A collaboration with the fantastic @DarkSkyFalcon
The Quest For Camelot was a cute if unambitious little animated movie thrown together by Warner Brothers Animation Studios to try to blunt the onslaught of mega-hits rolling out of the House of the Mouse and Steven Spielberg’s production project, Amblin Entertainment. It followed the cartoon movie playbook of the day which was to interject a brave young protagonist into a well-known mythology and have them discover their inner strength as they overcome impossible odds while singing their way into a happily ever love story along the way. Warner Brothers announced the movie in 1995. However, due to a “troubled” production, it was not released until 1998. The film’s excessive-for-the-time $40M budget ballooned, due in large part to the director, John Dailey’s insistence on shooting most of the movie with live actors, even though it would all be drawn by animators and the footage would never be used. Even the dialogue would be re-recorded in post-production. Dailey insisted even though this would likely double the cost of the movie, the specular results would more than make up the different.
“An animator simply can’t capture the emotion of live actors. Especially when if comes to action scenes. To stunt work. Quest is a cartoon but it’s also an action movie with epic stunts and suspenseful peril. How can an animator create, for instance, the conflicting struggle of a damsel in distress, without seeing an ACTUAL damsel in distress? They can’t! Can they?” Dailey stated during an interview on Entertainment Tonight. The host followed up.
“I’m sorry, did you say the ‘conflict AND struggle of a damsel?’ Dailey frowned.
“No. Conflict-ING struggle. CONFLICTING. A damsel is conflicted.” Dailey said emphatically. The host hesitated but quickly gave a “TV-host” chuckle.
“Not sure why a damsel in distress would be conflicted, but I guess that’s why Warner Brothers doesn’t trust me with $40 million!” Dailey’s lips formed into a tight smile and a high-pitched, wheezy laugh seeped out as the show faded to commerical.
Quest for Camelot grossed only $38 million at the box office. It was a disappointment for Warner Brothers but thanks for video and DVD sales, avoided being a complete disaster. Even so, it was a shock to the industry when John Dailey emerged from obscurity in 2008 to announce a live action adaptation of Quest.
“And you’ll be producing this on your own? Warner Brothers isn’t producing?” This time the host was from a YouTubechannel series on “One Hit Wonders of the 90’s” and not a national television show.
“No! I’m not sharing this with a studio. But I will share it with the world. And the world will see. One day, live action adaptations of classic animated movies will be the rage!” The host gave a ‘side-eyed’ smirk.
“CLASSIC animated movie? Are we talking about the same film, John?” Dailey frowned.
“Quest WOULD have been a classic. If the studio and ratings board had let me make the movie I WANTED to make. But now I will. And they’ll see.”
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Tina Josephine had a perfect view into the long-shuttered factory from her well-concealed vantage point in the woods. The kidnappers were all there. Four in total. Nothing but small arms on them, just as she expected. Tina squinted through her binoculars and adjusted the magnification. “Black suits?” Tina shook her head upon seeing the kidnapper’s cliché attire. “These dolts think this is the Matrix?”
She swept her view over to another part of the factory where her ‘payday’ laid on a tarp on the ground. The gorgeous socialite’s little black dress she wore to the party the night she’d been taken was laying across a chair in the corner. She was still wearing her lacy, black spaghetti strap slip and matching thong panties. She looked absolutely fetching! And to her credit, the spoiled brat was actually struggling in her strict hogtie and ball gag. “Good girl,” Tina thought, impressed at her spirit. “Amazing what a little motivation can bring out of someone.”
Tina zoomed in as tight as she could on Ginny, the kidnapper’s victim. The hogtie was relatively basic but tight. Several tightly cinched rope loops held her wrists and ankles together. The tether connecting the wrists to the ankles was excessively short forcing her to either arch her back or roll onto her side. Either position would be a torment. Then Tina noticed the large black ball gag practically spilling out of Ginny’s mouth. “Assholes didn’t have to make things THAT uncomfortable,” Tina grumbled as she contemplated how much it would cost them when she was finished with them.
“We’re leaving now. You’d better have the money. I have two men behind with the girl. Any trouble for us and the bitch is dead.” Tina listened to the conversation on her earpiece. She watched Ginny reacting to their words. Her shoulders were shaking. Tina couldn’t hear from her distance, but the girl was obviously bawling.
“Serves you right, you careless cunt.” Tina thought. She remained motionless as two of the suited kidnappers hopped into their windowless van, completing the stereotype, and drove away. “Time to earn your keep girl,” Tina said to herself. She moved silently down the hill toward the factory.
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Ginny’s father handed Tina a small duffle bag full of cash. Ginny was in the back of Lexus with a blanket over her shoulders and her mother consoling her. The two men Tina shot had been removed from the factory and were on their way to get cleaned up. Men were walking in and out of the factory carrying things to and from cars, and generally giving off all of the vibes of a busy crime scene investigation.
“It’s only 75. Not the full 100.” The successful businessman declared as he passed the bag.
“Dang, seriously? I didn’t think we were that bad.” Some of Tina’s native Kentucky twang slipped through her practiced Midwestern accent. He simply stared back at her. “OK, OK. You’re right. You’re right,” Tina smiled and blew a pink bubble with the gum in her mouth. It popped. “Hey, do you want me to go talk to her? You know, give her one more lesson?”
“You’re not getting a penny more than 75,” the man said sternly.
“No, this is just a public service. It’s on the house. I swear.” Tina made the sign of the cross with her index finger to emphasize her good intentions. The man nodded toward the rear window of the car and walked to the driver’s side door. Once inside, he lowered the window. Tina bent down and got in close to Ginny.
“I had to kill those two men to fix your screw up, chick.” The once calm Ginny began wailing again. “Stay the fuck away from the dark web you brain dead cum bucket. Stick to My Little Pony sleep overs and Disney on Ice and shit like that. Girls like you don’t belong at rages. Girls like you disappear and get turned into harem sluts for greasy, fat oil sheiks or gimp rape toys for the mutant rednecks down in Deliverance country. So, smarten the fuck up, sweetheart. I’m not saving your fat ass again.”
Ginny’s Dad’s mouth hung open as he glared at Tina.
“Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Your ass is nice. I shouldn’t have called it fat.” The car peeled off and left Tina smiling in a swirling dust cloud with a big bag of money.
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“Mr. Dailey, this is….are you sure this….that’s really tight.” The director continued coiling the cotton rope around Tina’s wrists in ever tightening bands. Her arms were already tied hard against her sides. She panted breathlessly. “Sir, please….I thought this was an audition for….”
“This is most CERTAINTLY an audition, stunt girl.” Dailey didn’t stop as he spoke. “And you are doing quite well little Miss.” Tina trembled but with excitement. “And you are a perfect match for Amber. Your face, your eyes, your hair, and your body.” His hands slid down to Tina’s legs where more rope waited to be cinched. “This is the same costume she wears in her scenes. The exact same. And it fits you perfectly. No one would ever know the difference.”
Tina saw the animated version of this movie when she was little. And she loved it. She especially loved Kaley, the main character. She loved how Kaley overcame challenges. She loved how Kaley rose to the occasion. And she also loved how Kaley gasped when the ropes first touched her. The villains bound her hand and foot and the courageous heroine would writhe and struggle, but first, for that split moment of recognition, she gasped. The genius of the animators! She found a way to send a subtle message to Tina and the other submissives. The message was that they weren’t alone. Tina was not alone. She was not the only girl who secretly longed to be a damsel. Needed to be controlled. Felt whole when she was dominated.
“Thank you, Sir. I’m trying.” Tina’s hands gently massaged her bottom as she swayed slightly, intoxicated by the feeling.
“You don’t have to try, Little One. You’re a natural.”
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“I said, didn’t you used to be an actor too?” Barry was discreetly counting the wads of $20 bills in the paper bag Tina slid to him at the coffee shop at Gate A2 of the airport. He’d changed out of his black suit, cleaned up the fake blood and was now dressed like any other traveler preparing to board their flight.
“I was a stunt man, Barry. Briefly. Very briefly. For a movie that didn’t even get released.”
“Well, I’d say it worked out ok for you Boss,” Barry made quotation marks with his fingers when he said the word “boss.” Private investigator to the rich and famous. You’re like a cat. You landed perfectly on all fours.”
“Ha. You know I really AM a PI. These fake kidnappings to scare kids straight are just to fill in dead space.” Barry held his hands up in front of him.
“No offense, Tina. Swear to God. Me and the guys are thrilled for the work. The actor’s guild strike is killing us and you’re keeping the lights on lady.” Barry was a lousy actor, but he was honest and could keep his mouth shut. That’s all that Tina needed.
“The strike ended, Barry. You’re not getting jobs because you suck.” Tina laughed as Barry feigned offense.
“Bitch!” Barry laughed. “No, but seriously, now you owe me. You can make it up by introducing me to that former Mouseketeer friend of yours, Amber. She still works, right? I mean, she never got huge like those other Disney kids, but she gets work, yeah?”
“I’ll see what I can do.” Tina got up from the table and walked back to the main terminal. “I gotta catch my own flight.” As Tina started walking, her phone vibrated silently. A text message from Amber appeared on the screen.
“Here’s your boarding pass. First class. See you in LAX bestie! XOXOX.”