Tokyo-II was known for many things: being a technological and architectural marvel, being the site of a seemingly endless onslaught of Angel attacks, and housing what some considered to be humanity’s last hope for fighting off its extinction. Near the outskirts of the city was an area used for training to fight off the malevolent Angels, and one young man was practicing his piloting skills. A purple robotic titan stood in the middle of this area. After a brief pause, the monstrously huge machine started doing a series of what seemed like basic human exercises.

Shinji gripped the controls of EVA-01 tightly, recalling the embarrassing circumstances that led to this situation. During the last battle against an Angel, his allies Rei and Asuka managed to pin down the gigantic threat to the city, leaving Shinji to land the finishing blow. He commanded EVA-01 to draw its school bus-sized knife, charged in with a battle cry, and… tripped.

On nothing.

Leading to the massive machine face-planting and causing millions of dollars in property damage, as well as the Angel breaking out and prolonging the fight even longer.

Shinji’s face grew red with embarrassment. The higher-ups at NERV decided that some coordination training was required, which involved some repetitive exercises to ensure Shinji and EVA-01 were synced and ready to work together without another blunder. It wasn’t hard work; the worst aspect to Shinji was how ridiculous he had to look to anyone watching.

Shinji sighed and thought aloud to himself, “At least Misato said she’d keep Asuka and Rei busy so they don’t watch me do this ridiculous stuff...”

Meanwhile, a little ways away, Asuka and Rei were watching him doing that ridiculous stuff.

“Why did we sneak away from Misato again?” asked Rei in her usual monotone.

Asuka suppressed a snicker and replied, “Becaaause, we’re watching Wunderkid over there make a fool of himself! Look at him, he’s making the EVA do jumping jacks! I just hope we get to see him fall on his face again, bahahaha!”

As her fellow pilot laughed, Rei watched on. “I guess it is a bit… silly.”

Asuka glanced over at Rei, not happy that Rei wasn’t taking as much glee from this as she was. “Alright, if that doesn’t do anything for you, check this out.” Asuka pulled out her phone and took a short video of the sight, panning over to herself and Rei to show they were both watching. Ending the video with a devious wink, she captioned the video ‘try not to trip’ and sent it to Shinji.

Continuing his exercise, Shinji noticed he received a message. He casually opened it up on a side monitor within the EVA’s cockpit.

A few seconds later, Asuka got what she wanted. Shinji had completely lost focus and coordination in the middle of a jumping jack, leaving his gargantuan machine teetering on just one foot.

“Ahahaha! Oh, that really got him good!” Asuka laughed. She looked over and even Rei had a small smirk on her face from the sight of it.

Unable to maintain balance, Shinji tried to regain control by quickly stomping the other foot of EVA-01 down.



THUD

It just so happened that Shinji wound up taking this corrective step in the direction of where Asuka and Rei were standing. The two girls shook, both from the tremor-inducing force of the stomp as well as the fact that the gigantic war machine had halved the distance between them. The smiles gone from their faces, they looked at each other.

Shinji, in the meantime, had not totally regained control. Though the foot was successfully planted, the force of the step made the ground below unstable, and this combined with the momentum of the countless tons of metal sent him careening toward fully toppling over.

The two girls’ eyes grew wide as a huge shadow was cast over them. They only had a moment to panic before-

THMMMM!!

EVA-01’s full body crashed into the ground below, creating an indent from its monumental mass. Shinji cringed at the fact he lost control during the corrective training specifically assigned to him to avoid all this.

Suddenly, Shinji got a call. The always-welcome face of Misato popped up on his HUD, asking if he was ok.

“Y-yeah Misato, I just got a bit… distracted.”

“Ok. Well luckily you didn’t wreck anything important this time, so how about you get your thoughts collected and start over from the beginning,” the purple-haired woman replied.

“S-Sure…” Shinji blushed and got EVA-01 back on its feet, returning to his position and resuming his work.

Misato hung up the phone. She didn’t have any time to be upset or disappointed with the boy when she was focused on the two runaways she was tracking.

“Ugh, I can’t believe I have to chase after them! I was expecting something like this from Asuka, but Rei?!” she ranted to herself. She casually surveyed the almost person-shaped crater left behind by the titanic trip. It was the usual carnage: cracked pavement, some crushed trees, two perfectly flat poster of Rei and Asuka, a bunch of dirt everywhere-

Misato did a double take. A mix of bemusement and frustration came over her as she realized what happened. She slid down into the crater and walked over to the two crushed pilots. Standing before them with her hands on her hips, she took a look at the carnage.

Both girls were flat enough to be perfectly level with the ground. Of course, all that mass had to go somewhere, so they made up for their lack of y-axis with a wider x and z. They were also both smashed so hard and so thin by the poorly piloted mech that the ground below them could be seen through their bodies. However,each had taken the moment before their impending crushing in a slightly different way.

Rei looked stiff as a board, her arms and legs pointing straight down in a pose that made Misato think of a very tense popsicle stick. She couldn’t move much on the flat plane of her face except her eyes, leaving her in an uncharacteristically expressive state of shock. It was still fairly subdued, but it was more expressive than Rei usually showed off.

Asuka, meanwhile, was splayed out like a stereotypical police chalk outline. Wide eyes and a wide open mouth completed the look of a comically terrified cartoon character who just realized they were about to be crushed by multiple tons of metal. Though similarly immobile to her crushed compatriot, it didn’t stop her from pushing out an angry rant from her barely working mouth.

What the two did have in common, however, was the overwhelming sensation of being utterly crushed. Though their bodies were sending signals that it wasn’t normal to be flatter than paper, they were unable to do a thing about it. The most impressive movements they could muster with their flattened muscles were some barely noticeable quivers and twitches of their forms. Left trapped in the intense discomfort of being utterly crushed, Asuka raged and Rei quietly pouted to herself.

“I ‘AN’T ELIEVE ‘AT U’ID IN-I! (translation: I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT STUPUID SHINJI!)” Asuka ranted, mostly only able to form vowels without the use of her lips, “‘UMKOF’! ‘EX’ ‘IME I ‘EE ‘IM I-! (DUMMKOPF! NEXT TIME I SEE HIM I’LL-)”

“Ahem,” Misato interjected.

The two flatties’ eyes shifted toward the woman looming above them.

“Aaahhh… ‘ey ‘ere, Mi’a’o… (Aaahhh… Hey there, Misato…)” Asuka squeaked out.

Rei was even less articulate than Asuka and could only murmur out a “Hmm mrrph mmmph…" Not even a true expert in smush-speak would be able to sus out what she was saying.

Misato didn’t dignify their attempts at speech with a response as she grabbed each one by the tops of their heads. With the embarrassing sound of a bandaid being peeled off, Misato slowly pulled each of their flat forms up and off the ground. She found it to be one of those oddly satisfying things you never really think much about. Both pilots-turned-posters let little moans slip, caught in the sensation of feeling their bodies flop around in the breeze. It was a bit of a relief from being stuck to the ground and debris below, but flopping around like garments on a clothesline was disorienting in its own right. Feeling helpless, the two girls had no choice but to let their guardian and the wind do whatever would happen next.

Dangling a girl in each hand, Misato finally addressed the pair of sheets. “So. You two disobeyed direct orders from your superior, entered an EVA training area during live piloting practice, and made us miss the surprise spa day I was gonna take you to if you had just stayed with me,” she said, seeming to take that last item a bit more personally than the others. “Now, what did we learn from all this?”

“‘In’i i’ a idiod. (Shinji is an idiot.)” Asuka was not one to decline a chance to diss Shinji.

“Mm mm mmr mrrmmph hrr mmmmph…” Rei murmured. Though Misato couldn’t tell what she was saying, she at least sounded more sincere than the German brat in her other hand.

“Well, under normal circumstances, you could be court martialed for a violation like this…” Misato let her words cling in the air for a second before continuing, “...but I think I have a better punishment for you two.”

The pair of pressed pilots shot each other nervous glances for a moment before a sudden shift. They felt the absurd and disorienting sensation of being rolled up like scrolled as Misato started to scrunch each into easy to transport tubes. It almost felt like curling up into a fetal position, but with way, way more curls. And tightness. And bends in the body. It took a couple minutes, but Misato eventually wound up with a murmuring roll of poster girl, one angry and the other mostly silent, under each arm as she headed back to her apartment.

Arriving home, Misato greeted her pet penguin Penpen.

“WARK!” said the domesticated Spheniscidae.

“Good boy,” replied Misato.

She haphazardly tossed the groaning scrolls onto the living room floor, each landing with a startled “mmph!” Her first order of business, as was the case every day, was to get into her casual clothes and grab some beer. She returned to the squirming sheets in the living room in shorts and a tee shirt after having already downed one can of the good stuff.

“Alright, time to fold up the dirty laundry,” Misato said as she lifted Asuka and Rei and let gravity do the work of unfurling them

“‘Ir’y ‘aundry’?! (Dirty laundry?!)” Asuka replied, indignation clear in her tone, “‘ou ‘an’t all ‘e ‘a’! (You can’t call me that!)”

Misato laid Asuka back down before focusing on Rei. Treating the blue-haired girl like an oversized towel, she folded and folded until Rei was left in a neat little bundle, her flattened face featured at the top.

“Hrrmm mmnn mmmph?” she asked.

“If you’re asking what I’m doing, you’ll find out in a sec,” replied Misato. She placed Rei down on a pillow on the floor, then turned her attention to Asuka.

“‘Ou ‘e’er no’ ‘ou- nnngh! (You better not touch- nnngh!)”

Asuka didn’t exactly put up much of a fight, despite her constant whining. Soon, she was folded up just like Rei, making for a cute little bundle of pissed off flat German. Misato tossed her down on top of Rei, causing a small grunt from the first sheet.

“Wha’ a’ ‘ou ‘oin’ ‘ow?! (What are you doing now?!)” demanded Asuka.

“Oh, just teaching you two a lesson in how to stay put when your commanding officer tells you to,” Misato said with a mischievous grin. She then turned around, and let herself fall backward onto the pillow.

Fwump

“MRRRPH!”

“Hmmph!”

Asuka and Rei were plunged into a world of oppressive hot pressure. The soft yet merciless weight of Misato’s booty only compounded how compact and cramped they both felt. And, as if that weren’t enough, the folding resulted in Rei getting a face full of Asuka’s chest and Asuka getting an up close and personal experience with Misato’s ass.

Misato giggled at their reactions. Her new seat heated up rapidly as she wriggled her way into a more comfortable position, then flicked on the TV.

“Yup, I think it’s gonna be a lot easier to babysit you two like this.” A satisfied smirk crept along her face as she felt a weak squirming beneath her. She sunk into the cushion and relaxed while a performer on the TV sang.

“Fly me to the moon, and let me play among the stars…~”