I was so excited I couldn't keep still in my seat! I always did have a lot of energy. My boyfriend in the seat next to me and our driver in front. We were in the middle of the jungle and my new husband was taking me to a secret clinic to have my arms and legs amputated.

John looked over to me and mentioned, “You're so excited, sweetheart. I'm happy to see you aren't too nervous!”

“I am nervous!” I said excitedly. “But I also cannot wait. I've been waiting for this most of my life.”

I've always been into bondage. I am a professional sub, which means people pay me to dominate me. They will tie me up with leather straps, hang me on the wall, make me come with a vibrator, slap me with a whip, really anything they want. They say to have a job that makes you feel like you're on vacation every day. Well, now I'm about to retire and move to the Florida of bondage: the complete articulation of all limbs.

John says I am welcome to continue working afterward but I'm not positive if I will want to, or if it will even be possible. Either way, it's fine because I will be in perpetual bondage. The paycheck from being used by my patrons would simply be a sweet bonus.

“By this time next week and we're on our way back to our resort, that seat will be empty in front of you,” John observed. He knew comments like that turned me on. “I'll need to get a new car with bench seats so you can snuggle up next to me while I drive.

I swooned “Oh my, John, that is the most romantic thing I have ever heard!”

“You sure do have a weird sense of romance, Jess” we both laughed as we arrived at a modern-looking building covered in vines. No one was outside and it looked very unkempt like they were trying to hide it. Which of course, they were.

We were dropped off and rushed inside by a receptionist. Our jeep sped away. Inside was the complete opposite. Bright lights, sterile..but still quite cozy. The doctor who ran this place seemed to want to be welcoming to his niche clientele but also wanted to make sure they knew they were being taken care of.

We were led to our room and allowed to settle down. I noticed our receptionist was missing one of their smallest fingers. After all, this is a place where that happens. Perhaps this person decided to get a job after obtaining their desired amputation.

The nurse came in with my gown and she went over the equipment in the room and the rules of the clinic. I noticed she too was missing her index finger. “You're missing a finger..” I blurted out.

“Oh, this?” She held up her hand. “We all have to get something removed to work here. The pay is worth it but the secrecy is paramount. I guess you could say this makes us all accomplices. None of our employees would let the secret of this place out. Plus, we all believe in the cause of Dr. Mai. He's helped hundreds of people and I have never seen someone leave here looking unhappy with their...modifications.”

“Has anyone else had as much done as me?” I laughed embarrassed. I want to be a torso but I am also fully aware of how insane that sounds.

“Oh, sure! You're not the first complete quadruple amputee to come through here. One of our other quad clients is currently recovering. Perhaps if they are interested you two could meet.”

It felt so good....validating to be called a quadruple amputee by the nurse. I hardly registered what she said after that.

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A little bit of backstory: I wouldn't have known about this place without John. He's a devotee but especially for people who want to be an amputee: wannabes.

John started as a rehabilitation therapist until he got to know one patient who revealed to him that he didn't have an accident and had his right leg removed on purpose in Thailand. The man told him he must keep the clinic secret or he risks being killed. If the secret got out to other wannabes the influx of new amputees would trigger investigations and raids of the clinic.

A few months later John met me on a Discord server for wannabes and BIID. He was extremely candid and talked for hours about how he was looking for one special wannabe girlfriend he could make into an amputee. And just my luck, he found me. Or I guess you could say I found him.

I spent most of my time making public posts on amputee subreddits and message boards that anyone who can get my limbs removed, whoever can make me into the torso of my dreams, please contact me. I never expected anything from it and got a few role players pretending to be surgeons.

John came across my posts long before we first talked. He finally revealed to me later that he knew of my desire long before reaching out, and knew he was the only one who could potentially help me. I wish that he did reach out earlier but he said he was nervous about the whole thing. He couldn't understand that a woman would want the same thing he did and didn't want to make a fool of himself. Well, I am forever grateful that he finally did!

We had been going out for just over a year when he proposed. We were comfortable with our little secret and he promised that as soon as we were married that he would make me a quadruple amputee with no stumps, exactly how I want it. It's no surprise I was on the edge of my seat the whole time just waiting for his proposal! I was his perfect girlfriend--I didn't want to lose this opportunity of a lifetime! Thankfully our relationship has always been pretty easy.

The day he finally did propose cried for hours because I knew my amputations were finally going to happen. He revealed the clinic and how secretive it was. The plan was that we would immediately elope and that we have an appointment in the next week while we are on our honeymoon.

So here we are! Thousand of miles from home in the Thailand jungle, at a very out-of-place modern medical facility that caters to people who need to be disabled to be happy.

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The operation is now an hour away and I am almost shivering from nervousness and excitement. It crossed my mind that I wouldn't be fidgeting so much after all my limbs are gone. I look down at myself, over my breasts and down my stomach, through my hips. I imagine my legs were gone and my torso ending at the bedsheet. I look over to my arms and imagine them terminating at the shoulder, only my beautifully defined shoulder blades and collar bones leftover to move.

“I can't take it anymore! Can we get this over with?” I say to John in mock anger. He knows how excited I am.

“Don't worry honey it will all be over before you know it. This evening you'll still be groggy and bandaged but even then I can give you a talking tour of your body. Would you like that?”

“Oh God, yes. Please, what will you say to me once I'm out?”

“Well, first I'll talk about your arms. Home rather how you don't have arms anymore. I'll mention how the arm bones were completely removed and thrown away, elbows, hands, and all. Pretty weird to think you won't have hands or fingers anymore, huh?”

“Yea, really weird but that's what I love. What else?”

“Well, your legs will be gone right up to about...” John softly slid the side of his hand up my thigh to indicate the exact level of my leg amputation. Right as his hand was completely beneath my gown the doctor came in. John snatched his hand back and we both blushed.

“Good morning!” said Dr. Mai. “We have a big day ahead of us. Are you ready?”

“Yes, I am” I answered confidently.

“To confirm, please tell me what we will be doing for you today.” Dr. Mai asked while looking at his clipboard.

“I will be having my arms disarticulated at the shoulders and my legs disarticulated at the hips. My legs will be a modified DHD, and a couple of inches of the femur will be left to give my body shape and to help with balance.”

Dr. Mai looked back and forth between me and his clipboard approvingly and checked the boxes as I listed off the procedures, “Very good!” he took out a purple marker and made marks around each of my limbs all the way up to where they joined my torso and left. I was mesmerized at that moment at how high up he had actually marked and imagined how much lighter I would be afterward.

Five minutes later two nurses rolled in a bed and I got on. I noticed they were each also missing a finger.

“We are going to give you something to calm your nerves.” they injected medicine into my IV. From that point on I didn't care what happened to me. When I woke up I knew I would be the torso of my dreams!