(BBW = Big, Beautiful Woman)
This is a sequel to the story “The BBW Next Door: A Love Story”. Ryan is now married to his childhood sweetheart and next-door neighbor Raven, who was once a chubby girl and is now a BBW (big, beautiful woman). Ryan and Raven explore intentional weight gain, feederism, and bondage as the story progresses from them being newlyweds to shortly after the birth of their first child several years later.
Part 3 includes the following chapters:
Chapter 12: Vlogging
Chapter 13: Ravens
Chapter 11: Goals achieved
Fat Raven reached her target goal of 350 pounds a few weeks after the reunion. She happily shared the news with Ryan, and he was course very pleased. He insisted that they go out to dinner to celebrate, and he ordered a cake with the inscription “Congrats Raven – 350” with a picture of a purple raven bird done in icing. Surprisingly, Fat Raven’s health numbers still remained in the healthy range, though some of them were now towards the upper end of the range. 350 pounds put Fat Raven in that gray area where she could be considered either a very large BBW (big beautiful woman) or a small SSBBW (super-sized big beautiful woman), depending on who you asked.
However, Fat Raven had some news for Ryan. “Now I’ve reached our agreed-upon goal, I’m going to take a break from gaining, maybe permanently,” she said. “I’m not going to try to lose weight, but I don’t want to get any heavier than this. It’s gotten quite difficult to do things like climb a flight of stairs or get up off the floor, and it’s even getting challenging to get off the sofa and get out of the swimming pool.” Fat Raven was still swimming regularly. Fortunately, their apartment was on the first floor; that had been a non-negotiable. “Some of my health numbers have been creeping up towards top of the normal range and I don’t want them to get any higher. Plus, I’m tired of having to keep replacing my wardrobe. I still enjoy our stuffing sessions and want them to continue, but to do that, it means I’ll need to eat less when I’m not stuffing. So, starting tomorrow, I’m going to cut back. I hope you understand.”
“Of course,” replied Ryan. “The 350 number was just something I threw out there; it was never a requirement or even an expectation. I’m glad you were able to reach it, but it’s just a number. I’ve always wanted you to be healthy, and that hasn’t changed. So whatever you’re comfortable with and can be healthy at is fine. If you feel the need to lose, please don’t let me stop you. Okay?”
“Thanks for understanding; I appreciate it,” said Fat Raven. “I’ll just try to maintain the status quo for now. That’s going to be challenging enough.”
Meanwhile, ever since he finished grad school in May, Ryan had been studying for and taking the various sections of the CPA exam. He’d passed the first section in July, and just sat for the second section in early October. He’d take the last two sections in January and April. There was about a two month delay between taking the exam and getting the results, so if he continued to pass each section, he’d know by June. Their state also required one year of work experience in order to obtain a CPA license, and he’d reach that milestone at the end of May. That’s exactly what happened; Ryan Andersen became an honest-to-God, state licensed certified public accountant that next June.
With the CPA designation, Ryan received a big raise at work. He and Fat Raven had stayed in their modest apartment they had moved into two years earlier when they were first married. They had lived just on Fat Raven’s paycheck that first year while Ryan was in grad school, and so they did the same the second year. Other than paying for their delayed honeymoon and taking over paying for their phones and Ryan’s car expenses from their parents, they had managed to save nearly all of the rest of Ryan’s take home pay for the past year, building up a nice nest egg.
Between the nest egg and the raise, that put them in a good position to upgrade their standard of living. Ryan and Fat Raven discussed their options. “We could probably swing buying a modest house,” Ryan said, “but we’d be cash poor and would still have to live on a budget. Or we could get a much nicer apartment and buy new furniture. Or we could stay here and continue to save, and have more options down the road.”
“We need to also take into account possibly having children, too,” said Fat Raven. “Even if we’re not ready to start a family, that doesn’t mean it can’t happen. I of all people should know. So if we bought a house and needed both paychecks with no money to spare, we’d really be in a bind if we had a baby. We’d either have child care expenses or we’d have to give up my paycheck. Child care is super expensive for an infant. Even if we somehow convinced our mothers to watch the baby for free, we’d still have all kinds of other baby expenses like diapers. So I don’t think it’s smart to buy a house just yet.”
“Excellent point, my beautiful blackbird,” Ryan said. “But that raises the question, when do we want to start a family?” Fat Raven replied, “I don’t know; I’m in no hurry. We’re both only 23 years old and we have plenty of time. We just can’t completely rule out having it happen nine months from now.”
“Okay, so what about getting a nicer place or getting new furniture, or both?” asked Ryan. “Or even a new car?” “I told you when we first started seeing each other that I didn’t need much to be happy,” replied Fat Raven. “That hasn’t changed. There’s nothing wrong with this place or the furniture we have. Both of our cars are running well. Sure, they’re all showing their age, but so what? Except for at our class reunion, I’m not out to impress anyone. So I say we stay here with what we already have and keep socking away your paycheck. That’ll give us the most flexibility when the time does come that we need to make changes.” “I think that makes a lot of sense,” said Ryan. “I’m really glad you’re not the materialistic type.”
“There are two things I’d like to do with your raise, though,” said Fat Raven thoughtfully. “What are they?” asked Ryan. “I’d like to get some proper bondage and feeding gear and ditch this homemade stuff we use. We just need to make sure I can fit into it, though. And since I’ve been able to maintain my weight and plan to stay at this size for a while, I want new clothes, and I’m not just talking about a few things. I’ve been getting by with a minimal wardrobe ever since I started gaining for you and had to keep changing sizes regularly. I think it’s the least you can do for me after reaching the goal you set,” she said with a smile. “Both very reasonable requests,” acknowledged Ryan. “Let’s do both.”
“Oh, and there’s one more thing I’ve always wanted to do,” Fat Raven added. “I want to go to a Baltimore Ravens home football game this fall, and I want us to wear matching Ravens jerseys to the game. I probably can’t fit into a stadium seat any more, but there has to be a way. I’m putting you in charge of researching and planning that, okay? After all, I planned our big honeymoon. It’s already been over a year since we went to Reno, so I think we’re overdue for a vacay, don’t you?” “Agreed. I’m on it!” replied Ryan.
Chapter 12: Vlogging
Tori really warmed up to Raven after she had given her her outgrown clothes. Tori received more compliments about those clothes than she could recall getting the entire rest of her life. As a result, she solicited Raven’s advice about other aspects of her appearance. Now she had an actual hair style and was wearing makeup in addition to having a closet full of stylish clothing. Her improved appearance also improved her self-esteem and that helped her improve her ability to interact with other people.
But a makeover alone wasn’t going to fix all of Tori’s issues. Tori was still very insecure and assumed she was unlikable and about to become the butt of some cruel joke or prank. Raven worked with her as much as she could, and Tori certainly had made progress, but she could only do so much. Tori had a lifetime of bad experiences to get past. Eventually, Raven suggested as nicely as she knew how that Tori would benefit from getting therapy. Raven had earned Tori’s trust enough that she didn’t take offense, and she actually looked into it and started seeing a therapist. But true to her word, even though she wasn’t helping her as much anymore, Raven continued to make her friendship with Tori a priority.
Raven got to thinking about her experience mentoring Tori. She had found it satisfying helping another fat girl navigate the world. But Raven didn’t know any other insecure fat girls. Sure, there were some that shopped at the store (for bras and undies, not for the slinky stuff), but she didn’t know them well enough to suggest that they needed help, and it wouldn’t have reflected well on the store for her to do that anyway.
Yet, Fat Raven still kind of liked the idea of being a life coach and fashion consultant. She discussed this with Ryan. Ryan suggested, “Why don’t you start a blog? You could pick a topic, write down your thoughts, and post it for the world to see. You could potentially help a lot of people, rather than just one or two at a time.” Fat Raven pondered that idea. It had merit, but it wasn’t quite “her”.
“No, I think you’ve pointed me in the right direction, but didn’t take it far enough. I think I need to start a vlog instead,” Fat Raven replied. A vlog, of course, is a video blog. “I think I’d be a lot more effective if people could actually see how fat I am, and yet also how confident I am. It would give me credibility that I could never get just writing text. Besides, it would work a lot better if I were trying to give fashion tips.”
“Beautiful, too,” said Ryan. Fat Raven wasn’t following him. “Pardon?” she asked. “What’s beautiful, too?” “You are, silly!” Ryan replied. “You said that on a vlog people could see that you’re fat and confident. I added that they could also see that you’re beautiful.” “Well, thanks for that. Flattery will get you everywhere,” said Fat Raven, laughing.
Fat Raven looked into what she would need to do to start up a vlog. She’d have to get a decent video camera and a tripod, she’d need to come up with a name, and either get a url (web address) or start a YouTube channel, or maybe both. She, or someone, would need to edit and upload the video. She would have to have a suitable place to sit while in front of the camera. And not the least important, she’d need to come up with ideas for content and have a pretty good idea of what she was going to say on each topic.
So Fat Raven took care of all of those things, and a few weeks later was ready to record her first session, which would serve as an introduction to her vlog. Following that, she decided she’d make two postings a week, one on living life as a fat girl and the other on fat girl fashion. She’d record them on the same day, back-to-back, but would stagger their postings to give her viewers reasons to come back more often. Plus, that meant she could upload the first one before she had finished editing the second one. Fat Raven decided to call her vlog “Living Your Best Fat Girl Life”, and to create both a website and a YouTube channel. A website would give her the flexibility to do things like creating written blog entries if she so desired.
Fat Raven recruited Ryan to operate the camera, so the video wouldn’t start with her turning on and backing away from the camera and end with her approaching the camera and turning it off. Of course, those parts could be edited out, but she was hoping to keep the need for editing to a minimum. So Fat Raven sat on the sofa and told Ryan when she was ready to start.
“Hello, everyone, my name is Raven, and I’m a happy, confident, successful fat girl. Welcome to my new video blog where I will hopefully show you how you, too, can thrive as a fat girl and live your very best life. I plan to post twice a week, one covering topics such as mental health, self-esteem, interacting with people, relationships, that sort of thing. The other will address fashion, clothing, hair, makeup, and other appearance-related topics. This session is neither; it’s just an introduction.
“Let me tell you what we’re not going to talk about. First, we’re not going to talk about losing weight, either the need for it or ways to do it. You get enough of those messages already. The last thing I want to do is to try to make you feel guilty or feel like a failure because you haven’t lost weight already. This is a safe place, a fat-positive, fat accepting place. You can be beautiful and happy while being fat, so we’re going to focus on achieving just that. We’re also going to try hard to not shame you about your size or anything else. Rather, the goal is to inspire and motivate you to want to make positive changes in your life.
“Next, let me introduce myself to you. As I said, my name is Raven, but I prefer to be called Fat Raven. More about that in a minute. I’ve been fat my entire life. Just so you can relate to me better, I’ll tell you that I’m 23 years old, 5 feet 3 inches tall, and I weigh about 350 pounds. Yeah, I’m not embarrassed to share that with you. I’ve been happily married for two years now to my very best friend Ryan. I work as the manager of a plus-sized clothing store that mostly sells lingerie, but I’m not here to promote my store. I’ve had some dark chapters in my life, too. I’m no stranger to physical abuse or teenaged pregnancy. But those things are behind me now; while they have impacted my life, I don’t let them control my life.
“Now, about the word ‘fat’. I don’t hesitate to use it, even to describe myself. I am fat; there’s no getting around it. On my journey to self-acceptance, I first tried to not think of myself as fat, but rather as a big, beautiful woman, or BBW. I gladly accept that label, too, but I was stuck trying to not perceive myself as a fat girl. I’d been called that my entire life. There was no denying what the mirror and the bathroom scale were telling me. So instead, I chose to embrace the label ‘fat’ and wear it proudly. It’s a statement of fact, a statement of reality, and it’s not an insult unless you let it be.
“If you find the word ‘fat’ offensive, I do respect that. You’re entitled to not have people call you that if you don’t like it. But I mean no disrespect to you by using the term myself.
“So what motivated me to start a video blog? About a year ago, I attended my high school class’s 5 year reunion. In high school, I weighed a lot less than I do now, but I was still a fat girl and had many of the usual fat girl issues. However, I’m extroverted and managed to be part of the popular crowd. At the reunion, though, I had a brief conversation with a girl who used to be much heavier than me. She had had a completely different experience as a child and a teenager. She’s an introvert, had no friends, and had been teased and tormented about her weight at least since she started kindergarten. And so as an adult, she had a lot of psychological scars and was very lonely. Her self-esteem was practically non-existent, and her appearance reflected that. She had no idea how to dress or fix her hair to be attractive, and she had never worn makeup in her life.
“So, out of a sense of compassion, I befriended this girl and worked with her to help her overcome her issues. I was able to help her with some of her issues, but not all of them. For those, she clearly needed professional help, and so I advised her to seek therapy. Fortunately, she did that, and her therapist is helping her work through the psychological trauma she had endured as a child and teenager. But I got a lot of satisfaction from helping her to the extent that I could, and I decided that I could do the same for a much larger audience by recording my advice and putting it online.
“I’m hoping someday to bring this girl in as a guest in a future video episode to give you her perspective, but I’m not sure if she’ll be willing to do that, being an introvert and all. Which reminds me, I’ll have guests on the show from time to time to help provide different perspectives than my own, or to provide expertise on a subject, so you’re not just hearing only from me. I realize that my experiences may not be the same as yours, and that I don’t know everything.
“Oh, that reminds me…” Fat Raven told her viewers what state and metropolitan area she lived in. “If you live here too, or if you happen to be visiting, it’s possible that I could have you appear as a guest if you can contribute to the discussion of an upcoming topic. Or maybe you have such a compelling story that I’d want to devote an entire episode to it. Anyway, if you’re interested, send me an e-mail and I’ll see what I can do.
“So, the first two video blog posts next week will deal with these topics: On the mind and relationships side, the topic will be ‘It’s not your size that’s holding you back’, and on the appearance side we’ll do an overview titled ‘Why your appearance matters’. Please bookmark my website and subscribe on YouTube so you won’t miss an episode. Thanks for watching, and I’ll see you soon!”
Fat Raven’s viewership got off to a slow start. She had spread the word to as many people as she could who might be remotely interested, but that was still a fairly small number. But that’s normal for any new blogger or vlogger, and Fat Raven knew that, so she wasn’t discouraged. She kept plugging away at creating new content every week, and her weekly viewership numbers slowly but steadily climbed.
As she promised, Fat Raven brought in various guests to her vlog episodes to discuss topics of interest to fat girls. These included Ryan, her boss Suzanne, and the couple they matched up, Lucas and Emma. She tried unsuccessfully to recruit Tori, who she really wanted more than anyone. However, Fat Raven recalled that Tori had told her she was seeing a therapist who specialized in helping women with body acceptance issues. Fat Raven thought that the therapist might make an excellent guest for her vlog. She was able to get Tori to give her the name and number of her therapist providing that they did not discuss her case either between themselves or on her vlog. Fat Raven knew it would be unethical and illegal for the therapist to do that anyway.
Chapter 13: Ravens
One day, Fat Raven received a text from her high school classmate Emma, who she and Ryan and set up on a blind date with their classmate Lucas about a year earlier. Fat Raven and Ryan had each discovered that their classmates had complimentary secrets; Emma, though normal sized, secretly wanted to be a feedee, and Lucas was secretly into fat girls. Emma and Lucas had been in a relationship practically since that blind date, and when Emma was a guest on the vlog, she had definitely gained enough weight to be in BBW territory now.
Anyway, the reason for Emma’s text was to inform Fat Raven that she and Lucas were now engaged and were planning a spring wedding. Fat Raven congratulated her and wished them the best, and Emma again profusely thanked Fat Raven for setting her up with Lucas. She also told her that she and Ryan would definitely be on the guest list; she just needed to nail down a venue and a specific date.
Fat Raven’s birthday was in October and fell on a Sunday that year. Ryan thought that might be a good day to take her to that Baltimore Ravens game, if they were playing at home that week. He checked their scheduled and confirmed that they were. They were playing a cellar-dwelling team in the other conference, so it wouldn’t be difficult to get tickets, and their odds of winning were pretty good, if that could be predicted months ahead of time.
Ryan set out to investigate his two biggest concerns: whether Fat Raven could still fit in a normal stadium seat and whether she could still fit in a single airline seat. He found out that the width of the stadium seats varied between 19 and 21 inches, and had a side wall on both sides, but there was no way to know the exact width in advance. Fat Raven’s ass wouldn’t even come close to fitting in one of those. So, they would definitely need to get handicapped seating. The problem was that there were only two flavors of those – standard seats that were merely accessible without climbing stairs, and empty spots where someone in a wheelchair could sit. Probably the easiest solution would be to rent a wheelchair and then use one of those.
Airline seats were also going to be a problem. Most airlines’ economy seats were only 17 inches wide; a few were 19 inches. First class seats might be as much as 21 inches. They could lift the armrest between them to give Fat Raven more room, but the armrests had to be down, and she had to fit between them during takeoff and landing, or else she’d have to purchase two seats. Amtrak train seats, however, were 23 inches across, and also had an armrest that could be lifted, but there was no requirement that the she had to fit. Amtrak seemed like a much safer bet. Also, the Baltimore train station was downtown, close to the stadium, while the airport was out in the suburbs.
So, Ryan made all of the arrangements for the trip – game tickets with one of them being an empty place for a wheelchair, wheelchair rental, train tickets, hotel reservation, etc. They would travel on Friday and Monday, and spend Saturday visiting the National Aquarium, Harborplace, and possibly other sights. The wheelchair would come in handy besides just during the game, as Fat Raven didn’t have the stamina for a lot of walking. Ryan also ordered custom Ravens jerseys for the two of them, with their names “Fat Raven” and “Ryan” across the back. He struggled with which jersey numbers to get, but decided that Fat Raven’s should be number 1, and he’d get the last two digits of the year they were married.
Meanwhile, Fat Raven and Ryan received an invite from Emma and Lucas to attend their Halloween party which was going to double as their engagement party, and of course they accepted. Fat Raven had previously thought that if she ever needed a costume, she’d go as Raven the Teen Titans character, but now she was having second thoughts. The fictional Raven, while a superheroine, was the offspring of a demon father and a human mother, and as a result was constantly in conflict with herself, trying but not always successful in suppressing her demon side. The fictional Raven was into Hindu-style meditation and witchcraft and had all kinds of magical powers, and at times had some serious anger management issues.
Fat Raven was as conflicted as the fictional Raven. She always liked the comic/cartoon character because of their shared name, but she knew that pretending to be a character with all of that demonic baggage didn’t make for a good Christian witness. Fat Raven did online searches on the Raven character, hoping to find some redeeming quality in her, and she discovered White Raven. White Raven was a seldom-seen version of the original Raven character, dressed all in white, indicating to the reader or viewer that at that time she was free from any demonic influences. Fat Raven could see herself portraying a fat version of the White Raven character. Never mind what Fat Raven had thought about “white raven” being a contradiction of terms; she also discovered that, although very rare, there are actual white raven birds in nature.
The only problem was, White Raven costumes were lot harder to find than regular Raven costumes, especially in plus sizes, even more so in the largest plus sizes. Impossible, in fact. But Fat Raven was resourceful enough to find everything she needed separately and put together a costume. She was able to order a suitable white leotard and light gray tights in her size from one of the lingerie store suppliers. It was surprisingly easy to find a white, hooded cloak in larger sizes, as these were popular with brides having winter weddings in colder climates, and the exact size of that wasn’t critical. Short white boots were easy to find as well. It was just a matter of finding the Raven-specific accessories, but those were easy, too, and she even found a Raven belt that came with an adjustable extension that wasn’t quite big enough, but she bought two of them and used two extensions with one belt.
Fat Raven’s main decisions were whether to dye her hair purple or buy a purple wig, and whether to use body paint on her face and hands to make her skin appear light gray, or leave it natural. She decided on the wig and body paint. She now had everything she needed to be Fat White Raven.
Ryan wasn’t particularly interested in dressing as one of the male Teen Titans characters. He decided to make use of his Ravens football jersey and go as a football player. Ryan’s brother currently played high school football and was able to borrow some shoulder pads and a pair of plain white pants with pads for him, and he bought some eye black at a sporting goods store to complete the look. So Fat Raven and Ryan would both go to the party as Ravens, just vastly different kinds.
The day arrived for them to head to Baltimore for the Ravens game. The only problem with taking Amtrak is that it was agonizing slow compared to flying, and required spending a night on the train each way. They could sleep in their seats, or they could pay extra to get a sleeping berth. But the sleeping berths cost twice as much, and they were very cramped. After discussing it, they decided to make do in coach. The only train departed in the evening and arrived in Baltimore in the afternoon the following day, and the only train home left Baltimore in the afternoon and got them home the following morning. They decided the best plan was to leave home Thursday evening, and head home Monday afternoon and arrive Tuesday morning. They’d each take Friday, Monday, and Tuesday off work.
Their seats were surprisingly spacious and comfortable compared to airline seats. There was enough space between them and the people behind them that they could recline the seats back like a reclining chair, back to a comfortable position for sleeping, with a section that came up for their lower legs to rest on. But they hadn’t considered the noise. Amtrak has a lights out, quiet policy during sleeping hours, but the train had to blow its horn four times at every grade crossing, and it seemed like it never stopped. As a result, neither of them slept very well.
Their itinerary would have them in Baltimore for dinner for three nights, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Baltimore is famous for its seafood, especially shellfish, and they decided they’d make the most of the opportunity and sample three different highly rated seafood restaurants. One of them was close to the stadium, but they decided that trying to go there on game day would be a bad idea, so they went there Friday evening instead. They deliberately chose a place away from the stadium for Sunday evening.
Ryan arranged to have the rented wheelchair delivered to the hotel late Friday afternoon and picked up on Monday morning. He intended to have Fat Raven use it as they went sightseeing on Saturday in addition to the game on Sunday. But Fat Raven didn’t like that idea at all. “Are you thinking I’m too fat to walk anymore? I assure you I can walk perfectly fine,” she said. “I know you can walk fine,” said Ryan. “But we’re going to be walking a lot today. I’m not sure you have the stamina to do it all day. So, since we have the wheelchair anyway, why not use it? No one knows you here anyway, so no one back home has to know. I promise I won’t take any pics of you while you’re in the chair.” Fat Raven reluctantly consented.
Their priority was to see the National Aquarium, so they went there first thing on Saturday morning. It was a vast, world-class place, and required several hours minimum to see everything. By the time they got through it, it was early afternoon. Ryan pushed Fat Raven the couple blocks to Harborplace, where there was no shortage of places to grab lunch. After lunch, they went through all of the shops and noted the other eateries that they could have stopped at. They went out to the waterfront and took pics in front of the U.S.S. Constellation, the last U.S. Navy sailing ship. They decided against doing the below decks tour, as it was going to be tight quarters with steep steps.
Fat Raven would have liked to see the Edgar Allen Poe House and buy a souvenir or two with a raven on it, but again, as she found out more about it online, it was a very small, cramped place with steep, winding steps.
Friday evening they were both too tired after their sleep-deprived train trip, but Saturday and Sunday evenings were devoted to extensive lovemaking sessions. Ryan had brought a variety of bondage gear that would fit in a suitcase, and they put it to good use.
On Sunday, the weather was perfect for a football game. They got to the stadium early and checked out a number of concession stands on their way to their seats. Once there, Ryan left Fat Raven while he went back and bought them some lunch. Kickoff was just after 1 pm and the game lasted until about 4:30 pm. Fat Raven really got into loudly rooting for the Ravens team, and they handily defeated the Arizona Cardinals by a score of 24-7.
Sunday, of course, was Fat Raven’s birthday, and Ryan had arranged in advance for a birthday cake to be waiting for them at the restaurant that evening. After their filling seafood dinner, the waiter brought out the cake along with a knife and a couple of plates. It was not the kind of place where the wait staff would sing to you, but Fat Raven enjoyed the unexpected cake nevertheless. Not wanting it to go to waste, and not caring what anyone else thought, she had several large slices there at the restaurant, and they took the remaining cake back to their hotel room. It was gone before they checked out of the hotel on Monday morning.
They had some time to kill between when they had to be out of the hotel and when their train was scheduled to arrive. They discovered there was a statue of Edgar Allen Poe close to the train station, so they went there and posed for a few photos. They found a place to eat lunch, and they stopped in a pharmacy where they bought some earplugs for the overnight train ride home. They slept much better that night.
A couple of weeks later was the Halloween/engagement party hosted by Emma and Lucas. Fat Raven clearly went to more effort than most people in having an elaborate costume, complete with an appropriate purple wig and the gray body paint on all of her exposed skin. She got plenty of attention for her effort, but most people weren’t exactly sure who she was supposed to be. More than a few commented that she looked like Raven from Teen Titans, except for the white clothing. Hardly anyone was aware of the Raven character’s White Raven alter ego being a thing, and so Fat Raven had to repeatedly explain it, which took the fun out of it. Still, she was glad she went as White Raven rather than regular Raven, and she was proud that she assembled her costume from scratch rather than buying one ready-made.