"Wooooooooooooooooo!"
    "Cassie please."
    "You shut up John."
    "I didn't tell you to shut up-"
    Cassie let out an unladylike burp in John's face, cascading her boyfriend with the stench of alcohol.  Though most of the people at the frat party had either passed out or left, Cassie was still going strong.  Clearly inebriated, Cassie giggled at her vulgar display.  
    John, on the other hand, was not much of a drinker himself.  He had just barely finished a single can of beer earlier in the night, and by this point he had completely sobered up.  With a sigh, he excused himself to the restroom.  He loved Cassie, and she was fun when she was drunk; up to a certain point.  They had been at the party for a while longer than John wanted to stay, and at this point John was so tired that he was thinking about just crashing at the party rather than driving home.  Despite the fact that the party was practically over, Cassie was determined to stay, and her usual stubbornness was amplified by her inebriation.  Sighing, he exited the bathroom to once again try to convince his beloved girlfriend to leave.
    He found her in the living room, once again not using her inside voice.
    "Guys, check this out, it's gonna be siiiiiick!" she called out to a bunch of people who were either asleep or not paying attention.  As she drunkenly stumbled forward a few steps, John noticed something was on her hand.  She noticed John approaching her before he reached her.
    "Bae!" she exclaimed as she stepped forward and bear hugged her man.
    "Oh god, you just said bae unironically.  You really are drunk," John said as he felt the life start to get squeezed out of him by Cassie's boa constrictor-like grasp.
    Cassie released her grip and stepped back.  "I, er, uh, y-you're drunk," she stuttered with an overly exaggerated indignant look on her face.
    "What's on your hand?" asked John, ignoring her theatrics.
    "Oh, this?" Cassie completely changed her tone.  She held up her hand, which she had stuck inside of a glass jar.  The jar was a bit bigger than her hand, allowing her to move her fingers around inside of it.  "I was gonna stuff my whole body inside this jar," she continued nonchalantly.
    John gave her a perplexed look.  "Why do you want to stuff yourself into that jar?"
    "Cause it would be a dank party trick you dumbo."
    "... You're a weirdo when you're drunk," John grinned at his girlfriend.
    "Oh yeah?" Cassie playfully said, raising her eyebrow.  "Could a weirdo do... This!"  Cassie lazily swung her foot up into the air at John's head.  The kick, which seemed like that of a kung-fu master to the slowed down perception of Cassie, was more like an graceful underwater movement to John.  John easily caught Cassie's foot with his hand.  Cassie, having thrown one of her feet into the air, had now completely lost balance.  She started falling, but caught her fall using the hand that was in the jar.  The force from her body weight pushed her arm further into the jar, and, due to her easily squished body, her entire forearm was squished into the jar.
    "Actually, that's pretty much exactly what a weirdo would do,"  John smiled at the half fallen over Cassie, noticing her arm squeezed into the jar.
    "Eh heh hehehehe," giggled Cassie drunkenly.  "Now help me get into the rest of this.  I mean, help get me... get the me into rest of... please help."
    "Listen Cassie, I'm not going to help you stuff yourself into-"  John interrupted himself.  Cassie's stubbornness had been preventing him from leaving the party for hours now.  But, if she happened to be put into a position where she couldn't object...
    John donned a devious grin.  "Of course, darling.  I'll help you all the way into the bottle."
    "Yeah, that's my lil' bitch," Cassie joked as she stuck her tongue out playfully.  Even in her drunk state, she recognized that she could get John to do almost whatever she wanted, though at this point she didn't realize that she was the one getting played.
    As John knelt over the jar to assist Cassie in her party trick, Cassie proceeded to push the rest of her arm into the jar.
    "OK, so, I, like, wanna make a face on the side of the jar, so push my face in next," Cassie explained.
    "Of course, that is the most beautiful part of you after all,"  John said with a wink.  He knew Cassie loved it when he would randomly call her pretty.
    "Gay," Cassie replied with a blushing face.  She started to try to push her own face into the bottle herself, but John quickly began to aid her.  To this day, John still found it odd how easily deformed Cassie's head was.  Everything else seemed to squish so naturally, but her head always seemed like it should be more solid.  He easily pushed her head into the jar, taking more time than necessary to feel her soft, short hair and making sure that her face would be displayed on the side of the jar.  After her was finished pushing, he looked at the expression she had decided to don.  
    Fittingly, it looked like she had pressed her entire face up against a window, only to a more extreme than possible degree.  She had her mouth wide open with her tongue sticking out, not unlike a drunk girl at a party taking a goofy selfie.  A large portion of her tongue was pressed against the glass, turning it, like the rest of her face, into a lighter shade than it normally was due to being pressed so tightly.  
    "You alright in there?"  John knew that she was, but wanted to ask just to make sure.  He felt a little bit guilty about stuffing her in the jar just to get her to stop complaining.
    "Ih ah ih igh."  Cassie tried to say "It's a bit tight," but due to her mouth being stuck open and compressed, she was only able to get the vowel sounds out.
    John, being fairly used to Cassie being in this sort of predicament at this point, understood what she said.  "Well Cassie," John said, "it's about to get a lot tighter."  With that, John took one of her shoulders in each hand and pushed them into the jar.  Cassie felt her face press even closer into the inside of the jar as the mass was added, and she was about to feel even more.
    Next up to be shoved into the jar was Cassie's chest.  John smirked to himself as his lust overtook his guilt.  He made sure to take his sweet time pushing and kneading her breasts into the jar, feeling them easily give way to his grasp.  After he felt he had enough fun with his fondling, he made the final push that ended with Cassie's boobs being shoved into the all consuming jar.  
    Ignoring Cassie's comments about being "careful with the merchandise," John moved on to her waist.  Though it was easier to squeeze Cassie's thin waist down to the circumference of the jar, it was getting harder to actually shove her mass into it.  So much Cassie was already crammed into a space that could only fit the hand of a normal person that even Cassie's malleable body was starting to give some resistance.  Undeterred due to his desire to go home (and his desire to feel up the rest of Cassie's body), he pushed Cassie's soft, smooth belly into the jar with the rest of her.  Cassie, even in her numbed drunken state, was feeling the pressure build.
    It was then that John got to Cassie's hips.  As John watched Cassie wiggle her butt as a signal for him to hurry up, he felt like he could keep staring for hours.  John was under the spell of the hypnotic ass jiggle, Cassie's yoga pants leaving little to the imagination.  Cassie finally called out to him, which broke him out of his daydream.  Partially blinded by the magnificent booty in front of him, he saw no better way to shove the next part of Cassie into the jar other than to plant a hand on each cheek and start squeezing.  Cassie let out a startled squeak as her ass was suddenly grabbed by both of John's hands.  As he pushed down, he made sure to massage her especially squishy rear.  Though it was mostly for his own pleasure, the massage helped soften Cassie's body and made it easier for her hips to be squeezed into the jar.  Before he finished pushing the entirety of her hips in, he made she to give her more sensitive area an especially sensual massage, eliciting more than a few squeaks of pleasure from the cramped up Cassie.
    After having taken his sweet time with her hips, John moved onto Cassie's legs.  Similarly to how the waist was, the legs got easier and easier to fit into the opening of the jar, but harder and harder to actually push in.  Eventually, he managed to push her entire legs in, ending with her Converse covered feet.  As he pushed the shoes in, he made a mental note to remind himself to ask Cassie how her clothes manage to inherit her squishy properties.  Looking around briefly, he found the top of the jar and capped it.
    Cassie, now completely cramped into a space that barely fit her hand earlier, was starting to regret her decision.  Despite the fact that she was more three dimensional than the times she had been flattened, she like she was under even more pressure than any of the times she was a sheet.  At any rate, she figured that her face had been pressed by the rest of her body so much that her head was probably only about the thickness of a coin.
    "Alright Cassie, I'm tired, so it's time to go home."
    "Mmph? Mmm mmmph!" Cassie tried to protest, but at this point she was so squished that she couldn't even form the vowel sounds that she could earlier.
    "Yes yes, I know, I'm a jerk, but I told you I need at least some sleep tonight!  I have to study tomorrow, and you know I can't retain information when tired."  He picked up the jar of Cassie with ease, despite the fact that all the mass of the fairly tall girl was contained within it.  He continued, "Hmmm, because of you I wasted a lot of time that could have been spent sleeping or studying or playing video games.  I might just keep you in there so you don't distract me tomorrow."  John turned the jar of Cassie to the side with her face and gave her a wink.  Cassie tried to protest this suggestion, but the glass ensured that she could only produce barely audible muffled cries.
    John took Cassie under his arm, finding himself turned on by how little and helpless Cassie was in the jar.  As he placed her in the passenger seat of his car, he wondered if she would be more or less distracting in the jar or outside of it.  He decided that it would be silly to go through all the effort of pulling her out of the jar in the same night he pushed her in, so he would just leave her in the jar and place her on his nightstand for the night.  He hoped that she would be too hung over in the morning for her to be mad at him.