Bill stretched his hands, intertwining the fingers to let him pop his knuckles.  "I'm not as young as I used to be," he lamented, "and I really need a good massage once in a while."

"I can do that!" some woman yelled out from the audience.

Bill paused, in front of the bowl with the various names in it.  "Really?  Usually I have to wait until after a show for random people to throw themselves at me.  Or they get up on the stage."  He looked behind him, checking that his helper had cleared it off, or that someone hadn't snuck up behind him to bypass the random draws.

He may have been able to manipulate the names selected, but didn't.  It was wrong.  And more fun this way.

Reaching out, he gave the contents of the clear bowl a swirl, then pulled out a name.  "Well, it's not Angela," he announced to a few chuckles.  "Come on up Joy!  You just volunteered!"

To a multitude of applause, Joy worked her way up to the stage.  Stepping into the light - no other woman with the same name intruding - she revealed her pink-dyed hair.  Over her shoulders, a brown vest laid bare her arms while a pleated skirt reached down to her knees.  Her vest was open, showing the black clasp on her bra and her navel.  "No," Bill said warily, "I am not going to turn you into a cowgirl."

"Just because I have the boots," Joy said as she raised up one foot to show off the red boots that reached up her thighs, "doesn't mean I'm going to use them."

"..." For a moment, Bill was flabbergasted.  "What have I gotten myself into?" he wondered aloud.  "It's almost like people know what to expect, and play to those expectations."

Joy put one finger on her lip as she swung her hips back and forth.  "I wouldn't say that," she said, "this get up wasn't for you at all.  I've got plans for after, and this is part of them," she patted down her chest and hips.

"Ah," Bill understood.  "So, how intact do you want to be when I'm done?  Because this is my version of the Iron Maiden."

"Don't care," Joy replied.  "We'll make whatever work out."

Bill wavered for a moment before shrugging.  "Well, it can't be that bad, I suppose.  I did have this planned for last time, but I seem to have doubled up."  He gestured behind him where his helper rolled out a wooden barrel onto the stage, the thin wooden boards banded with metal strips.  It was lifted onto one end, and the helper vanished backstage.

Bill plucked out the top of the barrel, showing off for all the hole in the middle and how it hinged open.  "I suppose you want me to climb in there," Joy leaned over, then stepped back.  "There's spikes in there!"

"Indeed!" Bill tipped the barrel over so that one of the lights above shone down into it.  The gleaming points of dozens of small, sharp metal spikes at all levels, all pointed inward.  It looked less like a wooden container and more like some horrific mouth.  There was a small gap in the middle.  "Climb in!"

Joy removed her boots first, then stepped into the barrel, trying hard to avoid the sharp tips.  Bill helped her get high enough to see what she was doing, but other than that, didn't offer any advice.  "At least you don't have one on the bottom," she said as she wormed her way around the metal.  "And that's not a suggestion!"

Raising one hand in a scout salute, Bill nodded.  "I accept that it was not a suggestion," he intoned.  "How are you coming along?"

"Almost there," Joy's shoulders were still above the lip of the barrel.

"Good!" Bill stopped playing with the lid to the barrel and swung it open.  He wrapped it around Joy's neck, leaving her head trapped above the barrel once she had settled in.  With the stock in place, Bill helped line it up with the top of the barrel and fitted it into the top as Joy finished settling in.

"How are you?" Bill asked.

"Very tense," Joy replied as she looked out over the audience, a strained smile on her face.  "I'm worried about what comes next."

"Eh, don't be," Bill said as he stretched his legs.  Then he put one foot on the upper rim of the barrel and pushed.

"EEEEEEE!!!!!" Joy screamed as she and the barrel fell over.  The wooden container landed with a thud, and the poor woman inside fell to the bottom.  "Aaah!"

Bill ignored the sounds as he gently pushed the barrel with his feet, rolling it around the stage.  "eeek!"  Joy cried out as the barrel shook, the spikes within puncturing her with each motion - front, back, sides - even if she tried to brace herself with her arms, the rest of her body could not hope to stay safe.

After a revolution of the stage, and more than a dozen spins of the barrel, Bill returned to the front where he carefully righted Joy.  "How was that?" he asked?

"ugh.." Joy tried to shake her head free of the dizziness of being spun around so many times.

Bill loosened the top. "Stand up!" he pulled gently, and Joy tried standing.  Her brown top was shredded, falling apart as she moved.  All that was left were the scraps over her shoulders.  Her skirt was missing as well, left behind in the box.

She was met with appreciation and whistles from the crowd.  "Now that we've been assured that she'll survive," Bill announced as he gently pushed her back down into the barrel, "it's time to change that!"  He sealed her back in, leaving only Joy's head visible as the helper came out from the back with several pieces of equipment.

The first was a set of screwdrivers, which Bill and his helper used to undo the top metal band.  With the screws undone, Bill pulled out segment after segment, removing the spikes and setting them to one side.  Once the first level was undone, the helper produced replacement bands, this time instead of narrow stiletto spikes, they were longer, thinner blades, which Bill showed off before sliding them into the now-empty holes in the barrel.

"What are you doing?" Joy asked, having recovered her senses.

"Oh, taking out the spikes," Bill replied as he did so.

"That's ni..I..!  OUCH!"

"And putting in longer chopping blades in their place!"

"What!?!?"

"Oh, these ones?" Bill held up a quarter arc for her to see, "once I'm done, they'll all reach the middle," he inserted the blades, and Joy felt them push against her.  She leaned as best she could away from them.

"Then what?" she demanded.

"You go for a spin again!"

Bill and his helper quickly changed all the spikes into their sharp edged replacements.  Inside the barrel, Joy contorted as best she could to stay away from the blades.  There weren't as many of them, but they were longer and wider.  "Uh," she said with worry, "I don't suppose you can let me out?"

"Not yet," Bill replied, distracting everyone from the helper, who picked everything up and left the stage.  Bill set his foot against the lip of the barrel, right in front of Joy's face.  "Ready?"

"No?"

"I heard a yes!" Bill pushed, and Joy screamed again as she fell over.

But the pain didn't come.  She felt a bit relaxed actually, as though she didn't need to fight to stay away from the metal bits.  In fact, she didn't even mind the spinning as she went around from floor to audience to ceiling to backstage curtain to floor again!

Bill tumbled the barrel around another loop, this one far more smooth as it ended, rather than the previous attempt.  "I think that's enough," he said as he righted the barrel one last time.  "Joy, how are you feeling?"

"Pretty good," she said.  "A little light-headed though."

"That makes sense," Bill noted as he loosened the top stock.  He gave it a quick yank, and it popped right off, raising Joy's head with it - and nothing under it! "You're ahead of this game so far!"

"What does that mean?" she asked as Bill lowered her to the floor.  "Huh?"

Bill tipped over the barrel, this time handling it carefully to let its contents slide out.  Half an arm, then the front half of a foot.  Brown cloth.  Two halves of a breast, neatly cleaved down the middle.  More and more mis-matched parts of Joy fell out into a pile on the floor beside her head until Bill was able to empty it out, tapping on the upended bottom to prove it.

"Holy!" Joy exclaimed as she looked at the pile of her body parts and clothes.  "That's all me?"

Bill poked a piece, and Joy reacted.  "That is!  That's me!  Neat!"

"Yes it is," he agreed.  "And once my helper gets back, he'll be taking you to the display.  I hope your other half doesn't mind?"

"Oh, if they can't take advantage of this," Joy said as Bill started to move pieces of her onto the lid her head was still caught in, "I think I'll look for different lovers."

"You heard the lady, whoever you are!" Bill yelled out.  "You've been challenged!"