I walked up the steps to meet my Tinder date. I'm usually a bit nervous about these but this time around I wasn’t for some reason. Katie and I hit things off and I feel like I'm seeing an old friend for the first time...if that makes sense. I knocked on the door and heard faintly, “Come in, the doors open!”

I cautiously walked into the house of a stranger without them letting me in. Ok, now I'm a little nervous. “Um, hi!” I stood in the middle of a living room. I heard rustling in one of the rooms in the back. It was one of those situations where you really don't know how to behave. You don’t know what to do with your arms if you know what I mean.

“Just a quick minute!” I saw a shadow bolt across the hallway, I could hardly make out that it was Katie “I'm almost ready. Just..gotta....there!” She walked out of what was probably her bedroom and I was blown away. Katie was gorgeous. Long locks of auburn hair framed a face out of a Disney movie. Her smile made me melt even more than her profile picture did. Small freckles lined the bridge of her nose.

“How do I look?” Katie asked, out of breath. She must have been rushing to finish getting ready just before I arrived.

“You look...wonderful! A thousand times better than me, that’s for sure.” I gestured widely at myself.

“Oh c’mon, you look great! A few inches taller than I imagined you,” Katie sized me up. “Shall we? I'll just grab my...purse...” Katie bent all the way down to the seat of a chair where her purse was set. She didn’t reach out for it but instead threaded her head through the strap that was hanging on the back. Standing up her purse hung diagonally across her shoulders. The big puffy sleeves of her big puffy coat were already in the pockets. Katie giggled with me about what she just did and we walked out.

We got to my car, and like the gentleman that I am, I opened my door for her, “Damn, tall AND a gentleman!”

I blushed and laughed, “At your service! Don't want you to get chilly,” referring to the sleeves in her pockets.

We got to know each other better on the way to the restaurant. We had a lot of music and movies in common—we were basically part of the same bubble; boy and girl versions of the same person is what we concluded when we were still chatting. She was very easy to get along with and I enjoyed our flirty report.

We got to the restaurant and I rushed around the car to let her out, “Thank you, sir,” Katie mocked at me, “Did you know that despite my shortcomings, I can take care of myself?” She mocked.

“Haha, of course! I just want to make sure that you have a good night. It makes me feel good to know that you are.” I'm not usually one for chivalry, but first dates always seem a bit formal to me. If she prefers that I treat her as an equal, then I am more than happy! I even liked her more because she stood up for herself.

We got into the restaurant and the wait staff showed us to our seats. Katie’s large puffy sleeves were still stuffed into her coat pockets and purse around her shoulder. Both our chairs were pulled out for us and I took my coat off. I saw Katie make another dramatic move, this time even farther down, unleashing her purse from her neck and swiftly landing the strap over the back of the chair.

“Wow! I bet you couldn’t do that again if you tried!” I was quite impressed. But at this point curious why she didn't just use her hands to do it. Maybe they were burned or something. I made it clear to myself that if her arms were mangled or deformed, that I wouldn’t make a reaction.

“Would you...like a hand with your coat?” I asked cautiously.

“You know, that would be really convenient. I should keep you around just for coat removal.” She laughed to herself and I helped her. She wiggled her body and the velcro that kept it closed let loose fairly easily. I took the coat off her back and draped it over the chair. I noticed the sleeves of the coat were still in their pockets.

“Uh...” I looked up; I wasn't prepared for what I saw. Katie's arms weren't burnt or deformed at all. Actually, she was quite symmetrical and slender. But she was much much more slender than most other women her height. She had no arms. No arms didn’t really cover it though..she didn’t seem to even have any shoulders from what I could see. I was still standing behind her, and she was facing away from me. I pretended to adjust her coat as she settled in. I was awestruck.

Katie's body had no shoulders to speak of. I could see from the vantage point of her back that her slender and quite beautiful neck reach down much farther than you would expect on most people. The straps of her halter top crossed her back and wrapped around her neck. This must have been a conscious choice considering any other type of shirt or top would have simply fallen down without support from shoulders.

The bones and musculature you might expect to start at the base of her neck were not there. Instead, I saw a long, very graceful flat expanse that reached from her neck all the way down to her rib cage. I could even see a couple of ribs showing just before they got hidden by her top. Interestingly her breasts were more exposed this way. I could see her cleavage from behind her, where on any other woman that view would have been blocked by her shoulders. Her breasts seemed to look larger than they probably were as they hung on her inhumanly slender, armless frame.

I remembered the promise that I made to myself not to make a scene if I saw something about Katie that I didn’t expect. I stood straight, took a breath, and sat down. I smiled at her and she returned the favor with her gleaming angelic grin that made me fall for her in the first place.

“Mmm, this all looks so good! So you’ve been here before?” Katie was looking around at the food on the other tables. Her menu sat in front of her on the table. I heard her rustle her feet and suddenly a foot flew out from under our table and dextrously grasps the menu page to open it so Katie could read it.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck, I thought to myself. What do I do? Did she tell me about this and I was too dumbstruck to notice? Did I just want to get into her pants so bad that she could have said anything to me and it wouldn’t have registered? What do I do? What do I say? Should I turn the pages for her? No—she said she didn't need any help. Do I end the date? Tell her I am offended she didn’t tell me that she was some sort of cripple? I chastized myself as I pre-vocalized the words in my head. If she’s getting along on her own, and it pretty fucking obvious that despite her lack of arms she’s taking care of herself just fine, then she's not crippled.

Katie looks up concerned, “you okay? You didn’t answer my question.”

I stammer, “Oh umm, yeah...I mean, that is to say...what did you say again?”

Katie got pale and her mouth hung open. “Oh, shit..” she said.

“What? Are you okay?”

“Um, yeah, I'm okay, but I feel really stupid right now. I didn’t tell you about...this...did I?” Katie didn’t have any shoulders to shrug so she made a move where she moved her head side to side as if to accentuate where it was mounted.

“Um...no...you didn’t. But that’s okay! Um...I'm sorry I'm just so nervous now.” I said ashamed.

“Hey, I'm sorry, I’ve been like this for longer than I can remember so I forget all the time to mention it. You can take me home if you want.” Katie looked disappointed and beaten by something she had absolutely no control over. I noticed that the glow she had before was suddenly gone. I had gone and made an ass out of myself just like I promised myself I wouldn’t.

“Oh shit..no no no! I mean, if you hate me I can definitely take you home, but I’m having a really great time. I was just...surprised is all. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”

“Really?” Katie hung her head and looked up with just her eyes like a puppy.

“I would never give up on a date than can do puppy dog eyes like that,” I joked.

“....Really?” She blinked her eyes and pursed her lips in an exaggeration of the previous face. Her glow began to return to her face and I realized I loved it.

“Haha, yes, of course!” I replied, laughing. “But I just think you should know, I'm not really experienced in this...umm..you know, like not having arms and stuff.”

“Haha, duh, you big goof!” She swayed in her chair as if to wave her hand dismissively. “Besides one other girl I knew from years ago in rehabilitation, I’ve never seen another person without arms, let alone as severely as me. If you’re up to it, I'm happy to teach you to deal with...this” She wiggles seductively in her chair. Her breasts and cleavage swayed a bit in her halter top. They looked even better from the front. I was almost afraid to tell myself that they looked...sexy just sort of hanging there without shoulders and arms to frame them. I doubted I would ever tell her that little tidbit.

And that’s how I met your mom.