by grapehyacinth

Roman and I were visiting my biochem professor. He was in the hospital after getting attacked and stabbed by a psychotic classmate named Tammy. After I caught Tammy together with him in his office, she was out to get me too.

But it was all okay. Roman had turned her into a pig for a bit.

“Oh, Roman,” I said to my husband, as we stood by the unconscious professor's bedside, “Look how many lives Tammy's ruined.” I gazed at the IV line running into the man's arm.

“It's okay. She's making lots of kids happy now at the petting zoo.”

I didn't respond. Last time we'd visited her, Tammy had finally given in and allowed people to pet her. She'd lost weight, and her angry attitude seemed finally to have been broken. She'd started out as a huge sow. Now, she was clearly wasting away.

Clicking his tongue, Roman gazed at the bandages across the professor's chest. “Let me fix him up,” he murmured, removing the gauze. The professor flinched, but did not awaken.

I watched my husband mend up the knife wound, smiling to myself. His unbelievable transformative abilities never ceased to amaze me.

“Dr. Mack, you're good to go,” he whispered, drawing his finger across the man's cheek. Incredibly, the professor stirred.

I drew closer. “Dr. Mack?”

His eyes opened, taking a moment to focus on me. Then he sat bolt upright in sheer terror.

“My wife! Tammy's going to go after my wife! She said she'd kill her if I ever told–”

Roman nudged him back against the pillow. “It's fine. She's been stopped.”

Dr. Mack was confused. He nudged Roman away. “Stopped...how? Is she in jail?

“No... she...” I stuttered, looking to Roman for help.

The professor jumped back up.

“Please, take it easy,” Roman pleaded, again directing the man back into the sheets.

“I'm fine, I'm fine!” Dr. Mack suddenly raised an eyebrow. “Remarkably fine, in fact.” He glanced down at his completely healed chest. Roman hadn't bothered to replace the bandages, which probably, upon reflection, wasn't the best idea.

“Somehow, I'm alright...” He scratched his head. “Funny, I remember getting hurt much worse...”

He looked at us for an answer, but both of us shrugged at the same time.

“That lunatic girl can't be out there on the loose!” he finally cried.

“It's fine. We stopped her. She's...penned up,” Roman explained.

As a couple of crows, Roman and I sat on the fence of the petting zoo, observing Tammy the pig. She was listless, wandering around aimlessly at the feet of the rest of the swine. I noticed when she drew too close to them, they chased her away, making loud, angry squeals. She backed off.

Wow. She doesn't even make a good pig, Roman commented in my mind.

I don't know why I felt bad, but I found myself increasingly sympathizing with Tammy, despite the fact that she was probably a murderer. Roman, you have to feel sorry for her. I mean, she's given up.

Well, that's what we want.

It is?

Roman looked at me, obviously flabbergasted. Corrie, this is the girl that tried to kill you!

I know, but why? Why is she like that?

What? Why is she a murderer?

Yes... I mean, maybe it's a cry for help...

Her victims are crying for help, too! No, I'm sorry. She stays this way a bit more.

And that was the end of that discussion.

As usual, Roman and I went to check my mother and stepfather's messages. At present, at their request, they were horses, and Mom was pregnant.

And yes, no matter what I told myself, deep down I still hadn't quite come to terms with that yet.

“Oh, this jerk called again,” Roman muttered.

“What jerk?” I answered, not too interested in his response.

“Dave's son, Keith.”

Ah, Keith. The new lawyer that my mother had been hoping I'd marry. Thankfully that had not come to pass. “Oh, that guy? Mom and Dave were trying to get me together with him...before I met you.”

We both smiled at each other.

Roman patted me lovingly on the back. “I'm glad that didn't work out.”

“Me too. Would have been kind of awkward.”

And my life would have been remarkably different. Quite.

We both knew this, but instead, we listened to the message. Mom and Dave still had an old answering machine- the same one we'd had since I was a kid.

“So, it's me for the eighteenth time, Dad. It's really pissing me off that I can't get in touch with you. Why the hell can't you return my message?”

“Maybe because he's a horse,” Roman chuckled at the machine.

I swatted at him.

“...And does Kate even exist? I haven't seen or talked to her in ages, and she's never there when I come by. For...well, weeks...no, months....I wanted to come by with the news, but I can't even get through to you!”

Roman paused the message. “He doesn't like Kate?”

“Well, I think he was annoyed that Dave remarried. Now Keith probably thinks Mom's avoiding him.”

“Well, didn't you feel the same way about Kate remarrying?”

The fixed gaze Roman gave me sent me back to a time of such uncertainty that I almost felt physically sick. Back then, my father's death was still fresh in everyone's mind, and Mom's starting to date again was just too much for me. I resented her for it, and our relationship had grown distant.

“Oh, Roman, you rescued me from such....” I couldn't finish. We'd had this conversation many times before, and it resonated with me to this very day.

“Robert's death was one of the biggest blows I've ever had to deal with,” he said quietly. “It was like losing one's sibling.” He turned back to the message machine and let it continue.

“...since I'm never going to talk to you, I guess you don't give a damn that I'm getting married. We sent you an invite. Maybe you'll RSVP in the next decade? Yeah, have a good one, Dad.”

Keith obviously had slammed the phone down after this, judging from the loud crash that concluded the call.

“Uh, does Dave even know his son is getting married?” I wondered aloud.

“Since I change him back every so often so he can pay bills and read the mail, he must have seen it.”

A quick search of Mom and Dave's house resulted in an ugly though expensive-looking wedding invitation. Keith was going to marry someone named Katia who lived out West somewhere.

“Uh, this wedding's in three weeks, Roman. We better go talk to Mom and Dave. Where are they now?”

Roman muttered something under his breath, then answered, “Out in the field beyond the house.”

When we went outside, I had Roman turn me into a horse. It felt right, and I wanted to talk to my mother anyway. I trotted over to her where she grazed in the grass beside Dave. I had to admit, they were both beautiful, their coats shining in the sun.

Mom?

She looked up, hearing me in her mind. Corrie?

Yes, it's me. Roman's coming in a second. How are you feeling?

Dave answered for her. She's taking it like a champ!

Ugh. My old dislike for Dave came back at the stupid comment, but I went past it.

I'm doing fine, Mom replied. When I was first transformed, I felt so large. Now I'm huge!

Dave whinnied. I think he was laughing. Then he saw Roman approaching, so he went over to meet him.

Now alone with my horse-mother, it took me a moment to think of what to say.

She started up first. I'm getting there, she commented, flicking her tail. A few more months to go!

I studied her for a moment. She was so perfectly equine, it was amazing that Mom was in there. Mom, what's it actually like? Expecting again...

Well, not that you can compare yet, but it's a lot different than human pregnancy!

It was a lighthearted comment, but it struck home. Roman and I still had not managed to conceive ourselves, so seeing my decades-old mother impregnated as a horse, well...

I continued on, nonetheless. But...what's it like day after day, being stuck in animal form?

It's lovely. If I wasn't expecting, it would be perfect...no stress, no work... She stuck her nose into the grass and swallowed down several blades.

I watched, fascinated. But what to you do to pass the time?

She straightened her neck and blinked at me. I just...be a horse. Because...well, that's what I am.

Okay, I'd been every kind of animal imaginable, but I'd never been one that long. And I'd never been stuck in any form. There was no being human for Mom until she delivered her baby. Roman didn't want to take the chance of her losing it, and Mom wanted it desperately. The whole situation was very weird.

Corrie, you look hungry. Go eat. There's a patch of grass over there that, I swear, it's better than ice cream...

But I was in no mood for grass. I wanted to understand what her life was like.  Mom, just...what do you think about all day?

Honestly, I'm pretty much a horse. I don't really think. I just kind of...am. It's only when one of you come by that I even think. I really just experience, otherwise.

Roman came by with Dave, who was now in human form. My stepfather stroked my mother's back lovingly, and it made me cringe a little.  

“I'll give you a good brush-down later, Kate. Before Roman changes me back, of course. I'm just going to take care of the usual at the house. Roman says Keith called. I'll call him back and give him our regrets.”

Roman, tell Dave to go to Keith by himself. He can't miss his own son's wedding, Mom entreated.

“Kate says to go yourself, Dave,” Roman said.

“No. I don't want to leave her alone that long,” he muttered.

I'll be fine. Tell him to go.

“She says–”

“I'm sure she's saying to go. But no, Kate. I'm not going. Absolutely not. He's holding it all the way across the country. It's a whole big thing, and a long trip. No. I'm calling him now.” He stalked off before Mom could retort.

The next time we checked in on Tammy, we were pigeons. I'd never seen her look so bad. She was covered in mud, which, despite her new species, she had originally refused to partake in. Now she was nearly unrecognizable, and she was shaking.

When she came nearby, Roman asked her out loud, “What's wrong, Tammy? Mud got you down?”

She looked up, momentary fire in her eyes. There you are, you bastard!

Roman shook his head, replying in his mind, That's not a nice way to talk to the one person who can save you.

You...flying rat! Then she did the weirdest thing. She broke down and started to weep. I don't know if normal pigs could cry, but she was, and it was freaky.

But Roman was back on her last insult. He stared down at his feathery chest, admiring himself. I beg to differ, Tammy. I think I make a very imposing, impressive pigeon.

Please, please. I've had enough. I'm sorry! I'll stop hurting people! I can't do this anymore!

Well, you really have no choice. I'm in charge now. I think he tried to smile. I own you.

That last comment bothered me a bit, but it had its intended effect.

Please. I promise. I...

What finally brought this on, Tammy?

She turned away. The males...

Ah, yes, the males took an interest in you?

She didn't answer.

I would have thought you'd enjoy that, Roman jeered.

Oh, Roman, you're being awful, I inserted. I couldn't imagine what she'd gone through with...the males.

Oh, please, stop! I can't take it anymore. I can't. Please help me.

Roman grew into a rather large version of his human self. He stepped over the fence and stood above the cowering pig. “You listen to me, Tammy, and you listen well. I will change you back if you will immediately go to the police and turn yourself in. We'll personally escort you there ourselves. You will plead guilty, you will do as much jail time as necessary, and you will get help.”

The pig hung its head. Fine.

“Okay? You understand? You need to admit everything. Turn yourself in. Deal with the consequences.”

Fine! I'll do it! Anything but this...life!

When Tammy became human once more, she stood very still, simply gazing down at herself. Then, gingerly, she ran her hands down her body from her shoulders to her toes. As she righted herself, she whispered, “I will never go on a diet again. I will never complain about what I look like again.”

Roman coughed.

“I'm ready to go to jail,” she said in a tight voice.

Roman sized her up. “Remember,” he said threateningly. “I will be watching you. I am everywhere and everything. One screw-up, and–” he poked her with his finger, and she shrank down into a rat, “this happens.”

He picked the cowering rodent up by its tail.

Oh, please, no! I told you, I promised... Oh, that hurts! Put me down! I'm coming! I'm...yours...

Tammy became Tammy, I became me, and we were off to the local police precinct.

After seeing Tammy safe in police custody, we went back to check how Dave made out with Keith. Dave also was waiting for Roman to change him back into a horse again.

Our timing was perfect. When we got there, Dave was outside brushing and cleaning Mom.

“That's freaky,” I uttered under my breath.

“Oh, but it feels so good,” Roman replied.

“Ugh,” was my response.

We walked over to Dave, who was actually a bit startled by our sudden presence.

“So, how'd it go, Dave?”

Dave turned around, dropping the brush. “What?”

“With Keith,” I added.

“Oh,” he looked away, “I left him a message saying we can't come.”

“That's sad that you won't go to your son's wedding, Dave,” Roman said. And I could see he meant it. “I wish I had a son....or daughter...and I could go to their wedding...” His voice trailed off, and both Dave and Mom looked at me with sad eyes.

“Maybe one day,” I said flippantly, but my heart wasn't in it.

“What's your excuse for not going?” Roman inquired.

“No excuse. Just said we can't make it.” Dave bent down and retrieved the brush from the grass. “Now can you turn me back? I'm tired of being human.” He handed Roman the brush and patted Mom one last time.

“You have to have some reason!”

“Well, I can't tell the truth, can I?” Dave's eyes blazed.

Roman was silent. He walked over to the barn he'd created for Dave and Mom to live in, and he tossed the brush inside.

Then we heard yelling and banging coming from the house.

“What the hell is that?” Dave exclaimed, moving toward the back door.

That's when Keith exploded out, yelling angrily. I was taken aback by how much he changed since I'd seen him last. He'd grown a beard, and he looked...well, a few years older. And I still detested him.

“I can't believe I found you, Dad! It's like you people are hiding from me! Why the hell can't you come to my wedding? Now that you're with Kate, I guess I'm yesterday's news?” He stared at me, squinting his eyes. “I guess it's all about Corrie now?”

I glared back at him. “Nice to see you too, Keith,” I growled.

“I can't go to your wedding because...well, Kate can't go,” Dave said angrily.

Mom whinnied softly behind him, and he patted her.

“That bitch can't even come to my wedding? Why the hell not?”

Roman came over and put his arm around me when he saw me bristle.

“She's not a bitch!” I yelled.

Roman raised his eyebrows. “Well, not quite. Keep guessing.”

Keith grew enraged. “Where the hell is she all the time? Hey, when did you get horses?”

Keith was now eye-to-eye with Mom.

Roman coughed, shuffling his foot in the dirt. “That's not a horse.”

Dave and I both stared at him in shock. Was he really going to tell the truth?

“Sure looks like one,” Keith spat, swatting at Mom. She bared her teeth at him, but remained still.

Dave glanced at Roman, who nodded slightly. “That's Kate,” my stepfather whispered.

Keith retracted his hand so quickly from Mom that I don't think he even knew what he was doing. He examined her for a moment, circling her carefully. “No, that's a horse,” he finally concluded. “A very pregnant one, I might add. Who's the happy father?”

“I am,” said Dave.

Keith was so disgusted that he looked like he was going to vomit. “How can you even joke like that... It's like...bestiality, and–”

“It's not bestiality if I'm a horse too! Damn it!” Dave gave up, throwing his arms in the air. “Roman, the hell with this. Just change me back.”

When Dave became a horse, Keith's knees gave way and he fell to the ground, shaking. When his father came over and nuzzled him, he turned away and vomited.

“Your Dad has to eat that grass, Keith,” Roman murmured. “Let's keep it vomit-free and palatable, please.”

“Holy...God...What the hell are you? A wizard? An alien? What the hell is this? I can't even imagine...”

“It's real, Keith,” I said in a tired voice. “Want to be something else? Roman can help. Here's your chance.”

Keith looked really scared. “But...but....but...” He rose, backing away from us.

“Kate's always around. Just not in human form. She's expecting, so we don't want to make her human until the delivery. Thus she's going to have to miss that wedding,” Roman explained. “Unless, of course, we get her in a horse trailer and drive cross-country.”

Dave softened a bit. “It's okay, Keith. Roman's extremely powerful, but he's a good guy. It's amazing what he can do.”

“I can demonstrate more, if you'd like,” Roman offered.

Keith's mouth fell open at the horse's words, and he continued to back away from us. “It's... you're...talking...”

Roman became a lion. I think he did it to impress Keith. Instead, it scared the living hell out of him, and he ran away.

“Oops,” Roman said, changing back. “That was not quite the reaction I was hoping for.”

After discussing what to do about Keith, the overall consensus was to leave him alone. If he told anyone what he'd seen, they wouldn't believe him and they'd brand him as crazy. Roman felt bad about doing this to Dave's son, but Dave didn't care. He said it served Keith right for barging in and being so nasty.

Dr. Mack and his wife came by to visit soon after. The professor was baffled about the Tammy experience. “How did you get her to turn herself in?” he asked, as Roman motioned them to sit down on the living room couch. He settled in the loveseat beside them, and I joined him.

“We had a long talk, and...made some threats,” Roman said tightly.

Jordana Mack blinked at us suspiciously. “What does that mean?”

“Do we really need to worry? She's where she should be, where she can't harm anyone,” Roman replied. He stood up. “Can I get you a drink? Tea, coffee–”

The professor stood up too. “How did I heal up so quickly? Jordana says I was stabbed. Now I don't even have a scar.” His eyes peered into Roman's, and Roman gulped.

“Maybe it wasn't as bad as they thought,” I added weakly.

“Are you a healer?” Dr. Mack demanded.

This was so out of left field that Roman stepped back. “Don't you teach biochemistry or something?”

“Yes, which is why I know that a stab would healing overnight is impossible. So my question stands: are you a healer?”

“Biochemistry professors don't believe in healers,” Roman responded, turning to Jordana. “Would you like a drink, Mrs. Mack?”

She stood up too, her eyes full of wonder. “Well, how else would you explain the fact that my husband is as good as new?”

“I don't know,” Roman said firmly.

The professor looked pleading. “Look, I'm a scientist who doesn't believe in things like this because I've never had proof. Now I think I do. So what are you?”

I'd never seen Roman wrestling with himself quite so violently. He cracked his knuckles and gritted his teeth. Then he took a deep breath. “I can't tell you.”

“Oh, please, we won't tell a soul!” the wife exclaimed.

Roman regarded Dr. Mack for a moment, obviously rethinking this. “You promise?”

Both nodded.

“Because if you say a word, I can stop you just like I did with Tammy,” he said forcefully.

More frightened nods ensued.

“I'm a shapeshifter.”

“Oh, my God! Turn into something!” Mrs. Mack screamed in excitement. Dr. Mack looked a bit more dubious.

“He's not just a shapeshifter. He can change anything,” I added quietly.

“So change,” said Dr. Mack.

“To what?”

Dr. Mack snickered. “An old sneaker.”

When my husband lay at their feet, a tattered white gym shoe, Dr. Mack jumped back in alarm. His wife clapped her hands, jumping up and down in glee. “It's real! It's real!”

The professor moved back in and observed the shoe. He looked up at me. “Can I pick him up?”

“Sure,” I said.

With shaking hands, Dr. Mack retrieved my husband. He turned him around in his palm, gawking at him. Gingerly, he ran his finger down Roman's leather side.

“Oh, that feels good,” said the shoe.

Dr. Mack dropped Roman to the floor.

“Ooof! Hey, watch it!” Roman yelped, and became himself.

Dr. Mack only gaped at him.

“No words, huh?” Roman smiled, dusting himself off.

Chewing on a fingernail, the professor pushed out, “Did...did that hurt?”

“When I changed, or when I dropped?”

“Both.”

“Changing feels great. Amazing. Being dropped, not so much.”

“But you have no nerves, no brain, no mouth...”

“I have a soul.”

“I...I don't understand... Please, Roman, I won't tell anyone about you, but you must let me study you. Please, I must understand you...”

Roman took only moments to reply.

“Okay.”

When the couple left, I turned on Roman. I was shocked.

“Why will you let him study you?”

“Because I want to understand me too. I've always wanted to learn about myself. After so many years, I would love to finally find out the hows, the whys... What am I? Why can I transform when you can't?”

“Can you turn me into a sneaker?”

Roman chuckled at my abrupt subject change. But what could I say? Seeing him as a sneaker made me crave to be all small and compact like that. And it had been a long day. I needed a break.

“Sure. Want me to wear you?”

“No, it just looks fun. I feel like being transformed.”

Roman made me a nice new white sneaker. He squeezed my sole a few times. It felt good.

Days later, I was in the bathroom getting ready for a late class. Roman was on the phone with someone. When he got off, he came to the door and started talking to me. I hated when he did that, but he sounded like it was kind of urgent.

“So my cousin needs to stay over a bit.”

Okay, not so urgent.

I pulled on my shirt. “That's the one that likes to be changed?”

“Yes, he is absolutely insane in the things he's had me change him into. I mean, this guy was a nail clipper for several days.”

Okay. A change that baffled me. Finally.

“Uh...why?” I opened the door as I straightened out my outfit.

Roman chuckled. “That's a first. Usually you say 'I want to do that'.”

“Well, I might, but why did he want that?”

“He said it was a nice form. And it was nice when I used him. The way it felt when he cut through a nail with that 'snap'...it radiated all through him, and all he could do was take it...”

“Sounds nice,” I said, thinking seriously about doing it myself.

“The weirder the form, the better for him. This is the guy who likes being a sleeping bag.”

“Well, I can understand that.”

“Especially if you let me crawl inside you.”

“Yup.”

“You almost done in there? I have a nice brunch all created for you.”

I turned to the bathroom counter, where I'd placed a small pink object. “Yes, just...checking this...” Then I stopped, my heart flying up into my mouth...

The pregnancy test I held before me...

...was positive.