck, and used the special tool it came with to lock it place. It could now only be removed using the tool or by cutting it off. “Congratulations!” he said to her. “Congratulations to you!” she said in reply. The two then passionately kissed. At the conclusion of the kiss, Jazmyn asked if he would excuse her so she could see it in on herself the mirror, and he readily did so.
As soon as Victor began to put the collar on her neck, Jazmyn found herself becoming seriously aroused. Now, seeing it permanently in place, she was desperately horny. She needed Victor’s cock deep inside of her. But as a submissive, it wasn’t appropriate for her to pounce on him. All she could do was make herself available to him, but it was his call whether and how he chose to respond.
She returned to the living room, and said to him, “As my first act of submission as your permanent sub, I offer you my body for your amusement and pleasure by any way you see fit. I would have already removed my clothes but you said you want this evening to be classy, and so I await your instructions.”
Victor laughed and replied, “It’s okay. The classy part of the evening is concluded. The activities I have planned for the remainder of the evening are decidedly raunchy. Go ahead and remove every stitch of clothing, and then put yourself into self-bondage, in the position of your choice, but use real locks, not timer locks or ice locks. Also, no vibrators or other ways of stimulating yourself. Then quietly wait for me.”
Jazmyn then said, “If it pleases you, my Lover, I only ask that you not take me to subspace this time. I would prefer to remain clear-headed so that I can remember every detail of this special evening.” “A most reasonable and well-thought-out request, beloved. I will respect your wishes,” replied Victor.
Jazmyn did as Victor requested, choosing a position where her already very wet pussy was readily accessible, as that was the whole point. She laid on her back on the bed, then brought her legs up and back so her feet were above her head. She then bound her ankles to the headboard of the bed. She put in a ball gag and securely fastened the straps around the back of her head, so that she would have no choice but to “quietly wait” for Victor. Finally, she handcuffed her wrists to the headboard. Then she waited, as she was unable to do anything else. Victor didn’t give any hints about how long she might have to wait.
To pass the time, she reflected back on the events of the evening. She was now Victor’s permanent sub! She now wore his eternity collar around her neck, with no way to remove it even if she wanted to. She would now fully submit to him, and fully trust him, for life. At his request, she had made herself immobile, mute, helpless, defenseless, and unable to get out of her predicament. She could only wait for him to come and do what he wanted, whether that was to pleasure her, or to inflict pain on her vulnerable ass, or send her to subspace against her wishes, or release her from her bonds, or some combination of the above. She couldn’t imagine feeling any more submissive than she was right now, and that was extremely arousing. She felt her pussy juices running down her perineum and into her asshole.
Victor deliberately waited a good while to go to Jazmyn once she had bound herself. He had this feeling that making her wait would only make her hornier and more desperate for sex, and more appreciative when he finally gave her what she wanted. When he entered the bedroom, he immediately saw how extremely wet she was, confirming his hunch. “Did you miss me?” he asked. Jazmyn nodded her head. “You look like you’re wanting something really bad. Something only I can give you,” he remarked. Again she nodded her head. “I bet you’d do almost anything to get what you want,” he said. She nodded her head a third time. All of this verbal teasing was making Jazmyn even hornier, close to an orgasm but unable to do anything about it. She wiggled her ass and moaned into her gag.
“I want you to spend the rest of the weekend nude, except for crotchless panties, and stiletto heels locked on when you’re not in bed, and with your hands bound behind your back. Will you do that for me?” he asked, pretending to give her a choice. Jazmyn vigorously nodded her head yes. What he was requesting sounded so hot and submissive to her. She was so close to an orgasm!
“Okay, then. We have a deal,” Victor said. He started removing his clothes as Jazmyn watched. When he dropped his boxers and she saw his erect dick, that was all she needed to come, without him even touching her. She experienced very her first no-touch orgasm, but even after she finished, she was just as horny as before. “Someone’s very eager,” Victor remarked. Jazmyn again nodded her head. Victor wasted no time in giving her what she wanted. As soon as the tip of his dick touched her pussy lips, she exploded in ecstasy a second time, and as he began grinding, she did so a third time.
Jazmyn quickly realized that she was fast approaching subspace, even though Victor wasn’t trying to send her there. With the ball gag in, she couldn’t ask him to slow down or otherwise let her cool off. She was going to have to try to keep from going past the edge of reality completely on her own. As he continued to pound her, she desperately tried to apply the brakes, but she kept feeling herself being drawn toward the edge. Then she felt Victor come, and that induced a fourth orgasm, which distracted her from trying to keep away from the edge. As she came down from the orgasm, she sensed she was right on the very edge with her toes sticking out into the void. She mentally flailed her arms to try to keep her balance and stop from going any further. She involuntarily exclaimed, “No! No! No! No!” in real life, but it was muffled by the gag.
Victor could hear the sounds but couldn’t make out what she was trying to say. But he sensed that she might be on the verge of subspace; he didn’t know how he could tell, but somehow he could. Maybe it was the vacant look in her eyes. He immediately pulled out of her and got off of her so she wouldn’t be able to feel him, and he stayed silent so she couldn’t hear him. He knew those things helped her to stay in subspace, so he figured that without them, maybe she would be able to stop from going there in the first place.
Jazmyn felt like she was teetering on the edge for a good minute but then felt like she was being drawn back, away from the edge. Finally, she found herself fully back into reality. Victor was closely watching her from across the room. He could see her eyes come back into focus, and got up and removed her gag. “Are you okay?” he asked her. “Couldn’t be better!” she said cheerfully. “Four great orgasms if I counted correctly. But that was a close one. I was really teetering on the edge of subspace there for a while, and it took everything I had to keep from going in. I was so conflicted. I knew how amazing subspace would be, but I absolutely didn’t want to forget anything about tonight.”
Victor replied, “I thought that might be the case. The thing is, I wasn’t even trying to send you there.” “I know,” said Jazmyn. “I was just feeling extra submissive tonight, with just being collared and all, and putting myself into bondage as you asked, and you telling me what I needed to do for you to finish me. I’ve read in numerous places that all it takes to go there is an intense submissive experience, and apparently that doesn’t necessarily mean pain. Some subs can go there just from their Dom saying something a certain way or giving them a certain look. I think with some practice, I may be able to get there easily, too.”
Victor replied, “I’ve read that some women can be conditioned to involuntarily orgasm on command, by using the same principles that Pavlov used to get his dog to salivate at the sound of a bell. Maybe it’s possible to go to subspace on command as well. Are you willing to try to see if I can get you to do that?” “To do what?” Jazmyn asked. “Orgasm on command or go to subspace on command? Yes to both! How incredibly submissive would it be if I could do either! How incredibly dominant would it be if you could control me that way! I’m getting horny again just thinking about it!
“Tonight, just seeing your hard dick gave me my first orgasm. That’s the first time in my life I’ve come without stimulating myself or being touched by anyone, so who knows what’s possible unless we try? It’ll be fun to experiment and find out what works.”
“Agreed,” said Victor. “Now how about if I release you, you get yourself cleaned up, and then we snuggle on the sofa?” She was still on her back with her wrists and ankles secured to the headboard. “No hurry on my account. I could stay here for a while and just savor the experience. But if you’d like to snuggle, then yes, by all means.” But Victor answered her by removing the ankle restraints and unlocking the handcuffs. Jazmyn took a shower, then donned the crotchless panties and stilettos heels, locked on shoe restraints to keep them from being removed, and handcuffed herself behind her back. She then headed for the sofa, but Victor stopped her. “Bring a towel to sit on. You just might get juicy again,” he said with a smile. She did so, and joined Victor on the sofa and snuggled against him.
Victor immediately started French kissing her and fondling her breasts. Apparently he wasn’t done yet. She reciprocated the kissing, but otherwise couldn’t do much, so she just enjoyed what he was doing to her. Before long, one of his hands moved down to the opening in her panties and found its target. Victor stopped kissing her so he could speak. “See, I told you you’d need a towel. You know, something about seeing you in that eternity collar and not much else is driving me wild.” “Do whatever you will, Victor,” she said. “I’m all yours, now and forever.” He proceeded to bring her to climax with his fingers a couple of times, and then had her kneel at his feet and service him orally, which she did with great enthusiasm.
The following morning, Victor gave Jazmyn the tool needed to remove the eternity collar. He told her to keep it in her purse in case the collar ever had to be removed in an emergency, so that it wouldn’t have to be cut off. He would hang onto the second, identical tool that came with the collar.
Chapter 15 – Road trip
About a month later was Jazmyn’s brother Kaden’s wedding to Alejandra in San Antonio, Texas. There were 18 of them that needed to travel to the wedding, including Jazmyn’s two grandparents, three parents, nine younger siblings, her womb mate brother Ian and his now-fiancé Julian, and Jazmyn herself and Victor. Though her parents had plenty of money, paying for at least twelve airline tickets plus a big enough rental van was going to be steep.
They decided that they’d drive there instead, taking their big 15 passenger van. Any of the other three couples were welcome to either join them or find their own way down. In the end, they all decided to travel together, which meant they’d need a second vehicle. The obvious choice was Bryana’s wheelchair accessible minivan, which would make it a lot easier to get her in and out of the vehicle. They’d also need to rent a trailer to carry all the luggage, which they’d pull behind the big van.
The adults were all eager to have adult-only conversations, and so it was decided that the wheelchair van would be for adults only – Bryana plus up to four others. Mostly, they all wanted to learn more about subspace from Jazmyn and Victor, which meant that they’d be in the wheelchair van nearly all the time and the other adults would rotate. Poor Bryana would have to hear the same stories over and over, but by the end of the trip she’d practically be an expert.
Jazmyn’s grandparents found the idea of subspace interesting, but being in their 70s, weren’t inclined to try it themselves. Her mother Bryana, once she had learned about subspace, had previously said that she felt like she had approached subspace on numerous occasions, but didn’t know what it was and was afraid of it, and had always been able to avoid it. Now that she did understand it, she was interested in trying it, but Cody, Jazmyn’s father, wasn’t on board, having only heard about it secondhand.
Jazmyn and her two mothers had previously discussed the possibility of her mother Alyssa trying to get to subspace without having sex, and they talked about that some more. They’d still have to overcome Cody’s skepticism, but the bigger issue was that, as far as they all knew, getting to subspace required a deep level of submission, and Alyssa had never been the submissive type. Ian and Julian also found it to be interesting, but were content to mentally file the information away for future reference.
Bryana very much wanted Cody to hear about it directly from Jazmyn and Victor, rather than secondhand through Bryana and Alyssa. Cody hadn’t yet spent time in the minivan by the type they reached San Antonio, and Bryana said she’d make sure he did during the drive home.
They had arrived in San Antonio Thursday evening, and would head home on Sunday, meaning they’d spend three nights in a hotel. Ian and the two 17 year old boys, Quentin and Trevor, were in the wedding party and needed to be at the rehearsal on Friday.
Jazmyn and Victor were sharing a hotel room with Ian and Julian. Both couples had considered getting their own rooms, but had chosen economy over privacy. Victor was okay with it only because the other two men were gay, and were not going to try anything with Jazmyn. Never mind that one of them was her own brother.
Once they got settled in to their room, Ian and Julian wanted to talk privately with Jazmyn and Victor. “Like you, we’re only recently engaged, so this is still a ways off, but we are wanting to have children,” Ian told them. “We want to have biological children, or as close as we can get to that. Obviously, we can’t do that without a woman. Julian doesn’t have any sisters. So we would like you, Jazmyn, to consider the possibility of letting us use a few of your eggs, and borrow your womb, to help us have children. Julian would be the biological father. This wouldn’t be much different than Aunt Bryana having us for Mom.”
(Ian, like Jazmyn’s other siblings, all called Alyssa, their adoptive mother, ‘Mom’ and their biological mother ‘Aunt Bryana’. Jazmyn called them ‘Mom’ and ‘Mama Bryana’, respectively.)
Julian then spoke up. “Anyway, we know it’s a big ask, and we’re not in a hurry for an answer, but please, both of you at least start thinking about it and discuss it with each other, okay?” Victor said nothing. Jazmyn promised that they’d do so.
The next day was mostly free, so the horde piled into the vans and took in the sights in San Antonio, including the Alamo, the Tower of the Americas, and the River Walk. Since it’s normally the groom’s family’s obligation to pay for the rehearsal dinner, and out-of-town guests are typically invited even if they’re not in the wedding party, there was no problem with all 18 of them going to the dinner. They did overwhelm the others in attendance simply with their sheer numbers, but that couldn’t be helped.
The wedding itself was a typical Catholic, Mexican-American hybrid ceremony, and the reception was equally cross-cultural. Victor in particular was interested in the many similarities but also many differences between Mexican and Puerto Rican wedding traditions. Ian, of course, was Kaden’s best man. At one point, Ian was able to privately tell Kaden, “If you and Alejandra ever get into BDSM, or are into it already, be sure to talk to Jazmyn and Victor about it. I’ll just leave it at that.” Kaden didn’t react to that, but he made a mental note of it.
On the drive home, Bryana made sure that Cody was going to be starting out in the wheelchair van. Once they got on the road, she had Jazmyn tell him everything she knew or had experienced with subspace. Cody still seemed skeptical. “And you’ve done this how many times now, Jazzie?” he asked her. Jazmyn replied, “Five times now, since President’s Day weekend. Plus one time where it took everything in my power to keep from going into subspace.” “And you’ve had other bondage sessions since then where you didn’t go into subspace?” her father asked. “More times than I can count,” said Jazmyn, a little uncomfortable admitting that to her father.
“What was different between the times where you did go to subspace and the times where you didn’t?” he asked. “Usually it takes more than just a regular bondage session to get me there,” she replied. “There has to be a higher than normal degree of submission on my part. I’ve been able to get that in various ways. One is if Victor is inflicting pain along with pleasure. Another was when he commanded me to be completely silent and it was all I could do to not moan. Yet another is when he brings me all the way to the edge of an orgasm but won’t finish me until I agree to do something. It doesn’t matter what it is, and it’s kind of silly anyway, because I’d do whatever he asked regardless, but it’s the act of agreeing when I’m desperate for an orgasm that gets me there.
“The one time where I had to keep from going into subspace was the night of our collaring ceremony. I didn’t want to go into subspace that night, because I knew doing so would mess with my memory from the events of the evening. So we weren’t even trying to go there, but I was feeling so extra submissive after the ceremony that I could feel myself heading there anyway.”
Cody made a mental note to ask about the collaring ceremony. But staying on topic, he asked, “And there’s no drugs or anything similar involved? This is all natural?” “No taking any drugs or alcohol or anything like that. From what I understand, though, subspace is achieved from natural chemicals your body produces that are released into the bloodstream. Something about going into a deep state of submission causes your body to suddenly release a large amount of these hormones it has stored up that cause feelings of peace and contentment and especially pleasure. The quantity of these are so great that they overwhelm the brain. From the outside, it looks like you’re in a trance, but on the inside, you have a sensation of being beyond reality, in an alternate consciousness or something. So in a way, I guess you’re getting high on your body’s own natural chemicals.”
“Hmmm… Interesting,” was all Cody said in response to that. “So what’s this collaring ceremony you mentioned? Does it have something to do with the gold ring you’re wearing around your neck?” he asked. It then dawned on Jazmyn that her parents really didn’t know that much about BDSM culture, even though they had engaged in it for decades. She realized she would need to give them some background.
“Yes, Dad,” she replied. “Victor and I are in a Dominant/submissive relationship. He’s the Dom and I’m the sub. In case you didn’t realize it, you and Mama Bryana are also in a Dom/sub relationship, so don’t think it implies abuse or anything. The Dom always has the final say but always looks out for the best interests of the sub, and the sub completely trusts the Dom and willingly accepts this.
“Anyway, when the Dom and sub have been in their relationship for a while and have worked out all the issues and are really happy with the way things are, they may choose to make a permanent, lifetime commitment to each other as Dom and sub. To do that, the sub asks the Dom to become his permanent sub, and if they’re of a like mind, he agrees to accept the responsibility of being her Dom for life.
“It’s a similar level of commitment as a marriage, and there’s a private ceremony where the two exchange vows. But instead of exchanging wedding rings, the Dom places a discrete metal ring around the sub’s neck that’s supposed to never be removed. It’s called an eternity collar for obvious reasons, and the ceremony is called a collaring ceremony. It’s a high honor for both the Dom and the sub for the sub to wear his eternity collar.
“In our case I asked for a permanent Dom/sub relationship and Victor proposed marriage at the same time. We did the collaring ceremony a week later; since it’s private, there wasn’t much to plan and no reason to wait.”
“I guess you two are a lot more into that lifestyle than Bryana and I are,” Cody responded. “From what I know, I really doubt that, Dad,” replied Jazmyn. “It’s just that Victor and I have spent more time learning about it both online and from Victor’s brother and his wife. You and Mama kind of figured out on your own what worked for you, that’s all, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
Chapter 16 – Ian’s request
The following evening after they returned from Kaden’s wedding, during dinner, Jazmyn brought up the subject of Ian’s and Julian’s request for her to consider bearing their children. “So what are your thoughts about Ian and Julian wanting me to give them babies?” she asked Victor. Victor hesitated before responding. “Frankly, I’m not sure what to think of it. I guess given your family history, this is a completely ordinary request to you, but I’m having a hard time even trying to get my head around it. I suppose I don’t like the idea of you having children with another man.”
Jazmyn replied, “I completely get why you’d feel that way, Victor. This isn’t quite the same as what Mama Bryana did. Even though she bore her own biological children for Mom, I mean Alyssa, to adopt, the biological father was Bryana’s husband, my dad, who was there to raise us. And even Bryana was there to raise us. The three of them were a throuple, and so it completely worked for them. The surrogate babies she carried were not hers or my dad’s biologically, so there was never an issue about her carrying them; she was just renting out her womb and nothing more.”
“But I’m also trying to consider their request in a larger context about what we might want to do about having and raising children. You know I’ve always wanted to be pregnant and have lots of babies. But now the reality is sinking in that doing that won’t be very compatible with our lifestyle. We won’t be able to have me in any significant bondage if there’s a chance a kid might suddenly need me if they get sick or have a bad dream, and I won’t be able to go into subspace and be incapacitated for the next two days. This is similar to the dilemma that Mama Bryana had, but she had Alyssa to take over raising her babies. Maybe Ian is our Alyssa.”
Victor brought up something she hadn’t considered. “Hector and Natalie are making it work, doing bondage and subspace while raising four kids now.” “Good point,” Jazmyn conceded. “We need to talk to them and find out how they do it. Then we can consider whether that would work for us.”
“But still, Mama Bryana loved being pregnant so much she wanted to do it far more frequently than just what was needed to conceive and bear her own children, and that’s why she became a surrogate. Once I become pregnant the first time, I may feel the same way, and might want to bear children for other people, perhaps including Ian and Julian where I’d also be supplying the eggs.
“Also keep in mind that it’s quite possible that I’m a super-ovulator like my mother. If you get me pregnant naturally, I might give you four or five babies all at once. We won’t know until it happens, but we have to consider the risk.”
Victor considered whether to say this out loud, but decided to do so. “I suppose if you only have children for other people, there’d be nothing stopping you from becoming limbless like Bryana.” That remark caught Jazmyn off guard, and it certainly made her wonder what motivated him to say it, but she let it go for the moment. “I suppose there wouldn’t be,” she said in agreement. Victor was surprised that Jazmyn didn’t push back on that idea.
Then she decided she needed to understand where Victor was coming from on this. “Would you like it if I were limbless?” she asked him. “I’m still trying to decide,” he replied. “The idea of it intrigues me, though, I must admit. Bryana no longer has a choice but to fully submit to Cody’s will on everything, and Cody must care for her every need. They’re the ultimate Dom/sub couple.”
Hearing Victor put it that way somehow aroused Jazmyn. She imagined herself as helpless as her mother, and Victor having to do literally everything for her – feed her, wipe her ass, everything. She suddenly felt the strong urge to be bound. “Well,” she said to Victor, “we have a lot to consider and figure out, don’t we? Hey, would you mind putting the food away and cleaning up? If you have no objection, I have this strong desire to be bound and would like to go do that now.” Victor smiled. How could he object to that? “Do you need any help?” he asked. “No, I’ve got this; thanks,” Jazmyn replied. “I’ll be back in few minutes.”