"Welcome back to my show!" Brittany, the WebCam Magician smiled for her audience, her blonde hair curled nicely around her face, all that could be seen in the extreme closeup. "So, apparently a lot of you liked the little video I did about me talking about how to remove a woman's head, and even more of you liked the demonstration video afterwards!" She giggled at that, turning her head to the side as she did so. "So, for everyone here today, I'm going to be talking about everyone's favourite trick! Sawing in Half!"

She looked to the side, and the camera panned around to show several boxes an devices that all had the same purpose. To divide the person inside into two. "This is one of the most classic tricks in the book," Brittany said as she approached the nearest such device. "The first ones used fake legs or a second assistant hidden in the box or frame, and they would curl up safely out of the way of the saw and blades," she opened one of the boxes up to show Janet, her assistant - or the other way around - inside a box like that.

"Thanks Janet!" Brittany said as she moved on to the next one. "Then there's the Thinbox version of the same, where there is not as much room for the Assistant to hide," Brittany opened it up and Janet was in there too, despite the thinbox being in view the whole time.

"After this, things get unusual, and less Stage Magic and more Natural Body Magic," she explained. "One of the conceits to dividing a woman in half is most of the time, you actually divide me! Her! The Jigsaw is an open version of the sawing in half with no box, but the Assistant is never really cut in two, just the saw passed through their waist. The Modern Art," she stepped beside the vertical box, "is a variant where the woman is standing upright instead of laying down, and the box slides over to demonstrate the division." She slid the top of the box to the side, and to the surprise of the audience, Janet wasn't inside this one.

"Then there's the vertical division," Brittany said as she stood before a large frame. "The woman is cut from crown down," she pointed at the top of her head and drew a line down her body, showing where the cut would be for the camera. "This is done on stage with the help of mirrors and the actual division being hidden," she elaborated, "but I don't cheat like that," she added with a grin.

"From there, you can get things like the Double Sawing, where two assistants are cut in half and then they have their halves switched. A common way to include a degree of quick-change into a performance. Or if you're actually magic, you can wave away the problems with the two halves being different sizes as you've seen Janet and me do in the past." She walked around various props that she hadn't described yet and whose functions were still the same.

"The biggest problem I have with this performance is that it's all wrong," Brittany told her audience as the camera panned back to get all of her in the picture. "You see, the half-way point for a woman's height is roughly here, at her hips," she indicated the wide section of her body, "but there's so much bone here with, you know, the hips! The best spot to cut a woman is across her waist, and when you see the fakes going on, that's where the cut is!" She crossed a finger over her thinner waist to show the difference.

"Except this is about the two or three-fifths mark, depending on if you're going head down, or feet up, and it about in line with your elbows, not your wrists," she complained. "It's all so fake!"

"Anyway, being sawn in half is typically very passive for the assistant," she explained as she walked around. "You just lay there and smile while the Magician does all the work. And because of that, it's usually popular for audience help, or for multiple assistants to help carry the load while the primary gets cut up."

"There are a lot of little details about sawing in half that go on in any given performance that I could spend all day going over them all and still not be done, but that's boring! You're all here to listen to my anecdotes, aren't you? I know you are!"

She leaned over a low table that had a chainsaw on it. "So, my first time being sawn in half was by my stupid brother when he was starting out. It was .... well, I'm going to be honest with you. It was fun at the time, but it was really boring too. Oh, whoop, I lay down and get locked in a box and he took so long! Like really long! He got better though. First time performing? Yeah, it was better. Had this cute skirt on."

"But I also find it the most boring really. Too many magicians pretend to get caught on the spine, even though that's so cliche it's stupid," she rolled her eyes at that. "It's a gimmick to help make sure the two assistants are properly in place and to give them time."

"After that though? Yeah, public events. Private events. That sort of thing. Sawing is a nice way to break the ice and is a good thing to use to anchor the performance if you're going to be going places by providing a simple, easy to understand trick."

She leaned forward to whisper into the camera. "I'm not going to tell you the name of the first man to saw me in half, and then make sweet, sweet love to me. And yes, I have done myself," she admitted with a smile. "And done others in the middle of a double-sawing."

"I know!" Janet could be heard yelling from off camera.

Ignoring that, Brittany kept talking. "Of course, I just mentally roll my eyes every time some 'creative' magician gets it into their head to give the head a little tug to allow the divider blade to go through to hide the cut or the two assistants," she shook her head. "It's old and it's over played."

"Anyway, the first time I was vertically cut in half was because the bastard did it as a surprise! I thought it was a regular cutting but he spun the contraption around at the last moment, and SLAM! Metal sheet, right down the middle!"

She sighed. "Thing about that type of trick is if the magician is good, you're still one person. Your head is in two, but you're still thinking one thought, not two sets at the same time. If they're not, however? Whoa, massive headache when you get restored. But the feel of that cold metal, sliding down your spine?" Brittany shivered. "Oooooh, nothing like it!"

"Of course, there's the other way too, up the middle." She gave the camera a knowing wink. "The sharp, vicious saw attacking my innocent loins?" She blushed a little at that. "First time I did it that way? Hrm... no. The best time? I was helping out with a no-budget movie, and the slasher had a chainsaw. In the woods. I can leave the rest to your imagination. And if you're lucky, you may even see that movie!"

She then pushed herself up. "There are plenty of ways to take this sort of performance," she said, "with long traditions for most of them. Sometimes, the classics are the best way, and sometimes, you just have to throw caution to the wind and do something... extraordinary!"

Brittany smiled again. "And that's it for this little intro-show! Some of you at the lower donation tier will get access to a video of me being sawn in half by Janet over there! The next tier will get a sexy sawing, just the way you like it! And one lucky patron, selected at random, well, he or she will get a ... hands on look at a custom sawing I have developed! Watch your emails, and see you around!