Making It Permanent

   Their routine continued. Weeks and months passed and Leah's ventilators kept breathing for her and Sara continued to care for every need of Leah's completely paralyzed body. The topic of making it permanent had come up a few times but they had both talked rather jokingly about it, never with any great seriousness.

   On the one year anniversary of getting into her iron lung, Leah realized she was actually considering having her body permanently and irreversibly paralyzed. For the first three months of her experiment she hadn't moved or drawn a breath on her own by choice, and for the past nine months she couldn't have moved, drawn breath or even felt anything below her neck even if she'd wanted to. She loved being a ventilator dependent quadriplegic, spending most of her time in her iron lung, relying on it to breathe for her. She loved the routine of Sara taking care of her every need and bodily function. She loved how thin and frail her arms and legs had become as her body withered, her muscles atrophying from disuse. She loved going out in public in her wheelchair, her paralyzed body on display with her cuirass vent covering her chest. She loved seeing her limp body strapped securely in her wheelchair, shower chair, or exercise machines. She loved watching Sara manipulate her unfeeling body be it during stretching, a diaper change, manual bowel evacuation, or maneuvering her in a patient lift. She loved her suprapubic catheter and her urine collection bags. She loved her manual bowel routine. She didn’t even miss eating and actually enjoyed being fed through her feeding tube. She didn’t miss speaking and was able to communicate perfectly well through her iPad and tongue control.

    Leah knew that if she actually decided to have her spine severed, rendering her a true ventilator dependent quadriplegic she would never feel any sexual pleasure again. After thinking about it for a while she realized that she hadn't felt any sexual pleasure since getting the shot months ago and that she didn't actually miss sex and masturbating to Leah's paralyzed body seemed to content Sara. Since Leah had entered the iron lung their relationship had grown stronger and more loving but had become asexual.

   That evening after dinner while Sara was doing Leah's manual bowel evacuation, Leah said, “DEAR I'VE BEEN THINKING. THIS IS WHAT I WANT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I WANT THIS TO BE PERMANENT. I WANT THE DOCTOR TO SEVER MY SPINE, PARALYZING ME AND MAKING ME A QUADRIPLEGIC, FOREVER DEPENDENT ON VENTILATORS TO BREATHE AND FOR YOU TO CARE FOR ME. WILL YOU STAY WITH ME IF I DO THIS?”

   Sara looked at her, there were tears in her eyes, but she was smiling, “Of course dear, I've know for awhile now that you would come to this decision. I will care for you.”

   Sara called the doctor the next day. He told her he needed to confer with the psychologist and would let them know. He soon called back and said after talking it over with the psychologist he had agreed to do the surgery. It was scheduled in two weeks.

   The day of the surgery arrived and they drove to the same clinic. This time they were escorted to an operating theater.

   The doctor came in. “So, we've decided to make this permanent?”

   “YES,” Leah said. “I WANT THIS MORE THAN ANYTHING.”

   “There is no turning back from this,” the doctor cautioned.

   “PLEASE.” Leah said.

   “Alright then,” he said. He explained the procedure that would render Leah a ventilator dependent quadriplegic. She would be put under full anesthetic and then an incision would be made at her C1 vertebrae. He would remove the implant that was currently keeping her paralyzed and permanently sever her spinal cord leaving Leah a complete ventilator dependent quadriplegic.

   The nurse helped Sara remove Leah's clothes except for her diaper and the cuirass shell. She was lifted onto the operating table and strapped down. The nurse lowered the anesthetic mask over her nose and mouth and Leah slipped under.

   She awoke in a hospital bed in a nice private room. She heard the familiar whoosh of a ventilator and saw the cuirass shell on her chest. She could also hear the sound of an air mattress inflating and deflating, keeping her from getting bed sores. Sara was sitting in a chair next to the bed and noticed that Leah had woken up.

   “Yes dear,” Sara said, smiling, answering the question she could see in Leah’s eyes. “You are a real ventilator dependent quadriplegic. I'm here for you, I will always be here for you.”

   Tears of joy began to flow down Leah's checks.

THE END