"Thank you all for coming," I said to the audience after making my appearance.  "And welcome to the show."  I bowed.  "Now, it just so happens that in the spirit of Christmas," I paused to let the audience react. "YES!" I yelled back. "I know it was last month!  Yeesh!  Let a poor guy finish!  As I was saying, in the Spirit of Christmas, I wound up with a proper assistant.  And she insisted" I lied, "that she dress for the occasion.  So, for tonight, I would like to introduce Joy!"

Jody - stage name 'Joy' - strutted onto the stage.  She had tied her hair back, and we had agreed on a costume for her to start in - a red leotard with a skirt that combined to show off the edges of her hips, a felt collar and the traditional hat.  Naturally, her appearance elicited whistles of appreciation from the crowd - just as planned.

"Joy here has agreed to be my assistant for this performance," I repeated, "but in exchange, I have to give her a present as well."  There were some vocal suggestions from the crowd.  "No, no, none of that," I said. "But rather I promised her that she would have the choice of one performance this evening," I paused to let that sink in, "with her choice of assistant from the audience." I winked, and Joy smiled.

That was the deal we struck, and I would stick by it.

"So, to start off tonight's acts, and to actually use a willing woman for more than one piece," I moved on to the first 'trick' to get the ball rolling so to speak. "I think we'll start with something simple."

That was Joy's first mark, and she was on it.  She turned back, giving the audience an excellent view of her back, the cloth of her suit dropping down to her butt.  "And by simple, I just remembered that presents need wrapping!"

Joy returned with a decent sized transparent box on a thin table.  She locked the wheels in place and we both gestured to it.  "This is my wrapping station," I pointed to it.  "Joy, please step in."  With that command, Joy stepped climbed onto the table and stepped into the clear box.  It was a tight fit as she folded and squeezed herself into it, but she was finally able to do so. So far, all was good.

"Now, thankfully, I have wrapping paper," I said as I produced a roll from my far-too-small sleeve. This one was a vibrant green that shimmered as I started to unroll it.  It also crackled, to help prove that it was real.  "Let's see here," I said to no one in particular as I moved to lift the cube up. I couldn't - well, I could, but I wanted to keep the impression of weight inside Joy's cube, her face still smiling.  I slid the paper under it and then  began to fold it up along the sides until I at last covered her face - and the whole of the cube.

"No, no no, that won't do at all," I commented as I mock-searched my pockets before pulling out a pair of scissors.  Snipping them in the air at first, I quickly attacked the wrapping paper, slicing it away to reveal a red under-layer that wasn't there before.

At last, I was finished and proudly displayed the box, an irregular pattern of blue and red on it.  "Now, to unwrap my present!" I gleefully announced, making the scissors vanish with a flick of the wrist. I began to rip off the wrapping paper, revealing the still smiling Joy inside.

She began to push herself out, unfolding as she did so, and the audience started to applaud. What once was a red Santa's outfit was now a red and blue diamond harlequin dress, the alternating pattern on her leotard and skirt complimenting each other. She now had wrappings for her arms and legs that also had the same pattern, though her hat had vanished.

"Well," she said with a smile, "I think the joke's on someone. But I don't know who yet."

"We'll find out," I said the next line with ease.  "Why don't you go get the next prop?"

"Of course!" Joy hopped down and pushed the table-and-box back stage.

"Man, it is so nice to have a helper!" I said to pass the time. "Someone else to grab things for me."

Just in time too, as Joy returned with the next prop.  I couldn't take credit for inventing this one, but I wasn't about to turn it down either. She came back with a tall, thin box on rollers. The bottom was about the height of her new stockings, while the top was up to her neck.

She spun it around to show it off. Hanging off the sides were three thin blades, while the sides had gaps at shoulder height.  She unlatched the sides, showing off how it opened up like a book and showing off the gaps for her neck and legs.

"This one doesn't have a name," I said sadly. "But it's what we have to work with." I gestured at it. "Joy, step in please!"

Joy spun around and backed in, sliding her arms through the gaps on the sides, and her legs down the bottom and her neck into the top of the frame.  I closed and latched the box, giving the audience a good view of her body.  Stepping around behind it, I rolled down a paper back to it, then circled around the front to repeat the action.  With the second cover lowered, a light came on the inside, showing off her body's outline.  She gave it a wiggle.  unscripted, but allowable.

"Now, the next step is simple," I say as I picked up the first of three blades from the sides. "I run her through!"  With that, I slid the blade into the gap between the front and the back of the frame, just under her arms.  With the light on, the blade's passage was clear, as was the movement of her body in reaction to the push.  Without another word, I repeated the action with the second blade through her ribs, then the last one along her hips.

I paused to let her predicament make itself apparent, the handles and points protruding from opposite ends of the frame, with it obvious that there was no way for her to avoid them.  "Hrm, I think I need an assistant for this," I said as I selected a woman from the audience. "You, ma'am, please come up."

She did.  She introduced herself as Suzanne.  Brown hair, brown eyes, a bit shorter than Joy. She was wearing a business dress that was light grey over a white shirt.

"Well Suzanne, thank you for coming to my aid."  I smiled.

"Anything!" She replied, giddy. "How can I help?"

"Well, I am going to open up that frame," I said, indicating the paper cover. "And I need you to verify some things for me."

"I can do that!" Suzanne agreed.

"Good!" I said as I pulled up the back of the frame, then the front.  Suzanne gasped.  Joy's body had vanished!  I looked into the frame. "Huh," I commented.  The inside was unblemished, save for the three blades. Hanging from the top one was the leotard. The middle one was empty while the bottom had the skirt wrapped around it.

"Where did she go?" Suzanne asked.

I was quick to respond. "She's right here!" I pointed at her head, arms and legs. "Now," I said, indicating the empty gap in the box. "Could you check to make sure she's really gone?  Climb through please?  And don't worry, the blade's aren't sharp.  They're magic!"

"Just climb through?"

"Yes please.  From behind if you would."

"Sure thing."  Suzanne went behind and looked through the empty gap.  She waved one hand into the space and touched the blades carefully.  "I can do this easy," she said. "The gaps are plenty wide enough."

"Great!" I agreed.  Suzanne stepped into the box carefully and for a moment, nothing happened.

Then the smoke bomb went off.  "Ack!" Suzanne cried out, then there was a thump.  The smoke quickly vanished, drawn up by the fans in the ceiling.  Suzanne was sitting on the floor, rubbing the back of her head. "What was that?" she asked.

"Stand up and look at yourself!"

She did and the audience applauded again.  Suzanne was now in Joy's dress!  The leotard was loose on her, and the skirt hung on an angle.  "Wow!" She exclaimed as she examined her new outfit.  "Can I keep it?" she asked me with some eagerness.

"Sure," I said. "But let's see what we have here..." I gestured behind her.

She turned to look.  Behind her was her old clothes!  Hanging from the top blade was her jacket strung out through the arms. Her shirt was folded over the middle one while her skirt was over the lower one.  I reached in and tugged off the clothes, cutting them in the process.  "Want these?" I said.

"Nah," Suzanne said.  She was examining her new clothes with some curiosity.  "So, what next?"

"Well," I said as I looked back to the smiling Joy. "I think I bring her back for the next trick."

Suzanne nodded in agreement. "Um, one question though," she raised one finger to emphasize the point. "What is she going to wear?"

I thought about that as I closed up the front and back. "Your point?"

"Well, I'm wearing her old clothes, and mine are out here too," she pointed out the obvious.

The internal light came on and I removed the three blades.  "And?"

"Nothing," Suzanne said with a knowing smile. "I just wanted to make sure I knew what was coming next."

"Then I must be a poor magician," I said with a wink. "Because you're right!" I opened the box, and Joy stepped out, ready for the next display.