“Good evening, all you bored home shoppers out there!” a cheery voice chirped from Shirley’s television.

Annoyed by the advertisement, Shirley raised her remote to change the channel.

“I’m here today to showcase the latest new technology from Bodies Inc., the face!” the salesgirl pitched. As she said ‘face’, her face suddenly vanished from the front of her head.

Shirley nearly dropped her remote. Instead of the cheery, way too fake grin, the salesgirl’s face was now flat, devoid of any facial features, and colored a pleasing blue monotone, not unlike that of a computer screen. A logo came into view on her face.

[F.A.C.E. – by Bodies Inc.]

The company’s watermark faded out, as the acronym expanded. “Facial Attribute Customizer - Electronic?” Shirley read out loud, confused.

At the bottom of the salesgirl’s face, near her chin, the blue screen turned back into the pinkish skin of the salesgirl, and her mouth reappeared, albeit far lower than it should have been. “That’s right, folks. The long-awaited F.A.C.E. terminal is here!”

Shirley put her remote down. Her eyes darted to the number on the screen, and she picked up her phone, grinning.

---

“I’m sorry, run that by me again? You bought a… face?” Kay asked, confused.

“No, not a face, a F.A.C.E.. It’s an acronym.” Shirley explained, frustrated.

“Uh… huh. Is this another impulse buy?” Kay frowned.

“Well… yes, but…”

Shirley was interrupted by Kay’s groan. “Why do you do this? I know you have a lot of money, but surely you have better things to buy than yet another pair of shoes or a purse or…”

Kay trailed off, her jaw simply hanging open as she stared at Shirley’s face. Or where her face used to be. Instead of her face, there was simply a picture of someone’s hand flipping the bird. Kay rubbed her eyes, and continued staring. Shirley’s face was completely flattened, and a little reflective… like a screen. Her eyes flicked up to a Google search bar lining the top of Shirley’s forehead.

“…What. The. Fuck.”

Shirley’s head wobbled up and down a little, as if though she were laughing. She realized no sound was coming out, and stopped. The image on her face vanished, replaced with pink skin. Her face returned, features rising out of the flat plane on the front of her head. “Sorry, I’m not too used to this yet myself. I forget that I need to actually have a mouth to talk.”

“…how do you forget something like that?” Kay muttered, still in shock.

“Well, it’s not something you usually think about, is it?” Shirley rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry for not being used to being able to close and open my face at will.”

“So… your… face is… what, a smartphone, now?”

“More like a tablet.” Shirley corrected her friend.

“What’s the difference nowadays anyway.” Kay shrugged.

“Yeah.” Shirley giggled.

“So you can Google for images… and display them on your face? Sounds super handy.” Kay said, sarcastically.

“Hey, my face can do way more than that!” Shirley frowned. “Watch.”

Kay watched in fascination as Shirley’s facial features flattened out and disappeared into her face, and it faded into a black screen. A familiar red box with a white arrow in it appeared on it. “No way.” She giggled as a video started playing on her friend’s face.

“Double rainbow, what does it mean??”

“You couldn’t have picked a more recent video?” Kay giggled.

Shirley shook her head, apparently unable to respond. Kay raised an eyebrow. “Wait, you can’t talk without a mouth, but you can play the audio?”

Shirley shrugged. The video screen flipped off, and Shirley’s face returned. “Um… I dunno. The audio sorta plays through my mouth, so I can’t talk while it’s going on.”

“But you didn’t have a mouth at all.”

“Oh. The video app just hides my mouth, but it’s still there.” Shirley explained.

“Ah. Wait, app? Like… a tablet.”

“Yeah. My face really is like a tablet now.” Shirley giggled. “So I have my face app open now.”

“Your face… is an app.” Kay said, trying to wrap her head around the idea.

“Yep! With it open, I look just like normal, right?” Shirley giggled, cheerily. “It’s fully interactive, too.”

“Interactive? Like, I can touch it?” Kay reached her hand out to Shirley’s face. “Oh. It… feels just like your skin. Except… smoother.”

“Well, yeah. The F.A.C.E. interactive surface can emulate nearly any texture. It can also bend and reshape, which is how it shows my face, or flattens out for a video.” Shirley explained. “I can also still feel from it as if it were my skin. And I have an internet connection, obviously. There’s a lot of science… I don’t understand any of it. The tech installing it tried to explain it to me, but it just went right over my head. But anyway, it’s also a touchscreen!”

“Seriously?” Kay poked Shirley’s nose.

“Not like that.” Shirley frowned. “Here, I’ll bring up my app page.” Her face flattened out and vanished, only to bring up a very smartphone-like page filled with app icons.

“Whoah. You weren’t kidding.” Kay flicked her finger across Shirley’s face to scroll through the list. Her face now felt like a standard phone touchscreen, too. “You have quite a few apps.”

Unable to properly reply, Shirley simply nodded her head in response. Kay found the “Face” app, and tapped it. Shirley’s face returned to existence. “Cool.” Kay giggled.

“Right? Still think this was a dumb impulse buy?” Shirley grinned.

“Well… I mean. It’s cool, but it seems like kind of a luxury… is it actually useful?” Kay frowned.

“Uh… I mean…” Shirley hesitated.

Kay sighed. “If you really want to waste money you could just buy me actually useful stuff, you know.”

“I could buy you a F.A.C.E. too, if you want! They can interface with each other, apparently. Whatever that means.” Shirley said excitedly.

“I said USEFUL.” Kay rolled her eyes.

“Aww.” Shirley pouted. Her face soon lit up again though. “But back to the whole touchscreen thing. The face app also uses it!”

“How?” Kay asked, curiously.

“Try touching a part of my face.” Shirley grinned.

Kay reached a finger out, and poked Shirley’s nose. “Like this?”

“Yeah, sure.  Now, drag my nose.”

“Drag…? Like this?” Kay frowned, as she pulled her finger to the right. Her eyes widened in surprise as Shirley’s nose followed her finger.

Kay screeched and immediately drew back her finger, leaving Shirley’s nose crooked, and situated on the side of her cheek. Shirley howled in laughter.

When the pair finally caught their breath, Kay exhaled heavily. “What the fuck, Shirley.”

“Right?” Shirley giggled. “It freaked me out the first time, too.” Shirley nudged her nose back into place in the center of her face.

“That was… wow.” Kay seemed to have finally recovered. She studied Shirley’s face again. “Can I…”

“Go ahead.” Shirley laughed, even as Kay poked her face.

Kay spent the next five minutes dragging bits of Shirley’s face around, the both of them giggling the entire time.

“This is a fun feature. I get to rearrange your stupid face.” Kay teased.

“Hey, my face is literally smarter than yours now.” Shirley pouted. Kay couldn’t help but giggle as she literally turned Shirley’s frown upside-down.

“Isn’t this… disorienting?” Kay asked, as she pulled one of Shirley’s eyes to the opposite side of her face.

“Surprisingly, no. I think the app handles the feedback for me.” Shirley explained. “Stop for a minute, so I can show you the ‘screensaver’.”

“…screensaver?” Kay tilted her head to the side.

“Yeah, wait, let me reset my face first.” Shirley giggled. Her facial features faded into her ‘skin’, and returned in their normal positions. “Aaaand on.”

Kay stared for a moment, but nothing happened. “Um…”

“Give it some time.” Shirley smiled.

Kay checked her watch, then looked back up at Shirley’s face. Something seemed off. “Is your face… drifting apart?”

“Yup.” Shirley giggled, as her facial features slowly started sliding across her face of their own volition. “You know those old computer screensavers with the random objects bouncing around the screen?”

“Ohh, I get it!” Kay giggled, watching as one of Shirley’s eyes ‘bounced’ off the top of her head and started drifting downwards instead. It collided with her mouth, and they both bounced off each other in different directions.

“Oh, hey, I found another feature of the screensaver.” Shirley said excitedly. “Lemme turn it on.”

Kay stared at Shirley’s face in eager anticipation. As her mouth bumped against the edge of her face, it suddenly turned into an eye. “Whoa! Wasn’t expecting that.” Kay murmured.

Shirley gave a thumbs up. It seemed whenever one of her facial features bounced off the edge, it morphed into a random other part of her face before continuing on its’ new trajectory. Shirley’s face was in absolute chaos.

“What good is the screensaver, anyway?” Kay frowned. “Can you face actually get screen burn?”

“I doubt it.” Shirley giggled. “Probably just a goof some bored programmer decided to-“ she was cut off as her mouth turned into a nose, leaving her without any way to talk.

Kay giggled. “I guess it’s pretty funny. I like you not being able to talk.” She stuck her tongue out at Shirley.

Shirley’s mouth came back as she lost an eye. “Ha ha.” Yet she couldn’t help but giggle too.

“You got any games on there?” Kay asked, eagerly.

“Uh… you can check. Open up the app list.” Shirley suggested.

“I can do that? I figured you’d have to do it yourself.”

“There’s a tiny touch receptor below my chin. Touch your finger to it for a bit.” Shirley said.

Kay raised her index finger to it. “Nothing’s happening.”

“It’s scanning your fingerprint to register you as an authorized user.” Shirley giggled.

“An authorized user. Of your face.” Kay tried very hard not to laugh.

“Yup. I can’t have just anyone messing with my face, obviously. It’s for security.” Shirley explained. “Okay, now, if you tap the same spot with your index finger, it should close my face app and bring up the app screen.”

Kay tapped the bottom of Shirley’s chin, and laughed as Shirley’s face disappeared, and the app list popped up. “This is great. Now I can shut you up whenever I want.”

Shirley folded her arms in defiance. Kay ignored the gesture, and scrolled through the list. “Face Asteroids? That sure sounds like a game.” She tapped the icon.

Shirley’s face was replaced with a starry background. At the very top of her forehead, her mouth appeared. “Hey there!” Shirley giggled.

“Oh, hi.” Kay laughed. “What is this game?”

“Asteroids, right? I’m guessing it’s just that game.” Shirley shrugged. “It’s still loading, apparently. Give it a bit.”

Kay tapped her foot impatiently. Suddenly, Shirley’s nose appeared in the middle of her face. Kay frowned. It was much smaller than normal, and it was totally flattened to the screen. “Is that your nose?”

“I think so. Maybe that’s the ship.” Shirley replied. “ROUND ONE.” She shouted, without prompting, in a voice that was definitely not hers. “Oh. Game’s starting.”

Kay’s eyes nearly popped out of her head as she saw a tiny image of Shirley’s eye fly out from the corner of the screen. It drifted slowly across Shirley’s face.

“Shoot it!” Shirley giggled.

“Uh… how?” Kay frowned. She touched Shirley’s nose, and watched it move under her finger. “Oh. How do I shoot, then…?” Kay tapped on Shirley’s eye. Her nose fired a pixelated laser beam from its’ tip, aimed at the eye.

“Oh!” Kay said, in surprise. The laser missed the eye. “Aww.” Kay sadly watched Shirley’s eye drift out of the screen and vanish.

“You have to lead your shots.” Shirley chided.

“Right, right. I got this now.” Kay giggled, as two new eyes spawned on the sides of Shirley’s face. She grabbed hold of her nose, and began firing.

As a laser collided with an eye, it exploded into two new, smaller eyes.

“Whoah.” Shirley groaned. “That’s kinda trippy.”

“It didn’t hurt, did it?” Kay asked, suddenly concerned.

“No, of course not. I just wasn’t expecting my vision to segment like that.” Shirley laughed. “Keep playing!” she urged.

“Alright, then.” Kay grinned, preparing to pilot Shirley’s nose to victory.

About half an hour had passed by the time Kay finally slipped up and let Shirley’s nose collide with one of her eyes, causing it to explode and vanish.  “GAME OVER.” Shirley announced, apparently unwillingly. “NEW HIGH SCORE!”

Kay frowned at the arbitrary number flashing on Shirley’s face. “I don’t know if that’s good or not.” It prompted her for a name. Kay shrugged and scribbled her signature on Shirley’s face. It popped up next to her score in the Hall of Fame.

The app suddenly closed, and Shirley’s face came back. “That was fun.” She giggled. “I’ve never had someone play a game on my face before.”

“That was a first for me too.” Kay laughed. “My arms are kinda tired now, though.” She shook her arms. Holding her hands up to Shirley’s face for an extended period of time was apparently not very comfortable, especially since Shirely was slightly taller than her.

“Oh, I should’ve told you.” Shirley bit her lip, as she grabbed ahold of the sides of her head.

Kay stared in awe as Shirley lifted up, and her head came free of her neck. There was a plastic , skin-colored docking pad with a few metal conducts on the surface of her neck stump. Shirley grinned as she offered Kay her head.

“Yeah, this would’ve been much better.” Kay grumbled, accepting Shirley’s head in her hands. She stared at her friend’s detached head. “I assumed it was just your face that was modified.”

“It pretty much is just my face. Most of the rest of my head is intact. Plus, this way I don’t have to plug a wire into my forehead for recharging.” Shirley explained. “I can just set my head on the charging stand.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah, I have to charge my face.” Shirley laughed. “It’s a little inconvenient, but the techs said a full charge will last at least a full week, even with ‘frequent use’.”

“Frequent use?” Kay repeated. “It’s your face! How could you not use it frequently? And what happens if you can’t find a power outlet for a week?”

“There’s a power saver mode that runs off my body’s natural energy.” Shirley reassured her. “It only keeps the bare minimum face app features. Here, I’ll switch to it.”

Shirley’s face flattened out and sank into her head, leaving her faceless.

“…is that it?” Kay frowned, tapping Shirley’s blank face. “You just have no face?”

Shirley’s mouth reappeared. “No, see, it saves power by not having my whole face on all the time. I can still bring out bits that I need to.” Her lips faded away as soon as she stopped talking.

“I… see. But, wait… can you?”

“Sure.” One of Shirley’s eyes reappeared, as well as her mouth. “See, it just saves power to not load all of my face. Apparently as long as I keep this mode on and don’t use any other apps, I can keep my face app open even without recharging. The techs said I might be a little hungrier than usual though, since it’s using my body’s energy.”

“…wait, you can still eat?” Kay questioned, even as Shirley’s face vanished once more.

“Well, duh. My mouth still works like normal.” Shirley opened her mouth up. Kay peered down her throat. For all she could tell, it looked just like a regular human throat.

“That’s… whoah. I just assumed your face was… well. I dunno.”

“Yeah, I don’t really know how it works either.” Shirley shrugged. Her face came back as she switched off the power saver mode. “It also works even if you displace my mouth.”

Curious, Kay dragged Shirley’s mouth up to her forehead. Shirley happily opened her mouth again to demonstrate. “You weren’t kidding. How the hell does that work at all?”

“Like I said, no clue.” Shirley shrugged. “But the techs said I can only do that for one mouth at a time. If I have multiple mouths, none of them will work that way.”

“…interesting.” Kay frowned. “Can you just have multiple mouths?”

“Sure.” Shirley grinned. A mouth reappeared in its’ usual spot, but the mouth on her forehead didn’t disappear. Two more eyes blinked into existence below her originals. “I don’t even have to make them copies of my own facial features.”

Kay noticed that the new eyes were different colors than Shirley’s original eyes. “Whoah, that’s cool. Could you have my face?”

Shirley winked, and her face sank into her surface. Then, a new face reappeared. Kay’s jaw dropped. It was nearly identical to her own face. “Ta-da!” Shirley giggled, in Kay’s voice.

“That’s… awesome! A little creepy, but awesome.” Kay gasped. “You forgot my mole though, right here.” She poked Shirley’s face where the mole should be.

“Oh, right. Meh, too much effort.” Shirley frowned. “I have to design ‘new’ facial features from scratch with the built-in editor. I can’t just copy your face. I prepared this last night.” She giggled.

“Switch back to your face, this is creeping me out a little.” Kay frowned.

“Fine… oh, wait. Let me show you something else. Shake my head.” Shirley giggled.

“Huh?”

“Up and down, really quickly.” Shirley explained.

Kay acquiesced, and shook hard. To her surprise, her face was slowly erased from the front of Shirley’s head, leaving a blank canvas of skin. “Whoah, cool. Are you also an Etch-A-Sketch?” she giggled.

Shirley’s face reappeared, giggling. “Yeah, sorta. It only works with the face app. Though I think there’s an actual Etch-A-Sketch app too.” She plucked her head out of Kay’s hands. “And there’s another thing. It doesn’t have to be facial features, either.”

Kay stared in amazement as Shirley’s nose flattened out into her face, and a bellybutton took its’ place. Kay poked at it, and her finger even slipped in a little like she expected it to. “What the hell…? You have a bellybutton on your face.”

“Yep.” Shirley laughed. “And that’s not all I can put on my face, if you catch my drift.”

Realizing what she meant, Kay’s jaw dropped. “You mean…”

“Yes. On my face. Fully functional, too.” Shirley giggled, blushing a little.

“That’s… what the hell. That’s insane.” Kay bit her lip.

“Little bit. And no, you don’t get to see.”

Kay rolled her eyes. “I don’t want to see, anyway.” She reached up to Shirley’s neck and grabbed at it, grinning. “In fact, I don’t want to see anything on your stupid face.” She frowned. “Hey, uh… how do I take your head off?”

Shirley laughed, and guided her friend’s hands to the release catch on her neck. “Right here.”

Kay popped it open and lifted Shirley’s head off her neck. “Cool.” She grinned. She promptly shook Shirley’s head again, erasing her face. Shirley’s face reappeared, giggling.

“Having fun?”

“Sorta.” Kay stuck her tongue out, and began shaking her head again.

“Wai-“ Shirley tried to protest, before her mouth was wiped away. Her face reappeared again, frowning. “Hey, stop that.”

Kay simply grinned. Ignoring her protests, she shook her head again. Shirley’s body walked up and snatched her head out of Kay’s hands, reaffixing it to her neck. Her face came back. “If you keep abusing your privileges like that, I’ll take you off the registered users list.” She glared.

Kay was too busy laughing to care. “I’m sorry, it’s just too much fun!” she choked out in between giggles.

Shirley was forced to giggle too. “I guess it is. But seriously, if you do that too much…”

“Aww, but it’s fun to mess with you.” Kay pouted.

“Hmm… then, you can play with my face any time you want, with one condition.”

“What is it?” Kay grinned eagerly.

“You get a F.A.C.E. too.” Shirley proposed, grinning widely.

Kay hesitated. “…Um…”

“I’ll pay for it. Buuuut, I also get to play with your face whenever I want.”

“…It’s pretty hard to say no to that.” Kay smirked. “Alright, fine. Sign me up.”

“Yes!” Shirley cheered. She detached her head again, pressing it into Kay’s hands. “Here, you can fill out the paperwork on my face.” Shirley’s face flickered to the Bodies Inc. website, where she pulled up the application.

Kay sighed in mock exasperation, as she wrote her name on the digital form on Shirley’s face. “The things I do for you.” She giggled. “Where do I check the detachable head option?”