Hey Y’all! First, let me just say, it’s February 6 and it’s 60 degrees and sunny here in Kentucky (I just love living in Kentucky). I mean, who gets to have weather like that in February and NOT have earthquakes, hurricanes and/or 700% humidity? Nobody! Right? Lol. Remember, it’s not bragging if it’s true!
Now onto Chapter 9. More specifically, Chapter 9, Part 1. You see, this is going to be a long chapter. This also might be the last Chapter. If it is, fear not, I’m going to continue working on fictional stories. I’m definitely finding my traction in pure fiction, and I have no plans to stop. But as for the 99% Real Journey of Bondage and Submission, I might have actually figured out what I was trying to figure out. And that’s the 100% real reason why I’ve been writing all these “stories” here on Deviantart.
I want to issue one final disclaimer, dear readers. There isn’t a super easy, linear way for me to explain what I have to say. I might by more bouncy than usual, and I know that’s pretty damn bouncy already. Also, this has some real-life stuff. And like everyone’s lives, parts are hard. They were hard to live, and they might be hard to read. I’m not trying to make this chapter fun to read. I think it will be interesting to read. Especially if you’ve stayed with me this far on the journey. But if it gets too heavy and I lose you all in the process, hey, I know it’s me, not you, so no hard feelings. K? K!
We’re traveling back to the fall of 2010. For your reference, back in Chapter 1, we visited me as a college student/athlete in 2009. Yep, I’m still in school. And, yep, I’m still almost completely clueless about BDSM. But as a Junior, I was now granted the privilege of being allowed to live in off-campus housing. And that meant no roommates. And THAT opened up a bunch of possibilities for my, heretofore, “lame-ass” efforts at self-bondage.
OK, the living arrangement: I was living in a nicer than I could afford 3-bedroom townhouse with two other girls on the cheerleading team. One of the girls was the daughter of a big-time athletics program “booster,” and his annual checks to the school not only covered most of our rent, they were the main reason why his less-talented daughter was on the roster of one of the finest cheerleading teams in the land. Anyway, on this particular weekend in the Fall, my two teammate/apartment mates were both traveling with the team to cheer at a football game out West somewhere. Might have been Utah. I can’t remember. I just knew I wasn’t going, and I had the whole place to myself. And I had a pretty clever plan to repurpose some furniture into a great self-bondage system (the advent of greater things to come!).
The plan involved the sleeper sofa in the living room. It was kind of old and super heavy. It was the kind that had this big metal frame folded up inside. You lifted it up and out from inside the sofa and set it down on its legs. It was assisted with gas filled canisters and it still thudded on the ground when you set it down. At that point, the frame was about 2/3rds extended with the last 1/3 folded flat on top of itself. There was a “pull bar” that you just needed to hold and pull toward yourself while standing at the foot of the 2/3rds bed, and that allowed you to easily unfold the final 1/3rd and set it down on its legs.
My plan was pretty simple. While the bed was 2/3rds unfolded, I was going to tie myself to the bed frame. To make it work, instead of me laying with my head and feet oriented at the head and feet of the bed, I would lay sideways on the bed, perpendicular to the head and foot of the bed. So, if you can use the picture below with the partially unfolded mattress, I’d be laying along the edge of the unfolded section of mattress. I was going to use rolls of athletic tape because we basically had unlimited rolls of athletic tape, being cheerleaders and all. I used a whole roll on each ankle, taping my right leg to the frame at the head of the bed, and my left leg to the folded over frame that would be the foot of the bed once it was unfolded. At that point, my legs were just a little wider than shoulder width. When the frame was fully opened, my legs would almost be in a front split, and my ankles would be about seven feet apart.
But for now, I was able to reach the “side” frame. I guess it would be the left side if you were standing in front of the bed looking at it. Before I started tying my ankles, I had used another roll of tape and formed a loop made of 7 or 8 layers of tape that was around the middle of the left side of the frame. I had to stretch, but I was just able to slide my upper body up to the loop. I put my right hand through the loop and met with my left hand. Then, slowly, and methodically, using my mouth as a third hand from time to time, I wrapped my crossed wrists together with a full roll of athletic tape. The tape wasn’t neat at all. It twisted and flipped over and was generally hard to work with given my position. But by using enough of it, I managed to form a virtual cast for my crossed wrists.
The final bit of tape work was to fortify the tape loop tether connecting my wrists to the bed frame. I had only used about half of the roll to make the loops. I now took the remaining roll and started wrapping it around the loops from the bottom where my wrists were tied up to the top where it encircled the frame. Again, it was slow and very tiring for my hands. But by the end, the previously broad, 12-inch loops of tape had been pulled together, shortening the tether into a 6-inch, dense braid of tape.
When I conceived my plan, I wasn’t really sure it was going to work out, and I was extremely pleased with he results. I turned and twisted my wrists a bit and found they could barely move at all. I gave the tether a few good tugs and it seems quite strong. I looked down at my bound ankles behind me and was satisfied by the thickness of the tape wrappings. A few exploratory tugs verified that I was not getting my ankles untied without my fingernails or my safety scissors.
At this point, I was getting both extremely exited and quite nervous. I’d never gotten into really, really solid bondage before. Most of my self-bondage had just been handcuffed wrists and leather strapped legs. But with this, once I let gravity lower the rest of the bed frame into place, I was going to have the sensation of true helplessness. Sensation of? Hmmm. I mean, it was just an illusion of helplessness. I looked down at the size of the folded bed frame again. Using the leg tied to it, I pulled it in an inch and then let it out and inch and then brought it back to center. The section swung on it’s hinge smoothly enough. Of course, right now, I’m not spread apart. I have leverage. I can use my hips and my back along with my legs to move the frame. What happens when I’m laying on TOP of the frame and I’m mostly immobilized…BBBZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!
Holy F-ing Shit! Something was buzzing hard and startled the crap out of me. Two things happened at the same time. My eyes darted straight at the front door. I was both certain and terrified someone was about to walk in, which was completely irrational because nobody rings a doorbell and then just walks in, AND because our doorbell didn’t go BBBZZZZZZ! The second thing that happened is the scare jolted me and I lost my balance, rolled a little to the left and sent the final 1/3rd of the bed frame crashing down onto its legs. I was so fixated on the door and then the relief moments later of realizing it was just my phone vibrating that I didn’t really notice how the extending of the bed and the stretching of my legs caused my upper body to slide down away from the edge of the frame where my wrists were tied more to the middle of the mattress. Instead of noticing that my arms were actually fully extended now, and nowhere near being able to reach the loose end of the tape braid that would allow me to unbraid my tether. Nope. None of that registered yet.
Here's what WAS registering. I’d done it! I was tied up. Sure, it was fake. I knew I could get out. But I could struggle as hard as I wanted and not be able to get free so long as I didn’t lift the 1/3rd section of bed frame back up. So, I spent a next 15 minutes of so pulling hard against my bondage. And it was really tight! There was no slack at all in my ankle ties or with my wrists. I had gone way into overkill with that amount of tape I used. The bed frame creaked but didn’t not give. The flimsy mattress sagged under my efforts. I worked myself into quite a state of exhaustion and arousal. And the arousal, while not unexpected, was also a fairly new sensation. I’d been aroused previously from watching damsel in distress scenes in movies and on TV, and I’d been turned on from some light tying up with a boyfriend here or there, but this was a flaming hot lust-rush coursing through me that was completely next level and new. And I wished so badly that I’d set up a toy or something I could have used to satisfy myself. I found myself trying to grind against the mattress, but there was nothing I could use. Frustrated, but still elated with my accomplishment, I resigned myself to enjoying a night of “helplessness,” and to come up with a “fix” for myself for the next time.
Bbbzzzzzzzzz!!!!! I was rudely and abruptly shocked from my deep sleep by my phone vibrating again. I reached over to turn it off, only I didn’t. My hand wouldn’t move. Confused, I rolled over to reach for the light switch, only, my body wouldn’t turn. “The fuck??” I thought I was just wrapped up in my sheets so I gave my legs a hard tug KNOWING that I would roll over and was completely stunned to find I could budge. It was quite dark and as my eyes adjusted and I realized I was not in my bedroom and remembered that I had fallen asleep, tied up in the living room. “YES!” That was amazing. That was bucket list stuff. I had a couple of seconds of the damsel experience. I was helpless and I didn’t know why, and I didn’t want to be. Oh, how I tingled then! I’m tingling now writing about it. This was a fabulous night.
I let out a yawn a lion would be proud of. I was thirsty. I wasn’t sure what time it was, but it still seemed like the middle of the night. I decided that I’d gotten as much out of this session as I was going to get and that I’d get some water and go to my comfy bed. I flexed my left leg and pulled up the 1/3rd section of mattress to allow myself to reach my taped hands. Wait. That’s what I meant to do. The section of bed only lifted an inch off the ground. OK. I wasn’t really trying. I tried to shift my body to the right, so I wasn’t so much laying on the 1/3rd section. Hmmm. That didn’t actually work either. I was pretty well staked down right in the middle of the mattress. This is silly. I remembered that I couldn’t just pull against the frame. I needed to lift it up while pulling in so it would swing on its hinge into an upright position. I’d just lift my core and my torso up off the mattress on my elbows and knees and that would provide the needed leverage. And as I tried to bend my elbows to raise up on them, I found that I couldn’t pull my arms in because the tether was not long enough. Also, as I tried to bend my legs so that I could lift up on my knees I found that my legs were stretched out fully. So, that was disconcerting.
I was breathing pretty fast and hard. I’d been struggling and straining considerably, and I was also feeling quite the panic welling up. I was tied down much better than I’d expected, and I was starting to have doubts about getting myself out. “Come on Tina,” I encouraged myself and tried one more huge effort to pull against the 1/3rd bed frame. It was raising! I got an inch. And then another inch. I knew if I could bend my knee and engage my hamstrings that would provide a lot more strength. Another inch. I clenched my eyes and squeezed tight fists. Maybe now. I pulled in with my hamstring, but nothing happened. My efforts were still pulling into the frame instead of lifting up over the hinge. My leg slipped on the sheet and the bed fell back onto its legs. This was not good. And then I went into a berserker panic struggle. And thrashed wildly about with no rhyme or reason. It’s not an exaggeration to say I was desperate to NOT be discovered like this on Sunday by my roommates. And I was having serious fears that’s what might happen. I struggled until I was exhausted. “You are fucked, Tina,” I whispered as I gulped up air. I’d done my job too well. Far to well. With all of the struggling I was sure I’d have stretched or loosened my tape bindings somewhat, but a visual inspection revealed that they still looked thick and pristine. They may as well have been steel cuffs.
I was a trapped animal. My instincts had overridden my intellect. I found myself struggling again against the bondage that I knew I couldn’t defeat. In fact, the only real chance I had would have been to make another attempt at lifting the bed frame. It wasn’t much of a chance, but a better one than trying to break through a ½ inch thick tape wrapping. But I wasn’t thinking. I couldn’t think. I just knew I need to get out. And before long, the adrenaline that fueled the latest escape attempt had been used up and I was laying limp, spread out and defeated. Dominated. Completely, blissfully helpless. Loving it while being terrified of it. You were made for this, Tina.
I glance up and for the first time, I noticed something. I noticed the weak point. It was the tether. Not the braid. The braid which had been reinforced with wrappings of tape up and down its length was strong like a cable. But the braid stopped at the bedframe. The tape that wrapped around the actual frame was still just several layers of looped tape. And it looked like all of my thrashing had started to separate some of the layers. And two of the individual layers were forming small tears. I pulled straight down with my arms with as much strength as I had left. The braid creaked. I saw vibrations course up through the loops, but the small tears did not expand. I leaned as much as I could to the right. Only a few degrees off center, but something. I tried to pull my arms down and to the right. This seemed to be the right angle. The tears in the tape banks pulled apart a little. Next, I tried to jerk my hand hard in the same direction instead of just pulling. The jerking caused even more of a rip to form. Yes! I continued forcefully yanking down, over and over until finally, the tether broke away from the bed frame.
What followed was an hour, at least, of me prying the twisted and folded tape wrapping off of my wrists with my teeth. I took a long break. And then using my arms with my legs, I was able to pull the 1/3rd of the frame back up off of the floor so that I could reach my ankles. Those tape wrappings were cleaner and much easier to unwrap. By this time, I could just see sunlight starting to creep into the windows. It was almost 7 am on Saturday morning. I put the bed away back into the couch. I bundled up the tape remnants and threw them in the trash. I drank a bottle of water, went to the bathroom and then I crawled into bed. It had been a transformational night. I couldn’t wait to spend some time reflecting on it. But right then, I needed sleep. I drifted off the second my head hit the pillow and had dreams of waking up tied down to my bed, only with a Master there with me, using me, tormenting me, all for his pleasure.
Almost done. One more event to share.
I slept until noon. I put on a long t-shirt and went to the kitchen. I got a bowl of cereal and carried it to the living room. I retrieved my phone from the end table and saw 20-something missed calls. The most recent was from home. I hit redial. “Tina!” It was my brother, Mike. I was the youngest of six siblings. I don’t think I’ve mentioned that yet. “Hi Mike. What. I didn’t know you were home.” The pause was forever.
“Oh, god Tina. It’s. This is…something bad happened.”
“Mike. Mike?”
“I’m. Tina. Jeremy.” Jeremy is the youngest of my brothers, four years older than me.
“Mike. What about Jeremy. Where’s Dad?”
“Jeremy. He’s dead. Oh God. I’m so sorry. Can you come home right now?
“No, Mike. What? What did you say?”
“Come home….”
“NO! What did you say about Jeremy!”
“Tina, Jeremy’s dead. They found him. In his car. He killed himself.”