by grapehyacinth

“OH MY GOD! I'M GETTING HAIRY!”

Yes, that was my sister Jane's first announcement of the morning. Situated at the top of the stairs, she swung her arms proudly in the air. “Look at me! I'm changing!” she cried merrily.

I couldn't see a thing with her being so far away, but I wasn't too interested anyway. My younger sister was going to turn into a wolf tonight, and I wanted no part of it.

The rest of my family, however, was a different matter. My mother jumped up and clasped Aunt Becky tightly. (We called her aunt because she was so close to us, but really she was Mom's first cousin.) Becky, her husband Mark, and my younger cousins had slept over last night, and the rest of my family would be by this evening to celebrate Jane's first transformation. I wanted to go to my friend's house so I wouldn't have to deal with any of the festivities, but Mom forced me to stay. “Just because you didn't accept the curse doesn't mean you can't be happy for your sister,” she had scolded.

Strangely enough, seeing the tears of happiness in everyone's eyes made something stir within me. For long ago, a wizard named Simon had cursed our family to change into wolves on the full moon. Yes, it sounds ludicrous and cliched like the bad horror films I loved to watch with Jane. But this curse was quite real, and when I learned of it, I was horrified and disgusted.

Jane embraced it with open arms, and she chattered about it almost daily.

“Her first change! I'm so happy you decided to take the curse, Jane.” Mom didn't look at me when she spoke. When she was young, she had helped the wolves, which broke the curse. After this, Simon gave her and her descendants the option to keep this ability if they chose.

Despite Mom's stories of how wonderful being a wolf was, it scared me to no end. She'd even shown us, to change my mind, but seeing her as an animal and understanding I'd get the instincts to go with it... well, I just couldn't do it. I hated losing control, and, with my mother's okay, I declined.

But now, I watched my family receive Jane as she descended the stairs like a queen. No one was paying attention to twenty-two-year-old me because I was nothing special. I was a nerdy, plain brunette who hadn't had a boyfriend longer for a month. Blonde-haired, athletic Jane was every boy's dream, although she was very picky about who she'd go out with. Yet with all that, she'd never been anything but loving and friendly to me, and I never felt a spark of jealousy towards her.

“It's funny,” my Mom was saying to Aunt Becky, “when I started, I was in such denial that I kept shaving off my fur and trying to hide the changes – can you imagine?”

Aunt Becky chuckled. “Yes, well, I only went to my prom on the night of my first change, remember?”

Uncle Mark placed his hand around her shoulders. “That's the night I saw her, and she was so beautiful–”

Aunt Becky grinned. “Wolf or human form?”

“Both!” he exclaimed, planting a kiss on his wife's face.

“I can't believe anyone would want to cover it up!” shrieked Jane. “That's insane, Mom! I want to show the world!” She made her now-pointed ear move, which sent her into hysterics. “Oh my God! I've never moved my ears in my life!”

But Mom shushed her, grabbing her by the arm. “You remember never to tell a soul, you hear me? Even today, there are plenty of people out there who would like to see us dead!”

Jane took all of two seconds to apologize. Then she went back into crazy mode. “I better call Agatha soon before I can't... oh, but first, let me eat. I'm getting so hungry!”

I thought when this day would come, I'd see Jane suffering and be glad of my choice. But she seemed to be having a ball. A while after she ate, I caught her gazing at herself in the bathroom mirror. With one shaking finger, she held back her lip to display an elongated canine, which she ran her nail over repeatedly.

I walked past, hoping she hadn't seen me. I really didn't want to talk to her.

The day went on, and in between Jane's squeals of “I have claws” and “My tail's coming in”, I helped Mom and Aunt Becky get ready for the party. I'd seen Mom transform many times, so Jane's changes weren't that strange to me – except they were so gradual, and, well, they were Jane.

“So, Leia, what's it like seeing your little sister transform?” Aunt Becky asked conversationally, while setting out napkins.

“Depressing,” I replied. I meant it too. As Jane grew more animal-like, in a peculiar way, I felt I was losing her. She was going to join something far beyond my everyday existence.

Mom came over and put her hands on my shoulders. “There's nothing wrong with the choice Leia made, Becky.”

Aunt Becky nodded. “Yes, yes...” And then she practically attacked Jane, holding up her pointy, furry ears. “Rachel, look!”

Jane giggled. “I love changing! I feel great!”

Mom went over and stroked the soft gray-white fur on her daughter's arms. “She's getting a lovely coat. Oh, Jane! You're becoming beautiful!”

The three embraced, very blatantly excluding me.

“I feel so wonderful. I'm so glad I'm part of this...” Jane began, and all of them glanced at me. Even Mom did.

I sighed and walked off.

Jane lay in the office chair, on the phone with her friend. Even though she was still half-human, she curled up like a wolf, the phone resting on her furry shoulder. Her voice sounded alien; it was squeakier and rough, like her very voice box was shifting. And obviously, her friend noticed.

“My voice doesn't sound different, Agatha!” she shrieked into the phone.

Could have fooled me, I wanted to answer her back.

“It does sound weird?” she then asked into the phone, rather unconvincingly.

“Well, I'm... hoarse, see? I was yelling, and...well, my throat is almost sore...I think I'm getting sick...” The last word turned into a near-growl at the end, and I covered my mouth and ran past so she wouldn't see me laughing at her transformation issues.

Sprinting through the hallway, I found a pair of Jane's socks tossed against the wall. Curious, I fished one up to see it ripped in several places in the toe box.

“Her claws ripped through her socks,” I said aloud, immediately sobered. “Just popped straight through.” ...As if it needed to be pointed out to the empty hallway.

The first person to show up was Simon, which was to be expected. Mom had hung around with the five-hundred-year-old wizard ever since she'd broken the curse. He often worked with her on learning the magical arts, and she had grown surprisingly powerful. Because of all this, my father had divorced her when I was younger. Although it was never actually mentioned, I think he was afraid of her.

“Hello, Leia,” Simon said pleasantly. “Are you excited for your sister?”

His eyes twinkled as he spoke, which irritated me. A lot.

“Not really. Why anyone would want to be an animal is beyond me.”

“Is it really that hard to understand?” he smirked. “The call of the wild, the pull of the earth–”

I sighed. I wished I could tell him about the fight that was going on inside of me. The idea of being an animal was still scary to me, but to everyone else, it seemed so marvelous and momentous. I'd never seen my sister happier in her life.

Simon took my hand. “Sh! Want to see something funny?”

I raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Come.” He led me to the hallway where I could just see Jane around the corner. She was in the office, clumsily trying to walk on her new paws. Her legs were completely wolf-like, and thus, she kept falling to all fours. But her arms weren't quite legs yet, so she bounded back up to an awkward upward position.

Simon chuckled. “Ah, the change is a well-deserved happiness,” he commented.

I snorted.

“Freedom. You gain pure, unadulterated freedom.”

“Freedom? Look how hairy she's gotten. I'd hardly call that freedom,” I scoffed.

By then, Jane had noticed us. She barreled towards Simon and threw herself into his arms.

“Look at me, Simon! I'm all...tingly and strong...and...I'm almost there! Look at my muzzle forming!”

Dotingly, he smiled down at the odd half-canine. “Yes. You're going to lose your speech soon.”

“I can't wait!”

Grandma Lena came in next. She had recently lost her husband, Grandpa Tim, which was a big blow to us all. Grandpa Tim's father came from an old family who knew about us and was out to rid the world of us all. Grandpa Tim, however, was fascinated by Grandma Lena and what she could do. When his father and several of his family members went after her, Grandpa Tim had nearly killed his own relatives to save her. After he married her, his family never spoke to him again.

And not a single one of them had attended his funeral.

To this day, no one ever mentioned the family on Grandpa Tim's side. I looked them up on the computer, but what I found didn't matter. They were just empty names to me, nothing else.

Grandma Lena was very proud of the curse, and she had always made it known that I was missing out on something marvelous. She sat down on the couch in between Jane and me and stroked Jane's silky hair. “This will be all gone soon, Jane, and something far more wonderful will replace it.”

“My fur!” my sister shrieked, pulling up her sleeve to display it.

“Yes,” Grandma Lena chuckled, inspecting her granddaughter closely. Without looking at me, she uttered, “Are you following her changes, Leia?”

“Well, yes,” I said, taken aback. “But it's not like I've never seen it before. Mom changes for us all the time. She often runs with Simon at night.”

Grandma Lena raised an eyebrow. “And you don't want that?”

“To run with a five-hundred-year-old man? No.”

My grandmother grinned ruefully at this. “Ah, my Leia, it's far more than that.”

The rest of the clan poured in, and soon they were counting down the minutes to midnight. Most of them slowly changed as well, I guess to show Jane their support. I merely stood there uncomfortably and...remained a human being.

But seeing the familiar faces of my loved ones slowly become cloaked in fur and whiskers haunted me. They were dissolving away, drifting far from my reach. Cousin Sarah, who always used to play Chinese Checkers with me, was becoming svelte and muscular, her beautiful frosty tail twitching back and forth. Grandma Lena grew strong and fast in her wolf form, a far cry from her more elderly human shape. Uncle Mark was dark and dashing, looking ready to pounce and attack anything that moved. I think, out of all of us, he was still the most blown away by his transforming. He never stopped talking about how lucky he was that fate had steered him to Aunt Becky, treating him to a world so spectacular he could never have dreamed it himself.

When midnight struck, my perfect wolf-of-a-sister let out a triumphant howl, and the gathering of wolves surrounding me answered back. As they raced outside, a wolf I recognized as my mom poked her head back in.

“Leia!” She was so adept at changing she could even speak as a wolf. The action was disarming to this very day, I had to admit. “I forgot! Can you put out change-back clothes for Jane? Maybe some of those cheese crackers and a water bottle too. Thanks!” And she was gone.

And all that was left was me, piles of shed clothing, and Great-Uncle Charlie, who had fallen asleep on the couch.

I crept through the woods, my sister's first howl still reverberating in my soul. That one cry was the embodiment of such joy that I couldn't take it.

Why hadn't I accepted this curse?

My family's calls echoed through the night, and carrying a bag of Jane's clothes, I tried to follow them. Yet human-me was no match for their incredible speed and agility, and they soon left me far behind.

“Please wait for me, guys... Come back. I want to run too...” I whispered to the emptiness.

But their howls died off as the distance between us increased.

Trembling, I fingered the contents of Jane's backpack. I hadn't had to get anything for her as she'd actually prepared it the night before and promptly forgot about it in all the excitement. It contained a pair of shorts, flip-flops, a bra and panties, and a tongue-in-cheek T-shirt that one of the cousins had gotten her. I shook it out and stared at the watercolored wolf picture on the front.

“WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING”, it read.

I coughed and then angrily stuffed it back into her bag. “What a stupid shirt!” I uttered. “So...stupid!” I punched my hand into the clothing, crunching into several packages of the crackers that Jane liked so much.

“Good. I hope they all broke,” I said, holding back tears. Roughly, I placed the bag in a crevice behind an ancient oak. Mom kept extra supplies here for when she turned back. This time I could see a whole stash of bags: my whole family was all prepared for tomorrow's change-back.

Cousin Sarah's pink bag, Aunt Becky's little flowered tote, Cousin Mara's oversized purse, an assortment of plastic supermarket bags, and several other unidentifiable sacks all seemed to mock me, and my rage dipped back to sorrow. I felt worthless. There were no change-back clothes for someone who couldn't change.

My sister had become magnificent, while I had thrown it all away. My family was incredible, and I had turned my back on generations of magic.

What was wrong with me?

My sister couldn't stop speaking of how fantastic last night's experience was, and how she couldn't wait for the next month. “You never know freedom like this,” she tried to explain to me. “And the animal inside of you is so strong, and changing into it is like being let go from every care...” She gazed at me with pity. “I wish you would come with us, Leia. You have no idea what you're missing out on, and no matter how I try, the only way you could understand is to experience it.”

I looked away.

“Don't be silly,” she whispered. “Do it.”

When I had refused the curse, even though Mom seemed fine with it, Simon himself had looked on me sadly. Back then, I couldn't understand why. Who wanted to deal with such instability? But now, deep down, I realized that perhaps I had made a mistake.

In the next few days, Mom showed Jane the ropes, changing for her when requested. She informed her that once she got the hang of the “monthly change”, as Aunt Becky liked to call it, she would learn to transform whenever she liked.

Mom did gradual changes and then fast ones, explaining each step to my fascinated sister. I merely observed, jealous in every way. And no one said much to me about Jane's new identity – other than Jane, of course.

As the month went on, my indecision only got worse, and I wanted to talk to someone desperately. Yet I couldn't bear to admit to my family that I'd possibly made an error. I guess I didn't want to look stupid.

So, one late afternoon when I didn't have any grad school class, I found myself knocking on Simon's door. He lived in what could only be described as a hermit cabin, deep in the woods. I wondered if it were as old as he was.

He answered, not looking surprised in the least.

“Can I talk to you?” I muttered.

Simon smiled. He bowed, and motioned me to step in.

The cabin was surprisingly modern and quite clean. Perhaps he tidied up in his spare time. Or maybe he had little enchanted brooms that swept up after him. Who knew?

“So?” he said, settling into an armchair. I swear he looked like he was expecting me.

I sat down on a nearby velvet couch and leaned towards him. Simon was always around, but it was weird being alone with him. “Simon, I...” I let my voice trail off.

“You're not sure you made the right choice,” he said, silently clasping his hands together.

Apparently, being a wizard, he'd known this would happen. Could he read my mind?

“You know I was wrong...” I breathed, half-ready to cry. “You know it was a mistake to not accept the curse. Why didn't you stop me?”

“The whole idea I'd worked out with your mother was that her descendants and relatives would now have free choice. You weren't doomed to change at the full moon anymore; although it's hardly a bad thing in the long run.” He grinned, his eyes full of memories. “The point is, the decision was right for you at the time. I couldn't argue with you.”

“Right,” I said slowly, cracking my knuckles. “Right.”

He stood up resolutely. “I can still give it to you,” he offered, patting me on the shoulder. “Not forever, of course. You're young now; your body is able to take it. As you get older and weaker, your body might not be able to withstand the incredible amount of power and change that I need to pipe into you.”

I gulped. “So...there's a deadline?” I queried with concern.

“It's less risky the younger you are. When your Uncle Mark got engaged to Becky, and he requested the curse, I was worried. And he was about the same age as you.”

“But he was fine! He loved it!”

“Yes, because he was strong.”

I remained silent.

“You would never regret it. However, as you're learning, you would always be an outsider if you don't take it. And you might regret never running with your family, howling at the moon, joining in the hunt...”

“The hunt?” I cried, jumping up.

“Of course! Didn't Jane tell you about that at all?” he replied, looking a bit ruffled. “Wolves have to eat, too.”

This had never occurred to me. Mom and Aunt Becky and now my sister were out killing things?

“You eat meat as a person. Why is it any different?”

“I don't want to kill things! Oh, God! I don't know what to do!” I exclaimed, head-in-hands. I couldn't deal with any of this. I wished someone would just decide for me.

Simon took me around and I started to cry. “Why am I so scared of this, Simon? What is wrong with me?”

Suddenly I felt calmer, and I wondered if he'd quietly worked some kind of spell on me to shut me up. He regarded me in that grandfatherly way of his, and he pushed my hair away from my face.

“Deep down, you are deathly afraid of not being in control. It's the root of your fears, and you must conquer it. This is how.”

“By being a wolf?” I sniffled.

“Yes. And I'll show you it first.”

“How?” I yelped in alarm.

“You will see it through my eyes so you'll know you are safe.”

I didn't question anything. You just didn't question Simon. He nudged me back down into a chair and swept his hand across my face.

And suddenly I was running through the night in a perfect lupine body, my mind clear of everything but the joy of living. Through Simon's eyes, I could see other wolves running beside me, and I was serene and happy, for they were all my relatives. I belonged here.

And the nearest female that ran abreast of me turned to look my way. It was Mom, and I saw such deep love...

With a start, I was ripped from Simon's wolf consciousness and left back in the chair.

“Simon...” I breathed. “Oh...”

He smiled, reddening slightly. “How much of my feelings did you pick up from that memory?”

“From you?” I was slightly confused. Nothing but utter bliss came through from Simon, but that look in Mom's eyes...

“She...you...” I stuttered. I couldn't bring myself to say it to him, but was Mom actually in love with this ancient man? I couldn't fathom it, but it didn't matter right now. Only one thing did.

“Simon?”

“Yes?” he answered expectantly.

“Please curse me.”

In order to fulfill my wish, Simon took me home so my family could be with me. After Mom and Jane got a bit too loopy when I announced my decision, Simon told me to sit on the floor. I did, and without bothering to ask if I was having second thoughts, he clasped his hands down on both of my shoulders and started to mumble.

Simon's magic sent an electricity through me that was hard to describe. There was no pain; merely an ecstasy that seemed to make every one of my molecules vibrate with power. All I could do was curl into a ball and rock back and forth, speechless.

Mom and Jane looked both embarrassed and a bit jealous.

“It's that nice?” Jane ventured timidly.

“Quite pleasant,” said Simon, releasing me from his grasp. “Mark still talks about what it was like getting it to this very day.”

“I swear,” Jane whispered, “she almost looks like she's glowing.”

“She is,” Mom murmured. “You have no idea of the power she's being imbued with. Studying it and learning to understand it only makes me more amazed. Simon has given our family an incredible gift. This is a power of awakening, renewal, and deep change.”

She was quite right; the electricity was swirling through my very soul, waking parts of me that I never knew existed.

After a few blissful moments, I shakily pulled myself up. I felt different somehow; like my body was on a new frequency or something.

“Welcome,” Mom smiled, and we all embraced. Even Simon joined us.

The full moon could not come soon enough. I woke up that Saturday morning at four fifty-five to check for fur. Nothing yet, but I was definitely itchy. I became so uncomfortable that couldn't get back to sleep, so I finally rose at seven.

This time, there was something.

“Oh my God!” As excited as I was, a slight fear still lingered. Simon had shown me the end result of the curse, but the transformation is what worried me.

“It's like I'm just getting hairy arms – not too bad,” I reassured myself.

But my outburst woke Mom and Jane, and they came running. They exclaimed over my thin growth of fur like it was the best thing ever, and Mom commented that I'd be a perfectly silver wolf, from the looks of it.

“I'm just so itchy,” I murmured.

“Yeah,” Jane said, apparently now deeming herself an expert, “most of the starting changes are being really itchy and watching hair pop up on your chest and limbs. Really, the most awkward part is the fact that your whole body is just...itchy everywhere.”

“Yes. I couldn't sleep after a while with that going on,” I replied. It was surprising that, thin as my fur was, my body still itched like wildfire.

I rubbed my initial growth of fur against my face, wishing I could change instantaneously like Mom or Simon. Then the itchiness would stop. “I want to change NOW! What do I do to speed it up?”

“Fear,” Mom responded. “Lots of it.”

I wondered if my nervousness qualified as the appropriate type of fear.

“We have to watch horror movies! That'll do it!” Jane decided, and we were off.

Hour after hour, we remained glued to the TV, while keeping an eye on our changes. Jane and I transformed at pretty much the same pace in the beginning, which quelled some of my anxiety. Because even though I wanted this now, the whole not having control over my form still frightened me.

At one point, my chest was so itchy, that I pulled away the top of my shirt and stared down at it. The skin felt like it was about to pop. Then something gave way, and, keeping my astonished eyes glued to the spot, I could just make out the fur sprouting...

“Oh wow,” I breathed, letting my shirt fall back over it. That had been a bit too creepy for me. But Jane had seen, and she laughed.

“Yeah, seeing chest hair isn't always a good thing on a woman.” Through her thickening facial hair, I could just make out a slight blush. “You know,” she said sheepishly, “on the night of my first change, I was so excited, but also really freaked out. I tried to hide it, though – I didn't want anyone to know. I told Mom I wished you were changing with me, and she kept saying that both of our choices are fine. She's always sticking up for you. Personally, I just thought you were crazy to not want to be able to become a wolf.” She smiled apologetically.

“Mom's the one that had Simon alter the curse so there was a choice to make. That's why she was fine with my decision,” I explained yet again. “Simon said he wanted us to have free choice, like Mom had requested.”

“I do think Mom still secretly wished you'd change your mind.”

I squeezed Jane's furry hand. “Well, I did, and I'm here changing with you now.”

After some “Friday the 13th” movies and the original “The Shining”, I felt a tightness in my shoes.

“Why are you even wearing shoes?” Jane exclaimed, pointing at her own bare feet.

“You know I hate being barefoot ever since I stepped on glass,” I muttered. “All those anesthetic shots at the emergency room...and I couldn't walk on it...”

“That was ten years ago and there's no broken glass here! Take them off!” Jane insisted, pulling at my sneaker. “Your claws will ruin your socks. That made Mom really mad when it happened to me.”

“Yeah,” I snickered, “I saw them where you dumped them in the hall that night.”

She sighed. “That was so stupid of me. Of course Mom found them, and she gave me this whole lecture about not destroying my clothes when I transform. Although they mostly fall off of you when you shrink.”

“Oh, God. What's it like to shrink?” I gasped, thinking of this only now.

“It's fun,” Jane giggled, then quickly grew stern. “Now off with the footwear!”

When I removed my shoes and socks, the relief was instant. I looked down to see that my normally clean, trim toenails were now dark, thin, and pointed. “Don't your feet turn into paws before the nails change?”

“Nope. Nails go first. At least Mom's and mine do. You're getting the shadow of your paw pads, though. See mine?” She held up her foot, and I could see a darkness on the underside. Before I even looked at my own feet, a twinge in my palm alerted me to similar changes in my hands. And there I could actually feel the pads jutting out slightly.

I hugged my arms to my chest in nervous delight. A quick glance at my own feet established that there was definitely a shadow of paw pads on them as well.

“See? No pain! Only awesomeness!” Jane cried. “Now let's do more horror movies to make it go faster!”

I joined her, but I don't think the movies really helped. Most of the time I watched horror movies because they made me laugh. There was rarely any fear involved – except when we watched “The Fly”. That hit home for me.

Then Jane started complaining about the picture quality. It took us both a moment to realize that her vision was altering, and then we started laughing about it. In between fits of giggles, Jane pointed out my changing ears, and I couldn't stop touching them. They felt very odd and sensitive.

“Are you watching comedies or horror movies?” Mom commented with a smirk.

Several movies later, Jane's changes surpassed my own, probably because she had been scared more than me. I mentioned this to Mom, who was hovering nearby. The rest of the family was to be by later tonight, and Mom was trying to set up tables with Simon.

“Leia needs a good scare,” chuckled Simon. He went off into the kitchen to get food. Knowing him, he was probably eating half of it, too.

“Let's watch 'Psycho'!” Jane recommended, clicking the buttons on the controller as well as she could with her changing hands.

“Oh, that's not scary,” I mumbled. But it didn't matter, because I was progressing well enough. My tail had formed!

Clasping it in my hand, I wagged it experimentally, running my fingers through the soft fur. The feeling was completely unreal – like I had an extra limb or something. “I have a beautiful tail!” I couldn't help but proclaim.

Jane and Mom murmured in agreement.

Maybe halfway through the movie, Jane announced, “I'm so far ahead of Leia, I'm half her size!” She threw herself down on her side as her arms and legs became...all legs.

“Yes, Leia. Remember to lie on your side when you're getting your legs – like Jane's doing. It's a lot easier,” Mom instructed.

“Or you fall over!” Jane called out.

I glanced at my legs, which had definitely thinned, but they were not quite wolf-shaped yet. My feet, however, were more paw-like, and they had bona-fide paw pads! I drew my foot up and pushed on the middle pad, which was weird. It felt like I was pressing down on my cat's paw, but feeling it on the bottom of my foot – as part of me – was indescribable.

Jane grasped her stomach. “Oh, my insides! It's...tickly...”

As comical as her description was, the same phenomenon was happening to me too. My innards began to shift, making me queasy. My organs were transforming into animal insides.

“Weird,” I breathed, placing a hand on my midsection.

Once more, I wished my changing would hurry up. Now that my sister was nearly a wolf, the guests would come in and be impressed by how far along she was compared to me...

“I think we can dispense with the clothing,” Jane suddenly said. She jumped down and made her way into her room to shed her hanging garments.

“Are we covered up enough to walk around without them?” I looked under my shirt, which, to me at least, was as big as a tent. I was happy to note that every part of me was covered. The fur wasn't thick like Mom's or Jane's, but it was far enough along that no one could see any of my private areas.

“Guess so,” I answered myself, and I hopped down too.

The leap from the chair to the floor seemed a much longer distance as I'd actually gotten smaller. And landing on my soft paw pads was strange but nice. Suddenly there was a cushion there that made walking much more comfortable.

I attempted to make my way to my room, but it was tough. My body was all off, and I kept getting tangled up in my shirt. I tried to walk on all fours, because it felt right in my back, but my arms were still really arms, so I had to get back up.

The few yards to my room felt like I'd traversed several football fields, but I finally stumbled onto my fluffy pink carpet. I backed out of my clothes quite easily, and then I merely stared at them on the floor. My mind went back a month ago, when I was left behind, staring at an empty living room full of my family's shed clothing...

Everyone pretty much came to our house at once, and as expected, they began exclaiming over Jane and how she was already able to manage the changes a bit by using fear. Then the relatives flocked to me, examining my fur, and saying how proud they were that I'd chosen to join the family.

“But I'm going so slowly!” I complained.

“Boo!”

I jumped at least a foot in the air (and the paw pads helped!) as Simon suddenly appeared right in front of me. I knew he could do that, but I'd never actually seen it before. My newly-sharp teeth cut into my tongue and I tasted blood, but I barely felt it. For his scaring me had the intended effect – it set my body in motion to the extreme. Before my eyes, my fur grew so thick that I could no longer see skin. My ears migrated across my head. Some colors drained from my vision, and a pressure in my face signaled the coming of my muzzle.

“Oh, girls! Look how far you are, and it's nowhere near midnight!” Mom cried in excitement.

“I'm so proud of them both!” Grandma Lena chimed in, and I beamed. For once, my grandmother approved of me.

“I want to change nowwww!!” I heard Jane shriek.

“Make it happen, kid!” Cousin Sarah yelled. “Use that fear to your advantage!”

A lupine howl from behind me signaled that Jane had succeeded, and a great cheer rose from the family.

“Jane's done! She's gaining control already!” Uncle Mark proclaimed. “Good girl, Jane!”

But my own body was nowhere done with its own changes. I was advancing fast, and my figure began to jolt, shrinking and shifting.

“Look at Leia!”

“Down on your side, Leia!” Aunt Becky called out.

I fell to the floor as my legs thinned and shrank, and my arms matched them.

“I'm turning into a wolf,” I cried, and then could speak no more.

I was strength, raw power, and animal all at once. The form was incredible, and living, moving, and just breathing was exhilarating. My silvery paws hardly met the earth as I raced through the darkness, dodging my cousins and calling to my elders.

We were part of the night, and I never knew a happiness as I did in my animal form. I was one with my family, and I belonged.

And when dawn broke, there was a change-back bag waiting for me in the crevice by the tree.