by R.K. Partain

Illustration by Tarsis

Originally published in Bondage Life No. 44, May 1991

Scanned and Transcribed by guardian46w

Story Codes:  M/f, bondage, consensual, ropes, gag, romantic, X

Editor's Note:  Love bondage sometimes changes things.  Shared experiences can make us understand each other better; communicated thoughts and feelings can improve our relationships.  R.  K.  Partain explores this subject in a speculative fantasy.

She:  Can it be done in three weeks?

He:  I don’t know.

She:  Let’s try.

The End of the First Week:

He:  Are the ropes too tight?

She:  No.

He:  Good.  Let me explain to you what we’re doing tonight.  This is the end of the first week and I want to know how you feel about some things.  I want you to answer each question as honestly as you can.  You don’t have to tell me what you think I want to hear, you have to tell me how you feel.  Okay?

She:  I’ll try.

He:  All right, let’s get started.  Does it bother you in any way that I’m recording this on video?

She:  No… not with this blindfold on it doesn’t.

He:  And how do you feel right now?  At this very moment?

She:  I’m a little uncomfortable.  We’ve never don this before.  But, I’m okay.

He:  I want you to describe your bondage to me.

She:  You mean right now?  The way I’m tied up right now?

He:  Yes.

She:  Well, I’m sitting in a chair and my hands are tied behind my back.  My ankles are tied together and so are my knees.  You put a blindfold over my eyes and until a little while ago I was gagged.

He:  And how were you gagged?

She:  A scarf was tied between my teeth and an elastic bandage was wound over that.

He:  Now when I first tied you up this evening, I asked you to do something.  Do you remember what it was?

She:  Yes.  You told me to think of nothing but my bondage.

He:  What did you think of?

She:  At first, I was a little scared because I couldn’t see.  I was glad that you stayed in the room with me.  After a few minutes, thought, I wasn’t frightened anymore.

He:  What were you feeling?

She:  I don’t know exactly.  It’s hard to put into words.  It wasn’t at all bad though.  It was different… kind of exciting, really.

He:  How long have we been married?

She:  Four years.

He:  And in that time, how many times would you say you’ve been tied up?

She:  Geez, I don’t know.  Hundreds, I guess.

He:  And of those hundreds of times, you’ve often been bound while sitting in a chair, haven’t you?

She:  Yes.

He:  So why was it different this time?

She:  Well, the honest answer is, I really don’t know yet.  A lot of things have happened this week and a lot of things are flying around in my mind still.  New things, things I haven’t been able to sort out yet.  Does this make any sense?

He:  I think so.  By the way, if you're not ready to answer something tonight, just say so and we’ll move on.  Let’s talk about some other things now.  I asked you to make up a name for me that you thought I would like.  Have you come up with one yet?

She:  Yes.

He:  Why are you grinning like that?

She:  If you don’t like it, say so, and I’ll think of another.  But I thought you might like the name of Gag-Master.

He:  I like it.  How did you come up with that?

She:  Well, I took your favorite word, gag, and I see you as my teacher now, but Gag-Teacher wouldn’t work, so I used the old word Master instead.

He:  We’ll keep it.

She:  As you wish, Gag-Master.

He:  Yes, that will do just fine.

She:  Are you smiling?

He:  Yes.

She:  I’m glad.

He:  When we started this project last Monday, I tried to explain to you what it was about, but I really wasn’t able to put it into words either.  And I told you that I thought that perhaps actions… my actions, would make it easier to understand.  Have you been able to grasp some of this yet?

She:  I understand more now than I did.  But I don’t think I have it all yet.  What I do think I understand is that you want to try to bring us even closer together than we are now, and you want bondage to be a big part of that.

He:  tell me something.  Before we started this… say, last year or so, how did you really feel about our bondage?

She:  it never really bothered me.  I knew you liked it and sometimes I did too.  But there were times when I… well, I...

He:  Go on.

She:  it’s just that sometimes I thought the bondage was more important to you than I was.

He:  What do you mean?

She:  well, there were times when I wondered if it was me who was turning you on, or the ropes.  It’s like… it’s like… it’s like really hard to explain, that’s what it’s like.  I don’t know, maybe I was just feeling insecure about myself.

He:  You said ‘was’.

She:  I’ve noticed some things this week that have made me look at this in a different way.

He:  What did you like most about this week?

She:  I liked ‘my night’ a lot.  It’s been a long time since I’ve been pampered like that.  I mean, you cooked dinner, gave me a hot bath, brushed my hair and massaged my back.  It was wonderful.  And when we made love that night, you gave me the option of having bondage or not.  That meant a lot to me.

He:  And what did you choose?

She:  No bondage.

He:  Why?

She:  I just wanted it that way.

He:  What else did you like about last week.

She:  I was really pleased that you took over the laundry chores.

He:  why’s that?  You hate doing laundry that much?

She:  No, it’s not that.  It’s just that sometimes when I get home from work it seems that there’s so much more to do around the house that I never have any time for myself or us.

He:  Why do you think I took that chore?

She:  At first, I thought you were doing it so that you’d have more time for your new bondage ideas.  But as the week went on, I saw you were doing it simply to help me out.

He:  How did that make you feel?

She:  It made me feel good.

He:  What did you think about the video we watched?

She:  That Dave Edwards video?

He:  Jay Edwards.

She:  Oh yeah, Jay, right.  That’s a nice name.  well, I thought that he was very good at tying those women up.  But to be honest with you, I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of bondage yet.  I mean physically ready.  But I’ll make a deal with you.  I’ll try to get in shape for it if you promise to take it easy on me till I do.

He:  That sounds like a good deal to me.  I think that’s enough for tonight.  We’ll do this again next Friday night, okay?

She:  Okay.

The End of the Second Week:

He:  Are the ropes too tight?

She:  No, Gag-Master.  As a matter of fact, the one around my ankles seems loose.  Maybe you should tighten it some.

He:  okay.  How about the blindfold?  Is it tight enough?

She:  It’s fine.

He:  Will the camera bother you?

She:  No.

He:  Good.  While I re-tie your ankles, you can describe your bondage.

She:  Well, Gag-Master, I’m blindfolded again and I’m sitting cross-legged on the floor.  My hands are tied behind my back and my Gag-Master is tying my ankles together right now.  There’s also a thin little rope tied around my waist and it runs up through my… well, you know.

He:  Tell me.

She:  You know… my crotch.

He:  How does that one feel?

She:  Sometimes it tickles, every now and then it’s uncomfortable, but mostly it feels pretty good.

He:  And what are you wearing right now?

She:  Nothing.

He:  Does that bother you?

She:  No.

He:  Have you enjoyed this past week:

She:  Yes, Gag-Master, very much.

He:  Why is that?

She:  Because you have never been more loving and tender than you have been these last couple of weeks.

He:  And why do you think I've been so loving and tender?

She:  Because you're happy and because you love me.

He:  Are you happy?

She:  Very much.

He:  And why do you think I’m so happy?

She:  I think it’s because you're finally being able to be the man… the person… that you really are.  You see, I used to think of you and your bondage as two different things.  Two separate realities.  And now I’m slowly starting to see that your bondage is really a part of you.  And maybe if I give it the freedom that it needs to grow, then you, as my husband, lover and friend, will have the freedom you need in order to grow.  And I must admit that during these last couple of weeks you’ve been the kind of husband that most women can only dream about.

He:  Well, thank you.  And why are you so happy?

She:  a lot of it, I suppose, is because I feel so much closer to you now.  I feel as if I’m really beginning to know you and I like the you that I’m finding.

He:  If you had a magic wand or something and you could wave it and make my desire for bondage go away, would you use it?

She:  No, never.

He:  Why not?

She:  Bondage is so much a part of you that to take it away would take some of you away.  I think it is kind of like a glass filled with water.  If you pour out the water you're left with an empty glass.  If I poured out your bondage, I might be left with an empty man.  And I wouldn’t want to risk that.  I love you the way you are now, but I also love the man you're becoming.

He:  What about you?  How do you feel about the woman that you're becoming?  Considering that most of these changes were brought about at my bidding?

She:  I’m happier now than I have been for a long time.  And I’m not just saying that to please you.  I've always wanted to be close to you, but I was afraid to enter your world completely.  I didn’t know what to expect so I just hung out there on the fringes.  I’m glad we’re doing this.  It gets lonely on the fringes.

He:  I’m sure it does.  I know it does.  Let’s lighten it up a bit.  I want you to de a little experiment with me.  I want you to visualize, as quickly as possible, yourself in a bondage position and then tell me what it is, okay?  What is it?

She:  Oh no, I don’t want to tell you.  It’s embarrassing.

He:  Come on, tell me.  If you don’t, you'll have to stand in a corner till you do.

She:  I will not! When did you make that rule?

He:  Just now.

She:  I suppose you’d have to tie me up and gag me while I was standing there?

He:  Of course.

She:  Well, in that case, I’ll tell you.  But you better not laugh.

He:  I won’t.

She:  Promise?

He:  I promise.

She:  I’m lying on the bed with nothing on.  My hands are tied to the top of the bed and my feet are tied, spread eagle to the bottom of the bed.  I’m gagged, too.

He:  So where am I at?

She:  Well, you're… you know… down there.

He:  And what am I doing down there?

She:  Licking me and kissing me.

He:  How does that feel?

She:  Good.

He:  You know, we’ve done that before.  Why haven’t you asked me to do it more often?

She:  Embarrassed, I guess.

He:  Well, I don’t want you to be embarrassed about it anymore.  You say the word and you can have your fantasies also.  That’s what some of this is about… sharing.  Okay?

She:  Yes, Gag-Master.

He:  I do like that name.  okay, now I want you to think of a position that you think I would like to see you in.

She:  Oh, that’s easy.  You’d want me to lay on my stomach so you could tie my hands behind my back.  You’d tie my ankles and then you’d tie my ankles to my wrists.  And you’d gag me really good and if you were feeling frisky, you’d probably tickle my feet.

He:  Well, that does it for me.  I’m ready to make love.  What say I turn this camera off and we go to bed?  We’ll continue next week.  Any questions”

She:  Why turn off the camera?

The End of the Third Week:

She:  No, Gag-Master, they’re fine.

He:  Are you sure you don’t want the blindfold on?

She:  I’m sure.

He:  Why no blindfold tonight?

She:  I don’t need it now.

He:  What do you mean?

She:  When we first started this, I needed it.  I think I was hiding behind it.  I don’t need to do that anymore.

He:  What about the camera?

She:  Leave it on.

He:  What are you wearing tonight?

She:  Seamed stockings.  Nothing else.

He:  Tell me about your bondage.

She:  I’m lying on the bed.  My feet and knees are tied and my hands are tied in front of me and secured to the rope around my knees.  My crotch-rope is on again.  Later, I want you to gag me and I want to spend the rest of the night like this.

He:  Whose idea was this position?

She:  Mine, Gag-Master.

He:  How long have you been tied like this?

She:  For almost an hour.

He:  Do you want me to untie you now?

She:  No, Gag-Master.

He:  Did you have to stand in the corner this week?

She:  Yes.

He:  Why?

She:  Because you asked me to fondle my breasts and I didn’t do it right.

He:  did you think that was fair?

She:  Yes.

He:  Why?

She:  I knew what you wanted me to do.

He:  So, you knew, yet you disobeyed anyway.  Why would you do that?

She:  Because I wanted to see if you would do what you said you would do… and I wanted to feel the ropes around me.

He:  You could have just asked.  I would have been more than happy to oblige you.

She:  I didn’t want to be followed.  I wanted to be led.

He:  And did you learn anything while you were standing in the corner.

She:  I learned that it’s easier to be loved if you allow yourself to be loved.  And I also learned that you weren’t kidding about putting me in a corner.

He:  Did it make you feel humiliated in any way?

She:  No.

He:  Good.  It’s not supposed to do that.  What did it feel like?

She:  I felt loved.  You may not understand this, but your ropes don’t feel cold and harsh anymore.  They feel like extensions of your arms.  I like being embraced by them and by you.  Being in the corner felt like a long embrace… I almost miss it.

He:  During this last week, especially, you’ve spent a lot of time in bondage.  Did you feel then, or do you feel now, that because of it you had lost some part of your freedom?

She:  It’s hard to explain.  So much of this is emotional that it’s difficult to reduce it to words.  But, when I’m wearing a gag, I don’t have to worry about saying the right thing; when my feet are tied, I don’t have to worry about being in the right place, and when my hands are tied, I don’t have to worry about doing the right things.  To be perfectly honest with you, I’ve never felt freer in my life.

He:  And this new-found freedom, what has it cost you?

She:  A month ago I might have said it cost me my dignity, but that would not be true.  I might have said that it cost me my freedom of expression, but that’s not true either.  I guess that what it has cost me is my old attitudes, about bondage and you, and myself.

He:  Do you miss those old attitudes?

She:  No.  I wish we had done this sooner.  I hate to think of the time that we’ve wasted.

He:  Perhaps we shouldn’t think of it as wasted time.  Let’s think of it as a maturing process.  If we’d tried this before we were both ready, we might have ended up hurting each other instead of loving each other more.

She:  Do you really love me more?

He:  Without a doubt.  You have become the single most important thing in my life and I will always cherish you.  Believe that.

She:  I do.