“Hello? I can’t seem to get into the office. Can someone come help me?” I yelled into my phone on the ground. When Riley and I made the decision to start going to work without my arms we never considered the possibility that the automatic door to my office–you know, the one that’s supposed to open when you walk up to it–might just stop working!

“Sir I don’t have any–-yes, yes. I did try pulling harder. Can someone please help me?”

The security guard appeared in the elevator five minutes later and sauntered over to the door where I was waiting. I had squatted on the ground next to my phone, futilely kicking, flipping it with the toe of my shoe, unsuccessfully trying to find a way to pick it back up off the ground.

“Need some help there, little lady?” The guard asked from the open door.

I was already exhausted and the work day hadn’t even started yet, “Please.”

The guard picked the phone up from the ground and cautiously slid it into my back pocket, careful not to trigger a sexual harassment suit. It’s not like I would have done anything like that, I needed the assistance too much. But I did appreciate his conscientiousness.

Finally at my desk, I turned around and slipped my ass against the edge of my desk. My phone slid out and with a thud it landed neatly onto the table top.

“Hey, girlFRIEND!” the guttural excitement of Mindy’s voice made my heart drop. Ever since I lost my first arm she would not leave me alone about it. Constantly she would ask me questions about how it feels, and whether I regret my decisions. Today was just another day of working with Mindy. For her sake, I took a deep breath, shrugging both of my shoulders and letting them drop with the exhale. I swiveled my chair around to see her in the middle of my doorway with the biggest shit eating grin I’ve seen in a while.

“Holy shit!” I yelped. Mindy looked perfectly normal, as far as she is concerned, except for one small detail. The floral blouse with silk pleating at the top of her sleeves housed only one arm. Her right sleeve was perfectly fine with one arm sticking out of the sleeve, but the other was completely deflated, even beyond the silk pleating. She was missing her entire left arm! Even part of her shoulder looked like it had been removed.

Mindy stepped back in surprise, not expecting my lack of inhibition at my reaction on seeing her, “Well, good morning to you too!” She shrugged her shoulders sarcastically, her empty sleeve swinging from her shoulder.

“You...what the hell did you…?” In the moment I lost all sense of decency and politeness. I reached out to touch Mindy’s shoulder. Of course, only my shoulder twitched a bit in a futile effort. I walked up to Mindy, closely inspecting the area where she had permanently altered her body.

“Oh my god..” I whispered to myself. “Why did you do this to yourself?” I asked unabashedly.

“What do you mean, why did I do this to myself? Why did you do that to yourself?” I was caught off guard. I seem to have grown used to my own armless state. So used to them in fact, that it was hard for me to understand why Mindy would choose to amputate her own.

“You're right.” I said, embarrassed, “I'm sorry. I just didn’t expect…this” I shrugged my right shoulder toward her own left one.

“Well, after seeing you so happy and comfortable in your own situation,” Mindy gestured broadly, double so if she still had her left arm, “I thought I should take on my own needs.”

I stared blankly. Besides Riley and my new group of friends I met through her, I didn’t know anyone else who shares my unique interests.

“Did you do this…because of me?” I asked.

“Oh my gosh, Mindy, what kind of person do you think I am? No. Of course I didn’t do this because you had yours done,” She shrugged her left shoulder to emphasize the topic, “but it’s true, you did kind of set something off within me. I’ve always been a bit…confused about myself–my sexuality. When I saw you walk into the office on that first day after you lost your right arm I was intrigued. When you showed up without the other, I knew I had to do something.”

I was awestruck. Mainly because I didn’t know I could inspire others to make changes in their own lives, just by being myself.

“So–I did the impossible. I came out to my husband, went to therapy, got the approval I needed, and I went someplace where they have this high tech machine that took it off right here,” Mindy reached up to her own shoulder with her right hand, pressing gently into the empty area where her arm once attached to her shoulder, “Haha, well I guess it’s plain to see exactly where they took it off!”

I took a second to process everything she had just said, “Well it..it looks…amazing. They did an amazing job.”

“Why thank you!” Mindy replied happily, “Now tell me, any plans to get any more off?”
“Oh…um…well, now that you…”

Mind interrupted “Oh my gosh, I am just kidding! Now how ridiculous would that be! Don’t get addicted, now, you’re still young. If you’re not careful you could end up without a leg to stand on!” Mindy guffawed at her own joke and walked away without hearing me out. Her one remaining arm swinging exaggerated to compensate for its missing partner.

Shit. Well now I know how Mindy feels about all of this. She’s really going to be surprised next Monday after my next procedure.

Shrugging my shoulders, I shook off the awkwardness of the morning, sat down at my desk with a keyboard on the floor and got to work.