Bian High and Low 04

Not to Scale

Bian knew that going on a blind date had a built-in element of risk. She’d got to know Ursula through messages on the superhuman dating app, “Love, Supe”, but they hadn’t had any real world contact until now. So when she arrived at her potential date’s home on the outskirts of the City, she’d decided she was going to keep an open mind. Consequently, the fact that the converted cave at the address she’d be given resembled a supervillain’s lair didn’t bother her. She shrugged off having to traipse through dimly lit underground passages. And when she discovered that her date for the evening was a huge dragon she kept her terror down to a bare minimum.

Or at least resembled a dragon. Ursula was a gigantic creature covered in glistening grey scales, sat on a huge cushion that comfortably took the weight off her four legs. Legs that each ended in vicious claws. She had the requisite long neck, befanged jaws and massive folded wings too.

‘Hi,’ said Ursula. ‘Let me just give the kettle a quick boost.’ So saying, she extended her neck toward a large cauldron that was set on a metallic tripod above an unlit fire pit. She opened her mouth wide and casually blew a gust of flame at it, causing the water within to come to the boil immediately.

‘Are you a tea or a coffee person?’ she asked Bian.

‘Fifteen to twenty feet tall,’ said Bian, ignoring Ursula’s small talk.

‘I believe that’s what you were looking for,’ replied Ursula. She climbed up off her cushion and stood to her full height. ‘Seventeen and a half feet, not including wingspan. It doesn’t pay to fib on your profile. Although, to be honest, you’re a little shorter than I was expecting.’

‘And you’re a bit more dragon than I was expecting.’

The crest on Ursula’s head spiked up. ‘Hang on, why are you getting shirty with me? I’m not the one who claimed to be something I’m not.’

‘I am twenty feet tall,’ protested Bian. ‘I mean, obviously not right now, but I am. You never said you were a dragon.’

‘That’s because I’m not a dragon. This is just a convenient form for my job.’

‘Your job? You are a supervillain, aren’t you?’

Ursula let out a derogatory puff of smoke. ‘What does that even mean? No, I’m a cross-planar marshal on secondment to your dimension.’

‘A what-the-what now?’

Ursula explained. How there had been too many cross-dimensional shenanigans in the superhero world and that after several disastrous breaches of the planar barrier in other parallels a committee had been formed with a view to proactively preventing any more from happening. Agents, designated as marshals, were assigned to each dimension to monitor any potential threat to omniversal balance. Under the Verse-Wyrm programme they were subjected to a guided mutation that allowed them to transform into a form suitable for cross-dimensional travel: scales for protection, wings to ride out the currents of the inter-planar vortex and an elemental means of defending themselves. A monitoring station – this cave – was set up for Ursula, but in the 15 years she’d been here, no-one – be they mad scientist or heroic explorer with an insatiable curiosity – had been in the slightest bit interested in breaking into another dimension.

Which had made life very boring. Ursula had got by on deliveries and the occasional robot drone sent into town, but even though she was quite the introvert she had begun to want for company. And that’s where the dating app had come in.

‘You’re the first person I’d hit it off with,’ admitted Ursula. ‘Look, I know this is all a bit much, but the intent was genuine. Please stay. I’d like to get to know you better.’

Bian sighed. ‘And I’d like to get to know you. It’s just – look, I’ll just be honest about it – I was hoping if everything went well we might, y’know, get a little closer. That’s going to be a bit tricky with all the fangs and claws and what-have-you.’

‘That isn’t a problem, ‘ insisted Ursula. ‘I can always revert to my humanoid form.’

Bian sighed again. ‘You have a humanoid form? I’m not being funny, but maybe that would have been the best option if you were going to meet an earthling on a blind date.’

‘I prefer this form,’ protested Ursula. ‘Besides, I didn’t think you were going to be so keen to ‘get it on’ so soon.’

Bian blushed. She hadn’t really intended to be so forward. She was mildly surprised herself to discover she’d had an ulterior motive all along.

‘I’m sorry. You don’t have to change if you don’t want to. Let’s start again. I’ll have a tea if that’s still on offer.’

Ursula held up a claw. ‘No, it’s ok. I don’t mind my other body. Maybe that would be a better way to start things off. Just give me a moment.’

The crest on Ursula’s head rose again, slower this time and more deliberate. She closed her eyes and her wings unfurled, filling the cavern of the Living Chamber. Bian marvelled at how the extended scales shimmered in the dim light before realising that it was the scales themselves that were glowing. A faint fluorescence that was getting brighter and brighter. Soon, Bian had to cover her eyes as Ursula’s body was enveloped in blinding light. She could just make out Ursula’s outline blurring and rearranging as she squinted between her fingers at the pulsating display. After a few seconds the brilliance faded away, leaving spots before Bian’s eyes. When at last she could focus again she was confronted with a very different Ursula. There were still scales, though these were finer, looking less like armour and more like the smooth skin of a snake. Gone were the wings and the claws and in their place stood a near-human shape: two arms, two legs, a hairless head containing a smiling face with angular but recognisably friendly features. Ursula’s powerful, stocky body was naked, but it was the nudity of the locker room rather than the bedroom. That of someone who had just changed.

And she was seventeen and a half feet tall.

‘Did I mention I was from another dimension? Literally,’ said Ursula. ‘Everything is bigger where I come from. I mean, really, it’s that everything is smaller here.’ She looked down at Bian. ‘But not everything has to be. Am I right?’

Bian had shrunk enough times not to be too fazed by only coming up to someone’s ankle in height. It had been quite the show, but she picked up on her cue and prepared to play her part. All it would need is a gentle expansion and soon she would…

She would what? Certainly not grow to giant size. She was willing her body to increase in height but nothing was happening. She was trained to react in combat situations and alter her size with barely a conscious thought. But there was something about this situation – surprise? Embarrassment? - that made her forget what to do, like suddenly becoming aware of your breathing and tripping over how to take in air. Did she arch her back when she grew? No, that wasn’t working. Neither was picturing herself getting taller and taller in her mind’s eye. Reaching up didn’t seem to be helping either.

‘I may have been a little bit too subtle there, but I was rather hoping you’d take that as an invitation to come up to my size.’ Ursula reached down and took Bian’s tiny hand in her enormous one. A tingle ran up and down Bian’s spine. Their first touch. In that moment it became obvious what she was supposed to do.

She took her hand from Ursula’s and let it fall to her side. There was no need to stretch. All that was needed was a slight flex… Just there…

The tingle in her spine increased as it began to elongate. Shifting the weight on the balls of her feet caused a shift in her centre of gravity that corrected itself as her thighs tensed and coaxed extra inches out of her legs. Slowly, a swing of her hips added another foot in height. Evenly, a dip of a shoulder encouraged her further upward. Swaying to her own music, Bian looked up, now just passing Ursula’s eyeline before regaining it again by halting her growth and falling back on to her heels. They smiled at each other and they kissed, gentle and welcoming.

‘I think the tea is going to get cold,’ said Ursula.