Complaints about the The Youth Gun got me thinking about finding a way for kids to play as grown ups safely. Then, the idea hit me, why not have kids actually be their own toys? That lead me to create The Magic Toy-Swap Necklaces.

Hey kids, getting tired of playing with your toys? Ever wondered what life is really like inside that dollhouse? Well, why not play as your toys instead? With The Magic Toy-Swap Necklaces you can be your own toys. Simply, put the small necklace on the neck of the toy, lay down, and put big necklace on yourself, and magically you become the toy! The Magic Toy-Swap Necklaces work on any toy that fits the necklace. When you are ready to go back to being a kid, simply remove the necklaces. You can use The Magic Toy-Swap Necklaces again and again. Play as all of your toys. The fun never ends! Get The Magic Toy-Swap Necklaces today, available this Christmas under a tree near you. (Warning: Do not use The Magic Toy-Swap Necklaces without a partner or adult supervision. If necklaces are damaged or if either body is damaged while using the necklaces, the necklaces may no longer function.)

Every kid dreams about this at some point. You’re sitting there playing with your toys, and you imagine what it might be like to actually be your toys. It’s really not that hard a spell to perform. I had my prototypes ready quickly, before I had really considered the implications of what I was making. I did try to make them safe. For instance, the necklace I designed for the toys is much too small to put on a human neck. I wanted to make sure that people were not using them as a way of body swapping. That could be very problematic. Also, the only way to reverse the swapping spell is to remove both necklaces. The idea behind that rule is that I wanted to make sure kids would always have supervision around when they were playing as small toys. I’ll be honest, I understand why this toy was rejected. Let me give you some examples to show why.

First, every kid seemed to ignore the instructions about laying down on the ground and the warning about not playing alone with the necklaces. I watched them with the Chrono-Viewer again and again. Take little Suzy, for example.

***

Suzy opened her necklaces, read the directions (ignoring the warnings), and immediately ran up to her bedroom to find her favorite unicorn pony toy. She put the small necklace on the unicorn. Then, ignoring the warning, she put the big necklace on herself. Immediately, she found herself standing on all fours on the floor of her bedroom. In front of her was a giant plastic foot. She looked up at a giant girl mannequin standing above her wearing her clothes. It was her own body, turned to plastic. She looked down at herself. She had hooves. She was covered in light purple fur. She took a deep breath, felt her flesh and blood chest expand, and let out an excited whinny.

“Awesome!” she cried and was pleased to hear that she sounded like the cartoon version of the pony. “Wow, this is so cool.” She started clomping around her floor, taking note of how large all of her other toys looked now. She even tapped the foot of her old body, it sounded like hollow plastic.

Then, she thought she might try out a magic spell using her unicorn magic. She focused on lifting up a wooden block, but it did not move. Then, she tried moving something lighter, a feather. That did not move either. Soon it became clear that just being in the shape of a magical unicorn did not mean that she had magical powers.

Still, she tried to enjoy herself for a while, until she started to get hungry. She decided she might like to go back to normal, and tried to take off the necklace. In the cartoon, the unicorn would have just magically lifted off the necklace, but Suzy could only use her hooves. For the first time she realized that having hooves was a serious handicap in some ways. She had no fingers. She had very little flexibility when it came to reaching her own neck with her legs. Even her hind legs had a hard time touching her neck. She started to feel frustrated and a little worried that she would not be able to get the necklace off. Eventually, she realized she could lean her head down and let the necklace slip off over her head. It did get stuck on her horn briefly, but she managed to get it loose. At last, she had taken the necklace off.

But, she was still a little unicorn pony.

In a panic, she found the instructions that she had left on the floor. She stood on the paper to flatten them out and read the large words. Her eyes went wide when she saw that she had to remove both necklaces to reverse the spell. She looked up at the giant mannequin version of her real body that loomed over her like the Statue of Liberty. There was no way she could reach the other necklace.

“Oh no!” She said. She galloped out into the hallway, crying, “Mommy, Daddy, Sara!” The house seemed so enormous now, and outside of her bedroom full of toys, she felt so small and vulnerable. The floor shook again and again. Footsteps were approaching her from behind. She turned around to see her big sister, Sara, approaching. Only, Sara seemed to be a giant. Suzy backed away and almost fell down the mountainous stairs behind her.  “Sara!” Suzy cried. “Help me! I’m down here!”

Sarah stopped when she saw the purple pony below her. “What is that?” she said as she crouched down to get a better look. The toy appeared to be moving.

“Sara! It’s me. It’s Suzy,” the pony said.

“Suzy?”

“Yes,” the pony said. “I got magic necklaces from Santa that turned me into a toy. You need to help me.”

“W-what do I do?”

“Take the necklace off of my body in my bedroom.”

Sara found the life-sized toy version of Suzy standing in her bedroom and took the necklace off of it, and, immediately, the plastic turned back into flesh. Suzy touched her human body again all over to feel that she was back to normal. She flexed her fingers and smiled. It felt so good to have hands again.

“That’s… amazing,” Sara said. “I mean, that’s actually magic.”

“It is,” Suzy said.

“How does it even work?”

“Watch this,” Suzy said. She took both necklaces with her into the hallway, and Sara followed her out. Suzy put the small necklace back on the toy. “I put one on the toy I want to turn into,” she explained. “And, I put the other one on me.” She hesitated a moment before putting the necklace back on, but then she decided she would be safe with Sara around to help.

She slipped on the big necklace and found herself back in the pony body again.

“Whoa!” Sara said from above Suzy as she looked down at her. Once more Sara appeared to be a giant. “That’s so cool,” she said. She looked back at the plastic Suzy body and gave it an experimental poke in the cheek, which caused it to slowly tip backwards. Unfortunately, Suzy had been standing in front of the stairs when she had swapped this time. Before Sara could stop it, Suzy’s plastic body tumbled down the staircase and came to rest at the bottom of the steps with a dreadful crack. Sara ran down the steps after it, but Suzy could only wait at the top of the staircase because the steps were too large for her.

Sara gasped when she reached the plastic Suzy. “Oh no!” she said as she slowly lifted up plastic Suzy’s decapitated head. The fall had snapped it off at the neck. Seeing that, Suzy’s stomach fell. “I’m sorry!” Sara said. “I’ll fix it. I can fix it!”

Sara ran off to find glue, but Suzy just sat at the top of the steps. She remembered reading the warning about damage causing the necklaces to stop working. She started to wonder what life would be like now that she was stuck as a little unicorn pony.

***

See what I mean? I very explicitly warned them not to use the toy alone. I instructed them to lay down before putting on the necklace. I even warned them about damaging their bodies. Still, this silly little girl had to stand in front of a staircase before turning her body into plastic. What is the matter with kids? I’m sure I was never that dumb.

There were plenty of dumb ideas to go around, though. For instance, some kids had the bright idea of putting the small necklace on small household pets to see if that would work. It did, which meant that some of them found themselves trapped as gerbils and turtles until a family member eventually removed the big necklace from their original bodies after noticing how strangely they were behaving.

Then, there were the kids who figured out how to use the necklaces maliciously. Take Stephanie and Patrick for an example.

***

Stephanie was 6 and Patrick was 7. Stephanie got the necklace as a gift from Santa. Patrick got nothing from Santa because he was too naughty to deserve a present. The records showed that he had a tendency to take his sister’s things without asking and occasionally break them.

They were a perfect target for this toy.

Stephanie was one kid who followed the directions, though. She got Patrick to watch her as she used the necklaces.

“Watch this,” Stephanie told her brother.

“This had better be cool,” Patrick said. He had his own action figures that he would rather be playing with.

“It will be,” she said.

She put the small necklace on her favorite Barbara doll and laid it down gently on the ground. She laid herself down next to it and put on the other necklace.

When she sat up again, she felt simultaneously tall and small. Her body felt so much taller and a pair of enormous breasts were jutting out from her chest. She was an adult! She touched one of her breasts through the thick toy clothing fabric. It was soft and fleshy and felt surprisingly good. She looked next to herself to see a giant plastic version of her old body laying there. Standing beyond that was her dumbfounded giant brother. Patrick just gaped at the living doll in front of him as Stephanie stood up and smiled back at him.

“Pretty cool, huh?” she said in her more mature voice as she struck what she imagined was a sexy pose.

“That’s amazing!” Patrick said. He poked the plastic of her original body, then he reached for his little sister in her doll body.

“Hey, wait a minute,” Stephanie said, as Patrick roughly grabbed her around the waist with his giant hand and picked her up. She shrieked. “Put me down!”

“You have real skin now,” he said.

“Stop it!” she screamed as he turned her upside down to look up her dress.

“Woah,” he said. “Is that what girls look like down there?”

Stephanie slammed her knees together and crossed her ankles. “Put me down, now!”

Patrick walked her over to her Barbara dollhouse and set her down on the top floor. “There,” he said. “I was just helping you get to your dollhouse.”

Stephanie stood up again and looked at him angrily. “You only get to touch me when I say you can,” she said. “Got it?”

He held up his hands defensively. “Hey, I was just trying to help.”

“You can help me by doing what I say,” she said. “If you play nice, I might let you use the necklaces on your own toys later.”

“Really?” he said. Although he did not say anything, he had just gotten a few ideas for fun things he might do with the necklaces.

“Sure,” Stephanie said and smiled her perfect smile. “Now,” she said. “I need you to grab some of the Barbara outfits I have over there.”

What followed was a good half hour of trying on clothes before a hand mirror that was now the size of a full body mirror. Stephanie would hide behind a screen as she changed. She was amazed at how real her naked adult body looked and felt, but she did not want to be nude for too long for fear of Patrick peeking at her again. Still, she deeply enjoyed putting on her doll’s clothes and looking at her doll reflection standing back in the mirror as she posed for herself.

Eventually, Patrick said, “I’m bored. Can’t we actually play something?”

Stephanie was wearing a pair of pants and a fashionable T-shirt at this point. “Fine,” she said. “What do you want to play?”

Patrick grabbed her pink plastic Barbara convertible. “Want to go for a drive?”

She smiled. She had always imagined what it would be like to drive around as Barbara in that car. “Yes!”

He reached for her again. “Gently,” she warned him. He gripped her more gently and carried her over to the driver’s seat of the car. In spite of how much padding her big butt gave her, she settled in uncomfortably on the hard plastic seat. Then, she grew worried as she noticed that there was no seat belt and the steering wheel was just a black piece of plastic that spun freely, disconnected from the tires. Patrick would be the one doing the driving, she realized. “Hey, maybe we shouldn’t…” she started to say, but Patrick cut her off.

“Three, two, one, go!” he said, and pushed the car forward at high speed making engine noises with his mouth. Stephanie screamed as Patrick held onto her rear bumper and raced the car around the room, making his own screeching sounds as it rounded sharp turns. All Stephanie could do was hold onto the wheel for dear life. At one point, Patrick even pretended to jump her over her old plastic body in slow motion.

“Stop!” she screamed as he held the car in mid-air. “Put me down!”

Patrick set the car down. “What?” he said. “That was fun, wasn’t it?”

“I almost died!” she said as she shakily climbed out of the car. “You can’t play that rough with me.”

“Fine,” he said. “Sorry.”

“I think I want to take a break,” she said as she removed her necklace. “Take the necklace off of my old body.”

Patrick walked over to her old body as she lay down on the ground. He dutifully removed the necklace and Stephanie found herself looking up at him. He was back to his normal size compared to her, she was back to her normal age, and her room appeared its normal size as well. She sat up and looked down at the doll she had just been. It grinned back up at her, looking plastic once more.

“That was awesome!” Patrick declared. “It’s my turn now,” he said and reached for the small necklace.

Stephanie pulled it away from him and stood up. “No,” she said. “I want to take a break for a bit.”

“But…”

“No,” she said and set the necklaces down on her dresser.

“Fine,” he said. “I don’t need your dumb toy. I’ll play with my own toys.” Patrick slunk off to his room in a jealous tiff. Meanwhile, Stephanie went downstairs to watch TV and eat some candy.

Around lunchtime, her mother asked where Patrick was.

“He’s probably in his room,” Stephanie said. “I’ll get him.”

She ran upstairs and heard a strange sound coming from Patrick’s room, like something small growling and roaring, followed by a scratching sound on the door. Whatever it was, it did not sound human.

Stephanie went to her room, and, as she was expecting, she noticed that the necklaces were missing.

She carefully opened Patrick’s bedroom door, and was surprised to find a miniature dinosaur standing in front of her. It looked to be a T-rex, only it was just a little more than a foot tall. It growled up at her hopefully. She looked around the room. There were dinosaur toys all over the floor, most of them on their sides. Then, she saw a life-sized plastic Patrick doll leaning against his bed at an angle as if it had fallen into that position from having been standing before. Naturally, both the Patrick doll and the T-rex were wearing the necklaces.

“You just couldn’t wait,” Stephanie said to the little T-rex. It walked up to her and looked up at her expectantly. She smirked. At that size, it looked more like a featherless chicken than a deadly predator. “Well,” she said. “What do you want me to do?”

The T-rex waved a little arm towards its neck. The necklace was far out of its tiny reach. Stephanie burst out laughing. “That’s too funny! You’re arms are too little to take it off. How did you not think about that before you put it on?”

The mini-dinosaur hung its head in shame.

“Well,” Stephanie said as she crossed her arms. “I don’t see why I should help you now. I mean, you took the necklaces without my permission.”

It roared up at her mournfully.

“I suppose I could help you if you promise to never use the necklaces without me ever again,” she said. “Do you promise?”

The T-rex nodded its big head up and down slowly.

“Fine,” Stephanie said. She knelt down before the dino and said “Ew!” as she touched its scaly skin. She removed the small necklace and then went to the Patrick doll on the bed and took off his necklace. Immediately, he collapsed onto his bed as a flesh-and-blood boy again.

He looked at his hands and touched his human neck again. “Oh, thank you!” he said. “I’m sorry.”

“Just remember what you promised,” she said. “Don’t use the necklaces without me.”

“Of course,” he said. “I promise.”

The rest of the day passed pretty normally from that point on. Stephanie put the necklaces back on her dresser in her room, and they spent the rest of Christmas with their family.

The next day, Stephanie was watching TV with her brother, while their parents were busy with other things.

Patrick gave her a few curious looks and then left the room for a few minutes. When he returned, he sat on the couch next to her. “Surprise!” he said as he lunged towards her and slipped something over her head.

Suddenly, she was standing somewhere else, a giant room, and her body felt really weird. She looked down at herself to see that she was shirtless and her skin was a pale shade of green. Her body seemed enormous and misshapen, and she was holding some kind of plastic club in one hand and a shield in the other. “What in the world?” she said in a deep, gruff, gravelly voice. “Patrick!” she roared as she realized that she had become a toy in his bedroom.

A few stomping footsteps later, and Patrick swung open his giant bedroom door. He burst out laughing when he looked down at her. “Look at you,” he said between laughing fits. He ran off for a moment and returned with her hand mirror. He held it in front of her, and she got a good view of the monster he had turned her into. The monster had green skin and red hair tied up in a warrior’s topknot. Two lower fangs protruded from the monster’s thick jaw outside of its mouth. The monster’s heavy body was naked except for a loin cloth. It was impossibly muscular while possessing a disgusting fat gut. Each of its hands had two fingers and a thumb.  It looked inhuman, and it looked mean. Then, there were the things hanging between the male monster’s legs that she was glad she could not see.

“How does it feel to be a troll?” Patrick asked.

Stephanie growled in fury. “You promised!” she roared up at her giant brother. “You said you wouldn’t use the necklaces again without my permission. You promised, you jerk!”

“Nope!” he said and smirked. “I promised that I would not use the necklaces without you. Well, you’re here, so I didn’t break my promise.”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” she said and pointed her club at him angrily. At the very least, the body she was in felt very powerful. She guessed she might be able to give him a good stubbed toe if she swung her club at his foot. “Turn me back right now.”

“I’ll turn you back,” he said. “But, first, you have to play with me.”

She growled, realizing that he was enjoying her frustration too much to listen to her now. “Fine,” she said. “Let’s get this over with.”

For the next half-hour she bashed through an endless series of toys that Patrick put in front of her. He had her climb a rope-like string up to his dresser to fight more toys. Then, she had to leap down onto a pillow. Surprisingly, she found that she was actually having some fun leaping around as the troll man, but she was getting tired of feeling like a monster.

Eventually, she started to run out of steam for fighting. “Enough,” she said as she fell to one knee, panting in exhaustion. “I’m done!”

“Aw,” Patrick moaned. “But, we’re having so much fun.”

“You’re the one having fun. I’m just getting tired.” she said. “Turn me back.” She pulled the necklace off of her monster neck.

“All right,” Patrick said. “I’ll do that after you make a promise to me.”

“What?”

“You have to promise to clean my room tomorrow.”

She growled as she looked at the messy state his room was in. “Fine,” she said. “I promise to clean your room.” She sat down and rested her sore troll muscles.

Patrick ran off downstairs, and, a minute later, Stephanie was sitting on the couch again in her little girl body once more. She felt surprisingly small a weak. Patrick was sitting next to her holding the necklace. She took it out of his hands and ran upstairs to pick up the other necklace. Then, she went to her bedroom and shut her door behind her as she hid the necklaces in the back of her sock drawer.

When Stephanie opened the door up again, she found Patrick standing in the hallway.

“You jerk.” she said. “Never do that to me again without my permission.”

“You had fun,” he said. “Admit it.”

“That’s not the point. You need to ask first, and I get to say ‘No’ if I don’t want to do it.”

He threw up his hands. “Fine,” he said. “I won’t do it to you again without your permission. Jeeze.”

“Good,” Stephanie said, but, as Patrick walked away, she thought she saw him smirking to himself. She knew that he was going to take the necklaces again. She needed to teach him a lesson, she realized. Then, an idea came to her, and she went about setting up a trap for Patrick if he decided to break his first promise.

Later that night, after bedtime, Stephanie and Patrick were lying in bed in their rooms. Patrick could not sleep. He desperately wanted to use the necklaces again. Quietly as he could, he crept out of his bedroom to his sister’s room. Slowly, very very slowly, he opened her door, and peeked into her room. She was on her bed breathing heavily, apparently sound asleep. He tiptoed into her room and looked around for the necklaces. There they were on her dresser where she had put them before. He grabbed the necklaces and swiftly went back to his room, shutting his door behind him.

The plan was working perfectly. He had realized that he could play with the necklaces in the middle of the night and then put them put back in Stephanie’s room before he went to sleep. Stephanie would never know he had taken them. He took out his new barbarian action figure. It was the muscular hero character who fights the troll character his sister had been earlier that day. He set up some other toys to play with. Then, he put the necklace on the action figure. This time, he would need to be careful, he decided. He had learned his lesson from when he got stuck as a dinosaur.  He knelt on his floor, making sure to stick his head out in a way that would make it easy to take off the necklace even when he was the barbarian toy.

He put on the big necklace, and then he was in darkness, no light at all. Something went wrong, he realized. His room had not been well-lit, but he should have been able to see where he was if he had become the barbarian as planned. He seemed to be lying on top of something soft, and above him there was something solid, a ceiling? He pressed up on it, but it would not move. Then, he started to become aware of his body. He was naked except for the necklace he wore, and something felt off. He ran his hands over his body and gasped in shock. He had breasts. His peepee was gone. There was some kind of hole there between his legs instead. He was a woman!

“What happened?” he said. His voice sounded a bit more feminine but not much different from his normal boy voice. “Where am I?”

He tried to crawl around on the soft thing below him, feeling his way around in total darkness. He realized he must be on top of a giant blanket. He crawled to the edge of it and felt a solid wall there. Then, he followed the wall to a corner. He did this all the way around until he was sure he was inside of a room or a large box. He was trapped!

“Help!” he shouted. “Help me!”

He listened, but there was no reply. He started pounding on the wall yelling, “Hello!? Help me! Let me out!” He kept on pounding and shouting, until the ceiling suddenly swung open. A giant Stephanie was kneeling above him. When she saw him, she smiled.

“I can’t believe you fell for that,” Stephanie said.

“What?” he replied.

“Hold on a minute,” she said and lowered the ceiling back down again.

“Wait, no!” he shouted as once more he was trapped in darkness.

A long time passed as he waited for her to return, until once more she opened what he now recognized as the lid of the toy trunk in her room. “There,” she said. “That should make sure that you won’t be going back to normal for a while.”

“What did you do?” he asked.

“What did you do?” she replied and smiled.

“I-I may have borrowed your necklaces,” he admitted. He felt even more naked under her disapproving gaze.

“Didn’t you promise you would not use them without me?”

“I did,” he said. “Sorry.”

“Hmm,” she said, unconvinced of his sincerity.

“Why am I a girl?” he asked, and looked down at his breasts. “I put the small necklace on my barbarian toy.”

“This necklace?” she said as she held up an identical necklace to the one he was wearing. “I made this one earlier today. It’s a fake. You’re wearing the real one.”

“Y-you tricked me?” he said.

“Yep,” she said. “I wanted to make sure that you didn’t take the necklaces again without asking me first. So, I put the real big necklace on my dresser next to the fake small necklace. Then, I put the real small necklace on my Barbara doll.”

“I’m a Barbara doll?” he said and touched his long blonde hair.

“Yep,” she said.

Not only was he was a woman, he was the girliest toy ever. Patrick took off the real necklace and threw it at her. “You jerk!”

“Careful, Barbara,” Stephanie said. “You don’t want to damage it. You might not be able to go back to normal if you do.”

“Turn me back!” he demanded.

“No,” she replied plainly.

“You have to turn me back,” he said.

“I don’t have to do anything you say. You’re just a toy.”

“I don’t want to be a girl or a toy.”

“I didn’t want to be a troll, but did that stop you?”

“Fine,” he said. “You made your point. I shouldn’t have done that to you, and I shouldn’t have taken the necklaces again. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

“I don’t believe you.”

He groaned in frustration. “What do you want from me?”

“I want to play,” she said. “I want to play with you for a while actually.”

“How long?”

“I’m not sure yet,” she said. “But, you might want to put some clothes on.” She handed him a pink dress.

He held it up with a disgusted look on his face. “I’m not wearing this.”

“Fine,” she said. “You can walk around naked with your boobies hanging out if you want. You might get a bit cold, though.”

He grumbled and slipped on the dress. It was better than being naked, he reasoned. Stephanie helped him button it up on the back. Then, she held him in her giant hands and lifted him into the air. He looked down nervously at her feet below. He seemed to be 20 feet up in the air now. “P-put me down,” he said. “Please!”

“Oh, sorry,” she said and set him back down on the ground at her feet. “Better?”

Immediately, Patrick took off running. Before Stephanie knew what was happening, he was already out the door, into the hallway, and running straight for his room. He just hoped he could get the other necklace off of his real body before she caught him. He entered his room, but stopped just inside the door. “Where’s my body?” he asked. His original body was nowhere in sight.

“There you are,” Stephanie said as she caught up with him. “You looking for something?”

“What did you do with my body?”

“Oh, that thing?” she said. “I put it away somewhere safe. You know, you should put your toys away instead of leaving them sitting out on the floor. It’s a good thing you had me promise to clean your room.”

“Give me back my body!”

“No!” she said.

“I’ll tell Mom and Dad!”

“Will you tell them that you stole my necklaces? I don’t think they’ll be happy about that.”

“I’ll tell them.”

“If you do that then I might just have a little accident with your body. If I break it, you won’t be able to change back.”

A chill ran up his spine. “No, you wouldn’t dare.”

“Maybe I would,” she said and smiled. “Do really you want to find out?”

Patrick clenched his fists. He wanted to scream and punch something, but he realized that he was out of options. He was not going back to normal unless he played nice with Stephanie. She picked him up again.

“Let’s go play,” she said and carried him away.

They played until they were too tired to stay up any longer. Stephanie made sure Patrick modeled many of her doll’s clothes. That was followed by play acting a date with her Kyle doll. Stephanie even took Patrick on a wild drive in the pink convertible. Finally, Stephanie lay Patrick down to sleep in her underwear drawer and slid the drawer shut.

The next day, their parents were distraught when they could not find Patrick. Stephanie played innocent well enough to keep Patrick hidden in her room. As their parents looked for him, Patrick was stuck playing with Stephanie in her room, wondering how much longer he would remain one of her dolls.

***

Unfortunately, at that point, the future started to get a bit fuzzy in the Chrono-Viewer. Maybe she turned him back to normal eventually, but who knows?

Those kids were hardly the worst offenders when it came to misusing the necklaces.

For example, there was one nerdy teenager who stole his sister’s necklaces. He offered the big one as a gift to a pretty popular girl on whom he had a big crush. She put it on to humor him, and suddenly found herself standing on a shelf in a giant bedroom. She was surrounded by anime figurines that were as tall as she was, and she was wearing only a necklace and a skimpy bikini. Her breasts and hips were now cartoonishly huge. She thought about trying to escape, but she realized that a fall from the shelf would probably kill her. She waited, and eventually the nerd who gave her the necklace came home. He entered the bedroom carrying a mannequin-looking version of her original body with him. She yelled at him, but he just smiled at her on the shelf and gave her a little poke with a giant finger. Then, he stuffed her old plastic body away in his closet (after feeling it up a bit in front of her first). At last, he turned his attention to her on the shelf. She had been transformed into his favorite figurine. He planned on having a lot of fun with her from now on, which became clear to her when he started unzipping his pants.

I’ll save you the messy details of what happened next.

***

Fine, I will fully admit that The Magic Toy-Swap Necklaces–besides having a terrible toy name–were not, in fact, a good idea for a child’s toy. I clearly overestimated people’s intelligence and underestimated their capacity to be horrible to each other.

Still, they did end up serving my current purpose very well. For example, that poor unicorn pony girl made headlines as did quite a few other people affected by the necklaces. Word was spreading that Santa had handed out dangerous magical gifts.

The plan was working.