A man in a somewhat disheveled tuxedo shifted uncomfortably in his sleep. There was a soft tinkling noise, like someone tapping a wine class with a spoon, disturbing what had been a glorious slumber. He tried to roll aside and reach for the lamp on his end table, but the bed ended far more quickly than he’d expected and he tumbled to the floor.
“Wha… What the… Where am I?” he muttered, full consciousness bringing with it the awareness of a throbbing headache.
He got up and dusted himself off, only to find his “bed” had actually been the top of a grand piano. This was not his bedroom, it was an upscale bar, and from the looks of it, the place had been the site of one hell of a party. Napkins and empty glasses were everywhere. Chairs were askew or overturned. Every surface had some combination of half-eaten hors d’oeuvres or spilled drinks. Most notably, more than a few discarded sets of clothing were scattered about, including a pair of silk stockings hanging from a chandelier.
The tinkling noise continued, now much quicker and more insistent. He turned. A comically oversized brandy glass, serving as a tip char, had been set on the piano. Inside the jar was a pleasantly plump woman, about four inches tall and utterly nude. She was sitting among a mound of singles, fives, and tens, as well as assorted change.
“Hey!” She called out. “Hey!”
He scratched his head and re-tied his tie. “Hello, Miss. I don’t suppose you work here, do you?”
“Of course I work here!” she snapped. “I’m the piano player, remember?”
“Well…” He fixed his hair and pulled a white handkerchief to wipe his face. “No, actually. I think I may have had rather too much to drink last night.”
Nothing in his expression or voice suggested he was at all confused by the presence of a tiny naked woman, which was probably nearly as bizarre as the woman herself.
“Get me out of here and put me back to normal!” she squealed, pressing herself against the glass and causing her chest to smoosh against it as she hammered angrily with her fists.
“One moment, ma’am. Can you remind me exactly what happened here first?”
She crossed her arms. “Fine… Frankly, you need to know the trouble you’ve caused.”
~~~
The same man, several hours before his conversation with the diminished pianist, stumbled through the door of the hotel’s private lounge.
“Ladies and Gentleman, Happy Easter!” he slurred.
All eyes turned to him. He was already a bit tipsy. His thin, attractive face had the rosy cheeks of growing inebriation, but his tailored tuxedo still hung neatly on his lean frame. He had a top hat cocked rakishly to the side and on each arm was a woman dressed in skimpy but snappy outfits. On the left was a woman in a sexy, tight outfit featuring fishnet stockings, a tuxedo shirt and jacket, a bow tie, and a top hat. On the right was the woman’s identical twin, indistinguishable from her sister but for her playboy bunny outfit, which was considerably more realistic than what one would normally expect to find. The ears were adorably fuzzy and twitched and angled as though she could actually hear with them. Similarly, her powder puff tail wriggled happily. She also clutched an Easter basket in one hand, half-filled clear plastic eggs of various colors. Both were ravishingly beautiful.
“My name is Gary the Great, the lovely lady in the Zatana-esque outfit is Glitz, and her bunny of a sister is Glamour. I realize I’m not scheduled to perform here tonight, but gosh darn it, we feel like celebrating. Because I just came back from selling out the State Theater for the… Oh, dear, I seem to have forgotten. How many times was it, Glitz?”
“Sixteen times!” she crowed with a wide smile.
“That’s right, that’s right,” he said. “And, I forget… How many magicians have done that before, Glamour?”
“Zero!” Glamour said, shaking her little tail all the more merrily.
“That’s right! We have set the record for not only magicians, but performers at the State Theater, and I couldn’t have done it without these wonderful young ladies. And I say that deserves a little bit of fun!” Gary proclaimed.
The bar patrons, clearly intrigued by the possibility of a private show, applauded.
“Now these girls here, they’ve been my assistants for quite a while, but we’ve collaborated on much of my current act. I used to work alone, after all, so they were instrumental in adjusting my performances to include not one, but two other performers. They’ve acquitted themselves wonderfully of some early missteps, and so I think the time has come for them to put together some of their own tricks! What do you folks think?”
Glitz and Glamour encouraged the bar-goers to applaud, and soon the place was thunderous with the sound.
“Well alright then. There are only three problems. First, these lovely ladies don’t know any actual magic… yet. So I’ll have to be their assistant for the evening, following their lead to facilitate the tricks. That leads us to the second problem, which is without me as their subject, they’ll need to rely entirely upon you good people to help with the tricks. Is that okay with you all?”
Again, there was a unanimous round of applause.
“Great! And the final snag in our little plan is that, while I put on what amounts to more or less a family show, these ladies have been chomping at the bit to do something a little more… saucy. Anyone mind if things get a little blue?”
A naughty chuckle permeated the crowd.
“That settles it then. Ladies, you’ve got a room full of consenting adults, so let’s get started. Bartender, step aside. I’ll be serving the drinks while these ladies are serving up the entertainment,” he said, marching behind the bar.
The bartender, who was an elegantly dressed woman with a red flower in her hair, stood in his way.
“I’m afraid you can’t do that, sir,” she said.
“I can’t?” he said, tipping his hat aside to scratch his head. “Hold on, hold on, it’s been a while since I’ve had to do this.”
He cleared his throat, set his hat carefully on the bar, and took a deep breath.
“You dare oppose the great and powerful Gary!?” he said, his voice suddenly an echoing, terrifying boom.
As he spoke, a wind swirled in through the door and the lights flickered and flared.
Her eyes opened wide. She answered again, this time sheepishly. “I… It’s just that we are a fine establishment and we wouldn’t want someone who can’t satisfy our customers’ needs behind the bar.”
“Oh!” he said, once more with the thunderous voice. “Is that all?” He cleared his throat and replied in a normal tone. “Why didn’t you say so? I’ll just demonstrate my abilities. You, sir, what’ll you have?”
The man he indicated, a rather bro-y guy in a poorly tailored suit sitting beside a cougar of a woman who had likely dragged him to this bar rather than the club where he might have fit in, looked around for a moment.
“Uh… Red Bull.”
“We’re looking for a mixed drink, sir,” Gary said flatly. “That’s sort of how you test a bartender. Or hadn’t you been paying attention?”
“Oh… Uh… I don’t know, make me a martini I guess.”
Both Glitz and Glamour laughed, as did Gary.
“I told you it would work, Gary!” Glamour said.
“That you did! Sir, you are redeemed. And I’m sure you’ll be getting a kiss from Glamour when the show is over, because you just won her a hundred dollars. I bet her no one would use the right phrasing the first time.”
He snatched his hat up and popped it on the man’s head, then pounded his fist down over it. The hat slid down over his head, then popped over his shoulders. The man’s upper body seemed to vanish as it slipped past the stretching brim. Gary pushed hard over the bar until the hat met the chair, then grabbed the brim on either side and tipped the hat quickly backwards. The man’s legs slipped inside and he had entirely vanished.
“How let’s see here,” Gary said, selecting a glass shaker from behind the bar. “All we need is some gin and some vermouth…”
He dosed the proper amounts into the shaker.
“And now normally we’d have some crushed ice, but… well, your boyfriend seemed pretty cool, miss,” Gary said.
He reached into the hat and pulled out the boyfriend. He was now naked and just shy of one twelfth his previous size. Gary stuffed him into the shaker, popped the lid on, and started to shake. At first, it was just a jumbled mess of struggling man and garbled and gargled curses. Slowly, though, the form of the man became less distinct, the flesh tone spreading and mixing with the shaking liquor.
“And…” Gary said, holding the shaker up to his ear. “Just about… almost… There. Little known fact, the way you know a martini is perfectly mixed is when it stops cursing at you.”
He set down a glass and tipped out the contents of the shaker. A tan-ish liquid sloshed out and filled the angular martini glass right to the brim.
“There you are! The man said make him a martini, I made him a martini. And since he’s not going to drink it, ma’am?”
Gary offered the concoction to the now unaccompanied woman. She looked uncertainly at it.
“Relax, it’s just a trick,” he said. “And besides, we both know he was hoping to get inside you tonight. Why not grant that wish?”
She took the glass and, upon realizing the whole crowd was watching her expectantly, took a sip. The instant the liquid touched her tongue, her expression changed to one of uncertainly to one of lustful delight. The drink was so delicious, and so lively! She tipped the glass back and drained it into her mouth, swishing it back and forth before swallowing it down. Even as it trickled down her throat, she could swear she felt it vibrating and massaging at her, like it was quivering with delight at the honor of slipping down her moist, tight esophagus.
“That was magnificent!” the woman said. “Can I have another?”
“Of course you can, ma’am, but you’ll need to find another boyfriend first.”
The audience laughed and Gary smiled. “Ladies and gentlemen, that particular trick was dreamed up by Glamour, let’s give her a round of applause. Now girls, the show’s yours. Take it away.”
“Okay, okay. Since I’ve already won one bet tonight, I’m feeling lucky,” Glamour said, flicking her ears and setting her Easter basket on the nearest table. “How about another bet?”
The audience murmured in approval.
“Okay, great! You sir, I’m going to hide each and every Easter egg in this basket, and even though I’m going to let you watch me hide them, I bet you won’t be able to find a single one. If I win, I get the prize of my choice. If I lose, you get the prize of your choice. What do you say?”
The man she indicated nodded. “Sure, why not?”
“Here we go!”
She took the first egg and gently placed it atop her cleavage and then, with a light nudge, popped it between her breasts. One by one she did the same with each of the other eggs. One or two might have been able to squeeze between her breasts without showing, but she managed the full dozen without a single stray lump appearing in the front of her black spandex leotard.
“Okay, sir. Care to go on an Easter egg hunt?” she said.
He smiled devilishly and stood. “You know it.”
“You’ve got thirty seconds to find one of the eggs, or I win. Ready? Go.”
The man quickly reached out and clutched her breasts, squeezing and massaging them with no indication that he was particularly interested in finding an egg.
“Mmm… You’ve got good hands sir, but the clock is ticking. Twenty seconds left…” she purred, letting him toy with her breasts a bit longer.
He reluctantly took one hand from her glorious chest to feel along her midriff to where the eggs should have gone if they’d actually slipped between her breasts. There was nothing.
“Fifteen seconds.”
He looked her in the eye, smiled again, and eased his fingers down between her breasts. The smooth warmth of her breasts against his arm seemed to go on forever, and soon he was elbow deep in her cleavage with no eggs felt along the way.
“Five… Four…”
He started to rummage around a bit more urgently now, even going so far as to thrust the other arm between her breasts.
“Two… One and a half… One and a quarter… Come on sir, times running out… Aaaaaand, zero. Sorry sir, that’s the game. Time to pay up!”
“What do you w—“ the man began to answer.
He probably continued to answer, but by the end of the sentence no one could hear him. The warm, pillowy pressure around his arm clutched tighter and he was suddenly drawn inward. His head slipped between the breasts and the rest of his body soon followed, with his kicking legs vanishing between the perky boobs so swiftly one of his shoes bounced to the floor.
“There,” she said. “Quite a worthy prize, I’d say.”
Most of the audience applauded the trick, but one woman, notably, neglected to join in with the rest of the crowd.
“Oh, oh! Someone isn’t impressed,” Glitz said, walking up to the woman. “Were you not amazed, Ma’am?”
“Isss cam’ra tricksss,” she slurred, obviously further into her night of drinking than most of the others.
“… Camera tricks, ma’am?” Glitz said. “This is a live show. There are no cameras. We’re all right here.”
“Well I don’ b’lieve ‘n magic. So ‘f you c’n do it, anyone c’n do it.”
“Hmm…” Glitz said, glancing at Gary. He nodded. “Maybe so, ma’am. Is this woman your friend?”
“Oh, come on,” giggled the woman beside the drunken skeptic with a blush. “I don’t want to be part of the show. I’m embarrassed.”
“Don’ be silly,” the drunk said.
She grabbed her friend’s face and forcibly motor-boated herself with the blushing girl. After a few moments of nothing but the blush threatening to overtake her entire body, the shy girl’s head suddenly slipped between the drunk’s breasts. This girl’s disappearance wasn’t quite as swift as the man’s, granting the audience a good clear look of her body squishing inward to slide between the breasts of her drunk friend. Her narrowing body slid easily out of her own clothes and into the low cut dress of the drunk, until her dress and panties fell to the floor and a pair of shapely bare legs vanished with a silky swish into the bosom of her friend.
“Huh…” said the drunk. “I di’nt know I could do that…”
“I guess you’ve got a new talent then!” Glitz said. “Why not come with me to the front of the room to take a bow?”
Glitz guided the woman to her feet. She unsteadily took a two steps forward before Glitz slyly stuck her foot out, tripping her. The drunk stumbled forward into what appeared to be a bachelorette party. The guest of honor swiftly sunk waist deep into the unbalanced woman’s chest and began to slurp inward. Three of her friends squealed with delight, but the one nearest to the vanishing bachelorette changed her tune when her flailing hands caught her wrist and she was drawn in as well. Some of the girls laughed and pushed each other toward the ravenous cleavage, others clutched at each other to avoid going inside, but when all was said and done they more or less managed to tangle each other up enough than every last one of them squished one by one into the drunk’s chest.
She wobbled to her feet in time to watch the head of her final victim pass face to face with her before nervously popping inside.
“… That kinda tickles…” The drunk said.
“Okay, okay,” Glitz said, “Obviously you’re a danger to yourself and others, Ma’am. We’ll just have to put you someplace you won’t do any more damage. Have a seat.”
The drunk sat in a chair between Glitz and Glamour.
“Now where should we put her, Glamour?” Glitz asked.
“Hmm…” Glamour said, pacing forward. “I just don’t know…” She turned to face the crowd, standing in front of the drunk. “I’ll have to sit down and think about this.”
She reached back and surreptitiously stretched one leg of her leotard aside, revealing her butt crack to the drunk and took a seat.
Her buns landed square on the woman’s face, and with a wet slither, Glamour eased her butt down onto the drunk’s shoulders, swallowing the woman’s head.
“Gosh, what an uncomfortable chair. I can’t seem to get comfy…”
She swiveled her hips and first one, then the other shoulder slipped inside. Moist sounds and tipsy giggles filled the room as she wriggled her butt and swallowed up more and more of the drunk. The pulsing, clutching warmth of the bowels must have been rather pleasant, because just before her cheeks touched the seat, the audience was treated to a pretty graphic view of the drunk working her hand around to stroke as best she could at herself through her dress. The lewd act disappeared with a squelch as Glamour clenched her cheeks and the woman up to her thighs.
Glamour stood, letting the feet dangle down, then propped them on the chair and plopped heavily down, forcing her entirely inside.
“I guess, when in doubt, the back door is always an option,” Glitz said.
The audience, or at least those not too awed to do so, groaned at the pun.
“Okay, okay, so who’s been keeping count of the people we’ve vanished so far?” Glamour said. “Anyone? There was the unlucky egg hunter, that’s one. The unwilling volunteer, that’s two, the drunk, that’s three. Seven women from table number three. That’s ten. Did I miss anyone?”
“My boyfriend!” said the cougar at the bar.
Glamour walked over to her and held her hand up to her bunny ear.
“What’s that, ma’am?”
“I said my boyfriend.”
Glamour leaned closer.
“One more time?”
“MY BOYFR-MMMMPH!”
Glamour leaned aside, her long fluffy ear slapping the woman in the face. Gently tugging the tip of her own ear to pull it taut, Glamour continued to lean down, the cougar rather swiftly sliding into the fuzzy warmth of the ear. When she’d been wedged inside up to her hips, Glamour stood and started to slap the other side of her head like a waterlogged swimmer. Each slap caused the woman to slip a few inches deeper, until she vanished into the velvety fluff entirely.
“Ah, yes, I hear you now ma’am. You and your boyfriend. Well, that makes an even dozen, doesn’t it?”
“It sure does!” Glitz said. “I think it’s about time to use the magic cloth, eh Glamour?”
“Yep! Hand it over, Glitz.”
She furrowed her brow. “I don’t have it, Glamour.”
“… Well I don’t have it, Glitz. Gary? Did you bring the magic cloth?”
“Hey, this is your show, not mine!” Gary said, pouring another suspiciously flesh tone martini for a young woman at the bar and garnishing it with a familiar red flower.
“… Where’d the bartender go, Gary?”
“This woman here ordered the special of the house, and the bartender seemed pretty special to me!” he said.
“Well quit messing around and get us a magic cloth.”
He sighed in irritation and marched out from behind the bar. A waiter was just setting a tray of appetizers on a table, a napkin folded over his arm. Gary took the wrist of that arm and held it up.
“May I, sir?” he asked.
“I guess,” said the waiter.
Gary gave his wrist a hard shake and the man crumpled to the floor… literally. His body became limp and floppy, and he fell to the floor having lost an entire dimension. Gary picked up the flattened man and held him over to the girls.
“Your magic cloth, ladies,” he said.
“Excellent,” Glamour said, glancing at the flattened waiter. “Thank you for volunteering.”
She positioned the Easter basket on the now vacant bachelorette table and draped the faintly wriggling man over it.
“Alacazam!” She said.
She yanked it off the basket to reveal it filled once more, all twelve of the plastic eggs back in place. Not only that, but each egg held one of the men and women who had ‘volunteered’ for Glitz and Glamour. Some were nude, others weren’t, but all seemed confused and unable to escape their new plastic homes.
“Tada!” she said. “A perfect Easter basket!”
Glitz looked at the basket disapprovingly. “No, Glamour, I think there’s something missing.”
“What?”
Glitz took the “Magic Cloth” from Glamour and draped it over her sister’s head, then began to murmur.
“Hocus Pocus, Presto-change-o…. magic words magic words magic words…”
Aside from causing Gary’s eyes to roll, the changing seemed to cause Glamour to diminish, more and more of the “cloth” able to conceal her until all that was left was a one-foot-tall lump beneath it. She pulled him free to reveal her sister, now a mere twelve inches tall. Not only that, her skin had taken on a lustrous brown, glossy texture, she glanced up as Glitz leaned down to pick her up.
“Oh, of course. A chocolate bunny!” Glamour said. “I should have known!”
Glitz gazed longingly at the animated bit of candy standing in her hand.
“Don’t even think about it sis,” Glamour said.
The piano player, sizing the opportunity, started to play “Candy Man.” Glitz held Glamour up and gave her a kiss, then slipped a tongue around one of her arms and slurped it into her mouth.
~~~
Glamour watched as her sweet limb disappeared between the plump red lips of her comparatively enormous sister. This being the setup to the big finale, they’d discussed it for an awful long time, but she still hadn’t been prepared for how good it felt. The warm lips tugged her in up to her shoulder, and then the texture of her hot tongue started to grind against her little arm trapped within the furnace of her mouth. It was so hot and tight, and with each suckling slurp she could feel the heat penetrate deeper into her arm and the sensations spread further.
Streaks of brown started to smear her perfect red lips, and they closed entirely and Glitz lowered Glamour a bit. Where her arm had been, now there was just a shiny bit of half-melted chocolate on her shoulder. Yet Glamour could still feel the oozing, melting sensation of her limb as her sister let it drizzle slowly down her throat.
Without speaking, she started in on the other arm, and more hungrily sucked it into her mouth and savored it until it melted away.
“You know, Glamour, Sweetie. Some people like to start by eating the chocolate bunny’s head, but I think I’ll save that for last…”
Glitz held Glamour up and lowered her legs into her mouth, sensuously closing her now sticky and chocolaty lips around them. She slurped and suckled lewdly, melting and massaging Glamour into a rich, decadent mouthful inch by wonderful inch. As her legs seemed to spread and mix with the silken paradise of her sister’s mouth, Glamour felt her sex slide between the lips and suddenly she couldn’t help but moan in delight, the sensitive petals of her flower dragging sinfully across her twin’s tongue. It was pure electric, the sensation pushing her to wordless ecstasy as she writhed and squirmed at the glossy lips consuming her. As her sex melted and combined with the rest of her, suddenly she felt as though every bump and crevice of the massive mouth was pressing and sucking and lapping at her sex at once. Then her breasts slipped inside and melted into the mass of trembling pleasure. Glitz placed a finger on Glamour’s head and started to push her slowly between her lips. The candy sibling managed a final, meager gasp of pleasure before she was entirely devoured.
With a swallow, Glitz finished her sister and licked the last of her from her lips.
~~~
“Delicious…” she said, her eyes half-lidded in lust.
“Ahem.” Gary said.
“Mmm? Oh! Right! Silly me. Here we are with an Easter basket, and no Easter bunny! Toss me your hat, would you?”
Gary threw her the top hat. She snatched it out of the air.
“Sorry for this, everyone, but it’s sort of our signature trick. And now, poof!”
She reached into the hat and pulled free a pair of ears. With a few awkward tugs, she revealed her sister’s head, but she couldn’t pull any more of her out.
“Come on, Glamour, don’t botch this now,” Glitz muttered under her breath.
For the first time, she looked at her sister’s head as it stuck out of the hat. It was glistening with sweat, and her eyes were just as full of lust as Glitz’ had been a moment ago. A half second before it happened, Glitz realized what Glamour was going to do. Unfortunately, a half second wasn’t enough to avoid it.
Glamour slipped her arms up past her face and grabbed hold of Glitz’s cheeks. She pulled her twin into a kiss, then ducked back inside the hat without breaking it.
A short, silly struggle followed as Glitz tried and failed to avoid being pulled inside the hat. She lost her balance as the hat hit the ground and slid gracelessly through the brim, vanishing inside in moments. Gary paced up and placed the hat on the table, where it bopped and bounced, giggles and moans coming from within.
“Well… let’s hear it for Glitz and Glamour everyone!”
~~~
“At that point the whole remaining audience started applauding and buying you drinks, and you got super drunk. You decided my whole ‘Candy Man’ bit was worth ‘a great big tip’ and shrunk me down to stuff me in my own tip jar, then you got completely wasted and did loads of other tricks to the bar patrons until you were more or less alone, at which point you passed out and your agent came and took the basket and hat,” the piano player explained.
“Ah… Okay. Thanks. I’ll have to track down my agent, then. There’s a lot of restauration to do, and I’d rather get them all together at once so I can do it at once.”
“Well you can start with me.”
“Oh, sure.”
He rubbed his hands together and murmured some magic words. Nothing happened.
“I was afraid of that…” he said.
“What?”
“I overdid it last night. Sort of blew my magical wad. Need to recover a bit. Guess I’ll head to my room and rest up…” he said, turning for the door.
“Hey! What about me!?” she shouted.
“Oh, right.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a $100 bill.
“Here you go,” he said, stuffing it in the glass with her. “Good job last night. See you later.”