June 17

Today is the first day of writing in the e-diary Master has installed for me on my computer. I've never kept a diary, so I'm not really sure what I'm suppose to write. Jon told me to just write something in it every day. What do people write in diaries? What they do each day, I suppose. That could be boring. Maybe it's less about what I do, and more about how I feel about what happened during the day. Maybe I can look it up on-line. Maybe I'm over-thinking this!

It's only 7:00 in the morning, so it's not like I've done anything of interest yet. I woke up about twenty minutes ago and ran to pee. Should I write about that? The entries should probably be made at the end of the day so there's something to write about. I think this would already be boring to anyone reading it. At least I won't be boring my Sir; he said he wouldn't be reading my diary. "It's for your private thoughts," he said.

Oh well...it's the first day and Master is going to be gone all weekend, so I have plenty of time to figure this out. I have the mansion to myself. Hahaha, the mansion! I still can't believe I live in a house bigger than Daddy's. This place is (should I cuss?) *^$!*ing huge!

Jon left for Germany last night. He's got meetings with several fabric suppliers today, and is meeting with one of his favorite designers for dinner tonight. It was an unexpected trip, and I don't have my passport yet, so I'm stuck here at home. Stuck in this huge palace alone. Stuck here with my closet full of spandex clothing, and a room in the basement full of toys. Bondage toys. It's really weird typing all of this. It's like just typing whatever comes into my silly blond head. I'm going to go make something for breakfast and come back to it in awhile. Tata! (Gosh this is silly!).

Okay, I'm back. While I was eating I was thinking about the diary. Since I have all weekend and there won't be all that much of interest to write about, I was thinking my writing today could be more of a reflection on my life since meeting Jon. There's been so much he's done for me, and changed in my life, it might be good to think back on how things happened and how I've changed.

So...I'll start...(thinking, thinking)...

It's been nearly a year since I first set eyes on Jon, sitting alone at a table in 'Java the Hut', sipping his coffee, and reading his newspaper. I still can't explain the feeling I got when I saw him. It was like an instant attraction. I got my tea and turned to find a table, but they were all taken. As if I was a metallic robot and he was a magnet, I was drawn to his table. He looked up from his paper, glanced at the tables nearby, and then asked if I would like to share the table with him.

We chatted about news from the front page of his paper, and he was impressed with how well informed I was on current affairs. I remember thinking how refreshing it was to meet a guy who didn't ask a bunch of probing personal questions, or tell me his life story to try and impress me.

But then, he was obviously not a kid from the college. He was a man, probably ten years older than me. When he excused himself from the table he wrote his phone number on a napkin and placed it in front of me. He said he enjoyed our chat, and that I should give him a call if I wanted to get together some time.

That little white square of paper sat on my dormroom desk for a week. It would wink at me while I worked on my coursework. By the end of the week I began to worry that he wouldn't remember me if I called. For some reason that bothered me, as if I didn't want him to forget me.

When I finally worked up the nerve to call, he sounded delighted to hear from me. He was just heading out to go shopping, and he invited me to go with him. I thought that was an odd thing to do if it was to be considered a date, but I love to shop, so why not? Half an hour later he was pulling up in front of my building in his car. If writing in this diary is suppose to be about expressing my feelings, here I'd have to say I was more than just a little uneasy when we arrived at the shop. First off, it was located in Dinky Town, an area lined with XXX signs. Raised in a conservative Catholic family, I felt like just being on that street was somehow a sin.

The store we went into was a clothing store, so my anxiety was reduced a little bit - until I saw what they sold, that is. It was obviously fetish wear! Lots of leather costumes, negligees and sexy underwear, high heel shoes and boots, and lots of stuff I didn't even know what use they had. A woman came out from behind the counter, clothed in some sort of skin-tight fabric that clung to her body like it was painted on. Every detail of her body was visible. I'm not sure what shocked me the most; my reaction to the clothing, or my reaction to how stunningly beautiful the woman was. Whichever it was, it made me blush, and I know Jon saw that.

The woman brought a box over and handed it to Jon, calling him by name when they met. Jon introduced me, but my brain was malfunctioning at this point so I don't remember her name. Apparently Jon came to the store often, as they chatted like old friends. Now my level of discomfort was really high. What had I gotten myself into? Who was this guy? He was a stranger, and I was in Dinky Town in a S&M shop with him!! My mind was concocting out all sorts of horrible scenarios.

Jon was moving through the racks of clothing, touching them as he walked. Not knowing what else to do, I followed. He stopped at a large bin filled with what looked like rubber panties and started sorting through them. I saw on the sign overhead that they were made of something called spandex. It seemed odd for him to be rummaging through a bin of panties, and then it stuck me that he was probably married! What a fool I was! I remember thinking I should just leave, but he had driven me there, and it was a long way back to campus. Moments later, though, he decided on a pair of pink knickers, and headed towards the register.

When the transaction was done, I was surprised when he handed me the bag. "A little something for coming with me, my dear. I always feel awkward coming in here by myself. It was nice to have a woman with me for a change."

I took the package, and barely managed a "thank you", as his words rumbled around in my noggin. He was thanking me for coming with him, and telling me how awkward he feels when he goes there. Just like I felt awkward! That somehow made me feel better about being there. I hadn't really thought about it at the time, but his reference to me as a woman made a big impact on me, too. No one had referred to me as a woman before, and I'm sure that had something to do with me calling him again. I wanted to be a woman, and to have others think of me that way. I was tired of being 'daddy's little girl.'

To tell the truth (and I have no reason to lie to myself in my own diary!) I was scared to open that box, even when my room-mate, Samantha, was gone and I had the dorm room to myself. It was three days before I ripped open the box and tried them on. It would amuse Jon to know that I tried them on the first time over my regular panties. Modelling in front of my full length mirror, I could see how ridiculous that looked and knew I would have to lose the panties underneath. When I pulled them up over my bare bottom it was a life changing event! Damn! The spandex felt so good against my flesh, and made me feel so sexy!

That was the first spandex item Jon bought for me. Over the next couple of weeks he bought me more, and I really began to love the feel of spandex. We also played games where he would tell me what items of spandex clothing to wear when we met, and I would obey. He would ask me to do things and I always did them, even when it was something embarrassing. I really didn't understand dominant and submissive personalities back then (not that it's been that long ago) but Jon had a way of speaking to me when he wanted me to do certain things, and I, for some reason, felt compelled to do them.

"I would like you to call me Sir," he said to me one day, and I did. It made me feel giddy inside to call him Sir. That was the day he had me put my hand down inside my spandex shorts and rub my pussy. I knew I was already horny from being near him and wearing those tight fitting shorts, but when my fingers touched my flesh down there I found I was really super wet!

"Now suck on your fingers, Gwendolyn," he said, after I'd been massaging myself for awhile. "Taste your arousal."

I hesitated.

"Do it now, Gwen!" His voice was more stern than I had heard it before. Not in a mean way, but in a tone that was serious, as if he wanted me to know he wasn't kidding around. It was an order.

I removed my fingers and put them up near my mouth. I could smell my sex just before I tasted the wetness on my fingers. That was so embarrassing, but I did it again later that night in my room. After that, I had a difficult time not fingering myself when I wore the latex shorts. When Jon found out I was doing that, he ordered me to stop; to only finger myself when he told me I could. It seemed like an empty command because, let's face it, I could do it when ever I wanted to and he would never know, but I never did! I loved being ordered about by Jon, to do what he told me to do, and even though the urge to satisfy my own needs was strong, I think my desire to do as Jon wants has always been stronger.

Well, that's probably enough about the really early days that Jon and I were together. I've got to get out and stretch my legs, maybe jog a little, and then come back to this later.

2:30pm

That was a nice run, and I never had to leave the property! We have such an amazing estate! Thank you, Master, for sharing it with me!

While I was jogging, I thought about my writing, and decided that even though you said you'd never read this, I would like to write it to you, Master, like I'm talking to you. It wasn't always this way, it's something that has sort of evolved over time, but I feel now that everything I do is done for you. If I do well in my college courses, it's so you will have an intelligent slave. If I jog every day and work out in our gym, it's so you will be pleased with my body.

I've already written a little about how I came to love spandex, so while I was jogging I thought about other things that have changed for me - other things I would never do, but now enjoy. Towards the top of that list would have to be exhibitionism. I never even considered showing myself off in any state of undress before meeting you, Master. Not that I'm always undressed when you have me show myself off; being in skin tight spandex in public is practically like being naked. Thinking back on the things you had me do, I can see how you nudged me ever so slowly towards fully showing myself off in spandex. You told me once I was naturally an exhibitionist, just like you said I was naturally submissive. You were probably correct on both counts.

The times you've had me go on stage to model your fashion creations I've been embarrassed at first, but I've always warmed up to it as I modeled, and ended up enjoying it a lot. It's really scandalous, when I think about it, but I get so aroused by being so exposed. Besides that, there's always that element of danger when I think about my parents seeing me in a spandex outfit. Usually when I'm doing something crazy for you like that I'm also wearing my slave collar. I'm blushing right now, Master, as I think of running into mum and dad while wearing a collar and one of my spandex outfits. In the skin-tight fabric, molded to the curves of my body, it would be like standing in front of them naked. I hope that never happens, but the thought of it is enough to ensure the experience of being in public in one of my spandex outfits never gets to be routine. There's always an element of danger!

Another thing on my list would be having a Sapphic lover. Having intimate relations with another woman was not something I ever imagined doing, but when you introduced me to Suki that all changed.

At first, I was not very pleased when you introduced me to your Japanese photographer friend. I didn't understand who she was, and what type of relationship you two shared. I was so embarrassed the first time I met her at the mall theater. Even though the doors were locked and it was only the three of us, it was still unnerving to be photographed by a stranger in so intimate a setting. That was also the first time I ever saw you in one of your spandex, full-body, Zentai suits, and the first time I was called Concubine. Even if I felt a little uncomfortable at the time, I look back on that night fondly. We'd had sex before that, but somehow the spandex, and Suki, and the photographs, were all so hot that it really changed the way I thought about sex. It was very exciting!

After that first night with Suki, I was still a little jealous of her when she showed up at the Bridal Show downtown. Of course she was a well-known photographer, so her being hired to capture the catwalk models on film was not a surprise, it's just that she seemed to be popping up everywhere we went. I didn't understand until later that you both just ran in the same circles, and were such good friends. It took awhile for it to sink in that she was not competing for your affections. Once I got past that and spent some time with her, I was able to loosen up and enjoy her company just like you do. Now I can say I really, really, like her.

Just like wearing spandex in public, there are other things that you have done with me that are insanely scandalous. Your use of the butterfly vibrator made me orgasm in public several times. I think I like the vibrating panties you bought me last month more than the butterfly because the vibrator rests against my clit more securely. That is so wonderful, Master! I still can't believe what you did to me this past Halloween. When we showed up at my parent's party in our costumes my mother's face went so white I thought she'd had a stoke. Not that it would be funny if that had really happened, but when she saw me in my short spandex schoolgirl skirt and that crop-top that barely covered my bra-less tits, I really thought I was going to lose her. With the short skirt and tiny top, I don't think she even noticed your collar around my neck. Of course it was Halloween, and everyone probably thought it was part of the costume, but little did they know that I was wearing my slave collar - the one I wear every day to show I belong to you.

Staying out of my mother's sight the rest of the night was a challenge, but we did run into Daddy several times. He had that look that told me he didn't approve, but with you by my side he didn't say anything. I don't know if it was the costume or all of the attention I was getting from his co-workers and clients that was causing him concern. Then when we won the Best Costume contest and had to go up in front of everyone, I thought it was me who was going to have the stroke. You really dialed up the vibrator held in the little crotch pocket of my panties. I saw some people near us looking around trying to figure out where that buzzing noise was coming from. And speaking of cumming, I was doing everything I could do to keep from exploding right in front of everyone.

As we do every time we visit my parents house, you took me up to my old bedroom (which my parents still keep for me), and fucked me silly. I know you do that for me since it's been my way of being rebellious in my father's house, and I appreciate that, Master. Now that I'm living with you I think we can stop doing it, if it's okay with you. I'm not a child any more, and being rebellious is just so childish. It's always been exciting to think that one, or both, of them could walk through the door at any time and catch us "in the act", but if I wanted to shock them now I could just be honest about the relationship I have with you, and what goes on at your house.

I'm actually a little surprised at my parents for being so supportive of our relationship, to tell you the truth. At first I thought it was because you're wealthy, but I think it's really because you're successful and you take such good care of me. They don't have to worry about me when I'm with you. (Although maybe they should, teehee!)

Little do they know I'm your 'kept woman', your slave, and your Concubine. I love being those things, Master. I love being your thing, your plaything, to do what you want with. I love obeying your commands and wearing your collar. I love how you take control of me and stretch what I thought would be my limits, but also how you seem to know just how far those limits can be stretched without me totally freaking out!

Maybe someday I'll tell my parents that I'm your slave, or maybe they'll figure it out on their own. I don't know. I think when the time is right we'll know it. I just know that they're not ready for that news just yet, and I'm not ready to tell them.

Time to do some housework, Master.

10:00pm

Your Concubine was a good girl this afternoon, Master, and gave your study, library, and game room a very thorough cleaning. You'll be pleased to know that I wore my usual cleaning outfit. The thought crossed my mind to stay in the shorts and t-shirt I was in earlier, but you did say that those were the clothes I was to wear when I cleaned, and I don't remember you saying, "when I'm not here you can wear whatever you want." So I changed.

Honestly, I love to wear my cleaning outfit. It's so sexy! I get horny just thinking about it, and right now, I'm thinking about it! Damn! Now I'm all "horned up", as you like to say. I don't know if I like that phrase, but I know you like it, so it really doesn't matter whether I like it or not. And since I'm all horned up (and have some time to kill before you call me at midnight) I'll try to type out how I dressed for my chores today.

As you know, I keep that outfit in the middle drawer of the tall dresser in my walk-in closet. I closed the closet door so I could use the full length mirror that hangs on the inside of the door. After stripping off my shorts and t-shirt, I stood for a moment to cool off. I don't know why, but that closet seems to be a couple of degrees cooler than the bedroom. While I waited, I removed the little cylinder vibrator from the charger and slipped it into the small sewn in pocket in the crotch of my spandex panties. By this time my nipples were hard, but I don't know if this meant my body had cooled down, or if I was already getting turned on. Stepping through the straps of the pink spandex panties, I pulled them up and into place. The vibrator was nestled against my pussy, and pushed up against my clit.

My hands were shaking as I stepped into my spandex shorts. Knowing that the vibrator will be pressed against me by two layers of snugly fitting spandex is still very exciting to me in a sexual sort of way. The thing was not even turned on yet...but I sure was!! Moving my legs to pull on the white spandex stockings rubbed that little silver cylinder against my crotch, teasing me even further. With the stockings pulled up, I wrapped the spandex garter belt around my waist and clipped it together in back. The hanging straps, which only really serve to provide a sexy visual effect, were clipped to the tops of the stockings. I couldn't wait to slip into my four inch pink heels so I could look at my reflection in the mirror. Whenever I wear my heels (which is not often enough in my humble opinion) I think of you, sweet Sir. We've seen models, especially in fetish shows, wearing six inch stilettos, and you've expressed your disapproval of the shoes, saying that the shoes will damage their feet. When I wear my heels I feel so loved because you will not allow me to wear heels very often, and never a heel over four inches. Thank you for taking such good care of your humble slave, Master!

After modelling in front of the mirror for a couple of minutes, I stepped into the short pink spandex skirt and pulled it up until the waist band rested on my hips. Knowing that this "maid's outfit" is one of your designs makes me smile every time I wear it. Even though it's fetish-wear, how many people can say what they're wearing was designed and made specifically for them? Well, very rich people can, I'm sure, but not the average fetishist on the street. Haha...is that a word? The point is, every detail of the way I would look was in your mind when you created the pattern for this spandex outfit. It was made to fit me perfectly, and it does. I tugged at the hem a little so that the slight wave in the material flowed evenly around the bottom. Looking in the mirror again, I admired the one inch gap between the top of the stockings and the bottom of the skirt where my bare legs were exposed. The garter straps were clearly visible. I know how you love this look, and I was getting even hornier thinking about how you look at me when I wear the uniform. I was tempted to activate the vibe, but resisted the urge.

Anxious to get to my chores (and to turn the vibe on), I pulled the pink spandex top over my head and tugged it into place. There was the usual ruffling of the thin spandex around the short sleeves to make sure all of the fabric was out, and not trapped against my arm, and then I adjusted the bottom and back so it pressed against my flesh evenly. I used the mirror again to ensure my collar was on straight, and that the tag hung correctly in front.

The pink leather of the collar goes perfectly with the spandex maids uniform. I stood and looked at the little silver tag hanging from the d-ring in the front and thought about the day you gave me the collar and asked me to be your full-time submissive. What a wonderful birthday present that had been! As the tag states - I'm your Beloved Pet, and am The Property of Jon. Both 'things' I truly want to be.
 
Finally, I took the small pink leather hat that goes with the outfit and used several hairpins to hold it in place on my head. With all of that done, I used the remote to set the vibrator on low, and went to get my cleaning supplies. As you well know, Master, the vibrator can not make me climax at that low setting, but can definitely be felt. I know it's your intention to arouse me, but not over-arouse me. It's maddening!!

So that was my preparations to do my chores, much like any other day, except you were not here to watch me work, Master. I felt a little silly doing the cleaning in the outfit because there was no one here to see me, but I'm so used to wearing it when I clean that it would seem sort of odd not to be wearing it. The one thing I was worried about tonight, though, was if my parents were to drop by unexpectedly. If you were here you could stall them while I changed clothes. Or would you make me answer the door?! Oh god, that would be so embarrassing! I'd have to pretend to be someone else!

"Bonjour...pruis-je vous aider?" My French sucks but I think that means Hello, can I help you?

"Dame Gwendolyn? Oui. Un instant s'il vous plaît." One moment please.

And then I'd run off to hide in my bedroom. Yes, I know, it would never work. There's no way they wouldn't recognize me. I'm just being silly again, Master.

Oh! Look at the time! You should be calling me any moment, so I'll sign out of my new diary for today. Thank you for getting this for me, I think I'm going to like writing in it, and maybe someday you'll ask to read it.

Good-bye for now.

-Your devoted Concubine, Gwen.  ♥