Lena's Tale

by grapehyacinth

...This is the story of Rachel's mother...

Bad eighties music filtered through my open window. My neighbor was blasting the same song for the fiftieth time in a row. “Damn you, Jennifer!” I yelled, getting up and slamming the glass shut. Yet as I sat down at my desk to study for finals, something inside of me made me yearn for the fresh June air. I needed it so badly that I went back and re-opened the pane.

“Jennifer, lower your damn music!” I shouted again.

I wasn't sure if she did, but the air was so sweet, I finally placed earplugs in my ears so I could continue my work.

Then Mom came shuffling in. “Hey, Lena, we have a cake for you for later.”

Pulling the earplugs from my ears, I wondered if I'd ever actually get to finish my studying. “Mom, thanks, but I still don't know why I can't have a party for my eighteenth birthday until two weeks after.”

Sighing, my mother sat down on her bed. “You want to know why?”

“Because you're mean?”

She chuckled. “Yes. But we need to talk about it, and now's the time to do it.”

I balked. I really wanted to finish my schoolwork before embarking on this serious conversation. My mother had been alluding to it for a long time, but I was in no hurry to hear what kind of horrible skeletons were in the family closet. But a strange gleam in her eyes caught me off guard, and I placed down my pencil. “What, Mom?”

She let out a long breath. “Well,” she began, scratching at her ear. “I've thought about this day for so many years, I can't believe it's here.”

Okay, we were going to get a 'I can't believe how big you've gotten' speech. I braced myself for corny, weepy mom-isms.

“I went back and forth, planning for this...”

Planning? For what? A conversation?

She looked out the window. “Wow, that music's loud. Hurts my ears. They're so sensitive...when they're changing.”

She glanced up at me. I wasn't quite sure why. “Changing? Mom, what are you talking about? What are you planning?” I scratched at the back of my hand nervously.

Without taking her gaze from the window, she murmured, “Full moon tonight.”

A prickle ran through my spine at the tone of her voice, and then I noticed something odd. My mom was always perfectly groomed, her skin smooth, her face devoid of...well, anything. Today she appeared...fuzzy, almost.

She saw me examining her arm, and she ran her hand down it. “Yes,” she said. “I decided the best way would be to show you. Because just telling you would make you think I'm joking.”

I gazed at her skin, entranced. I swear I could see hair growing on it as I watched. It was thick, grayish... “Mom...what is that?”

Why did her ears look slightly pointy?

“I'm turning into a wolf, Lena.”

I snorted. Good way to start a deep conversation with one's daughter, Mom... “Uh...”

“You will too.”

“You're watching too much 'Teen Wolf', Mom,” I turned away. Was this her idea of some kind of joke? What was she trying to do to me?

...And how was she making it look like hair was growing? Was I seeing things...or...

She grabbed my arms and twisted me towards her. “It's a curse on our family, by an old wizard...”

Her comment sounded ludicrous, but now I could definitely see my mother was changing. Her nails were getting longer and her palms seemed to be darkening. My heart began beating way too fast. “Mom, what is that? This isn't...” I jumped up in fear. “How are you doing that? Tell me!”

Glancing down at my hand, she exclaimed, “It's starting! See for yourself! And your fear makes it go faster!” She sounded almost happy, and when I saw the obvious gray fuzz growing from my skin, I shrieked in fright.

“No! No, that's impossible! I...I can't....NO!” I shook my head back and forth several times, denying everything about the experience. It was not real. I was dreaming...

My mother placed her arm on me comfortingly, but I shrugged it off.

“It's okay, Lena. It's wonderful. You'll be fine, you'll learn to love it. There's no pain. It's just like you hear in the movies... See, long ago Simon the Wizard cursed us because our ancestor shot at him... Simon had turned himself into a wolf, and our ancestor thought the wolf was going to kill his livestock...”

“Mom, this is like...fairy-tale stuff...” My voice sounded gravelly, and I couldn't shake the feeling that it almost growl-like. I forced my ensuing words out in a higher pitch than normal to try to counteract the change in timbre. “So what's the point of all this?”

“On the full moon we turn into wolves.”

I stood there, shivering, unsure of what to do. The fur was growing faster, and I was feeling the urge to vomit. I had to get out of here, to make this go away, to ignore it...

My mom made a contented moan. “Ah, there's my beautiful tail.”

The sight of a wolf tail popping out of the back of my mother's pants made something snap inside of me. I pulled on my sandals, cringing at the sight of my sharper-than-normal toenails. Even though I only had a learner's permit, I grabbed the car keys, ran past my mom, and escaped out the front door.

“Where are you going? Lena, wait! You'll change while you're driving!”

“Get away from me! Leave me alone!” As I ran to the car, I looked back at my mom. She was standing there forlornly, her hands over her furry face. “Lena, meet me up in Rhinetown. There's a dirt road right off the exit ramp that goes right to an old cabin.”

“I won't meet you anywhere!”

“It's a safe house for changing, Lena! It's been in the family for years! Go there!”

I gunned up the engine and pulled down the driveway, nearly taking out my mom's famed mimosa tree. I sped down the street and onto the interstate. The idea of meeting her was ridiculous to me at the moment – I needed to get away from her! I had no idea where else I would go, but, judging from my fingernails thickening and also growing pointed, I knew I had to get there fast.

The mindless driving calmed me, which seemed to slow down the strange metamorphosis my body was undertaking. I realized that fleeing was a silly thing to do as my mother might have been able to help me, but, buried in my fear was an intense anger towards her which I didn't understand. This could not be real. Werewolves, or whatever I apparently was, were the subjects of legend, not reality. But seeing that I was undoubtedly transforming challenged my understanding of my whole world. Was I not whom I thought I was?

My mom's words ran though my head: “Your fear makes it go faster...”

No. I would not let this happen. I am not afraid. I am not afraid.

Trees lined both sides of the road, and in the lessening afternoon sun, I yearned to enter their protection. I opened the car windows and inhaled the deep scent of the woods around me, and I relaxed. Somehow, I felt that I belonged there.

Interestingly, that was where a sign announced I was in 'Rhinetown', a small town perhaps one hour from my own. Come to think of it, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to meet my mother here. If this was really happening to me, maybe it would be safer to be with someone who understood what was going on.

I pulled onto the overgrown dirt road and continued until I saw a cabin further ahead. I parked in a sandy spot several feet down the road from the structure. Before I got out, I studied my arm. The thick hair was still there, but it hadn't gotten worse. When I glanced in the rearview mirror, I did notice my nose had darkened somewhat. My eyes were gleaming like my mother's had...and they were golden.

“Oh...my...God...” The reality hit me again, and I watched the tears pile out of the golden orbs...

A weird, true growl escaped my throat, which only served to make me panic more.

“No, no. I'm going to stop this. I'm not scared.” I was shaking so hard that I could hardly open the car door. Jimmying with the door handle, I could see my fingers shrinking, and I yelped. I tumbled out of the car and ran towards the cabin, my feet falling from my shoes and my pants sliding down my legs. “No! No!” I cried, but my voice was even deeper and creakier than before, and I slammed my jaw shut.

And there, before the cabin, I paused.

It was a log cabin, the old wood green with moss. It was so weathered that I couldn't even pinpoint a date as to when it was constructed. But what scared me about it were the claw marks.

In several spots, most notably the door, the wood was ripped to shreds, as if a very large cat had been using it as a scratching post.

I ran my hand down a raw spot in the door. “Oh, God. This wasn't any cat.”

I looked to the left of the door, and gasped. “LAURA,” it said, scratched in deeply. And below it read “LAURALAURALAURA.”

Laura was my mom.

The inside of the cabin was even more frightening than the outside. The walls were decrepit, and the sand floor was strewn with dead leaves. Moonlight flowed in from the one window, which was surprisingly intact. More names were scraped onto the walls, some of which I recognized, and others which were alien to me. “I AM WOLF,” the wall nearest me proclaimed, and I whimpered like the canine I was becoming. How many generations of my family had changed here? I could almost feel the fear that had leached into the walls from my own ancestors...“Rachel, Diana, Hestia...” I mouthed the names, trying to hold back the changes that I knew were happening to my body.

In the corner was a cracked full-length mirror, which I purposely turned away from. I could not bear to look at what I was becoming.

But my body was letting me know nonetheless.

“Oh!” I yelped. My back ached, and I fell to the floor, holding up my bare foot in shock. It had gotten so dirty on the way here... I tried to rub the dirt off only to realize that it would not wash away. The darkness was actually a paw pad fighting its way through the skin and wolf claws were flanking it. “Oh, God, oh God,” I cried, grasping it and rocking back and forth. “Grandma Rachel, I miss you! I can't believe you were like this too...Just...please help me! Please...If I can just get through this okay, I'll name my kids after you. Every single one of them!”

Each word was more garbled as it escaped my changing jaw. And as my body writhed, the back of my spine began to ache tremendously, and I froze. Discomfort there could only mean one thing–

Something made a pop, and my tail was growing in.

I'm going to be a wolf...

My brain was running at a frenetic pace. If I turn into an animal...Oh God! What if everything goes away, and I forget who I am?

I need to look in the mirror...

Desperately trying to ignore the urge, I frantically scratched my own name into the sandy earth. Now I understood the reason for the 'graffiti'. My relatives had been fearful of losing their very souls!

“Lena. I am Lena.” I wrote it several times, catching pebbles between my wolf-toes but ignoring them. I just had to cement my identity in my mind. The smells and sounds of the night outside called me, and the wolf in me was stirring. I couldn't lose myself! “Lena. Lena. Lena.”

Finally, I could not hold myself back any longer. I had to look...

I flipped around and faced my fears.

Cracks ran through most of the ancient mirror's glass, but nonetheless, I could still make out my face. It was no longer human, but a strange furry mixture of human and wolf. My nose had twisted into a wolf's dark button-nose, and I could see the whole bottom part of my face was beginning to push out. My jaw was elongating, and when I opened it up, a mouthful of sharp teeth met my gaze. And I had whiskers. I never even realized that wolves had them.

I could actually see my ears finishing their metamorphosis into wolf ears, and I tapped at them in shock.

But my eyes...

My eyes were truly those of a wolf – but I could still see myself in them.

And I could see my fear.

“Lena is a person,” I quickly scratched into the sand. “A PERSON!”

As I tried to straighten up, I remained slightly hunched over. I found that giving in to the pressure in my back and allowing myself to go back to all fours was much more comfortable. My arms had become legs, and my legs had become back legs. I was now truly quadrupedal.

“Lena. Lena,” I murmured my name as I drew it, again and again, until my mouth had completely become a snout and I could not form words any longer.

My pants and shoes lay somewhere near my car outside, and now only my shirt hung ridiculously off my furry body like a sail. I backed out of it, sniffing at it with my new nose.

The scent on my shirt was me, but it was human me, and it spoke of danger. I flicked my tail and stared down at myself. One more tingly rush ran through me, and then my body grew still. My metamorphosis was complete. I was now an animal.

I let out a frantic howl.

At this, a prickly feeling ran through me. My hackles raised. Something was watching me.

I am trapped here. I have to get free.

I pushed open the door and ran off.

After dashing several yards away, I paused. What was I doing? I was a wolf! I wasn't supposed to be scared of anything! And at this time of night, what would possibly be out? A raccoon? A skunk? Annoyed with myself, I ran back to see what had trailed me. Near the cabin, the underbrush had been disturbed by something large. Smelling at the air, I could sense what had been there. It had been no wild animal. A young human male had been lurking nearby.

Scared yet intrigued, I followed his scent to the edge of the woods. There I stopped. Several small ranches were before me, and the closest now housed the boy.

I faltered. The woods was my home. Beyond was not mine. No longer was I safe in the human world.

But his scent was strangely fascinating. Had he seen me? I followed my nose to where it led me- his bedroom window. I peeked in.

He looked back.

I ran fast and far from the boy's house, not bothering to check if I was being pursued. What had I been thinking? I was a dangerous animal now, and slinking around backyards was a great way to be shot or killed. I had to stay far away from people, and I continued to run.

But the running also felt wonderful. There was fear, but there was freedom. With each moment, I felt more of my human cares and woes falling away as I slipped into the consciousness of a wolf. I was young, powerful, and beautiful. I could run through the moonlit forest forever. It was mine.

When my lungs felt as if they would burst, I curled up in the leaves by a stand of trees and fell deeply asleep. I didn't even miss my pillow or sheets.

Sometime before dawn, I opened my eyes as something stirred above me. The moonlight glistened on my silvery coat, and I actually felt proud of it. My thin human hair could never match its luxurious, glistening sheen.

And then there was a deep voice.

“You're beautiful. You women are so beautiful,” I heard.

Women? What women? I was a wolf!

I crouched down, a growl escaping my throat. I searched the area, but all I saw was an owl above me, which hooted and flew off.

I must have been dreaming.

I was in such a deep sleep, that even when the morning sun warmed my coat, I continued to doze for hours. The night had worn my animal body out, and I craved the slumber. Yet as the day progressed, my figure began to shift.

I was changing back...

I felt the bones growing, my back straightening, but I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes...

“My God, you're really real!”

The alien human words jolted me awake. I attempted to jump up on all fours, but I was mostly human now, so I ended up toppling into the leaves. I scrambled to rise, and the boy ventured from the underbrush. “Here, let me help you... You were so beautiful last night, I had to come find you, and I watched you change back...” He gazed at my nakedness, his face reddening. “Would you like me to get you a change of clothes?”

I hunched over, trying to cover whatever parts of me that I could, but the lupine distrust of humans was still very much alive inside of me. It was more important that I flee. This stranger couldn't know my secret!

As he reached out to help me, I stepped back several feet. “No,” I whispered. “You can't...”

“I won't tell a soul,” he promised, coming closer. “But you need to be careful. My father is onto you. He saw the other wolf in the cabin last night.”

Other wolf? Mom!

“She ran away, but he almost shot her. He says he's going to burn down that cabin this morning so he'll stop you wolf-people once and for all.”

I was in danger. The boy could not interact with me. The father couldn't find us.

I fled, and I could hear him fumbling after me. “Wait! Please, oh, please wait! I want to get to know you!”

I did not pause. The wolf in me still was light on my feet, and I was quickly losing him.

“Lena!”

The sound of my name made me pause, which allowed him to catch up somewhat. When I realized he might have seen it scratched into the cabin floor, I began to run once more. My car had to be nearby...

“Please, wait for me. You're an amazing creature and I want to meet you! I won't let him hurt you!”

Finally my car came into view, the keys still in the ignition where I'd left them. Gathering up my shoes and pants, I jumped into the car. As I pulled away, the boy emerged from the woods, crying out, “Lena, I'll find you, however long it takes. Then I'll marry you!”

A shiver ran through me, and I skidded off.

I saw him take down my license plate number.

And a fire burned in the distance.

Mom and I sat and talked for hours after I returned. “The man really burned the cabin down.” She said this as a statement, and her eyes blurred. “So many of us found ourselves in there...” She looked up. “Generations. I wish you had stayed there. I was worried about you, and then that crazy man came by and I had to run off... Actually, I wish you had just stayed home. We could have run together...”

“I'm sorry, I just needed to be alone... This impossible thing was happening to me, and before that you scared the crap out of me by changing.”

She smiled. “I don't know if there's a right way to talk about the curse. It's not like there's a handbook on it.”

I paused for a moment. “So you were a wolf last night too?”

“Yes, my sisters and I usually meet up to run together on the full moon. Your cousins come too. You can join us next time.”

My cousins...aunts...I thought I had a halfway normal family. Now I realized mine surpassed the worst of them.

After telling my mother about the boy, she looked somewhat concerned, but she did not comment. “Honestly, I find that dream more interesting. He said 'you women are always beautiful'?”

“Yes. But it didn't seem like it was a dream. And it also was an older man's voice.”

Mom started nodding, and then she smiled. “Simon.”

“Simon?”

“You saw an owl fly off?”

“Yes. There's an owl named Simon?”

Laughing, she tapped me on the back. “Simon's the wizard that cursed us. He watches over our family.”

Why this made her jubilant was anyone's guess. It got me angry. The bastard cursed us then watched us suffer? “First, how is he still alive, and second, I guess he gets a real kick of women getting scared to death as they turn into a furry monster!” I started crying again.

“Lena, we are not furry monsters. We are beautiful, lithe animals. And after last night, do you truly consider this amazing ability a curse?”

“It's hardly an ability.”

“It is when you learn to control it.”

Control? Well, that could make things a little better.

The phone rang. My mom picked it up, and her face immediately blanched. “Uh, there's no one here by that name.” She threw it down, then placed her hand over her mouth.

“What? Who was that?”

“He says his name is Tim, and he wants to talk to Lena.”

“Tim? I don't know any Tim.”

“Lena,” my mother gulped, staring into my eyes. “He says he met you last night.”

“I'm so glad you finally agreed to meet me,” said Tim, looking into my eyes, which apparently had retained a slight golden hue.

“Well,” I replied quietly, “I figured if I would, you'd finally leave me alone.”

Tim had called me almost everyday at least once. My mother refused to keep lying and saying I wasn't around, so I often had to take his calls. He kept telling me that I was fascinating and he just wanted to meet, even if it was just once. My first response was, “Does your dad know about me?”

For his father was as good as his word. Our family cabin had been reduced to cinders; I had gone back with my mom on my second change to check. We carefully avoided Tim at this visit, but his scent was in the air. And when I heard him calling my name, I wondered if he knew we were around.

“I would never tell my dad. He'd forbid me from seeing you. He's so old-school.”

Old school? So now turning into a wolf was a more acceptable event in today's world?

“What does it feel like?” he whispered, placing his face in mine.

I drew back. “Weird,” I murmured, sipping at the glass of water before me.

“Is it amazing to be a wolf?”

I thought about this for a while. “Yes, but it's scary too. I'm trying to learn to control it but I still need to work on it.” Okay, I hadn't meant to open up to him this much, but there was something about him that calmed me, as if he were an old friend who was happy to discuss anything...

“I have to admit, one of the reasons I want to know you is because I wish I could turn into a wolf. I'm actually jealous of you.”

I smiled and cringed at the same time.

“Can you like...bite me...and make me like you?”

He had made me laugh, although I don't think he had intended to. “I don't think it works that way.”

“So how does it work?”

I looked at him. Well, he believed in transformation already, so I guess I could tell him the rest of the story. “It's a curse. A wizard put it on my family long ago.”

His eyes bulged out. “No way! Wizards?”

“Yeah, his name was...is...Simon.”

“Simon the Wizard?”

“Simon the Wizard.”

He sat back, chewing thoughtfully on a sandwich. “He does spells and stuff?”

“I guess. He did something to get me like this.”

Tim stood up abruptly. “I gotta find him.”

“What? Why?”

“I want him to turn me into a wolf too.”

I grabbed his hand. “Tim, sit. I don't know if anyone can find him, or if he even still exists.” I didn't say anything about the owl encounter – I wasn't sure if that was real or not anyway.

He settled down in the chair with a small sigh, his eyes focusing on me. “You're beautiful in both forms,” he said, beaming.

“Thank you,” I mumbled, burying my mouth into my sandwich.

“Lena?”

“Hm?”

“Can I watch you change next time?”

It was only a matter of time before he asked. I had no idea how to answer. Changing was such an intimate experience, something that outsiders should not witness. “Uh...”

“Please?”

I gulped. “Let me ask my mother first,” I finally replied weakly.