(BBW = Big, Beautiful Woman)
This is a sequel to the story “The BBW Next Door: A Love Story”. Ryan is now married to his childhood sweetheart and next-door neighbor Raven, who was once a chubby girl and is now a BBW (big, beautiful woman). Ryan and Raven explore intentional weight gain, feederism, and bondage as the story progresses from them being newlyweds to shortly after the birth of their first child several years later.
Part 3 includes the following chapters:
Chapter 10: Matchmaking and friend making
Chapter 8: The honeymooners
As much as Fat Raven would have liked to wear a bikini on the Atlantic City beach, it didn’t take long to realize that there were better places to spend their time and money. Besides, the ocean water there would be like ice in May. She checked out the various places she had mentioned to Ryan, as well as a fee others she thought of. The place that seemed the most appealing for what they were looking for ended up being Reno, Nevada. It was basically a scaled down version of Las Vegas, but it had much more variety of things to do away from the casinos, with Lake Tahoe and the Sierra Nevada mountains right next door.
Fat Raven then investigated the various hotel, flight, and rental car options. She discovered that rental car companies don’t like to rent to people under age 25, and she and Ryan were both only 22 years old. Some wouldn’t rent to them at all, and others tacked on significant fees. It would be much harder to get around there, especially if they wanted to make day trips, if they didn’t have a car. But she read that there were some creative ways to get around the fees, such as joining a particular motor club and then renting from a particular rental car company.
Ryan didn’t have a credit card since he didn’t have a job yet, but Fat Raven did, and she had good credit and paid it off each month, so she used her card to book their trip. Their hotel reservation was for seven nights, giving them six full days in Reno along with one travel day each way. They would fly on Saturdays both ways.
Before the trip, Fat Raven told Ryan that she needed to train him on being in public with a BBW. “What is there to know?” he said. “We’ve been in public together lots of times.” “Yes, but this will be different,” replied Fat Raven. “We’re far more likely to encounter drunks in the hotel, in the casino, and elsewhere than we do here. You’d be amazed at how stupid and obnoxious people can get when they’re drunk. Probably at least once, some drunk is going to think it’s a good idea to make a comment about my size. It’s best to anticipate this and be prepared for it than to be caught off guard and have to wing it. I don’t want you to make the mistakes that some of my past boyfriends did, or even new mistakes that they didn’t make, since you’re not like them at all.
“The most important thing is to not escalate the situation. If you get in the guy’s face or start directly insulting him or the girl he’s with, it could easily get ugly; violent, even. That’s how some of my boyfriends reacted instinctively. I don’t think you’re likely to do that, but I still needed to caution you about it.
“Often, they’ll just state an obvious fact that they intend as an insult. Those are easy to deal with. Just pretend you heard it as a compliment. For example, if they say, ‘Your girlfriend sure is fat,’ you can respond with something like ‘Thanks. She is quite a hottie, isn’t she?’. Or you can just respond based on them stating the obvious, like ‘Thanks for letting me know. I wasn’t sure.’
“If they say something clearly insulting, like ‘What a disgusting fat pig!’, a different strategy is called for. You certainly don’t want to agree with him, but it’s pretty lame to ignore him, or just disagree, or tell him what he can do with himself. If you’re sober, you have a big advantage being able to come up with a witty reply that he won’t know how to respond to. You might say, ‘I don’t see any pig, but I sure hear someone who sounds like a pig,’ for example. Or you can say something clever about his lack of manners without directly addressing the pig comment at all. Or, you can imply that he’s not man enough to handle having a big girl. But the key is to say something he’s not expecting, especially if it requires some thought to process.
“Now this is important: If you don’t want to offend me with your response, never, ever reply starting with ‘Yeah, but’ or ‘At least she’ or anything else along those lines. Those imply that you agree with whatever he said. That was another mistake that some of my boyfriends made. I’ll tell you now, if you do that, even accidentally, the rest of the honeymoon isn’t going to be very fun for either of us.
“And once you’ve made your reply, if we’re walking, don’t stop to engage him further. Just keep walking. By the time he thinks of something else to say, we’ll be gone.”
“Now, why don’t we practice some? I’ll throw out an insult, since I’ve probably heard them all, and then you respond to the imaginary drunk guy who said it.” They did, and Fat Raven was pleased at how Ryan could come up with an appropriate and disarming retort on the fly.
So, Ryan finished grad school and attended graduation to receive his master’s degree in accounting on the second Saturday in May. On the third Saturday, he and Fat Raven flew to Reno, and on the fourth Saturday, Memorial Day weekend, they would fly home, with Ryan starting his new job on Tuesday, the day after Memorial Day. Their first wedding anniversary fell on Sunday, their first full day in Reno.
Fat Raven wanted to tour the buffets of Reno, so to speak, so they tried out a different one every evening for dinner. They went to the most expensive, and presumably most extravagant, one for their anniversary dinner. Fat Raven ate until she couldn’t take another bite each evening. She was still trying to get to her goal weight of 350 pounds, and at the start of their trip was at about 318, with 32 pounds still to go. But while the buffets certainly lost money serving Fat Raven, they made up for it serving Ryan. Fat Raven made sure he didn’t overdo it; she had no intention of letting him get fat. As she said, she liked his skinny ass just the way it was. But to call less attention to herself, she had him bring her every other plateful of food.
When they weren’t eating or making love, the couple took in a few shows, did a little bit of gambling until their money set aside for that purpose was exhausted, drove all the way around Lake Tahoe with numerous stops to take in scenic views and to stop at interesting shops and other attractions, took a paddlewheel boat cruise across the lake, visited several museums and galleries, went to a minor league baseball game, and even did some ordinary things like bowling and swimming in the hotel pool. Fat Raven decided to stick to her normal one-piece bathing suit, however. Fat Raven’s boss Suzanne had told her there were a couple of well-known plus-sized women’s clothing stores in the Reno area, so they visited those and bought both some clothes she could use now and some that she could grow into.
During the course of the week, they did have a run in with an obnoxious drunk. “Earthquake!” he yelled. “Oh wait, it’s just a fat girl walking!” Ryan gave the guy a quick glance to acknowledge that he heard him, then turned to Fat Raven and, loud enough for the drunk to clearly hear, he asked, “You know how to tell if a faggot likes being on top or bottom? If he likes the bottom, he’ll be a big asshole with a big mouth!” The drunk was speechless, and the other drunks he was with cracked up laughing at his expense, as did Fat Raven. He knew he’d been outwitted and insulted, but couldn’t think of anything to say in response. Ryan and Fat Raven kept walking and soon were out of earshot. “Oooh, that was clever!” said Fat Raven. “Way not politically correct, but indirect and very effective. Good job, Ryan!” She reached up and kissed him on the cheek and walked arm in arm with him. Sex was especially good for both of them that night.
When they got home and Fat Raven weighed herself, she discovered she had gained four pounds in just eight days.
Chapter 9: Reunion jitters
Shortly after Ryan and Fat Raven returned from their delayed honeymoon, they both received e-mails inviting them to their mutual high school class’s 5 year reunion, which would be held in September. “We have to go to this, Fat Raven,” Ryan told his wife. “I can’t wait for everyone to see we’re married.”
“I appreciate that you feel that way, I really do,” replied Fat Raven. “But I don’t think people are going to react positively. They’re going to say things like, ‘Do you see how much Raven has let herself go in just five years? Does she have no self-respect?’ and, ‘Ryan could have done so much better than that whale he’s with.’ The other cheerleaders probably all look like beauty queens. Probably half of them are trophy wives to rich, middle-aged guys on their second or third marriages.”
Ryan considered Fat Raven’s words. “Yeah, you’re probably right. But why should we care what an ex-cheerleader married to a fat, bald, middle-aged guy thinks? I still want to go and show off my trophy wife! I’ll be beaming with pride that I’ll have you there on my arm and wearing my wedding ring. I will!”
“I know you will, Ryan,” replied Fat Raven. “And I’ll be just as proud to be seen with you. But I know how catty those girls can be, and I don’t know if I want to deal with it. I don’t know if you’ll want to deal with it, either. How do you think your soccer team friends are going to react when they see who you brought? Do you really think they’ll just be happy for us, or are they going to whisper in your ear, ‘Dude! What were you thinking?’ And how is that going to make you feel?”
“I say the best defense is a good offense!” said Ryan. “We go in there together dressed to the nines, confident, proud of each other, clearly madly in love with each other, animated, happy to see everyone, and what are they going to say? If you go there with a fat girl mentality, low self-esteem, ashamed of yourself, they’ll devour you, but if you go there like the confident, successful, happy woman I know you are, it’ll make all the difference.” “Maybe,” replied Fat Raven, still unconvinced.
But over the next few weeks, Ryan was persistent and wore Fat Raven down until she agreed to go. Ryan then told Fat Raven, “I want you to wear something classy that really looks good on you and that you feel good in. If you don’t have anything like that that fits, then buy something. Get your hair and nails done for the occasion. I want you to have every reason to feel good about yourself.”
“You sound like you’re afraid I’m going to embarrass you by looking frumpy or something,” said Fat Raven, frowning. “Oh, no, that’s not it at all,” replied Ryan. “I don’t ever think you look frumpy. I just know you’re apprehensive about seeing everyone from high school again, and I want to give you every confidence boost I can, that’s all. I want you to have a good time and be glad that you went, and if buying a new dress or whatever else will help you do that, then I want you to do it.”
Fat Raven said, “Can you remove about 150 pounds from me for just one night? That would boost my confidence tremendously.” Ryan knew he couldn’t just shrug this off; this was really bugging his wife. He went over to be directly in front of her, held her face in his hands, and looked her in the eye. “This is really bothering you, isn’t it?” he asked. “What happened to my Fat Raven who was proud to be a BBW? Who are you and what have you done with her?” At this, Fat Raven began crying and laughing at the same time. “If it’s going to be this difficult for you, we don’t have to go,” Ryan added.
Through tears, Fat Raven admitted her insecurity. “It’s one thing to be a proud BBW for you, because I know you love me this way. I can even do it around strangers, or around people who I’ve only known for a short time, or around people who I know won’t judge me. But I now weigh almost double what I was in high school, and I was fat even back then. I was always the token fat cheerleader. Most of these people haven’t seen me since then, and I know they’re going to be shocked and disgusted.” She buried her head in Ryan’s chest and sobbed. Ryan just held her tight and repeated that they didn’t have to go.
Fat Raven looked up at her husband, still crying. “I want to go, because I can see how much it means to you. It’s just going to be hard, that’s all.” She put her face back in Ryan’s chest and sobbed some more. Then she looked up and spoke again, now with determination in her voice. “I am going to go. I’ve certainly survived a lot worse. Sticks and stones, and all that. If they have a problem with me, it’s their problem, not mine.”
“That’s my girl,” Ryan said reassuringly. “Besides, you have so much to be proud of. You survived a horrific attack and came out better and stronger. You found the strength to testify against your attacker and ensure he doesn’t hurt anyone else anytime soon. You gave a little boy the gift of life when it would have been far more expedient not to, and you gave a childless couple a priceless gift, that same little boy. You stopped jumping from one dysfunctional relationship to another and got into a really great one. You gave your life to Christ and had your sins forgiven. You impressed a business owner so much that she made you the manager of her business at 21 years of age. You have a husband who loves you deeply, and a good looking one at that.” Ryan smiled as he said this, and Fat Raven laughed. Ryan elaborated on that last point. “You didn’t have to settle for some twice-divorced middle aged guy; your husband is young and handsome and will soon be a CPA making lots of money.
“Your weight gain wasn’t a matter of having no self-control or not caring about your appearance. Just the opposite, in fact. It was strategic. You did it intentionally and you had a good reason for doing it. Just like the other cheerleaders have to stay thin to please their husbands, you’ve gained weight to please your husband, so it’s not like it’s a character flaw or a weakness on your part. And it’s certainly a lot easier and more fun, wouldn’t you agree?” Fat Raven laughed again.
“But even if gaining weight were a bad thing, which it’s not, it’s only one negative versus a whole long list of positives. You can walk into that reunion with your head held high, proud of what you’ve accomplished in five years. I certainly hope that you’ll be able to do just that. And if someone does make a disparaging remark, so what? Why should you care in the least if some fake blonde ex-cheerleader you haven’t seen in five years looks down her nose at you? How would her opinion even matter? It would probably just be a case of sour grapes anyway.”
By now, Fat Raven had stopped crying and had a big smile on her face as she continued to hold him tight. “Thank you for that, Ryan. I really needed to hear it, and you’re absolutely right; I do have a lot to be proud of. Thank you for always believing in me, even when I stop believing in myself. Especially when I stop believing in myself. I love you so much, Ryan, and I still don’t know what I did to deserve you!” She then reached up to passionately kiss the one person besides her parents who she could always count on to love her unconditionally.
Fat Raven resolved that she would go to the reunion looking her best, head held high, confident and proud and deeply content, and would make the other girls envious of her for having such a great life and not even having to starve herself in the process.
The actual reunion went more-or-less as they expected. Fat Raven was dolled up and mentally prepared and Ryan was proud of how well she fared. She did get a few looks of disgust and a few left-handed compliments and snide remarks, some of which were behind her back or out of her earshot, but the ones that were not she smartly ignored. One ex-football player made a statement of fact about Far Raven’s size to Ryan that was intended as an insult, but he knew how to deflect that. However, most of their fellow students were gracious and glad to hear that she was doing so well, notably including one of Fat Raven’s ex-boyfriends. More than a few people expressed surprise that she and Ryan were happily married, as they were not at all each other’s “type” while in high school. Ryan did not draw nearly as much attention or interest as Fat Raven, but he expected that and didn’t mind.
However, the two did have a few surprises that evening. A girl who had always been very fat and was a wallflower type told Fat Raven that she really admired how beautiful and confident she was. One of the cheerleaders confided that she wished her husband didn’t insist that she stay so thin; having to constantly work out and starve herself was putting a strain on their relationship. Another girl asked Fat Raven if she were a feedee, and when she answered affirmatively, the girl shared that she secretly wished she could find a feeder and get fat, too, but couldn’t work up the nerve. One of Ryan’s soccer teammates elbowed Ryan in the ribs and winked and smiled and gave the thumbs up sign as he nodded his head toward Fat Raven, apparently approving of his taste in women. A couple of guys separately told Ryan that they were closet fat admirers and thought his wife was incredibly hot and that he was incredibly lucky.
But the biggest surprises and biggest honors, in their opinion, came from the voting the class members were asked to do in several categories, somewhat similar to how they had voted for “Most Likely to Succeed” and the like during their senior year. Ryan and Fat Raven together won both the “Least Likely Couple” and “Cutest Couple” categories, and Fat Raven was chosen as the female winner of the “Most Improved” category. Clearly more of their classmates were impressed with her as a person than were repulsed by her size.
On the way home that evening, Fat Raven said to Ryan, “Thanks for pushing me to come to this tonight, and helping me to be prepared. It was a lot of fun and I’m really glad I came.”
Chapter 10: Matchmaking and friend making
The next day, Ryan and Fat Raven were comparing notes on their interactions with their classmates at the reunion. The two were not by each other’s side the entire evening, so they had each had conversations and reactions that the other was unaware of. They both were specifically interested in hearing what their classmates thought of Fat Raven’s girth, and they each shared the private conversations they had had.
“It would seem that we know women who secretly want to get fat and men who are secret fat admirers,” observed Ryan. “Maybe we should try to connect them with each other,” suggested Fat Raven. "Set them up on dates or something,” she added.
“What about Ten Ton Tori? She’s already fat,” suggested Ryan. Tori was the wallflower girl. She had always been very fat and a social outcast. She was the typical fat girl with very low self-esteem, poor social skills, and no idea how to make herself look attractive through clothes, hair, and makeup. “Ten Ton” was the cruel nickname assigned to her by her peers when she was still a child.
“You like fat girls. If you didn’t have me, would you want to date Tori?” asked Fat Raven, deliberately avoiding the cruel nickname. Ryan said nothing. “I didn’t think so,” Fat Raven said, correctly assuming that a non-answer meant ‘no’. “Neither does anyone else. None of those guys who said they like fat girls, or any other guy, approached Tori last night. I’ve been thinking about her. I really feel sorry for her. I’m thinking I might see if she would let me mentor her in how to be an attractive, desirable BBW. With an extreme makeover and some training in social skills, she might be quite the catch. But she’s not there yet.”
“Well, you’re certainly an expert on being an attractive, desirable BBW, that’s for sure,” said Ryan sincerely.
“Thanks,” Fat Raven said as she smiled. “Oh, and please don’t call her ‘Ten Ton’ any more. It’s cruel,” she added. “How’s it any different than calling you ‘Fat Raven’?” Ryan asked sincerely. “It wouldn’t be, except that I chose to accept that label and embrace it, and that made it okay, at least coming from people who know that I’m okay with it. It was mean when I was called that before then. I can’t imagine Tori would ever want to hear those two words again, ever.”
“Tell you what,” said Fat Raven, changing the subject back to matchmaking. Why don’t you talk to the guys who are into fat girls and tell them you know of a few female classmates who aren’t presently fat but would secretly like to be. Don’t mention any names, but see if they’d be interested in being introduced. I’ll talk to the girls and see if they’d be interested in meeting classmates who secretly like fat girls, again without mentioning any names. If we get at least one of each who say yes, we can set them up on a date.”
“I guess I should start calling you my corpulent cupid, huh?” Ryan asked rhetorically as Fat Raven smiled.
So Ryan and Fat Raven did as she suggested. One of the guys and one of the girls, Lucas and Emma, respectively, were agreeable. After some negotiation, they agreed to a blind double date at a restaurant with an attached separate bar. The four of them would have dinner together, then assuming Lucas and Emma were both agreeable, those two would move to the bar while Ryan and Fat Raven left. Lucas and Emma could then choose to stay at the bar together, continue the date elsewhere, or go their separate ways, and could provide their contact info to the other, or not, as they saw fit. If Lucas and Emma didn’t hit it off at dinner, Ryan and Fat Raven would make sure she got to her car safely before they left.
On the appointed evening, Lucas and Emma arrived separately, neither knowing who their date for the evening would be. Once there, they of course recognized each other, but didn’t really know each other at all, as they had been in different social circles in high school. Each had been told the other’s secret, but didn’t know if their own secret had been shared. But Fat Raven put all of the cards on the table when she clarified that she and Ryan had shared each of their secrets with the other. She then had the two almost-strangers introduce themselves to each other.
Ryan and Fat Raven then explained to the other two how they had each gotten to the point where they mutually agreed that Fat Raven would gain weight, and they agreed to become feeder and feedee. They described what those terms meant, and the various ways they had performed in those roles as Fat Raven gained almost one hundred pounds as a feedee. They also emphasized that it wasn’t necessary to be feeder and feedee if they weren’t comfortable with that or they didn’t find it enjoyable. They could instead play the roles of gainer and encourager, where one gained weight on her own terms while the other encouraged her to do so and cheered her milestones. Lucas and Emma were both complete novices to the weight gain scene, and each soaked in all of this information like sponges.
Lucas and Emma decided to continue their date in the bar, and Ryan and Fat Raven wished them well and departed.
Meanwhile, Raven had contacted Tori and invited her to lunch. Raven shared her story and learned Tori’s. Tori worked as a data analyst for some government agency or another, and lived alone with her cat. Tori had never been on a date in her life; she’d never even been asked on a date. She really didn’t have any friends, either; just acquaintances. She had trouble making eye contact. Raven felt incredibly sad for Tori, and felt moved to try to help her, but know she wouldn’t appreciate being pitied or being someone’s “project”. She’d have to tread very carefully to earn Tori’s trust.
Raven asked Tori what she liked to do in her free time. It was apparent to Raven that Tori had a lot of it. Tori replied that she liked to watch rom-coms (romantic comedies) and play RPGs (role playing video games). Raven enjoyed those as well, and so they compared notes for a bit. Tori also said she liked to read and play with her cat.
“I’m sorry we weren’t friends in high school, Tori,” Raven told her. “I wasn’t very nice back then, but I’m not that person anymore. I’ve grown up a lot, and I see things from a different perspective. I’d like to be your friend now.”
“Why don’t we get together one evening and watch a rom-com or play a video game together?” suggested Raven. “Either at your place or at mine; I can kick Ryan out for the evening so it’s just us girls.” “Well, I don’t know…” replied Tori, sounding very uncertain and trailing off. Raven realized she was overwhelming Tori. “It’s okay; we don’t have to do that. It was just an idea. Is there something you’d like to do together?”
“Well, I’m enjoying having lunch with you. Maybe we can do it again.” “Let’s!” replied Raven. They exchanged phone numbers, as until now they’d communicated via e-mail since that was all Raven was able to get from the reunion committee. “Just let me know when you’d like to do it, and I’ll be there,” Raven assured her. Tori replied that she’d be in touch.
A couple of weeks after her blind date with Lucas, Emma shared with Fat Raven that they’d gone on several dates and things were looking very promising. Emma thanked her profusely for taking the initiative to introduce them, when she could have easily just done nothing. Fat Raven smiled to herself.
A month went by without Raven hearing from Tori. She decided to text her. Hey everything ok? Haven’t heard from u. Would still like 2 meet up Then crickets. Was Tori ghosting her? Raven tried to recall their conversation for any hints that she had done something to offend or upset Tori. About 26 hours later, Tori responded. Sorry. Didn’t think u meant it
Meant what?, Raven thought to herself. Meant it when I said I’d meet her again for lunch? She replied, Meant what?
Tori: When u said ud meet 4 lunch again. When u said u wanted 2 b friends
Raven: Of course I meant it. That’s y I wondered when I hadn’t heard from u
Tori: Sorry
Raven: So can we do lunch again? Maybe Wednesday, same place?
Tori: I have training all day Wednesday. Thursday?
Raven: Thursday it is then.
Raven wondered what that was all about. She didn’t think I wanted to be her friend or see her again, even though I had said I did? This girl is really, really insecure. It’s not going to be easy to make her attractive on the inside.
On Thursday, Raven got hung up at work and was five minutes late for her lunch with Tori. Tori said to her, “I didn’t think you were going to show.” Raven replied, “I’m guessing you’ve been stood up before.” She put her hand on Tori’s arm and continued, “I’m not that way, Tori. If I say I’ll be somewhere, then I’ll be there if it’s humanly possible. And when I said I wanted to be your friend, I meant that, too. Really. Okay?”
“I don’t know why you’d want to be my friend, Raven. I’m a terrible person,” Tori replied as she looked down, seemingly ashamed of herself for doubting her. “I don’t think that, Tori,” Raven replied. “I think you’re just insecure, and I think you could really use a friend.”
“I don’t think I even know how to be a very good friend,” said Tori. “Maybe that’s why I don’t have any. Anyone who’s tried to be my friend has given up. You probably will, too, and I don’t blame you.”
Raven felt incredibly sad for this poor, lonely girl. She resolved right then and there that she would not be just another person in Tori’s life who gave up on her. In that moment, it dawned on Raven how much she had changed as a person. The old Raven would have never given Tori the time of day. “You must be very lonely,” Raven said to Tori as compassionately as she could. “How about if I do all the work of being a friend to you? You just be on the receiving end for now.” “Why would you want to do that?” Tori asked.
Raven explained, “I don’t know exactly. Something in me has changed for the better. I care about things I never cared about before. I can think of two reasons. One is the example of my husband Ryan. We grew up as next-door neighbors, and we were best friends as kids. But all through middle school and high school, I wanted nothing to do with him. Not because he had done anything wrong; he just wasn’t cool enough. But when my life with the cool kids came crashing down around me four years ago and I desperately needed a friend, he was the only one who was there for me besides my family. It didn’t matter to him that I had treated him badly for all those years. His friendship with me was unconditional, and it had always been there; I had just been rejecting it. This really made me reevaluate my life choices, and I fell in love with this kind but not very cool man. That’s the kind of person I want to be. I’d like to think it’s the kind of person I’m becoming.
“The other reason is probably because I became a Christian nearly two years ago. My life had gone from terrible to amazing, and I discovered it was because people had been praying for me all that time – people who barely knew who I was. God was blessing me because of their prayers, even though I deserved nothing from him, and he got my attention. As I learned more about God, I found out that he had the biggest blessing waiting for me, if I would only accept it. That was forgiveness of my sins and eternal life through Jesus Christ. He had been drawing me to him so that I could accept this blessing, too. Of course, I did, and God has been working on making me a better person ever since.
“So that’s why I can say I’m not going to give up on you, Tori, and I hope you can believe it. How can I, when Ryan never gave up on me, and God never gave up on me, and my life is so much better because they didn’t?
“I don’t deserve your kindness,” said Tori. “Everybody deserves kindness, Tori,” said Raven. “Even you. It’s just that most people are very selective about who they give it to.”
Tori was painfully self-conscious about her weight, which Raven estimated to be in the 250-300 pound range. Tori knew it was the reason people had always been so mean to her. If Raven had been normal-sized, Tori would have assumed she was just setting her up to play a cruel prank on her, and would have rejected her offer of friendship. It wouldn’t have been the first time that someone had done that to her. But Raven was obviously even fatter than she was, and seemingly very sincere about wanting to be her friend. If Tori could trust anyone, it would have to be someone like Raven. Even though Tori was way out of her comfort zone about it, she said, “Okay, Raven. Let’s be friends. You’re going to have to be very patient with me, though, because I don’t have much experience with this, but I want to try.” “I will be, I promise,” said Raven.
“I don’t even know what friends are supposed to do, admitted Tori. Raven tried to explain. “Friends care about each other. They encourage each other. They help each other. They’re honest with each other, but in a kind way. They trust each other and open up to each other. They share each other’s joys and sorrows. They don’t get offended easily. They give each other the benefit of the doubt. They work things out when they do get annoyed at each other. They forgive each other. They stay in touch with each other and spend time together when they can.”
“That’s a lot to have to remember,” Tori observed. What Raven was able to list off the top of her head was unfamiliar to Tori. She really didn’t intuitively know how to be a friend or have someone be a friend to her. “How about if I write it down for you?” Raven suggested. “That would be very helpful,” Tori replied. If she were going to learn how to be friends, she knew she would need a cheat sheet to follow.
Raven realized that in order to help Tori, she would need to act as her life coach without Tori realizing it. Giving her a list of the expectations of friendship would be just the first step of many to help Tori become more socially adept, but Tori had asked for that list. Raven thought she probably needed to employ the same strategy to help her in other ways, when possible: create a situation where Tori would ask for Raven’s advice or help, rather than Raven just telling her what she needed to do. In some cases, Raven would need to provide unsolicited advice, but it would be better received if she could keep that to a minimum.
Another way Raven wanted to help Tori was as a fashion consultant. If Tori had an attractive hairstyle, wore make up, wore stylish clothes, etc., Raven knew it would do wonders for Tori’s self-esteem and would help other people to see her in a different light. What Tori really needed was an extreme makeover. But again, Raven knew she needed to take this slow and try to get Tori to ask her for help.
It occurred to Raven that she still had a lot of clothes she had outgrown as she had gained weight. She could offer these to Tori, who was probably the right size to fit into some of them, as a way of getting her to dress more stylishly without criticizing her current taste in clothing. Even if Raven lost weight and was that size again, it would be worth it to give the clothes to Tori and have to buy new clothes for herself.
Raven texted Tori and told her she had some outgrown clothes that Tori could probably wear, and they were all hers if she wanted them. Tori was receptive, so Raven invited her to come over and try them on and pick out what she wanted.
Raven had Ryan make himself scarce when Tori would be coming over. Tori arrived and Raven asked her what size she wore in order to narrow down which clothes she needed to bring out for Tori to try on, but Tori was too embarrassed to tell her. So Raven brought out all of her outgrown clothes, and let Tori fend for herself. Tori wouldn’t let Raven see her undress, either, so Tori tried on clothes in the bedroom while Raven waited in the living room.
Raven, however, insisted that Tori let her see her wearing everything she tried on that was the correct size. So, one article of clothing after another, Tori would put it on and come out to the living room. Raven invariably oohed and aahed at how good the clothes looked on Tori. Raven could see Tori’s confidence building as the session went on; she was completely unaccustomed to being complimented on her appearance. Tori ended up taking everything in her size.
A few days later, Tori texted Raven and thanked her for the clothes; she reported that she had been wearing them to work and receiving compliments from her coworkers. Tori then added that maybe she should bring Raven with her when she went clothes shopping in the future. Raven replied that she’d be happy to come along anytime. Raven smiled to herself. Her plan was working!