"Ugh, why do I have to wear all this stupid heavy armor?"

    Another battle, another day of Hilda being left in the dust by the rest of her higher-movement compatriots. Though running around in a huge suit of armor was better in city streets than in muddy fields, it certainly wasn't a walk in the park. As she struggled to keep up in her extremely heavy armor, the pink-haired fortress knight couldn't help but to complain aloud.

    "Not that I mind not having to fight, but if I'm not gonna make it to the fight anyway then why do I even come? A delicate girl like me is more fit to be riding on a pegasus or something anyway!"

    As luck would have it, Lysithea had been chucking fireballs at distant enemies within earshot of Hilda's complaining. "Hilda! Do you need a hand getting to the front lines?" she helpfully asked after dealing with her target.
  
    "Huh?" Hilda stopped her slow but steady charge and gave Lysithea a curious look, "No offense, but I don't think you're gonna be able to carry me..."

    "Of course not, but I have been learning an incredibly helpful spell that can turn the tides of battle! It's called warp. Let me practice it on you!" Lysithea spoke like a child excited to show her older sibling a new talent they had learned.

    "I mean... I don't really want to get to the front lines, buuuuuuut I guess the Professor and Claude would be pretty peeved if I didn't get any experience for three battles in a row..."

    "Oh come on, you have to pull your weight too you know," chided Lysithea.

    "Blah, she never falls for my charms," Hilda thought to herself. "Fine, use your warp thingy, just don't put me somewhere too dangerous."

    "Alright, here we go!" Lysithea cheered.

    With a strange chant and some quick hand-motions, a flash of light engulfed Hilda. One second she was looking at her small sorceress comrade, the next she at the corner of a building in a completely different part of the city.

    "Woah! That... was weird. Anyway, I should probably get to fi- wait a sec. Why do I feel so much lighter?" Hilda looked around. Then she noticed that her axe wasn't in her hand. Then she noticed that all of her heavy armor was gone. Then she noticed that the only clothes she had left on were some undergarments that barely covered her body.

    "...Eee! What the hell Lysithea!?" Hilda shrieked and tried to cover as much of herself as she could with her arms and legs while looking around for enemies.

    Lysithea stared at the empty suit of armor and axe laying at her feet. "...Uh oh. I better get these to Hilda right away! Hope I still have another warp left in me!" With considerable effort, she managed to work up the willpower to cast warp yet again, hoping that the location was close enough to where Hilda wound up to get to her in time.

    Suddenly, a flash of light went off above Hilda's head, causing her to look up.

    "Huh?"

    SPLAT
    KLANG

    As it turned out, Lysithea's second warp was just slightly off target: she had teleported the entire load of heavy equipment just a few feet above Hilda's head. Unfortunately for poor Hilda, a set of armor being dropped from a few feet is significantly heavier than a set that's simply being worn, and her body was instantly compressed underneath the weight of the metal.

    "Nnnggh... wh-what the hell just happened?" Hilda thought to herself. All she could really tell was that her entire body was engulfed with the pressure of being squished under something really heavy. She tried to move it off her, but her body was in an incredibly awkward position that didn't let her budge an inch. 

    "Hnnngh! Nnnngh! Ugh! Can't get whatever this stupid thing is offa me!" After a bit more struggling, Hilda had no choice but to give in to the pressure. After taking a few moments to take stock of the situation she determined that her face, shoulders, and chest were all being pressed against something metal, her feet, legs, and butt were being pressed against the road, and the rest of her was all scrunched up somewhere in the middle.

    "Ah! Enemy armor!"

    "What?! Was that Clau- ACK!"

    KLANG

    Within the span of only a few seconds, Claude had rounded the corner of the nearby building, mistaken Hilda's empty suit of armor for an enemy, pulled out his hammer, and smashed it down on his perceived target.

    "Woah! Did I just..." Claude looked at his hammer, then at the crushed pile of steel in front of him. "Ooooh, it was an empty suit of armor. For a second I thought I was Dimitri's lost brother or something." He laughed at his own joke and squatted down to inspect the aftermath of his haphazard smashing. "Still, I certainly wasn't expecting anyone to be in this part of town with a battle going on. And who just leaves a pile of armor laying around?"

    "Hrrmmmmm..."

    Claude jumped back, "Ah! Ghost armor!? N-No, there's gotta be a rational explanation..." Claude got closer and hesitantly lifted the smushed pile of armor to see what might be underneath.

    "...Huh. That's not what I was expecting." As Claude peered underneath the heap of metal, he saw the 2D image of a pair of feet surrounded by what appeared to be spread-out legs and the underside of a butt that was barely covered by pink underwear.

    "...Now this just raises further questions," Claude pondered aloud.

    "Hmm mmmph!" The disk-shaped girl murmured with a face full of armor.

    "Wait, Hilda? Hold on, lemme just, ah," Claude inspected the bundle for a second before finding a good spot to get a finger between Hilda and the armor. With an audible schirrrrp, he peeled Hilda's face from the smooth metal surface.

    Similarly to her other side, all of Hilda's features on her front were entirely flat and flush with each other. Her face was mostly frozen in the dumbfounded expression she had right before the armor first fell on her. It was in the center of the disk of her body, compressed too tightly for any movement other than some slight twitches and the movement of her eyes. Other than that, the rest of her front was composed of her flowing pink hair and her sizable yet still flat cleavage.

    "Hrmm mm mrr hmm mmph!" Hilda tried to express her gratitude with a sarcastic yet genuinely appreciative remark, but she couldn't exactly form words with her mouth being nothing but a flattened decal on the surface of her body.

    Claude's concern was short lived upon recognizing that Hilda was still alright, despite being compressed to a fraction of her normal stature. "Jeez Hilda, I knew you didn't want to fight, but don't you think this is a bit extreme?" he joked.

    "Hmm mmph mmrr!"

    "Yeah, no idea what you're saying, but I have a feeling it's something along the lines of, 'See, this is what you get for putting such a delicate flower like me on the battlefield,' right?"

    "Mm, hmm mm hrrmm."

    "Oh, and now you're saying, 'Oh Claude, you dashing young hero, I'm so grateful to you for saving me that I'm going to take over your chores for an entire month!'"

    "...Mrrrrrr..."

    "Ok, we can negotiate that one once we get back from this battle. Wouldn't want anyone to make any rash decisions under so much pressure, huh?"

    Hilda's flattened face shifted ever-so-slightly to something resembling a sneer.

    "Yeah, I guess that joke kinda fell flat." 

    Before Hilda could respond, Claude had already rolled her up into a scroll-like shape. He tucked her securely in one of the pockets of his outfit, being sure to be extra careful for the remainder of the battle.