The following week was a blur. The daily grind, the meetings…the HR emails congratulating Mindy on her "brave new journey." No one congratulated me on the loss of my first arm. Especially not the morning I walked in with empty shoulders, all I got was a grunt from the security guard who had to let me in, and a couple sneers and hushed whispers from coworkers. I kept seeing Mindy in my peripheral vision, showing off her one-armed condition, forcing it into every conversation every chance she got, sucking up all the attention from her co-workers like she was some damn celebrity. I hated seeing her like that, almost like she was who I should have been if I hadn’t accidentally drunkenly had my remaining arm removed.

By Friday, I was wound up tight as a spring. Riley brought Chinese food and a sympathetic ear. We sat on the couch together, eating from the cartons. Riley was in charge of the chopsticks and I was in charge of keeping her upright in my lap as she fed us both and we watched TV.

Between episodes I confessed, "I just never expected her to do something like that,", rolling a half chewed broccoli in my mouth as I spoke. "I never thought I'd inspire someone else to make such a drastic change, and I never wanted to confide in her.

Riley gave me a knowing look. "People have a strange way of showing their admiration, you know?"

That made me pause. "Admiration... That's what you think that is? She saw a disabled chick and her response was to cut her own damn arm off? For what reason...to one up me? What a psycho!"

Riley shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe it's her way of dealing with her own issues. Maybe she thought if she did what you did, she would find some kind of peace, or acceptance. Everybody has their own battles they’re fighting. Maybe she has the same kind of dysphoria as you and me, just not as strong. You could be what finally tipped the scales for her."

"Or maybe she just did it to spite me," I added bitterly. "To show me how ridiculous I look." I was beginning to hear just how ridiculous being mad at Mindy really was, and that I was just jealous of the attention she was getting.

Riley shook her head. "That's a pretty extreme way to make a point, don't you think?"

I sighed. "I guess. It's just...confusing." Mindy completely stole my thunder, as selfish as it sounds. I never even got a chance to be the "armless chick" at work and now I share the title with the annoying office administrator two decades older than me.

"You know, Megan," Riley began slowly, shifting to turn herself around, resting her stumps against my belly to be as close as possible to drive her point home, "Mindy might look selfish to you. She might even be acting a little selfishly, but everybody has their own things going on. They don't always know how to react. She's walking around the office showing off her new armless self, maybe hoping for some recognition, some validation. It must be tough on her. Maybe she deserves some sympathy."

I was about to retort with what little spite I had left when she continued, "You don't have to give it, though. But if you did..." Riley paused, her eyes thoughtful. "Well, you might learn something surprising about Cindy, and maybe yourself."

I shifted uncomfortably on the couch, digesting both Riley's words and the bite of beefy broccoli Riley stuffed in my mouth with a smirk to lighten the mood. On one hand, Mindy was an annoying, overbearing presence in my life. She was always asking me invasive questions, and her one-upmanship was almost comically evident. But, on the other hand, she was someone who had chosen to amputate a limb, just like I had. We were alike in that, both having undergone irreversible procedures due to a deep-seated need. It just wasn't fully apparent what Mindy's was. Thinking about it that way, it seemed a tad harsh not to extend empathy her way.

The idea of being sympathetic to Mindy... it was a strange thought. But maybe, just maybe, Riley was right: Mandy and I were more alike than we seemed on the surface. That night while waiting to fall asleep, I came up with a plan to know for sure.