I wanted to apologise, to say sorry. It’s all too late, now…

The sentence stared back at me from the old-fashioned typewriter in the study. Had she known what was going to happen to me? Why hadn’t she warned me? Not that it turned out too badly in the end, but I could have done without the rough ride…

Anyway, you’re probably confused. Let me start at the beginning…

I’d just lost my driving license after being wrongly blamed for an ‘incident’ in town. As I was the delivery driver for the local hardware store, this meant I promptly lost my job. I was absolutely gutted. I’d been working with them for years, from an apprentice right up to being their main driver.

“I’m sorry, but we can’t be associated with someone that irresponsible”, they said. “You show no remorse at all.”

They completely refused to accept that there was any possibility that I wasn’t at fault; they just felt it was my way of dodging blame, even though I’d always been trustworthy in the past. I couldn’t believe that nobody was willing to give me the benefit of the doubt.

Sadly, I left the shop and caught the bus home. The rent demand was waiting in the letterbox when I got back…

I was wondering what to do about another job when a quiet knock came at the door…

I opened it, to be greeted by a rather cute redhead.

“Danny Briggs? I’m Nathalia Dyson. Can we talk?”

“Erm, sure. Come on in.”

She literally wiggled into the flat; her body was like a breath of fresh air after the day I’d had.

“I’m here to offer you a job”, she said, getting straight to the point. “It has come to my employer’s attention that you could do with one.”

“And how would you know that?”, I said. “I’ve only just found out myself.”

“We have our contacts”, was all she said. “Also, my employer has taken a ‘special interest’ in you, for some reason.”

“So, she doesn’t tell you everything, either?”, I said, amused.

“Nope!”, said Nathalia. “She didn’t tell me how cute you were, for example.”

She gently rubbed up against me, then not so gently…

“Take the job”, she said. “Please. For me…”

“I don’t even know what the job is, where it is, anything?”, I said.

“Let’s just say it involves babysitting me”, said Nathalia. “A personal bodyguard, shall we say.”

I took the job…

It was once I was sitting with Nathalia in her car, on the way to meet her mysterious ‘employer’, that I started to have second thoughts. What the hell was I doing?

Almost as if she knew I was starting to worry, Nathalia pulled over. She then put her arms round me.

“I know, it’s a bit much”, she said. “Please, trust me. You won’t regret it…!”

She kissed me, then put the car back in gear and drove off again.

I was now both intrigued and mystified at the same time…

After about an hour’s drive, we turned into an underground carpark.

Nathalia motioned me to get out.

“Take the lift to the top floor”, she said. “You’ll be met.”

I suddenly shivered…

“Ok…”

Instantly, Nathalia parked the car and got out.

“Ok, I’m coming with you”, she said. “I’m not having you upset on your first day…!”

To my amazement, she slid her arm around me, then steered me into the lift…

The woman waiting at the lift exit took a step back, surprise on her face, as we got off.

“Ms. Dyson! I wasn’t expecting you, Just Ms. Briggs.”, she said.

For a moment, I thought I hadn’t heard right. ‘Ms.’ Briggs?

“That’s Ok, Hughes”, said Nathalia. “I’ll take it from here.”

The statuesque blonde nodded, then withdrew, turning and walking off down the corridor.

“She’s a gorgeous woman”, I said, quietly, “but she’s obviously got problems with her eyesight. Since when am I a ‘Ms.’? Do I look like a woman?”

“Not yet, you don’t…”, Nathalia said, with a smile. “You will…”

She had suddenly changed, she now projected the ‘persona’ of a confident, commanding woman.

“By the way, I’m your new boss. You’re hired”, she said. She kissed me and scratched me with a fingertip at the same time. Everything just went black…

I awoke in a lavishly decorated room. With a groan, I sat up in bed.

I can’t think of how to describe the feeling when you first feel the tug of your new breasts against your chest, especially the gorgeous set that I now was sporting.

“Shit…”

My hand went down between my legs. Yep, I was now a woman down there as well. Strangely, now I was waking up properly, I felt as strong as ever. Weird…

Lying on the bed was a set of leggings and a sport bra, both in my size. I’d definitely need the bra, now…

Nathalia put her head round the door.

I just started cursing and swearing, using some phrases that were quite derogatory, as well as some that were just plain disgusting. Nathalia just stood there and took it all.

After I realised there was no point carrying on, as she wasn’t reacting at all, I stopped.

“I guess I deserved that lot”, she said. “Now, are you finished? I need you to start work.”

“You expect me to do anything for you after you’ve done this to me?”, I said. “You’re off your tree.”

“Daniella, please”, said Nathalia. “I need you.”

“My name is Daniel, not Daniella!”, I said. “I’m not a sodding girl!”

I then looked at myself.

“Well, I guess I am, at least physically, but that’s not the point! Change me back!”

“I’m sorry, I can’t. It cost me over a million to get the people in to get you changed this thoroughly and quickly, and I can’t afford to get them all back; besides it could be fatal to you to change you back so quickly. There is another reason…”

“What…?”

“I love you, you idiot! I have done since even before I first met you. Problem is, I’m only into women. Even as Daniel the driver, you were projecting such an effeminate attitude that I was sure you would make a gorgeous woman. And now look; you do.”

Nathalia steered me over to the dressing table.

A vision stared back from the mirror. Two gorgeous women, hugging each other.

“Damn. I’d date me…”, I said, astounded…

Nathalia laid a black skirt suit with an ivory blouse out on the bed.

“Come on, love, we’ve got a board meeting to go to. As distracting as you are like that, you really need to dress the part.”

With a giggle, settling into the role now I knew I wasn’t just ‘dolled up as a girl’, I got changed. The pair then strode off together down the corridor.

During the meeting, Nathalia introduced me to the board as her PA. One of the board members tried to object, threatening Nathalia. He took a swing at her…

More by reflex, I moved smoothly, blocked him, then bodily picked the man up and threw him out of the room.

“Any more complaints?”, asked Nathalia. There were none…

“Thank you, Daniella”, Nathalia said, after. “Good to see your training has kicked in, perfectly.”

“My… what…?”, I said.

“I told you that you were going to be my bodyguard. You were subliminally taught all the skills you would need while you were being ‘changed’. That’s why I insisted that you be able to keep your male strength. I thought it would come in handy.”

I just stared at Nathalia in shock…

That was when, with a shaky hand, she handed me the piece of paper with the sentence on it.

“I was writing you a letter. I was trying to apologise. Please; I don’t want to lose you…”

“All you had to do was programme me to be your obedient slave!”, I said, disgusted. “That wouldn’t have been too difficult for you, would it?”

I spun on my heels and stormed out, back to my room, oblivious to the sobbing behind me…

When she came into my room, I was putting on my coat.

“Don’t need to pack my bags”, I said. “None of this is mine; it’s Daniella’s. I’m keeping the bra, though. Thanks to you, I’m going to need it.”

I went to leave. Nathalia blocked the doorway. “Daniella, please…!”

“Don’t call me that!”, I shouted. “That’s the whole point of this, you just don’t understand! I could have loved you as Daniel, you’re a gorgeous, feeling, affectionate woman. You had to go and do this to me, though, against my will, and for that I’ll never forgive you.”

Pushing her out of the way, I strode to the elevator, rode it down, and left the building, tears in my eyes.

You see, I really loved her. But she betrayed me, my sense of self; she stole my very identity. How could I be with her after that…?

I went back to my old flat. I didn’t really have anywhere else to go.

I spent the first week or so just moping; sitting on the couch watching TV and drinking. It was only after my first bout of ‘women’s problems’ that I realised that some changes would have to be made.

I looked up online what to expect, and what I’d need, then went shopping. My selection of men’s products all went in the bin; I wasn’t going to be needing them anytime soon, and it would be weird to anyone a girl smelling like a male model…

I had to pay cash for everything; I didn’t dare risk using card. It still said ‘Mr’ on it. If only that bitch Nathalia had realised what problems she had caused…

How the hell was I supposed to get a job? I didn’t have any employment records in my name, no social security number, no photo ID.

I was researching what other transgender women had done in my situation, but even that didn’t really work either. They could at least prove they had been men if they had to; I had been so thoroughly professionally converted that I was biologically a woman.

I was still wondering what to do when the morning post dropped through the letterbox. A handwritten envelope caught my eye…

I opened it up; a Credit Card fell out, as did a Driving Licence and a Passport. They were all in the name of Ms Daniella Briggs…

“Dear Daniel,

I didn’t understand before; I do now.

I’ve effectively destroyed your life.

Please accept the enclosed as a way to carry on with your life, as some form of apology, at least. The card has a fifty thousand limit; I have set up a system this end to pay it off monthly.

My heart is breaking; I know, though, that I’ve lost you forever, and for that I am truly sorry.

I miss you.

Nathalia”

“I miss you, too…”, I said, quietly…

A few weeks later, I had to go out to get some air.

I was still getting used to being Daniella; I had finally decided to answer to the name. After all, it was mine now.

I’d taken up jogging; my body was now incredibly fit, but also high maintenance. I kept getting wolf whistled when out jogging round the park.

I had just stopped for a breather, when I heard a familiar voice behind me.

“Hi, Daniel. How’s it going?”

I spun, ready to defend myself.

Nathalia stood there. She looked drawn, scruffy; her clothes were tatty.

“What the hell?”, was all I managed.

“The board found out how much I spent on your conversion and sacked me”, she said. “They did let me go with a good severance package, however; I’ve been keeping that money, though, to pay your credit card.”

“The one I never used, you mean”, I said. “I’ve got a job, as Daniella. The local library needed some help urgently, and no-one wanted to apply, as they felt the job was boring.”

“I miss you…”, said Nathalia.

I reached for her first, I admit it. I could still see the gorgeous woman that I loved (yes, loved) behind that tired, scruffy visage…

Hugging her, I took her back to my flat, cleaned her up and dressed her in some of my clothes (we were the same size).

We then talked late into the night…

Things were different once we started treating each other as real people, not what we each wanted the other to be.

Nathalia moved in with me; that was unexpected. She said it was the only place where she had felt really loved and at home.

She’s here now, getting supper as it’s her turn to cook. It just feels so right, now…