“What is that?” I asked.

“That's Leslie,” Tom said. “Say Hello to Bill, Leslie.”

On the coffee table was a round flower pot with a short, sort-of bonzai plant. The trunk was about ten inches tall in the shape of a woman. It had two limbs that ended in mitten-like hands and a head with tiny green leaves for hair resembling a pixie cut. It even had a face making a smirk. I was totally shocked when one of the limbs raised and waved, the face's expression became a full smile.

“It moved.”

“Of course she moved. She's alive.”

“Plants don't usually react like that.”

“Well, Leslie is a special plant.” Leslie nodded when he said this.

“Where did you get it?” Leslie folded her hands and pouted when I asked so I added, “I mean.. um.. her?” At which, she resumed smiling.

“There's a little dress shop near the Venn machine at the mall. They do custom venning. I hired Leslie to be my houseplant.”

“Leslie is a person?”

“Yes.”

“Isn't that a little weird?”

“Is it, Leslie?”

She was rather sure it wasn't weird.

I had venned. Everyone had at some point. But I never really did these non-human venns. To each their own. “How long did you... do I say 'rent her for'? That has bad connotations. A few days? A month?”

“Two years,” Tom said. He laughed at the face I made. “I got a good rate.”

“You wanted to be a tree for two years?” Wait. Was I talking to the tree?
Leslie nodded.

“When she could speak, she told me she likes long term venns. She was once a store mannequin for a year.”

She moves her limbs to emphasize having elbows and somehow tilted her hip to one side then stared off in another direction. It was a very good imitation of a mannequin from a tree.

“The game's starting, want a beer?” Tom said getting up.

“Sure.”

Leslie was still holding her pose. Not that I was sure what I should say to her. I picked up the TV remote and raised the volume. The pre-game show was detailing the starting line up.

When Tom returned we started discussing the team's chances to make it to the World Series and Leslie was mostly forgotten. The game ended after eight o'clock and I noticed Leslie was drooping a little. “What's up with her?”

“Oh, she's extremely diurnal. When the sun goes down, she goes to sleep. She won't perk up again until morning unless you put a sun lamp on her.”

* * *

About a month later, Tom had a backyard barbecue party and I noticed two women standing near the house by a window. Leslie's pot was sitting on the ledge.

“Look at how tiny her leaves are,” the shorter woman said. She had a full figure and long, blond hair in a pony tail and was wearing a yellow sundress.

“Did you smell her?” the other woman said. She had darker hair and might be described as lanky. She was wearing a cut-off tee and jean shorts.

As she said this, Leslie leaned toward the blond woman. The woman leaned into the plant and sniffed. “Oo, kind of pine meets lavender. Very nice.” Leslie covered her mouth with one limb and waved the other as if to say, p'shaw. I swear if bark could blush, Leslie was blushing.

“I see you've met Leslie,” I said.

“Is that your name?”

Leslie nodded, then waved at me.

“Hello, Leslie.”

“I had heard Tom had a special houseplant but I had no idea how special. By the way, I'm Ann. I work with Tom at the office,” the brunette said shaking my hand.

“I'm Sally, also from the office.”

“I'm Bill. I've known Tom since grade school.”

“Oo, I bet you have some stories.” Even Leslie put a hand up to her ear and with her other limb encouraged me to talk.

I ended telling them a few mildly embarrassing stories about Tom before he joined us.

“Believe none of anything he says,” Tom said.

* * *

It was winter the next time I was at Tom's place. I arrived with Sally as we had been dating since the barbecue, about six months ago. Tom was seeing a woman named Paula. She was Brazilian: tall and shapely, with long curly black hair. She had the greenest eyes. You could see them clearly from across a room.

“That's a lovely dress, Sally,” Paula said.

Sally was wearing a sky blue, sleeveless halter style dress, knee-length, with a side slit to the hip on one side. Her face was framed by a heavy faux-pearl choker with matching dangling earrings. “Do you think the pearls are too much?”

“Pearls are never too much.”

During dinner, Bill pointed at Leslie, “Is she already asleep? It's still light out.”

“Actually, she went to sleep a few weeks ago and hasn't woken up. Her leaves are falling out. She must not be a perennial,” Paula said.

“Could you do that?” Sally asked. “Be a tree for years?”

“No,” Paula said. “I prefer being a cat when I venn.”

“A house cat?”

“No, like a mountain lion. Rrrwwwrr.” She clawed the air as she roared.

“We tried that once. Even without claws, I had bruises for days afterward,” Tom said.

“I didn't know my own strength,” Paula said kissing Tom on the nose. “That better?” They laughed. “How do you venn, Bill?”

Bill looked at Sally and with a sigh she nodded. He said, “We're venned right now. I'm actually Sally.”

Tom looked at me, “You're wearing nylons?”

“You were staring at my legs?” I said.

He laughed, “They're very nice legs. I never thought you would venn like that.”

My body said, “You should hear her in bed.”

I blushed. The others laughed.

* * *

In May, Tom called me and after the usual chitchat told me he got a promotion.

“That's great. Better pay?”

“Much better. Only problem is it's in Tokyo.”

“Ouch. You still seeing Paula?”

“Yeah, but she was thrilled about Tokyo. She's already lined up a job and we'll be living together there.”

“Wow, that's amazing.”

“I need you to do something for me.”

“Anything, Bro.”

“I need you to take in Leslie.”

“Oh,” I said. “Yeah, even if you could take her to Tokyo, assuming customs would let you, when her venn ended she would be in Tokyo.”

“Yeah. I tried to convince her I should just take her back to a venn machine and end her venn early. But when I said that she got angry. After a lot of limb waving and charades, she said she wanted to stay with you.”

“Me specifically.”

“Yes. C'mon, you like her. And she's pretty low maintenance.”

“Oh, yeah, I'll take her. I just was surprised.”

“Great, I'll drop her by your place tomorrow. My apartment is going to be a mess and I don't want her getting forgotten in the moving hubbub.”

“Sure, I'll see you tomorrow.”

* * *

Tom arrived around seven. He was holding Leslie's pot in his arm. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” I said as I took the pot from him. He handed me a bag of potting soil as well.

“I scoop out some soil and put in fresh soil once a month.” He leaned into Leslie. “Goodbye, Love.” He inhaled and then brushed his lips on her leaves. He immediately turned and walked away.

“Talk to you later,” I called after him. “C'mon, Leslie,” I said cheerfully to her. “We need to find you a good spot. My windows unfortunately are northwest facing but I still get a lot of natural light here anyway.”

I set her down on a table next to my balcony's sliding doors. I usually kept the drapes half closed but I had them wide open tonight. She was quiet the rest of the night.

In the morning, she waved as I entered the living room. “Morning, Leslie. Your soil seems a bit dry, do you need water?”

She nodded. I went to the kitchen and filled a glass with tap water.

“I'm not sure how much. Should I pour into the pot or onto you?”

She stood up straight and tipped her head backward, eyes closed. Her arms were in a v-shape pointing downward like there was a stiff breeze fall on her. Taking her cue, I slowly poured the water onto her face. She smiled as it ran down her body into the dirt. After about half a glass I stopped and she leveled her head to look at me, giving me a single nod.

The first few days, I think I annoyed her, constantly telling her what was going on in my life or in the news. At first she seemed interested. But she started ignoring me, going stiff and unresponsive. So eventually I stopped treating her like a roommate. Days would pass without giving her a second thought.

Sally moved in a few months later and I was spending more and more time as a woman. It wasn't something I deeply desired. I just could never say 'no' when Sally asked. I worked from home, so no one really noticed when I spent a month or two at a time as Bella.

Time passed and one day I heard a shout of surprise and a thump. I raced out of my home office into the living room to find a women I'd never seen before lying on the floor by the balcony.

“Oh, hi, Bella, it's me, Leslie,” she said. Beneath her the table Leslie was normally on was broken.

“Oh, hi. Nice to finally actually meet you.”

“We've met. I know a lot about you. Can I ask you something?”

“You've shared my home for over a year. I don't see why not.”

“I know you don't relish being a woman. But look at you. You're alone at home and you have makeup on. You hair is done nicely. You're wearing a cute skirt and matching blouse. Why do you do more than most women do when there's no one around?”

“It's not really anything I've set my mind to specifically,” I said. “I just don't like doing anything halfway. So if Sally likes coming home to a woman, I'm going to be the best woman to come home to.”

“That makes sense,” she said. “Well, can I ask you for a ride to the mall? All my stuff is there.”

“Sure. My turn to be nosy?”

“Okay.”

“Did you enjoy the last two years?”

* * *

“Bella, I'm home,” Sal called out. He set down his briefcase and loosened his tie.

I met him at the door with a kiss. I loved the feel of his hard chest compressing my breasts.

“Dinner will be ready soon. Have a seat in the living room.”

Sal squeezed my ass as he went by. I enjoyed that too. He removed his shoes and sat down in the living room. I returned with two beers and handed one to him before sitting beside him.

“Anything interesting happen today,” he asked.

I pointed at Leslie. “I was wondering how long she's spent in that clay pot Tom had her in. So I got her a new pot.”

Leslie waved at Sal and I think she winked at me.