“Ladies and Gentleman!” the well-dressed saleswoman proclaimed. “Step right up and see the revolutionary new technique for budget travel!”

The shout turned a few heads. This was mostly due to the fact she wasn’t standing in a booth at a carnival, where such a shout might have made sense. She was standing in front of a folding table at tourist-packed intersection of a big city. She was even more of an oddity than the man in an Elmo costume charging for hugs a few yards away.

Undeterred by the lukewarm glances of confusion, she continued her sales pitch.

“For too long our airlines have held us hostage, charging exorbitant fees for travel. How many times have you taken a flight with your children, your parents, your significant other, only to have to buy a ticket for every member of your family?”

She waited patiently.

“Uh… Every time?” a young woman from the slowly growing circle of onlookers. “That’s how travel works.”

The saleswoman clapped and pointed. “That’s right! But it need not for you. Not anymore. Are you here alone, miss?”

“Uh, no. This is my husband here.”

“Great! Do you live here?”

“No. We’re here on vacation.”

“Did you come by plane?”

“Yes. From Wisconsin.”

She clapped again.

“Exceptional! Now I realize that it is too late for you to cash in your return ticket, but what I am going to teach you here to day, free of charge will not only double the amount of room for one of you on the return trip, it’ll cut your travel expenses in half for the rest of your lives.”

The would-be customer glanced at the table. It was completely empty. No pamphlets, no gadgets.

“How…” she said suspiciously.

“Are you adventurous, miss?”

“Um… Not really.”

“And how about your man? Does he walk on the wild side?”

“More than I do.”

The saleswoman turned to him.

“Then sir, how would you like to help out with a little demonstration.”

Both women looked expectantly to the man. He shrugged.

“Sure, why not?”

“Fantastic. Watch closely, everyone, because what you are about to see will change your lives! Hop up on the table, sir. Have no fear, it is good and sturdy. Quite able to support your weight.”

He sat on the edge of the table.

“Lay back, sir, and relax.” She looked up to the rest of the crowd as he did as he was told. “What you are about to see is entirely within your capability to do with just a bit of practice using my special training system. First, place your hands on the abdomen!”

She placed both hands on his stomach.

“Now, with a brisk, firm motion, press down and spread out.”

She heaved downward on her hands. They slapped down, not against his belly, but against the table. He huffed a startled breath, then a soft, stifled groan as she slid her hands a part. What they revealed appeared to be little more than a well-pressed patch of shirt with nothing to fill it. As she continued to slide her hands across the table, his body easily collapsed beneath them and was left two dimensional. He managed a half syllable of objection before her hand glided across his face and left it little more than a flattened bit of floppiness.

His legs were still full thickness, and kicking wildly, but she deftly scrunched a bit of his chest in one hand and kept the other flat against the table. A long, slow drag pulled his body under the firmly pressed hand until what had once been a full grown man was now a bunched up ribbon of flattened cloth and warm flesh.

The crowd erupted into a mixture of gasps and cheers at what they now assumed was a bit of unexpected street magic.

“Wh-what did you do to—” the tourist woman began.

The saleswoman silenced her with a raised hand.

“I’m sorry, miss, but all questions must be saved for the end of the demonstration. This next part is the tricky bit, so watch closely. You’ll want to pinch here, just at the shoulder, and here, just at the hip… Tug them both up and raise the shoulder up…”

She demonstrated the procedure step by step, calling out any particularly complex steps. The man’s arm was tucked neatly behind him, then the other. His body was folded backward, such that his heels met his head from behind, then another poke and slide tucked the other arm between. The shoulders were raised up and folded even with the waist, the head was wrapped around behind. Pinch, pinch. Flip, flip, tuck, tuck. When she was through, his body was neat bundle barely larger than a folded t-shirt. Most of his face was resting on top.

“Now I know what you are thinking. That is a handy way to reduce a second passenger to a personal item, easy enough to stuff into any tote, bag, or pack. But I’ve already packed all of my bags as tight as I can and I just can’t fit even a portable hubby in my carry on luggage. Well, not to fear, because what you see here is just phase one of my revolutionary technique.”

“Wait, wait!” the tourist woman said.

“Please, miss. Questions at the end.” She picked up the folded man and gripped him by one end. “Next we take a firm grip one the folded item and, with alternating twists…”

She started to vigorously twist and turn her hands. Inch by inch she rolled the neatly folded man into a tight tube. When she was through, he was reduced to a cylinder just a bit fatter than a beer can. Keeping it firmly in her grip to keep it from uncoiling, she maneuvered it between her hands.

“It’s important you do this quickly, because it’s going to make them squirm and if you don’t get it done in a single motion they could ruin your neat fold. One, two—”

“Wait!” the “customer” said.

“Three!”

The saleswoman forced her hands together and the fat can flattened between them. She took one hand away and presented the woman with what looked like a thick, glossy square the color of her husband’s shirt. She took it by one edge and flipped it up. The reduced man produced a sound like a piece of plastic wobbling to and fro, with just the slightest hint of a muffled whimper.

“There we have it! Pocket-sized, wafer thin, and light as a feather.” She handed him to his wife. “Travel easy, miss.”

She took it in a trembling hand. She tried to peel him apart with her fingernail, but scraping at his edge just caused another plastic-sounding wobble and a slightly sharper grunt.

“H-how do I… Uh… Unfold him?” she asked, clearly frazzled.

“Simple. First, you fly home, with two luxurious seats to yourself. Then…”

She snatched the folded man back and produced a marker. With a flurry of squeaking and scribbling, she jotted down an email address on him and handed him back.

“Then you send an email to this address in order to purchase our highly affordable five-week online course on restoration and application. Enjoy!” She turned back to the crowd. “Who else would like a demonstration!”

~~~

The tourist stared down at her reduced husband. She gave the card a flex and listened to him softly yelp. It wasn’t strictly a sound of discomfort or fear. She’d heard him make a sound like that before, and it was usually when she was willing to try indulge him in a new position in the bedroom. He was enjoying this.

She blushed slightly and wobbled the little square, a playful grin coming to her face as she heard his groaning take on a steadily higher pitch. Maybe there was some fun to be had with this after all. With a slow, deliberate motion, she slid him into her back pocket before continuing on her way.