Hello and happy new year Y’all!  

But not for me.  No way Jose!  I’m in a mood (again).  Only this time, I have a super legit reason for it.  For those of you that didn’t know, your favorite submissive bondage damsel and all-around bad ass also has a master’s degree in accounting so I between now and March, I’ll be doing free tax returns for the church, the boosters, the school, my sister, my brothers, my parents, my aunts, my uncles and the trusts I set up for my nieces and nephews.  

“Hey Tina, doesn’t it suck spending the coldest, darkest months of year locked in your basement preparing 50 some odd federal and state tax returns?” you might ask.  

“I’m so glad you asked.  Yes.  Yes, it fucking sucks.  I have no freaking idea why I do this to myself every dang year.  I’m the dumbest smart person in Paris, Kentucky.”

So, I have that conversation with the 50 different people that I do taxes for, each and every year.  And they all tell me I should ‘just learn to say NO sometimes.’  But not a single one of them steps up and takes back their W-2s and goes to H&R Block.  No Sir!  When they suggest I ‘say NO,’ they mean to say ‘no’ to anyone BUT them.  Grrrrrrrr! ( @V3399 that is not an invitation for another animal costume!!)

Want to know how stupid I am?  I’m even doing Kyle’s tax returns.  Yeah.  Kyle who’s already changed his social media status back to “In a relationship.”  Come to think of it, I’m not even sure he ever changed it to “Single” during the 10 days between the time we broke up and he got with Beth.  I wish he were an asshole because maybe then I’d put a bunch of fake shit on his return and get him audited.  But he’s actually a nice guy.  Which stinks.  

Did I mention that Beth is also a cop?  And 7 years young than me?  Not that I care about any of that.

Like I said, I’ve been in a mood.

But fortunately for me, my very good friend and part time Dom @Crab-Hermit swooped in at the exact right time and gave me a bondage challenge!  Hurrah!  And it’s a spicy one.  A hard one.  And it involves my massage wand set to “high” with no remote shut off.  Just the thing to make me forget my tax season/winter blues.  Tee Hee!!!

But one little comment before I get into the description.  And it’s only a little detail, but it’s such an important one.  Crab isn’t my Master.  Right?  Right.  He doesn’t own me.  But he is a Dom.  And the way I’m wired, I jump when a Dom tells me to jump.  And Crab is just the BEST when it comes to knowing when to play that power card on me.  We chit chat off and on, all the time.  And then after a few weeks, or even months, he just busts out with, “You are going to spend tomorrow tied up in XXXXX with XXXX hanging from your XXXXX and you’ll be wearing XXXX for XXXXX hours.  Understand?”  

And after my I pick my mouth up off the floor and wipe the drool from my mouth, I type, “Yes Master,” and it’s game on.  

While it’s true that I can have a self-bondage session for myself any old time I like, it’s not the same when I decide to do one without being told.  Please note, I didn’t say without being ‘asked,’ or without being ‘invited,’ or without being ‘suggested.’  No Sir.  Those things are fine and fun and fabulous.  But being TOLD, is a different kind of thing.  Being TOLD is what makes the fireworks go off in my head and the hairs on my arms go straight up.  Being TOLD is what makes me soaking wet before anything of the toys are even turned on.  I love being TOLD.  And Crab just has the timing down to a science.  My timing, anyway.    But enough about that…

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I got this really cool inflatable “wedge” mat to go along with my other playroom air mats and fun time devices.  When I got it, I thought it would be fun to do spread eagles and stuff prone in a decline position so the blook kind of runs down to my head while I struggle to get out.  I figured that might simulate a sense of peril without being in any real peril.  Honestly, it was kind of an impulse buy.  Lol.  

But that being said, Crab and I came up with a really cool idea for how to use it!  The plan is that I’m going to get tied up.  I’d use cuffs on my wrists, but the rest was a work in progress.  I’d wear a collar with a tether on the front.  I’d attach the tether to an O-Ring anchored in the floor right in front of the uninflated wedge mat.  

But I’d secure the tether with an S-Hook and not a carabiner that would lock.  That’s going to be important.

What would happen is, the mat would inflate.  I’d be position near the bottom of the incline and my tether would run out in front of my, up to the peak, and then bend down the front of the mat and connect with the S-Hook to the O-Ring.  The key to my cuffs would be placed somewhere on the floor that I should be able to crawl to.

But the way I’d be tethered, I wouldn’t be able to get off of the incline by sliding down.  My bondage would have me by the neck, preventing me from backing down.  Wiggling off the side wouldn’t really be possible either unless I wiggled part way up the ramp and then fell off the side.  It wouldn’t be a really far fall, but the bigger concern is that the tether could get hung up on the corner, and then I would be stuck up against the side of the mat unable to move at all.  My only way to escape would be to crawl up to the top of the mat.  Once there, I would have to get the slack from the tether to slide off and fall to the front, releasing the tension on the S-Hook, and freeing me to then slide all the way back down the incline.  Then I’d be free to crawl to wherever the key was and start the process of freeing myself.

Super easy, right?  Right?  Maybe?  Lol.  

OK.  Let’s talk about the rigging, the accessories and the rules.  Preview!  I’m going to post a Part 2 where I describe the actual experience.  This part is just the logistics.  Leave them wanting more, you know?  Lol.

The picture below is basically how the rigging would go.  My legs would be frogtied, super tight.  I mean, REALLY squeezing my heels against my hamstrings and pulling the buckles tight.  I want to make crawling as hard as I possibly can.

My elbows would be tied together with a cinched loop.  So, this isn’t going to be cinched super tight like when I’m tied down on my air mat because then I can use a tether from the ceiling to pull out the slack on the cinching and really pull my elbows together.  Since I need to crawl around, I can’t use a fixed tether.  But that’s OK.  There are other ways to turn a loose elbow tie into an effective restraint.  One such way (which is what I will use for this session) is once my arms are through the relatively loose elbow loop, I cuff my wrists together AND to a belt high around my waste.  Doing this will force my arms to bend and kind of flare my elbows out to the side.  That makes it so the loose elbow tie is now a tight elbow tie.  And my wrists are also now totally immobilized.  Cool, right!

Oh yeah, I’m just going to use basic leather cuffs on my wrists and connect them with a pad lock.  The cuffs each have a steel D-Ring on them.  Between the two D-Rings and the padlock, my wrists will be cuffed about three inches apart, which is just enough space to fit them through a waist strap.  I like the idea of the pad locked leather cuffs instead of normal steel police-style cuffs because they’re more comfortable, and because opening a pad lock is a more intricate operation than handcuff locks.  You might not think that would be the case, but it is.  If you don’t believe me, come over and I’ll cuff you a bunch of different ways and you’ll see for yourself.  Lol!  😉

So that’s the rigging.  

As for the accessories, I’ll be gagged and blindfolded.  I’m doing my favorite gag/blindfold combination that involves a total head wrap with an elastic bandage.  It’s not complicated.  I stuff my mouth with two pairs of socks so that my mouth is forced partially open but I can still bite down a little.  While I’m biting down, and my teeth are close to touching, but not quite, I wrap my entire mouth with tape, all they way around the back of my neck.  Then, still biting down, I wrap my entire head, except for my nostrils, with a wide, elastic bandage.  I wrap around horizontally and also under my chin and back over the top of my head so that my jaw is locked shut on the sock packing material.  Now I can barely even whimper.  But I can drool like a mother.  Lol.

The blindfold part is extra nasty considering I have to crawl up the mat, then down the mat, and then go find a tiny padlock key, without being able to see.  Thanks for that added degree of difficulty Crab!!

Moving on some more, now.  Dom Crab told me to do this one naked, so I’m naked.  In case you were wondering, I usually practice self-bondage in panties and a sport bra.  It’s not that I mind being naked.  In fact, it’s the opposite.  Naked bondage is for a special occasion.  Don’t you think?  I like to be ordered into naked bondage.  It just makes it sexier to me.  And I got ordered.  So, I feel fucking sexy.  And I’ll be wearing nothing but ropes, leather and tape.  

And also 4-inch heels.  Why?  Sexy is why.  Tee Hee.

Speaking of rope and tape, the final piece of the rigging is the massage wand.  I’d use a crotch rope to tie the head of it up against my recently-attention-deprived clitoris.  And I’d also use copious amounts of tape to secure the shaft up against my thigh, so there’ll be no way it slides off of me, no matter how much I roll and thrash about.

I almost forgot my collar.  I’m using my posture collar for this one.  If you’ve read all of my stuff, then you know that I consider my posture collar a stupid purchase.  I never use the thing.  It just feels weird to me.  Well not anymore.  Considering I might wind up partially dangling off the side of a wedge mat by a leash, the posture collar is perfect for displacing the tension over the entire surface area of the back of my neck, so no pressure is applied to the front/throat area and my freedom to breathe is never at risk.

I’m almost done.  Now for the “rules.”  I already explained how I’ll start off tied up on the deflated mat.  The mat, and ONLY the mat, will be on a 30-minute timer.  If I can’t make it up to the top of the mat to unhook my tether, it will deflate in a half hour, and I’ll be free to crawl forward to find the key.  Super short session, right?  As for the wand, it’s going to be turn on at the “High” setting.  

That’s it.  It’s just on high.  It doesn’t turn off until I get my cuffs off and I turn it off.  It doesn’t turn off when the mat deflates.  It doesn’t turn off if/when I reach the top of the mat.  It doesn’t turn off when I disconnect my tether.  It keeps on buzzing on high, pulled up into, with nothing else for me to see or hear, unable to reach down or around to shift it away or find a bit of relief.  No breaks.  No rests.  It’s just working on me.  And I’ve never actually been cuffed exactly like this, so I don’t know how long it’s going to take.

Good God this is just what I need for the fucking lousy mood I’m in.  Tied up, sexy and helpless, worn out and used.  I just can’t wait to see how this goes.

I’ll tell you all about it soon.  K?  

Love Y’all!!!  XOXOX