Forever a Blue Djinn 01

Newly Blue

“Can’t live, if living is without you. I can’t give, I can’t give any m-”

‘Genie Advice Bureau, your call is important to us – thank you for waiting. My name is Gustav. How may I help?’

Trina snatched up her phone and switched speaker mode off. She had left it next to her on the sofa while the hold music had been playing, and had got so far into this episode of Extraordinary Attorney Woo she’d almost forgot the call she had made some half an hour or so ago.

‘Yes, hello, is this the Genie helpline?’ Trina cringed. She knew for a fact this was the Genie helpline. Her Gran had given her the business card with the number on years ago, making her promise to ring it as soon as possible. She had stared at that card every day - pinned by a magnet in the shape of the Eiffel Tower to her fridge - too afraid at the possible consequences of calling that number. It was only with her Gran’s recent passing that the guilt at never following her wishes had demanded she finally do it. It didn’t help that she’d never been very comfortable holding conversations on the phone.

‘The Genie Advice Bureau, yes, that’s us,’ said “Gustav” in a slightly more European accent than Trina was expecting. ‘We’re here to help with any wish-related enquiries, or any issues you might have with bottles, lamps, rings, etc.’

‘Would an amulet be part of “etc”?’

‘Certain amulets would fall under our remit. Could you give me the registration number of said item, please?’

“Said item” was a brass talisman in the shape of a stylised bird with a dog or jackal head. It looked vaguely Egyptian, but only after the fashion of someone doing a terrible job of making something look Egyptian. Trina wore it on a chain on her neck, and she held it up to see if she could see this number Gustav was talking about. However, all that was there was a word whose presence had remained a mystery to her.

‘There’s no numbers on here,’ explained Trina. ‘Only the word “MIX”’.

Gustave gave an ‘ah!’ of recognition. ‘1009 – you have a Series 20 Charm. I can definitely help. What seems to be the problem?’

Trina gulped. She was already embarrassed enough, she might as well just go for it now and tell the truth.

‘Erm, I don’t really know what it is. Or what it does. I was hoping you could tell me.’

‘I see,’ replied Gustav. ‘”Full Introduction to Users’ Manual”. I can arrange that for you. One moment please, I’m going to put you back on hold while I raise the relevant document.’

“-get this evening, or your face as you were leaving, but I guess that’s just the way the story goes. You always smile but in your eyes your sorro-”

‘Sorry to keep you waiting.’ Gustav returned to the call sooner than Trina was expecting and gave her a start. ‘I’ve found the manual for your particular charm. It’s one that’s given to the offspring of a genie and a mortal as symbol of their birthright.’

‘My Gran gave me the amulet years ago. Are you saying she was half-genie or something?’ Gran had always been a little out there. “Away with the Fairies,” her dad had always said. Maybe she’d been “Away with the Genies” instead.

‘It doesn’t necessarily have to be that recent,’ said Gustav. ‘Even if it was generations ago, a little spark of magic persists. Nothing strong enough to grant wishes or anything like that. But genies generally possess subtle bodies that they can alter at will. The Series 20 is designed to ignite that spark and offer the owner a series of transformational possibilities.’

This tallied with a lot of what Trina’s Gran had said to her all those years ago. It had sounded like another one of her flights of fancy, but young Trina had been beguiled by the utter conviction with which she had been told of the magical properties of the amulet, so much so that she had always been too scared to follow her Gran’s instructions, even though they had to be nonsense. She could feel an echo of that fear now, as a strange, crackling voice on the phone told her in a matter-of-fact tone that it was all true, and she felt a sudden impulse to hang up. But she didn’t.

‘How do I get it to work?’ she whispered.

‘Are you left or right-handed?’ asked Gustav.

Trina told him she was right-handed.

‘Hold the amulet in your left hand,’ instructed Gustav, ‘close your hand around it in a fist and then blow on it.’

‘On the fist?’

‘Into the fist,’ said Gustav, ‘onto the amulet inside it.’

Trina swapped her phone over to her other hand and grasped the amulet in her left hand as she’d been told. ‘Here goes…’ She puffed into her closed fist.

‘Arrrgh!’ cried out Trina, in shock.

‘Now if the amulet is working correctly -’ began Gustav.

‘ARRRGH!!’ shouted Trina, just a little more loudly.

‘If it’s working you should have turned completely blue.’

Trina composed herself enough to speak. ‘You could have warned me! What am I supposed to do? Am I permanently blue? I can’t go out looking like this!’

Gustav continued with his instructions, his voice calm and professional. He must have heard Trina’s anxious questions, but he didn’t respond to them at all. ‘This is the “subtle body” I referred to,’ he said, apparently unmoved. ‘Your “genie form” if you like. Now the simplest transformation offered by this type of manifestation is into a cat. Let’s start with that.’

‘I’m not starting with anything. Did you miss where I said I’m bright blue? I can’t pass this off as body paint, my skin is clearly fluorescent bl-’ Trina caught herself as Gustav’s last words finally penetrated through her panic. ‘I’m sorry. “Transformation into a cat?”’

‘We recommend putting your phone onto speaker, and crouching on all fours to minimise the discomfort when your body changes.’

‘My body changes?’ said Trina, her head now spinning completely. ‘Into a cat?’

‘Are you crouching in a cat-like fashion?’ asked Gustav.

Trina quickly switched her phone on to speaker and put it on to the table. She took a second to look at her blue hand, turning it back and forth in disbelief, before putting that particular miracle out of her head in order to leave room for the next one. She adopted what she thought might be a cat pose, looking like someone struggling in their first yoga lesson. ‘I am now crouching, yes. Check.’

‘Please meow.’

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘Simply meow and in conjunction with your posture you will have done enough to redefine the essential spirit of your mystical body into that of the creature and/or being you have chosen.’

Gustav trotted out the words in a professional monotone. Perhaps he was reading them from a cue card. Trina was struck by how clearly he came across, even with her phone on speaker. Most call centres she’d spoken to had terrible connections.

‘If you don’t mind me asking,’ said Trina, still crouching like a very awkward cat, ‘where is your helpline based? You sound like you’re just up the road.’

‘We have centres all over the world, but today I’m speaking to you from Memphis.’

That wasn’t the answer that Trina was expecting.

‘In Tennessee? Wow, are you far from Graceland? My mum’s a huge Elvis fan.’

Gustave gave a haughty little cough.

‘No, in Egypt in the second century BC. Are you ready to meow?’ Clearly, Gustave wasn’t interested in discussing his personal details. Trina took the hint.

‘Ready. Er, “meow”…’

There are some things that you just take for granted. It’s so obvious that you’re a human being you don’t need to check that fact or think about it to make it so. It’s something that simply is. For Trina, after half-heartedly giving her impression of a cat, that certainty altered. She knew, without an iota of doubt, that she was a cat. Of course she was. Her entire being was made up of catness. Or if it wasn’t, it very soon was going to be.

In the years to come, no matter how many times Trina would undergo this process, she would never forget how it felt on this first occasion. Parts of her body that she’d never really been aware of – bones, muscles, tissues, even the tiny hairs that covered her arms and legs – came alive and began to move. The odd sensation as her skeleton rewrote itself. The cramps and twinges as tendons moved in directions they’d never moved in before. Most sensitively, the tickling emergence of fur covering her whole body. It was these big alterations, rather than the gentle ones affecting her hands, feet, face and ears, that overwhelmed her. But when the transformation was complete, despite the slight disorientation and dizziness that lingered, there was one thing she was sure of above all: She felt fantastic.

‘Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow,’ she said down the phone to Gustave.

‘Yes, it is possible to keep your human voice even in animal form. I’ll explain the procedure for that in due course.’

‘Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow?’

‘No, I’m sorry, you won’t be able to change your colour,’ said Gustave in a practised apologetic tone. ‘You’ll remain blue regardless of the form you take. The magic from your ancestor is strong enough to be useful, but it isn’t particularly powerful. Basically, it allows you to assume genie form, and assuming genie form allows you to assume animal or gaseous form.’

‘Meow meow?’

‘Yes, gaseous form. I’ll explain that procedure to you too,’ promised Gustave. ‘However, we are now approaching the end of office hours for this service. I’d be happy to call you back when we reopen tomorrow morning, but for now I’ll have to wish you a good night and terminate this call.’

Before Trina could raise a complaint, she realised that the line had gone dead.

Well, fantastic. She was going to have to stay a cat until at least tomorrow. This was not a problem she had ever envisaged having to deal with. But on the other hand…

She was going to be a cat until tomorrow! It was slowly dawning on her just how amazing her current situation actually was. The world had been reinvented just for her. There was so much she could explore and experience in this incredible new body, leaping, prowling and slinking. So many possibilities.

But perhaps it would be best to start with a nap.