Ecto-Girl 02

Ectorigins

Jo opened her front door and there was a robot there.

She didn’t realised it was a robot at first. She hadn’t ever seen one before, in fact it was fair to say the robot population of the town where she lived was approximately zero, so naturally she assumed it was somebody dressed up as a robot instead. In fact, she believed that right up until the moment it disintegrated her.

‘Delivery for Agent 7177-Alpha,’ said the robot in the sort of synthesised voice Jo would have expected someone dressed up as a robot to have. If she’d known what sort of sophisticated trans-galactic nanodroid she was dealing with she would have been disappointed it didn’t sound particularly advanced.

‘And good morning to you,’ replied Jo. ‘Why exactly are you dressed up like that?’

‘Delivery for Agent 7177-Alpha,’ repeated the robot. ‘Apologies for delay. For periods greater than 30 years of local time, recognition protocols may not function adequately. Please confirm: are you Agent 7177-Alpha?’

Ugh. Jo hated practical jokes, but it was clear quite a bit of effort had gone into this one. She supposed that the quickest way for it to end was for her to play along.

‘Yes, I’m Agent 7177 – what was it? - Alpha? What do you have for me?’

‘New bioform delivery as requested,’ droned the robot in its electronic monotone. What looked like a coffin constructed of matt white plastic hovered into view and Jo got her first inkling that this might be a more extraordinary event than she was expecting. The robot continued: ‘Delivery complete. Removal of unwanted defunct bioform as per warranty now in effect.’

When Jo saw the disintegration cannon emerge from the robot’s chest she was suddenly struck by a strangely clear notion of what was going to happen her. Perhaps that was a coffin after all.

It took less than a tenth of a second for all of Jo’s atoms to be scattered in every possible direction.

Strange as all that was, stranger still was when, approximately ten minutes later, Jo woke up completely naked on her living room sofa despite being absolutely certain that she was dead. She barely had time to register that fact before a small corgi dog leapt up onto the sofa next to her and began barking contentedly. Jo sat bolt upright, vainly trying to obscure as much of her nakedness as possible with her arms. It had been a reflex action – she wasn’t too bothered about her nudity in front of a dog, no matter how noisy it was – but she was soon glad of the effort as she realised there was somebody else in the room with them.

‘Don’t worry,’ said the someone else. ‘She’s really friendly. Sometimes ridiculously so.’

Jo pulled her arms tighter, which didn’t cover any more of her body, but reassured her in her dazed state by making her feel as if it could have done.

‘Who are you?’ she asked. Whoever this stranger was, he was tall, well over six feet, maybe six and a half. He wore a mostly-red plaid lumberjack shirt and jeans that looked a little young for him. He must have been at least seventy. He had a well-worn face with a very pale complexion that was framed by a neat grey beard and a full head of grey hair.

‘My name’s Edgar,’ he began, ‘and I’m the one who -’ He paused in mid-sentence. ‘Excuse me a second. “7177-Alpha-Alpha-Upsilon. Third Party Patch Request: Standby Basic Setting. Execute.”’

Before Jo could make sense of what this “Edgar” was saying, something happened to her. The skin on her torso, from her shoulders to her hips, began to tingle. Immediately, she unwrapped her arms, startled by this sudden sensation. She might have been worried she was exposing herself, but instead at that moment she was simultaneously relieved there was nothing to see and stunned by why that was the case.

A jet black leotard had appeared out of nowhere and was now covering her body. The dog nuzzled Jo and with her hands now free she found herself responding and ruffling its fur. It was a pleasantly calming sensation among all the surprising goings-on.

‘I’m sorry for taking control like that,’ said Edgar. ‘I won’t do it again. In fact…’ He adopted the commanding tone he’d used earlier that had seemed to summon Jo’s unexpected clothing: ‘“7177-Alpha-Alpha-Upsilon-Zero. Engage Autonomous Control. Level 5 Firewall. Execute.”’

Jo’s leotard sharply turned white in colour, then gradually darkened again, becoming greyer and greyer. It looked like it might become entirely black again, but the darkening eventually stopped and the fabric started to become lighter again. This didn’t last long though, the depth of shade varying by ever diminishing amounts giving the impression that the colour was being “tuned”. Jo didn’t really notice any of this, now fully engaged with her new canine friend. The shifting shade eventually stopped, a little nearer the white version than the black in its greyness.

‘I like your dog,’ said Jo. It was the only thing she was certain of at that moment in time.

‘Thank you,’ said Edgar. ‘I’m very fond of her. Her name’s Ella.’

‘Good girl, Ella,’ said Jo keeping her focus on the dog instead of her owner. Without looking up, she continued. ‘What just happened?’ She frowned. ‘Am I dead?’

‘No,’ replied Edgar, ‘you’re very much alive. Perhaps more so than you ever have been before. It’s just that you’ve got a new body.’

‘You say that as if it’s the sort of thing I should simply accept and move on.’

Edgar sat down in the chair opposite. ‘It’s the truth. Let me explain.’

‘Please do.’

With Edgar sitting, Ella finally gave Jo some space and went over to her master for some attention there. Now free to do so, Jo picked at her unusual clothing. It seemed to be a stretch material like lycra, but it was far more comfortable. Would that too be part of Edgar’s explanation?

‘I’m from another planet,’ began Edgar. ‘And like most people from other planets I don’t actually look anything like a human being. In fact, my people don’t really look like anything at all these days. We’re creatures composed entirely of mind – we have no physical form of our own. We haven’t had for thousands of years.’

‘Millenia,’ said Jo.

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘When you talk about cosmic stuff, you’re supposed to say “millenia”. Unless it’s “aeons”. I’m beginning to think you’re not from space at all.’

‘I am from space,’ said Edgar. Ella had settled now by his feet, painting a deceptively terrestrial picture of an alien and his dog. ‘And I can assure you nobody actually says “millenia”. In fact, nobody says anything, because we don’t have mouths, as I was just saying. We don’t have bodies at all, unless – and this is the clever bit – we need them to do something physical. Like go for breakfast, build something out of Lego or visit a planet populated by skeletons. On those occasions, we can synthesise a form of psycho-reactive ectoplasmic matter to create bodies so that we can interact with the physical world. And that’s what I did when I came to this planet just over fifty years ago. I transmitted myself across the light-years from my homeworld and materialised here in this body.’ He pointed at himself with both hands to emphasise his point.

‘What for?’ asked Jo. ‘Why did you come here? Are you judging us to see if we’re worthy of joining universal society?’

‘Oh, I’m afraid that ship sailed “millenia” ago. If you ever get out past Alpha Centauri maybe they’ll reconsider, but it’s generally acknowledged that you lot are better left to your own devices. No, I came here for a holiday.’

‘Fifty years ago? That’s a long holiday,’ said Jo.

‘It was supposed to be two weeks. But you know how it is: you overspend, you don’t have enough money to to get a ticket home, you become a successful footballer, retire and have a career as a radio commentator, get yourself a dog and an allotment and before you know it someone’s got to look after the veg and take Ella for walks and point zero five “millenia” have passed.’

‘You can stop saying “millenia” now, thank you, I believe you. Wait a minute: ”Materialised in this body”?’ Jo was starting to piece things together.

‘Yes, I think you can see where this is going. You see, thirty three years ago, just after I retired from football, my body was reaching the end of its full functionality.’ He poked a thumb toward his chest. ‘In its heyday, this ol’ thing was capable of a lot more than just kicking a football and eating bagels.’

‘Like getting you dressed instantly?’ suggested Jo, twanging the sleeve of her mystery leotard.

‘Even more than that,’ said Edgar. ‘I’ll get to that in a minute.The point is, I didn’t have enough money to buy a ticket home, but I did have enough for a new body. What I didn’t realise was the price that was quoted was for standard delivery. It was only after I’d clicked “buy” that I saw it was going to be more than thirty years before it would arrive. At that point I thought “sod it” and went back to living the very pleasant life I’d carved out for myself. I moved out of this flat -’

‘You used to live here?’ exclaimed Jo.

‘Yep, that was the delivery address I’d given for my new body. I moved to a nice semi not too far from the allotments and a tram ride to the radio studio and more or less forgot I’d ever ordered it. Until I got the delivery notification today.’ He looked embarrassed admitting this. ‘I was going to just ignore it, but then I remembered I’d asked for the old model to be disposed of when the new one arrived. You know, like they do when they deliver a new fridge or washer.’

‘This is a bit more important than a fridge!’ said Jo. ‘I thought I was dead!’

‘But if you thought you were dead, that meant that you weren’t dead, didn’t it? I mean, if you were dead, you wouldn’t be thinking at all.’

‘What?’ Jo sort of knew what Edgar meant, but she wanted him to spell it out.

‘Even though you’re not from my world, the discorporation process used by the delivery nanodroid worked in the same way. Your mind was maintained even though your body was disintegrated. When I arrived, you were in the pre-install state the nanodroid had left you in. I just finished the process and put you in the new body.’

‘But I thought it was supposed to be your body?’

Edgar let out a dismissive huff.

‘Maybe thirty years ago, but I’ve made my bed now. You might as well have it – compensation for the inconvenience. Besides, you’re much smaller than I am so there was some of the ectoplasmic matter left over. I only really needed a bit of it.’

Jo started patting her body, checking if anything was missing. ‘A bit of it? What do you mean?’

Ella had fallen asleep some time ago, bored from the lack of attention she’d been receiving. Jo had seen her twitch a couple of times in her sleep, caught in the middle of some happy dream. It was at that moment that Ella twitched again, only this time the result was far more noticeable.

A “nanodroid” was strange, a leotard appearing out of thin air was stranger, but a sleeping corgi instantly transforming into a labrador was…

‘Yikes!’ cried Jo, startled by what had just happened, but then immediately covering her mouth in a too-late attempt to stop the noise waking Ella – if it was Ella.

‘Ella was getting on a bit. She’s been a good friend to me over the years and I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her yet.’ Edgar stroked the still-sleeping labrador version of Ella. ‘She’s got a new body too. And as you can see it’s very adaptable. Which neatly brings me to what you’ll be able to do with your new body.’

‘Oh my god, am I going to turn into a dog?’ Jo checked her ears and teeth, relieved to find that they were still very much her own.

‘No, you can change species, but you’re going to need a bit more practice before you start that. Best to keep it simple for now.. Your body is now capable of operating independently from your mind. You can change its outward appearance. Let’s try something small to begin with. Hair’s always a good place to start.’

‘What, you mean I just think of my hair looking different and it’ll holy mackerel what just happened I’ve gone and got a perm.’

It was true. Jo had barely contemplated the idea of changing her hairstyle and it had instantly rearranged itself. Cautiously she imagined it longer and it responded, lengthening and shrinking with merely a thought. She had long envied her friend Marie’s voluminous ginger curls and she willed a copy of them into existence. But while her hair astonishingly transformed to match that style, its colour resolutely stayed Jo’s usual raven black.

‘That’s a bit disappointing,’ said Jo. ‘Can’t I change its colour?’

‘No, you’re going to have to get used to a very basic colour palette. There’s enough life in you to conjure a hint of pink in your skin, but you’re going to remain very pale and be stuck with basic black for your hair.’ Edgar tugged at his own locks. For a second they darkened, but soon returned to his customary dignified grey. ‘Well, for the foreseeable future, anyway. Even your eyes have gone from blue to grey.’

‘You said hair was a good place to start?’

Edgar smiled. ‘Your whole body will respond in a similar way. Go on – try it.’

The thing that struck Jo later on was how quickly she took to this extraordinary situation. In a matter of minutes she had changed her body into all manner of shapes. She laughed when she made her chest bigger, she cursed when she became tall enough to bang her head on the light fitting in the centre of her living room. She gave a whistle at the instant gains that let her flex impressive muscles and she enjoyed the sensuality of a plus-size figure that curved in all the right places. In the mirror she watched a parade of faces: wide-eyed, small-nosed, high-cheeked, a bit beaky, a bit of a squint, with and without dimples. When she returned to her customary appearance, she smiled with the confidence of someone who had just mastered a new skill.

‘That is pretty amazing,’ Jo admitted. ‘Weird, yes, but definitely amazing. Thank you for all this.’

‘All what?’ said Edgar. ‘We haven’t even got started. Now, in order to teleport, you have to-’

‘Teleport!?’

The rest of the afternoon was spent with Edgar showing Jo the other abilities her new body conveyed. Since it was made of ectoplasmic matter, it could be disintegrated with a thought and reassembled with another. With a little concentration, that reassembly could take place in another location, effectively allowing Jo to teleport. She soon discovered she could only do this to places she had already visited, but making an instantaneous trip to the hostel she had stayed at in Osaka on her 22nd birthday was mind-blowing enough.

Altering the density of the mysterious matter that made up her body was also possible. There was a real knack to walking through a wall without falling through the floor when you were intangible. But as Edgar explained, the body was designed to be as user-friendly as a regular one so once you’d wrapped your head around what was happening it was no more difficult than keeping your balance or holding your breath.

Invisibility was the easiest of all. Simply blinking once made Jo vanish and when she blinked twice she would reappear. It was so simple it felt like a bonus feature that had been added on as an afterthought. But like being charmed by the simplest app on a complicated smartphone it was the one Jo was looking forward to using the most.

‘Hey, these “features” as you call them are tantamount to a set of superpowers. I could become a superhero!’

Edgar groaned. ‘Please don’t. I tried it once and it’s nothing but a big headache. You’re not obliged to go overboard with your new abilities. Just enjoy using them every now and then.’

But Jo was having none of it. She closed her eyes in concentration and her leotard began to transform into a bodysuit, its grey material darkening once again as it spread to cover her legs. A suitably heroic pair of black boots and a small cape completed the look and a stylised ‘E’ on Jo’s chest sealed the deal. Her physique became more toned, more what you’d expect from a superhero, and her face and hair altered just enough to make her unrecognisable.

‘Look out world, here comes Ecto Girl!’

Ella woke up, transformed into a German Shepherd and began barking. She knew something exciting was happening and wanted to join in.

Edgar, however, did not. He gritted his teeth and breathed in sharply.’Ah, bollocks.’