Story 3 - The Severing

I hung in my cage in darkness for several years waiting for death to ingest me and cast me atom by atom into the void.

I then awoke in my apartment to the day after the Doll Monsters had arrived, sprawled halfway out the open door of my cage. I unlocked my wrists, unbuckled my gag, and fell off my dinner table onto the floor where I lay, too sore and tired to move. My head was on fire, my tongue swollen and parched.

Chapter 1:

"Call in sick, my love," Lisianski whispered.

I made the phone call, then stumbled to my closet and pulled out a special box from my closet.

I was so tired. My soul was consumed with blackness. My thoughts were limp and dragging. They stole Laysan! I was ready to die. I would gladly die. I pulled a blindfold from the special box. It is the kind that you might wear in order to sleep on an overnight flight. I wearily crawled back to the cage on the table and tenderly shoved myself back inside, gagging and cuffing myself as I did. But not until I had wrapped the blindfold over my eyes and locked the door closed.

I did not want to see the world anymore. I wanted to hang in darkness again for as many years as it would take to render me invisible and scattered.

"Sleep, my poor little girl," Lisianski whispered.

---

I called in sick the next day too, and welcomed the weekend, content to never leave the cage again. Lisianski made me get out occasionally to clean the cage; to clean myself. Otherwise I slept.

Finally early on Sunday morning, I dreamed clearly and crisply for the first time in days. I was in a room with a large bed. Laysan lay, clothed in her chains. I called her name and climbed up next to her. She barely raised her head, seemingly as groggy as I had been - her flesh sporting a variety of cuts and bruises.

"You're alive! Are you ok?"

She did not move. So, I lay next to her and wrapped her body and chains in my arms. "My love! I am so sorry!"

I saw the briefest hint of a smile cross her lips and she exhaled a silent sigh. I snuggled as closely as I could and held her tired body. We lay together for several minutes until she conjured the energy to move her arm. She lightly gripped my wrist and pushed it down towards her crotch. Tears sprung to my eyes as I felt her weakness, her trembling effort. She pushed my fingers to her crotch until I realized that I was touching something cold and hard.

I sat up quickly and saw what she wanted me to see. A heavy chain trailed from her vagina and extended across the sheets and over the edge of the bed. Her chain was not attached to her lips or anything it was pushed up inside her somehow. My first reaction was to yank it from her, but as I reached for the cold links, I thought better of it. I didn't want to injure her. Instead, I climbed across the bed following the links down the side, and under the bed where they disappeared into the darkness.

Oh, my poor Laysan! I'm so sorry!

---

"There never were any secret codes in those fucking stories, right Lisianski? Why don't you tell me the truth?" I cried.

"I have been telling you the truth the whole time, subGrrl. You just refuse to listen," Lisianski replied.

"No! You are still lying to me!" I cried. "How can I possibly be the key to saving the people of the world? That's just bullshit and you know it! I'm just a lonely, sad, lesbian lost along life's highway. There is nothing that I can do to save the world! This is all bullshit! Go away! Fuck off and leave me alone! My miserable life was so much more bearable before you came around again."

"Now, now, subGrrl. Let it out," Lisianski said quietly.

"You wanted me for some evil purpose, but I didn't even live up to your standards. Surprise, surprise! Then you wreck my world and steal Laysan, the one thing that is all mine! The one thing that I love! I hate you, Lisianski! You're a parasite! You will suck me dry until I die and, truthfully, I can't wait! Cause when I go, so will you!"

"My poor child," Lisianski whispered.

"Don't you care that I will kill you by dying!" I cried.

"You have the biggest heart, subGrrl. But you have forgotten that it is inside you. Instead you think that it is something that you have to cart around like a heavy car fender or an old soggy, leafless oak limb. Useless. Hopeless," Lisianski paused for a moment. "But instead, your heart is a fast, sturdy bicycle with holes in the tires. Find some patches, subGrrl. Fill the tires with love. Ride like the wind. Wear your heart. Let it take you where you choose."

"Ride like the wind? You won't even let me out of this fucking cage!" I screamed.

"Put your feet on the pedals, subGrrl. Learn to balance. When you start to fall too far one way, you need to learn to lean towards the other. When you start to hate too much, seek a little love. When you find yourself overtaken by infatuation, temper it with action. Choose, subGrrl. Know yourself and choose."

"I DO know myself, Lisianski!" I cried. "I'm a certifiable, basket case."

"Now, it is you who is lying, subGrrl"

"So, then tell me about these secret codes! Tell me why you need to steal Laysan from me!"

"The secret codes," Lisianski explained, "are your feelings. The world needs someone who can show people their feelings. I failed you subGrrl. I do not have the power to make you feel again. But where I failed Laysan has succeeded. The world needs Laysan."

Lisianski is right. Laysan is love. But she is mine, and I need her at the moment. I slumped against the wall of the cage, my blindfold heavy with salty tears, exhausted.

"We're having a bit or trouble with Laysan, though..." Lisianski whispered. "We're having trouble communicating with her."

I don't know why, but I felt a smile creep across my face. I tried to turn it to a frown as quickly as possible.

"You've got to help us, subGrrl," Lisianski continued. "You need to get her to tell you a story. Something that you can post and expose to the world. Something that we can use to evaluate whether she is really the one that we are looking for..."

"Why should I help you?"

"Because she is strips of rubber and she is air and she is cement and grease. ...And you want to ride."

I lay quietly for a while.

"Rest, subGrrl. Rest and dream," Lisianski whispered.

After a moment Lisianski began to sing.

Her shadow creeps along the wall.
Her shadow stretches thin and tall.
Her blade raised high above her head.
And from this world, those things you'd shed.

I couldn't help myself. I began to sing the lullaby along with Lisianski.

Sleep well my love in your bed chains.
Your wooden altar so darkly stained.
Your limbs pulled and lightly strained.
She'll take away your worldly pain.

I settled further into the curve of my cage and let my muscles relax, letting Lisianski's voice flow through my brain.

Her blade is sharp. Her cut is sure.
She is the way, she is the cure.
So, lay down upon the altar frame
Bleed away your worldly pain...