Story 3: The Severing

Chapter 11:

It was only lunch time when I got home from work. There was no fucking way was I going to get in the cage. After all the skies were a deep blue. There was no way that Lisianski could conjure up a storm on a day like today. And if she added to my nightly lashings... well, I just didn't care at this point...

I had received a package in the mail. A new locking head harness with a built in heavy duty blindfold. I pulled it from the packaging and lay it on the table next to my cage. It looked really nice, but - I just wasn't in the mood.

I collapsed on my sofa and after staring at the walls for about ten minutes, my hand moved beneath the waist band of my skirt and down between my legs.

"What are you doing, subGrrl?"

"Aw, fuck! Lisianski! Don't you have anything better to do? I'm going to masturbate my blues away. What the fuck does it look like?" Despite my bravado, I must admit that I was suddenly nervous. Was I in for another barrage of needles to the crotch?

"Just don't do it," Lisianski said.

"Why not?" I asked. I was not in the mood for any strange games with the voice in my head. I was tired of Lisianski. I wanted to know what was behind her. What neurosis of mine created her...

"Because it interferes with my work," Lisianski said. "It will postpone results that I've been working on for weeks."

"This is just fucking ridiculous. You are just a voice in my head!" I screamed.

"Well," Lisianski responded. "If you want to get rid of me, then you should follow my instructions."

"What exactly is this grand project that you are working on now?" I asked.

There was a pause. Certainly Lisianski was making up some bullshit about saving the world.

"I am trying to sever Laysan from you."

Her response sent cold shivers through me.

"What?" I whispered. My breath had gone out of me. Tears were forming in my eyes. "What does that mean?"

"What it means is..." Lisianski sighed and her voice softened a little. "How should I explain this? We need to disentangle her from your brain."

"And will I..." an uncontrollable sob escaped my mouth. "Will I survive this... this thing?"

"Of course you will, subGrrl. It's my job to take care of you - to do what is best for you."

"But what does it mean? To sever... To disentangle..." I asked.

"My colleagues and I need a soul like Laysan's. One that is so pure, so full of love, so full of empathy. We need her, desperately. We need to give her the ability to live fully disembodied from her source... um..." Lisianski paused, obviously searching for words. Finally she mumbled, "which means we need to cut her connections to you."

"That doesn't sound too good," I wailed.

"Laysan understands what we are doing. She gave you the story. She wants to help us," Lisianski explained.

"Well, what happens to me? Will I ever see her again?"


"I would never say never," Lisianski sighed. "Look. I know that you love her so much. Who couldn't? Those memories of love are stored deep within you. Every time you think of one of those events you call the memory from its storage, savor it, and then refile it back to storage. I cannot manipulate the ways that your memories are stored. They are yours forever. So, in a sense Laysan will be with you forever and ever. We have to adjust how she shows up for you a little. You know... Re-attribute her characteristics to something else... here and there..."

I had no idea what the hell Lisianski was talking about, but it did not sound too good.

"Go look in your bedroom," Lisianski whispered.

I heard a tinkling sound of steel. I jumped up and ran into my bedroom. Laysan was sitting on my bed. She looked as she always did - naked, her collar, her chains and cuffs. The anchor chain lodged up in her sex which disappeared under the bed.

"Laysan!" I ran and folded myself into her arms. I breathed in her scent and languished in the heat of her skin. I felt the tickle of her hair against my face. She was alive! She was real! This couldn't be a dream, could it?

"I'll never let you go!" I cried.

She placed my hand on her breast, over her heart. I could feel it pulse. I could imagine her blood pumping through her. She was alive.

After a minute she held me away from her and then began communicating with me using gestures and pointing. I knew what she was saying. She pointed at me and at her beating heart. She pulled open the blinds on the window so that the sun shone in and she stood in its warm glow for a minute. She opened my closet and pulled out a silk chemise which she slid across her skin and then mine. She picked up a candle and held it to her nose, breathing in the sweet scent. She gently pushed my hair out of my face and kissed my cheek.

After each display she would point at me and her beating heart. I understood what she was doing. She was thanking me for giving her life.

She stopped flitting and clinking about the room and she stood looking at me. She pointed at the sun-drenched window, the silk chemise, the candle. Then she cupped her hand at her heart for a moment. She balled her hand into a fist as though she were holding a delicate firefly and slowly held it out to me.

"And now you want to give life back to me?" I asked.

Laysan nodded her head enthusiastically, smiling broadly.

"How?"

She moved her balled hand to the side of her head and poked her thumb and pinky out.

"You're going to call me?" I asked.

Suddenly, I realized that the phone was ringing. I turned to go pick up the receiver, but quickly glanced back at her. She motioned for me to go on.

I walked out into the living room and picked up the phone. Was I about to talk to Laysan?

"Hello?" I said quietly.

"subGrrl! It's me, BossWoman. I hope that you are doing okay."

"I'm okay," I said as a smile began to stretch uncontrollably across my face.

"I was wondering if you could meet me at the Railyard Pub this evening for drinks... I'd like to talk with you."

"With me?" I asked.

"Uh, yeah, this IS subGrrl, isn't it?" she replied.

"Yes!! It is! I mean, I am! I am subGrrl. I'd love to! What time?"